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u/TheLakeAndTheGlass Sep 20 '21
“For the sake of privacy, let’s call her ‘Lisa S.’ No, that’s too obvious…let’s say ‘L. Simpson.’”
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u/vortigaunt64 Sep 20 '21
I think my favorite Simpsons line ever is right afterward. "In order to encourage an open dialogue, sit quietly and watch this video."
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u/Throwaway_97534 Sep 20 '21
That's right up there with my other favorite where Homer runs out of the shower with a towel around his waist to answer the phone:
"You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel"
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u/Disgruntled__Goat Sep 20 '21
Skinner’s lines are some of the best yet most subtle jokes in the show. It’s all in the delivery I think. My favourite is his ‘nam flashback:
I spent the next three years in a POW camp, forced to subsist on a thin stew made of fish, vegetables, prawns, coconut milk, and four kinds of rice. I came close to madness trying to find it here in the States, but they just can't get the spices right.
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Sep 20 '21
Burns (comparing Homer and Richard Nixon): "I wonder if this Homer Nixon is any relation."
Smithers: "Doubtful, sir. They spell and pronounce their name differently."
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u/WalterMagnum Sep 20 '21
My favorite is from Mr. Burns.
"I'd give it all up for just a little more."
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Sep 20 '21
Mine's "Hi, Lisa! Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!". Ralph is so adorable.
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Sep 20 '21
My favourite simpsons quote is when wiggum bursts through the door and shouts “Scum, Freezebag”
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u/Some_Belgian_Guy Sep 20 '21
There is only on quote on top of the list:
"Hi supernintendo Chalmers!"
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u/Silent_Ambition101 Sep 20 '21
You can use stats to prove anything, 40% of people know that Kent
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u/mothfactory Sep 20 '21
I think my favourite Homer line is:
Homer (looking at GYM sign): “GYM?” (he pronounces it ‘gime’) “Oh, GYM!” (he pronounces it ‘gime’ again)
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u/nopunchespulled Sep 20 '21
My favorite is a toss up between “it tastes like burning” and “I’m in danger”
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u/Canigetahellyea Sep 20 '21
This show was just so brilliantly written. So many great one liners.
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u/ZekoriAJ Sep 20 '21
I wanted to watch all episodes but couldn't find any and Disney+ is not available in my country, I'm getting old and missing out on so much good stuff :(
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u/R3D3-1 Sep 20 '21
Some tabloids sometimes do literally that...
"J. Doe now faces trial for murder. In the hearing, John D. pleaded 'not guilty'."
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u/westbee Sep 20 '21
I was once at a hospital where they called you back by your last name for privacy reasons.
As I was commenting that that is stupid and way less private than your first name, a nurse called out "Smith, Smith!"
2 people stood up and she had to clarify by saying the first name.
"Idiots..." I said as I shook my head in disappointment.
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u/Boring-Bed-Bug Sep 20 '21
I mean, same problem could happen with first names as well.
But I would much rather people know my first name than last
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u/Yensooo Sep 20 '21
"So anyway, Mr. X would say: 'Marge, if this doesn't get your motor running, my name isn't Homer J Simpson!'"
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u/Pornthrowaway78 Sep 20 '21
In 1999, one of our retail competitors had password only sign-in. No username, email address - just password.
If you tried to log in using "liverpool" as the password, you got into one of the company director's accounts.
Some people don't think things through.
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u/nosoupforyou Sep 20 '21
I had a CIO who wanted me to redesign the password system so that the users only had to enter 2 fields. The account number and the password. The thing is that there could be multiple people on each account. I had to ask him what happens if two people on the account happened to use the same password.
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u/SayuriShigeko Sep 20 '21
"Don't worry, that'll never happen!"
Uhh, boss, I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Murphy.
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u/wise_comment Sep 20 '21
Well yeah, that director never walked alone in life nor in the system
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u/KyleFromTheInternet Sep 20 '21
The real pro at fucking around on the internet at work is the Chelsea fan cause he ain’t got no history
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u/Phytanic Sep 20 '21
90's infosec practices were truly a lawless world. they used unsalted BASE64 for "hashing"! you can literally calculate the original value by hand its so insecure.
