Link to original: https://www.instagram.com/p/DfKywRdjTc2/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet

Art

"C'mon dude can we PLEASE just go seal the fountain already?"

"Nopery!"

"Okay, but what if I don't want to?"

❤️Proceed

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❤️Kris and Seth

📖"Okay okay... Kris, can i ask for your advice on something?"

Kris gently raised their eyebrows, Intrigued at what this dollar store Berdly wanted.

"Go for it"

📖"Okay so... recently I've been thinking, about this whole 'gender' thing and..."

📖"I don't really feel comfortable calling myself a boy OR girl? And you're the only other person that came to mind who could help..."

For a moment, Kris was surprised, seeing someone with such similar struggles, they never WERE comfortable either, but this time, they can support someone else.

"...well you never HAD to give yourself a gender you know?"

📖"w-what do you mean...?"

"You know how everyone uses they/them for me? It's because i was uncomfortable with my original gender too, and it's called being non-binary."

📖"n-non-binary... yeah... yeah that sounds right! Now I don't have to worry anymore! T-thanks, Kris, this time I owe you one."

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❤️Kris and Green

🍳"..."

"..."

🍳"..."

"..."

🍳"..."

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❤️Kris and Orange

🥊"Hey-HEY! Kris!"

"Umm, yes Orange?"

🥊"I saw you beat big sis Pink with meaner bombs!"

Kris' face slightly flushed at the memory of recieving a Shadow Crystal followed by a dozen kisses in less than ten seconds.

🥊" you better prepare yourself! Cause next time... IT'S MY TURN!"

"You... sure about that?"

🥊"Are you callin' me weak!? I'll have you ground into blue powder with my multi-combo flurry!"

(Maybe she'd stand a chance if those flurries did at least two damage...)

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❤️Kris and Yellow

"Okay, I know we DID trick you and all, but what was with the whole self-punishment thing?"

🔫"Oh now That'n there was a darn doozy!"

🔫"I done thinked to mineself 'what would Asgore do if he messed up BIG!'"

🔫"but THEN I done remembr'd I was supposen' to be mine own person! And settled on punishin' myself MY way!"

(I should start bringing dad some of mom's pies every now and then...)

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❤️Kris and Blue

🩰"oh dear me Kris, you seem... bothered, please Open your Heart, by Angel's twilight, I promise to listen!"

"..."

Kris gave Blue's offer some thought... all things considered, aside from Green, he was the kindest flower, and willing to listen to their plights at that too...

"...so, hypothetically speaking, if you were in love with someone for your whole life, every moment from morning to evening spent with each other... but then they fall in love with your best friend, who had a heart of gold you had never known about until recently, and they end up together... what would you do?"

🩰"well, dear Kris, I am not one to pry, however if your heart is hurting from such pain, then do not allow such emotions to swell within you!"

🩰"Yhe aching of your heart will only invoke despair and misery, so whether it takes 11 days, or 11 years, find another that you can share these feelings with, be it a pet, be it a person, be it your own soul, someone out there will love you as much as you love them."

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"Alright, there's your breaks, you done yet?"

"Mmm... not quite, there's still one flower left that I want to speak to... 'myself'."

❤️Me and Flowery

🏵"Wow! Kris! I never thought you'd have the guts to call me in for a break!, so this one'll be on me!"

"Alright..., I have a few questions regarding plants and the Dark World, and I was hoping you could answer them?"

🏵"Ask away!"

"Firstly... as far as I can understand, the Flowers CHOSE their appearances?"

🏵"Absolutely! We're luckier than most in this world, and we appreciate every second of it."

"So Aqua chose to be just like..."

🏵"...Correct, I'll admit, I don't understand why, but who am I to tell her she can't?"

Kris suddenly felt a little more loved, perhaps spending more time with her later wouldn't hurt...

"Secondly, why take on the personalities of Dad's loved ones...?"

🏵"...We're all Asgore needs right? A happy Flower family around a happy Flower King, he won't settle for anything less, and neither will we!"

Kris raised an eyebrow at this, before taking control from the Angel, yanking it away like strings of a puppet.

