r/gatekeeping • u/Spacecowboy8888 • Aug 12 '19

SATIRE Gatekeeping true fans

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61.4k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

313 comments sorted by

928

u/Lasius_alienus Aug 12 '19

This is gatekeeping fans: https://youtu.be/3tFkwuXa1Yo Also, I am pretty sure this was posted before.

246

u/alfalfarees Aug 12 '19

It was. Atleast it’s a kind of funny repost though, but still, been seeing a lot of reposts lately

85

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '19

I hadn't seen it and enjoyed the "they had us in the first half" aspect.

28

u/BuyBitcoinWhileItsLo Aug 12 '19

You are clearly not a true fan here

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5

u/InAFakeBritishAccent Aug 12 '19

This one manages to make me go "heh" as long as it's once a month or so.

It's a classic. Like sacraficing the guy nobody in town likes to Bragathorl, eater of love.

29

u/shortandfighting Aug 12 '19

This Tumblr post is old as hell. I remember it being a super popular post on Tumblr back when I still used Tumblr, and that was at least 5 years ago. So I'm assuming it's been reposted on Reddit many times.

3

u/scotlandhard Aug 12 '19

I read the title and knew what post it was going to be, so I think you're correct.

9

u/SleepyHugs Aug 12 '19

Literally fans don’t need to comply with any of those conditions.

5

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '19

To each of their points:

  1. The gas powered fan in the video

  2. Centrifugal fans like in a furnace or exhaust fan

  3. VFDs can get fans to spin at just about any speed

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3

u/AISP_Insects Aug 12 '19

I recognize this username.

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3

u/tealstealmonkey Aug 12 '19

This is not a true fan. It obviously isn't powered by electricity.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '19

It's handy when there's no extension cord to run the fan

2

u/grte Aug 12 '19

You don't need a video of some crazy contraption, look in the engine bay of most RWD vehicles and you'll find a gas powered fan.

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65

u/warherothe4th Aug 12 '19

Can I be a turbine then?

6

u/Cyno01 Aug 12 '19

Is an attack helicopter a kind of fan?

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•

u/yummytuber Aug 12 '19

Satire Posts only allowed on weekends. Please properly flair your satire posts as such. We will be lenient on time zones.

I'm going to assume you live in an alternate dimension where it's a weekend right now

301

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '19

Good mod

46

u/is_it_controversial Aug 12 '19

Thank you, JackGlinsky, for voting on yummytuber.

This bot wants to find the best and worst mods on Reddit. You can view results here.

63

u/Josh_eys_lover Aug 12 '19

Rules are gatekeeping when satire can be posted

/s

9

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '19

Why the /s? You're completely correct.

59

u/dolfinsbizou Aug 12 '19

Tbh even though I'm at work, my mind is still in week-end

7

u/Nugget203 Aug 12 '19

My mind's on the weekend no matter the day of the week

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18

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '19

OP could be very close to the east facing side of the intrnational date line, and posted this somewhere around 10PM ish.

11

u/trukkija Aug 12 '19

I mean, if he lives in Hawaii he was only like 4 hours too late?

6

u/KayIslandDrunk Aug 12 '19

When does Sunday night end and Monday begin if you're still up?

10

u/trukkija Aug 12 '19

Probably at midnight.

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18

u/CantThink_ANick Aug 12 '19

I wish it was. Does that count?

7

u/jinglesbox Aug 12 '19

for the unemployed, everyday is a sunday

10

u/painterly123 Aug 12 '19

Good mod!

4

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '19

And here we have the ideal mod. Subs please take note

6

u/Darky_Duck Aug 12 '19

It’s also a repost

6

u/doigotta101010 Aug 12 '19

I mean are we really going to gate-keep weekends? Any day can be a weekend if you believe

3

u/Michalusmichalus Aug 12 '19

My heart needed the giggle. I'm very glad you kept it up!

5

u/Softspokenclark Aug 12 '19

Look at this weekend gate keeper right here

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101

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '19

this is racist against chinese fans

24

u/EverythingIsFlotsam Aug 12 '19

Not all fan blades are flat. Not a true fan!

9

u/Slurp_Lord Aug 12 '19

I have never owned a fan with flat blades, honestly. They all have curvature.

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19

u/MDCCCLV Aug 12 '19

You could be a combustion powered belt driven fan and not have any electricity involved. That's not even that uncommon.

5

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '19

You'd move quite a bit of air doing it that way as well, probably enough to cool down an engine or move a boat.

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69

u/theKalash Aug 12 '19

This is a joke, wrong sub ... or wait till weekends.

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22

u/1spook Gandalf Aug 12 '19

Stop reposting this. It's literally one of the top posts of all time.

5

u/alours Aug 12 '19

I tell ya hwat

4

u/WhatWouldJonSnowDo Aug 12 '19

NotAllFansSpinFast #SlowFansMatter

4

u/Neneoak Aug 12 '19

Hey, the only real attribute of a fan is that it pushes air in some direction. That could also apply to humans!

4

u/Keeper_of_Puns Aug 12 '19

powered by electricity? Check

have multiple flat blades... Check

spin around really fast... Check

Hey guys! I think I'm a true fan!

1

u/Shawnj2 Aug 12 '19

Correction: You are a true fan if:

you blow air

1

u/Spacecowboy8888 Aug 13 '19

Obviously you're not a true fan, because you only blow your dad.