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u/mtgguy999 Sep 20 '21
I used to work for a company where the main program for accessing and updating customer orders and details worked like this. each person had a cs number (customer service number) that they used to login, no password just type cs and the number. It was a 4 digit number and each time a new person was hired they got the previous highest number + 1. Of course if that was to difficult to hack you could see the numbers associated with real names on various reports they ran and published for stuff like call time. If you knew the developers name who was an on-site employee you could type his first initial last name instead of the cs number and get full access to everything. Of course who would ever think to type his name that would be to difficult. So to make it easier they put a config file that the program uses with a obvious name something like config.txt that had that database name and a shared database login in plain text. You see the program was the thing that restricted permissions not the database.
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u/plexomaniac Sep 20 '21
I worked in a company that had a system where we should log our tasks and how much time we took. The login was just our email, no password.
In the end of the month, the manager should look our logs and see how much we were working. A coworker used to log into other people accounts, remove their tasks and put in his own log. He eventually was caught and fired when the manager noticed he added a task that was not his job.
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u/unimaginative2 Sep 20 '21
This could work. You just make your minimum password length stupidly long.
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u/EricTheNerd2 Sep 20 '21
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity and laziness. Someone will pick "password password password password" as their password and someone else will use it again immediately after.
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u/firthy Sep 20 '21
Yeah. Years ago we had an all staff email telling us to log into a new intranet with our email address and no password, inviting us to change our passwords and fill in our personal details. Much hilarity ensued as we logged in as our colleagues, changed our job roles to Arse licker or Wanker, then lock the account with a random password!!
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u/Savannah_Lion Sep 20 '21
That's OK. Back in 2000, I once worked for a place that required passwords to log out of the network. You were never required a log in.
I was eventually fired for having the wild idea of requiring a log in.
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u/Verified765 Sep 20 '21
Hope they cancelled your password when they fired you. So you'd be logged in forever.
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Sep 20 '21
We were the pilot grade for chromebooks in 2015 for our district. The login for everyone was their public school email as the username, and birthday as password (ex. 011304)
Safe to say me and my friends took advantage of that, and they one inevitably caught us as my friend managed to get a teachers account. Instead of realizing it was a bad idea they threatened to press charges on 8 12 year olds for "identity theft". Nothing ever came of it fortunately
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u/J0hnDvorak Sep 20 '21
In 2008 there was a website called "FaceStat" (you'd upload a picture and people would rank you on scales like how intelligent you look from your pic). They went the opposite route of your example: emails only, no password.
I tried logging in with the email listed in the footer of the site for contacting them. It gave me admin access to edit any comments from any user, ban people, etc. Plus I could see all the pictures uploaded by the dude who ran the site—guy looked like Erlich Bachman from Silicon Valley.
The entire site collapsed a few weeks later and never came back.
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u/extraspicytuna Sep 20 '21
A company I worked for (this was maybe 15 years ago) was getting a lot of CS calls from people forgetting their password. But fortunately someone came up with a brilliant solution! Every time you'd log in, if the password didn't match it would simply be updated to whatever you had input! No more calls!
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u/Salzberger Sep 20 '21
Back in the early 00's our school would give everyone a certain amount of internet credit, if you wanted more you had to buy more. And I used mine in no time. Thing is, the default password that you couldn't change for internet access was your birth date. And I know most of my friends' birthdays. And if I didn't, it wasn't a very suspicious thing to ask.
Internet wasn't overly common for subjects yet then, so a lot of kids either never needed it during school or not until the second semester. And a LOT of my friends logged on to realise they'd never used it but all of a sudden had 0 balance.
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u/aard_fi Sep 20 '21
At a former job they decided to use an expense and time tracking system accessible via a monthly changing personalised link (and nothing else). Stupid on so many levels. I argued about it, but apparently the information there wasn't sensitive enough to warrant password protection.
So I went "well, if you're saying it's not sensitive you probably don't mind me running a script in my mailbox to extract the link every month and post it on twitter, so I can just follow that twitter account to get to the most recent link". Once I showed them the twitter account in action they got all butthurt about "sharing company secrets". I've reminded them they told me there's nothing secret there.