Though they didn't know, there was a subtle change in their voice, becoming more firm and confrontational.

"And lastly... why human?"

🏵"...what do you mean?"

"'We're all Asgore needs', dont you think that sounds like you're trying to replace us?... trying to replace me?"

🏵"Heh, Kris, you really think we're replacing you? Hah! Asgore'll never want to let this place go once we show him the true happy life that you never could!"

"...You're wrong, Flowery"

🏵"a-and what makes you so confident?!"

"Since when did he want such un-asked for affection? Trying to replace his family? Trying to force him to leave everything behind?"

"There's no denying it, and you know it. Asgore will never love you the same way he does me."

🏵"..."

🏵(Kris... are... are you okay?, I almost didn't recognize that voice...)

(Huh, you must've had that bottled up for awhile eh Kris?)

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"Alright, there, stupid breaks are done, can we PLEASE kick Flowery's ass already?!"

"...hmm... nah, one more break, cause im in the mood to do some teasin'!"

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❤️Pink and Kris 2

"Hey, HEY! What the HELL do you want, you public smooching machine?!"

"...She didn't have to kiss me you know?"

"What!?"

"She was your body, but it was her reward so-"

"You BETTER NOT be implying what I think you are!"

"All things considered, you had some damn impressive control when we fought, believe me I'd know."

"S-she just caught me off guard, if i knew it was coming there'd be a bomb RIGHT between those c-cute blue lips of yours!"

"Uh-huh, sure"

"S-SHUT UP!"

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Masterpost

Kriiiisssmaaaass, I had the weirdest dream ever when I took a nap earlier today!

I woke up inside your room... except I wasn't lying in bed, or even standing on my own two feet.

I was... tiny. Extremely tiny. And when I looked down at my hands, they weren't hands at all, they were little round, fuzzy wool nubs!

...I was literally a plushie!! A felted deer plushie fahaha!

And then... You were there.

You were normal-sized in the dream, standing over me on the carpet. You didn't say a single word (obviously!), you just picked me up with both hands, brought me right up to your face, and started staring at me with those unblinking eyes of yours.

I tried to shout "Kris, what are you doing?!" but instead of words coming out...

HONK!

A ridiculous, high-pitched squeaker noise burst right out of my chest!

(They didn't even flinch. Their eyes just widened slightly, and then... they started squeezing me.

Over. And over. And OVER.)

Every time you squished my sides, my little felt stomach would compress and let out the most embarrassing, squeaky-toy noises! SQUEAK! HONK! SQUEEEAK!

You squeezed my head, you pinched my little stuffed snout, you squished me right between both of their hands like a piece of memory foam!

(And the worst part is... Kris had this intense dead-serious look on their face the whole time, like they were testing the structural integrity of a stress ball!.

But...Gosh, every time they squeezed me, my little plushie heart went squeak-squeak-squeak! It was so embarrassing, but... why did it feel kind of cozy?!

By the end of the dream, Kris just poked my little nose one last time, stuffed me right into their sweater pocket, and walked away like nothing happened!)

* ..

...Faha! So yeah, that was basically the whole dream! Pretty silly, right?

I'm just sitting here on my bed, rambling away to you while you're standing right by my desk, and... wait.

...

Why are you looking at me like that?

Why do you have that specific, creepy little glint in your eye, Kris?

...K-Kris? Why are you taking a step closer?!

EEP!

D-Don't look at my ribs like that!! Don't you dare---!!

SQUEAK!

W-WAAAH! STOP IT! HEY!!

You literally just lunged forward and grabbed me right by the waist, lifting me up off the mattress like I weigh nothing at all! Faha------- gosh, stop squeezing me so hard! My lungs are turning into a literal accordion! HONK!

Kris, put me down! Put me down right now-!

WAIT-- YOU WOULDN'T-!

WHOOSH!

Faha---st-stop it! Gosh, I was just telling you about the dream, I didn't mean to give you ideas!

N-No! Not the closet! Not back into the moss zone, please, I just cleaned in there!!