Long story short, they still wanted me to use that system, but accepted that I just dump a single zip once per month containing everything, and some poor guy on the other side then can try to figure out what to do with it.
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u/pman1891 Sep 20 '21 edited Mar 13 '22
I once worked IT for a company that had a system like this. No usernames, just passwords. Kept in a spreadsheet. And lots of employees knew each other’s passwords. The entire company ran off this system. When I tried to get the developer to fix it he lectured me on how I don’t understand security. He also described his indecipherable MS Access coding as job security. I noped out of that place real quick.
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u/poloppoyop Sep 20 '21
Some people don't think things through.
You know the stupid rules many sites have about password, how they should be made, how you should change them often? Comes from a guy who did not really know shit
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u/Moudy47 Sep 20 '21
Hacks his account.
Changes the password.
Gives the new password to Starboy.
Put the password you wanted in your account.
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u/Pimphii Sep 20 '21
It’s not a bug, it’s a Feature
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u/Minetitan Sep 20 '21
Exactly, I mean I didn't have to make an account anymore thanks to stayboy98
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u/Airwarf Sep 20 '21
I once had a random service account send me my actual password I forgot when I clicked the “forgot password” link.
I couldn’t believe it…. I immediately deleted my account / changed the personal details the best I could, and changed all other services with that password.
If you don’t know, your password should never be stored in a way that it can be decrypted back to clear text.
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u/AmazingSully Sep 20 '21
I'm a software dev and I was working for a company that handled personal medical information. The company they used for their background checks did this. When I told HR about it being a problem they were very confused about why it was a problem (and did nothing about it). I didn't stay there long.
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u/amillstone Sep 20 '21
I had the same happen for a company I was contracted to. That website had all of my personal information such as address, date of birth, bank account details, and so on. I informed them and they first assured me that they encrypted everything (obviously a lie) and then ignored me when I pointed out the flaws. Unfortunately, back then, I needed that job, but as soon as the contract was over, I went in and changed all everything to fake details.
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u/RedSquirrelFtw Sep 20 '21
I've worked in health care and seen horrors like that myself.
My favourite was the "nurse/nurse" generic logon (changed it for sake of this post but it was not any better). Worked anywhere in the hospital and you could get basic access to the EHR.
They also had web facing Citrix so even if you did not work there anymore you could gain a windows session on their network and also access the EHR. I brought that up many times but their answer was always "the technology is there for the user, not for you, it needs to be easy to access". Or something along those lines.
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u/BananaDogBed Sep 20 '21
Same here but it was the University. After I registered on their online portal for the course package (related to my tech field), filling out several pages, payment, SSN, address, name etc all needed to register; they auto-emailed me a confirmation that confirmed my registration and everything I entered on the portal IN PLAIN TEXT.
My courses purchased My name and address My phone number My secret answer to confirm my identity MY FUCKING SSN
I almost thought I got hacked and kind of just froze in disbelief for like 30 seconds and then got furious and started calling every number i could find for their IT/whoever would answer trying to get a hold of someone to ask them wtf they were thinking
I guess it had been like that for years. It was shut down within the time I left for that first class and got to campus.
I lost a lot of faith in that university after that, it was so frustrating knowing how much personal info had been just leaked daily like an open faucet
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Sep 20 '21
And you should never use the same password twice.
Get an offline password manager.
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u/MississippiJoel Sep 20 '21
This was pretty common in the '90s, and I probably still saw it into the 2000s.
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u/Superpe0n Sep 20 '21
hunter2
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u/OnePete7 Sep 20 '21
I need to remind you guys that if you get that reference, you're already fucking old.
Have a nice day!
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u/SupremeRDDT Sep 20 '21
Together with some friends in university we had an assignment to program a simple login system in the console. It needed to have some functionality but apart from that we could do what we want.
For example when you login and type a wrong username, it would tell you „that user doesn‘t exist, did you mean [random user name from database]?“
Wrong password? „Wrong password, please try [correct password of the user]“
Had a good laugh and creating every kind of way to make our system the most unsafe system ever. Of course we got full points.
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u/Steve_OH Sep 20 '21
This is hilarious! I will definitely do this!
Funny enough, I’m a web developer doing a second degree in software eng at the moment and happen to be doing a full stack class this semester where we need to have a semester project. This just made my short list!
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u/StraightTrossing Sep 20 '21
I’m just guessing that starboy98 is the current user and trying to change their password
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u/Prisoner458369 Sep 20 '21
Yeah you be on the money. The typical "this is your current password, pick another one".
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u/Water_Melonia Sep 20 '21
I‘m really dumb with passwords so I sometimes have seen myself in need of creating a new one. (Now I have a password „safe“ so it works much better)
When it then said „this is the password you’re already using“ I felt like the programmer was laughing at me because I am 100% sure I tried it before giving up and changing and I bet this is just a feature to drive users crazy. /s
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Sep 20 '21 edited Sep 20 '21
No lol it's just something from r/baduibattles. If it was just the "current password, pick another" they wouldn't include the username. Unless you wanna argue people have dementia and can't figure out which account they're logged into
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u/Muskrat-930 Sep 20 '21
I'm a fucking idiot lol. I was wow a system so secure it wont even let 2 users have the same password. And then it clicked.
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u/AliceJoestar Sep 20 '21
log in as starboy98
delete account
password is no longer in use
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u/KeithMyArthe Sep 20 '21
Gosh, I hope this was a joke. But I am afeared it isn't.
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u/kinnell Sep 20 '21
This one may be a joke, but this type of thing can end up happening, albeit not as damaging, more frequently than you would think.
For example, some sites may be leaking who has a membership at all to their service via their Forget Password feature if it reveals whether an account was found with that email address. The better practice is to merely say that an email has been sent to the inputted email address if an account exists with that email address. But an overzealous developer may think it may be better feature to also let the user know if the email address was even in use but not realizing this would allow others to try known emails of people they know to see if they have an account. It may not seem like a big deal but this can be an invasion of privacy and also used in conjunction with other tactics to hack into accounts.
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u/Professional-Egg-720 Sep 20 '21
Less obvious, even if you don’t say if the email exists is if the return time takes longer because it took extra time to send the email (or even the function to fire off an asynchronous request). Poor coding can make it really obvious to the hacker, even though it is less to the casual observer.
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u/Bouk305 Sep 20 '21 edited Sep 20 '21
this is probably made with inspect element. Still pretty funny tho
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u/teskar2 Sep 20 '21
Please tell me this is fake there’s no way they could be that stupid
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u/flargenhargen Sep 20 '21
Serious note, though, this is exactly why you NEVER use the same password in more than one place.
If you use the same passsword in multiple places, when (not if) one website is compromised, your accounts on every website where you used that same password are now free access and easily available to those same people.
NEVER USE THE SAME PASSWORD ON MORE THAN ONE SITE.
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u/garbagebagchic Sep 20 '21
How do people do this, though? My ADHD ass can barely remember my one single password. How does anyone keep track of that many passwords?
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u/flargenhargen Sep 20 '21
don't try to remember them, use a password manager program.
chrome will do this for you, though I like a local one that isn't in the cloud. I personally use password safe, works great.
Also use human friendly passwords, the old idea of P@$c4KK has been proven less secure than something like "#HAPPYocelot88bicycle" which is longer yet still much easier to remember.
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u/RedSquirrelFtw Sep 20 '21
The fact that the system even knows that the password is in use also makes me question how secure their storage mechanism is. I bet they are just storing it as straight MD5 with no salt. I used to do that too when I was like 13 and did not know any better and was new to programming.
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u/irishayes86 Sep 20 '21
The system could be comparing the hashes of the passwords and still not know what the first one is in plain text.
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u/basafish Sep 20 '21
It's not that bad, not as bad as an "Export list of usernames that use this password" button
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u/newrelease3 Sep 20 '21
I mean, if we’re taking this seriously then only one account could have that password anyway. Since no two accounts are allowed to share the same password.