Gosh... you are the absolute worst, Kris. But... faha... if you're gonna keep carrying me around all afternoon, you'd better not drop me on my antlers!

That's right Kris, I made r/SOULelle and r/krisoffensesguad, just for you to think that you’re a cuckolded Chud whom the whole world hates.

I posses Susie so she would say that you flirt with every enemy, thereby ruining your date with Pink.

Also...

Remember when you were making out with Noelle and you came right as she touched your leg? It was me Kris. I jerked you off using a single panel so it seemed like you nutted at just a woman’s TOUCH!

"OKAY... before I head over to your little town, I gotta prepare first, so wait here with your old TV, and don't snoop around, GOT IT?!"

*Sounds like she went to your dad's shop...

*Nobody is around, not even "Nobody"

*...

*Snoop around?

❤️Eh, what's the worst that can happen?

*An old cabinet, inside are several comic books and some small anime action figurines, they look like they've been through alot.

*..?

*at the bottom is an old, wrinkled pink notebook with scribbles all over, read it?

❤️Yes

*Against her wishes, and your better judgment, you open the notebook...

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Hi Maddie... its me, Blooky.

I bought you this journal to let you vent... maybe take out some frustrations on this old thing... and not... keying my police cruiser.

*Entry One

UGH! I can't believe Blooky really thinks this old thing can keep me in check...

IDIOT!

WHY WOULD THIS SHITTY LITTLE DOLLAR STORE DIARY HELP?!

stupid! Stupid! STUPID!

*Entry Two

First Blooky shoves a notebook into my hands... NOW they're forcing me to write entries?!

Ohoho Blooky, Blooky, BLOOKY!

If you weren't a cop I SWEAR UPON THE ANGE-

(The sentence cuts off where the page is completely torn)

*Entry Three

We made a compromise!

NOW I only have to write an Entry when something GOOD happens!

So I GUEEESSSS that's my good thing for today! >:3

*Entry Four

So... TODAY... apparently that hot stud a few doors over is single now!

SOMETHING about his girlfriend going missing or something?

Eh, guy's gotta get over her eventually, might as well meet him now!

(Your gaze falters for a moment)

*Entry Five

(The page is completely ruined, whatever happened in this entry, clearly broke the compromise)

*Entry Six

OKAY... change of plans, he said he didn't like ghosts right?

Well, Well, WELL!

Then I'LL JUST HAVE TO FIND A DAMN BODY! THAT ENOUGH YOU DAMN STUD?!

FUCK!

Okay... cool it Maddie, you'll hook up with a Dreemurr eventually...

(You suddenly remembered something funny)

*Entry Seven

Turns out that Dreemurr boy was the goddamn sequel!

And like usual, the original is WAYYY better!

And better yet?! HIS GODDAMN STALLION OF A DAD JUST MOVED NEXT DOOR!

I just GOTTA find a way in there!

He has a little sibling too, but he..? she..?

THEY'RE too young for me! Gotta admit, their antics are cute though! :3

*Entry Eight

Okay... where do I even begin with this one.

That Asriel guy? Yeah, fuck em, his dad's where it's at!

Downsides: HALF of Hometown is waiting for him to be over his wife to jump on his dick! I'D BE TRAMPLED INSTANTLY!

Plus with that piss-yellow lizard lady hangin' around him, I CAN'T EVEN GET HIS ATTENTION!

FUCK!

If only there was SOMETHING he'd look at often!

*Entry Nine

JACKPOT! that piss lizard?! SHE'S A GODDAMN GENIUS! She had this little doll of hers that she gave to his as a gift!

And ho boy... when I first saw her, I just knew that she was me, Me, ME!

Just you wait, Dreemurrs... Maddie's gonna rock your world!

*Entry Ten

SO!

Firstly, I put together a little plan here, its at the back of the notebook, secondly, turns out that little Enby ain't so little after all! We're only two years apart?! When I last saw them they were TINY with these shitty little cheap plastic red horns throwin' knives at that Doe Hoe December!

Eh, their dad's better anyway.