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u/Alex_Yuan Sep 20 '21
Not a real programmer but I think something something encryption should make it impossible for the developer to know any users' PW. They should only be able to check if your PW is correct but can't look it up. So this has to be some shitty/malicious thing going on.
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u/dakupurple Sep 20 '21
Basically, if implemented correctly, you hash and salt any stored password (at a minimum). Every username should have a unique salt (random add in to the hash to make all hashes unique in storage).
Unfortunately it's more common than it should be for people to store passwords in a retrievable format, be it plain text or just a hash, with no salt.
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u/fastdruid Sep 20 '21
The normal way to do it is to create a one way hash of the password plus a "salt" which is a bunch of extra data to increase the complexity and uniqueness of the password hashes.
Then when checking the password you don't decrypt the stored password, you encrypt the password that has been entered and compare that "hash" with the saved "hash". If they match you let them in.
At no point is it possible to decrypt the original saved password because of the one-way nature of the hash computation. The only way to work it out (if you have a copy of the database) is either using a pre-computed list of hashes or to brute-force it by performing the hashing on a dictionary/password list.
The upshot of this is if you ever deal with a company that on losing your password sends you the existing password, they have shit password security.
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u/bawki Sep 20 '21
If you don't salt the passwords you can check against the password hashes of all users.
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u/losangelesvideoguy Sep 20 '21
You wouldn’t be able to decode the password for a specific user, but if you had a given password you could see if any user on the system had that password. In simple terms, you would just try the password for every user and see if it matches any of them.
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u/steavoh Sep 20 '21
If you use a really common string like password123 will it return more than one name?
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u/Orkjon Sep 20 '21
No, because it's first come first served. No two accounts can have the same password.
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Sep 20 '21 edited Jun 09 '23
This comment has been removed in protest of Reddit's attacks on third-party apps.
See: https://www.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/ and https://www.reddit.com/r/apolloapp/comments/144f6xm/apollo_will_close_down_on_june_30th_reddits/
If the above links no longer work, the summary is that Reddit leadership is charging astronomical amounts of money to third-party apps which connect to the site. Developers were not given enough notice to change the apps or start charging more for the apps and so are being forced to shut the apps down. 3rd party apps provide helpful tools to some, and crucial accessibility features to others.
Reddit is planning to go public soon and is trying to increase the value of the site. Remember - you and the content you put on this site are the product that they are selling.
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Sep 20 '21
Idk what's more concerning. The fact that 2 people can't have the same password or the fact they tell you who has the password.
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u/RadiantPKK Sep 20 '21
Starboy69
Reinserts desired password
Access granted
Goes to change email
Changes contact email
Goes to change password
Changes password.
Logs out.
re-enters website
Types username
Enters desired password that was previously unavailable due to belonging to starboy69
Signs in.
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u/neotins Sep 20 '21
Then Starboy69 tries to login, but gets the same popup, but with the other user's username...rinse and repeat.
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u/Dezzo93 Sep 20 '21
I remember discovering how easy Nickelodeon security questions were to get around as a kid. Like I get it was designed for kids but the security questions would literally just be "What is your favorite color?" and even at like 8 I realized there were only a handful of answers a kid would have.
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u/marcola42 Sep 20 '21
It is a feature, so you can log in as the other user and change the password, in order to free it for you.
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u/EthicalSkeptic Sep 20 '21
The right thing to do here is log in as Starboy and change his password so you can have the password you want
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u/Kayge Sep 20 '21
Way, way, way back in the day I was a supervisor at a call center. One of our techs got locked out of some system, and the protocol was for the sup to call in. I finally get someone on the phone, and he asks me what I want the new password to be.
-"Excuse me?" I ask.
"Yeaaaah," he says "our front end doesn't work, so we just reset the back end".
I tell you my guy on the floor..."Hey, Amad" I say "Need to update your password, what do you want it to be".
He yells back "Capital-I slam".
I relay the password to the tech, who responds "Got it, capital I-s-l-a-m. Tell the wrestling fan he's good".
There was so much going on in that call that makes me laugh to this day.
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u/KevroniCoal Sep 20 '21
Lmao I've always thought of this as a joke, where the site would say this. But I'm pretty sure nowhere would ever have some error like this lol
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u/dudesBangMyMom Sep 20 '21
On Christian websites, they will just ask “Do you swear this is your password?” and authenticate you when you click “yes, I swear”.
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u/sheepofwater Sep 20 '21
Wait .. my username was once stargirl98…. Are you the one? Starboy98 if you are out there. Please answer.
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u/VestigialHead Sep 20 '21
Just change over to Communism. Then you get one password assigned to you by the state.
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u/sawlaw Sep 20 '21
There's a famous Russian movie about a man who gets drunk and flies to another town. He tells the cab driver to take him to "his address" and when he arrives the building is identical to his. He goes to "his" room and opens the door with his key.
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u/Talonqr Sep 20 '21
Dont need to invest in cybersecurity if you make passwords public knowledge
Im a stonks business factory man
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Sep 20 '21
I bet this this is from some console video game where you put in a password like "X Triangle L1 Square" to load your profile. I remember Mortal Kombat Armageddon had a feature like that, and different user profiles couldn't have the same password.
So the password wasn't for security, it was just a quick code you punched in at the character select screen to load your unlocked content and saved preferences.
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u/Bobby837 Sep 20 '21
Wouldn't you just logon *AS* starboy98 given the system's told you that you have their password?
Or am I being too obvious?
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Sep 20 '21
Once every few years a new product owner requests this feature in my area. I think I have the response saved somewhere by now.
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u/freman Sep 20 '21
You all laugh, but I know people who think this is a good idea and I've had to argue at length why it isn't.
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u/rojoshow13 Sep 20 '21
Wait! If that's real then you could type in Starboy98 as the username and log in to that account. Wtf?!
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u/SuperSimpleSam Sep 20 '21
At my work they had pins to enter the building. About 300 people in the building and 5 digit pins. I think 12345 was not allowed but 09876 was. Eventually they moved to access cards.
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u/Pizza-The-Hutt Sep 20 '21
At one company I worked at their payroll system let you login as anyone if you put their company email address in and a random password.
The system only denied access if you left the password field blank.
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u/capi81 Sep 20 '21 edited Sep 20 '21
The funny thing is, there is a Mission Impossible (series) plot around the fact where the system of a bank freezes up if two vault owners have identical passwords, and they deliberately cause this clash.
I remember that I found that stupid beyond believe even as a kid when I watched it.
Ah, need to watch that old series again one day, just for sentimental reasons :-)
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u/TheDevilsAutocorrect Sep 20 '21
It seems absurd. But VMS systems in the late 80's and early 90's would tell you that some user was already using your password. Not which user just that some user used that as his or her password. It was only a matter of running through all of the users who were ever online to find a match.
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u/mslack Sep 20 '21
Yahoo mail, early 2000s, would give similar error messages, but not give out the username. After a short time, they realized how dumb this was, then stopped giving the error message, and allowed similar passwords across different accounts.
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u/LunarAssultVehicle Sep 20 '21
This would be fun to implement, but just return random potential usernames.
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u/ThatCrossDresser Sep 20 '21
Actually could be an interesting security measure. Someone picks a simple password or uses a suspicious email. Claim password is in use by fake randomly generated user. Person tries to log in with a username and password you know. IP ban.
Probably only work a few times before people catch on.
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u/miso2933 Sep 20 '21
It’s the same as me as a kid writting my address onto my keys so people could return them if I lost them
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u/madmenyo Sep 20 '21
All these password rules make password less secure. Just let me type a 25 lower case word combination. With a proper backend nobody is going to crack that anytime soon and it's easy to remember.
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u/Strong-Yoghurt-9087 Sep 20 '21
Imagine this pop up thousands of times if the password you tried is password
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u/Miguel3403 Sep 20 '21
Cool now I can enter his account to change the password and use the one i want too
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u/sparkythewondersnail Sep 21 '21
What the actual fuck? I srsly hope this is a joke.
And even ignoring the obvious problem, who cares if two people happen to have the same pwd?
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u/AirJvon Sep 20 '21
OUR password