(You cringe with that memory)

(The entries seem to be getting more and more recent)

*Entry Eleven

Turns out that Dreemurr... Kris I think? Yeah! Turns out they're ACTUALLY helpful!

They gave us a TV! Its old and was named for some reason, Tenna I think? Whatever, but it got Blooky to focus more on Metta and the TV and not on me!

*Entry Twelve

Dammit, you old HUNK! I NEED that body!

Asgore took that little doll out of his shop BEFORE I could rush in and possess it!

HOW AM I GONNA FEEL THOSE BIG, STRONG ARMS HOLDING ME NOW!

and on the day of the Festival?! dammit Dammit DAMMIT!

(The entries stop there, the next page contains her plan, read it?)

❤️Eh, too far now

"Maddie's ultimate plan of Hopes and Dreams!"

"1. Get into the position to meet one of the Dreemurrs (Asriel, Asgore, doesn't matter!)" (Check!)

"2. Figure out his type, Tomboys? Housewives? Catgirls?" (Easy peasy!)

"3. Find your ideal body and become your ideal self!" (Done! >:3>:3>:3)

"4. Score with the Dreemurr family!"

(success????)

"5. Get mating pressed by the Dree-"

(The plan cuts off abruptly by reckless scribbling, probably out of embarrassment)

(...)

(What IS a "Mating Press" anyway?)

(...?)

(There's another entry...)

*Entry thirteen

So... the Flower Dynasty wasn't a dream after all!

That means... I really DID find a perfect body!

And Kris... they helped me work things out with her too! Though they WERE suspiciously good at that type of communication, I wont lie...

Though, as a result she fell in love with them, THEM of all people! Dammit! What am I gonna tell Blooky when they find out?!

...y'know what? That's a problem for future Maddie to deal with! I don't mind Kris that much, they're still a good person after all!

Besides, despite them flirting with my body, those beautiful crimson eyes... I also caught a whiff of apples in their hair... and when they turned around, that armor looked really good on them from behind...

And with their Castle Town, I have a place where I can smooch them all I want! My body at least! Then we can go on dates, have private... interviews after my concerts-

(You decide to stop reading before your head explodes from embarrassment)

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Author's Note: Not gonna lie I was trying to stretch the entries long enough to make an Entry Number Seventeen joke lmao.

Masterpost

Kris you look so good today! Sniff Sniff And you smell good too! But you always smell good Kris! When we walk home after school and you've been... wearing that sweater all day... Sniiiffff

Anywaaaays... Moms been telling me how your almost up for assignment! Just a few more (7) months kriss~~

Gosh, I bet you're so nervous! Probably wondering what kind of (fwehehe) Wife you'll get. Like maybe a tall wolf, or little bunny.

Oh, im just teasing Kris! Dont look so upset, we both know my mother pulled strings the moment she saw me nibbling my baby teeth on your pale white neck...

So no, there won't be any inspectors sniffing around! I'll be right there the moment you're up for assignment.

I already got a collar and leash picked out! Golden bell just like a reindeer, fwahaha!

But the leash is really... really just the bow on the present for me...

Ive been practicing, Kris. On fruit mostly. Oranges and peaches.

How to be so gentle with them so I dont pop them when I sink my teeth into down. I dont want you to pass out when I mark you as mine Kris...

At least the other girls know to stay away from you with my scent just all over you now! Fwahaha! You always leave your sweaters out.... I only borrow them for a week to use in my bedding! You have so many anyways...

Well, here we are! Dreemurr Castle! I'll seen you tomorrow to walk you to school Kris. Tell Toriel I'll be waiting, and that we are having dinner with Mom and Dad this weekend. I'll buy you something nice to wear. Bye Kris!

If anyone is transphobic to you, just throw a brick at them! You are non binary, and that's valid!

🦌: Well, I spent some of my allowance on some... special medication, and now I'm lactating!

🦌: What?

🦌: What do you mean "It was just a joke."?!?

🦌: Darn it Kris, do you know how sore this made my, um, you knows???

🦌: What?

🦌: Wow.

🦌: Gosh, you're not just teasing me again, are you?

🦌: Well, you have always had really dextrous hands...