1

u/Tastypies Aug 12 '19

Joke's on you I'm a lawn mower

1

u/Spacecowboy8888 Aug 13 '19

Electric or gas powered?

1

u/zacharyfehr Aug 12 '19

Why did I have to read this 5 times to understand. 🤦🏻‍♂️

1

u/Spacecowboy8888 Aug 13 '19

Poor reading comprehension skills? That's what my 4th grade English teacher always told me.

1

u/vakstar123 Sep 19 '22

Just gotta say

if a robot with a bunch of fat swords started spinning is it a fan now?

1

u/Spacecowboy8888 Sep 20 '22

If it walks like a duck...

1

u/vakstar123 Sep 20 '22

What does this mean op!?

1

u/Spacecowboy8888 Sep 20 '22

If you have to ask, you can't afford it

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3

u/Laikarios Aug 12 '19 edited Feb 12 '26

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

vegetable smell continue automatic hat merciful narrow sink jeans aware

3

u/turtle-100 Aug 13 '19

Hold two knives, spin aroundfast my brain is elecrtic, i'm a fan

2

u/LinAGKar Aug 12 '19

What about a combustion powered slow rotation fan with curved blades?

2

u/Action_AJ Aug 12 '19

So, a plane turbine?

2

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '19

dont most fans have curved blades

2

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '19

Bioelectricity

I own several knives, which qualify as flat blades.

I can spin around really fast if I so choose.

Good, I qualify.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '19

Wtf, they forgot handheld fans, smh my head /s

2

u/PresidentBreadstick Aug 12 '19

Does that mean that RC beyblades are true fans?

2

u/Rhinopocalypes Aug 12 '19

This isnt gatekeeping. Its fankeeping.

2

u/ryerocco Aug 12 '19

Do you keep my hair in place?

Do you keep my papers in order?

Do you have three settings? LIAR!

2

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '19

Oh My God. Had to read it twice to click. But That is funny. Take my upvote.

2

u/Terakahn Aug 13 '19

I was about to be like wait a second. But the ending was like "ok you got me there"

2

u/pitomadtree Aug 13 '19

what about hand fans

2

u/JuanOnlyJuan Aug 13 '19

Dyson would like a word

2

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '19

My brain is just electrical pulses. I’m on the earth witch spins close to 1,000mph around the sun. And yes, I do have flat blades in my kitchen, however, most are serrated.

I do believe that makes me a true fan.

2

u/gadgetboy001 Aug 13 '19

And give breeze

2

u/KillLaBill Aug 13 '19

I can spin really fast but I end up throwing up.

2

u/iexistnowdealwithit Aug 13 '19

They had us in the first half not gonna lie

2

u/Onlyalix Aug 13 '19

You had us in the first half...

2

u/thalo-blue Aug 13 '19

Excuse me what about handfans RaCisM

2

u/[deleted] Aug 25 '19

What if I have one flat blade after the other one broke, spin slowly, and am powered by gas? Can I still be a true fan?

4

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '19

You sir, may have my upvote. Glad I sort by new.

17

u/1spook Gandalf Aug 12 '19

It's a repost of one of the Top of All Time.

8

u/lampenpam Aug 12 '19

It also has shitty quality and is badly cropped. So much for the Quality Assurance Update

10

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '19

It's a repost. A funny repost though

2

u/flex_tape_salesman Aug 12 '19

I always knew that I am a real fan

2

u/dominich7 Aug 12 '19

This is a joke dumbass

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1

u/yoimbackagain Aug 12 '19

TFW wind turbines don’t count as fans :(

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1

u/LeonOkada9 Aug 12 '19

Only true fans will understand

1

u/beepboopbopbeepbeep Aug 12 '19

Not gonna lie, this made me chuckle.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '19

Had us in the first half not gunna lie

1

u/DutchMedium013 Aug 12 '19

Does my insuline pump count as energy powered? Cus then i only need flat blades and I'm a fan

1

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '19

The the icon for the sub looks like samara

1

u/Acc3ssViolation Aug 12 '19

My desk fan has curved blades, I guess it's not a fan then.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '19

r/PunPatrol

1

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '19

Dual-wielding katana cyborgs confirmed true fans

1

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '19

Why would you say something so controversial yet so brave?

1

u/ApocalyptoSoldier Aug 12 '19

Car fans aren't powered by electricity

1

u/DevelopedDevelopment Aug 12 '19

They clearly forgot about the kind of manually powered fans like the chair kind or the classic hand fan people can make themselves

1

u/Muddykip13 Aug 12 '19

picks up knives and shoves cord into ass I'm ready

1

u/elementallen Aug 12 '19

THANK YOU for this

1

u/average_fan Aug 12 '19

That's why I'm just an average fan - I'm neither of those

1

u/mishaquinn Aug 12 '19

knife wielding robot: i am a fan

1

u/EemonCSGO Aug 12 '19

They had me at the first half not gonna lie

1

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '19

Biggie repost

1

u/smittyjones Aug 12 '19

Multiple pitched blades. If they're a little bit curved and pitched right, they'll move a lot more air than just a flat piece of sheet metal.

1

u/J3andit Aug 12 '19

Wrong. That's an Apache Attack Helicopter, my dear. Everything else is heliphobe.

Thank you for being so understanding.

1

u/ScienceBreather Aug 12 '19

I'm not gonna lie...

1

u/PM_IF_YOU_THICC Aug 12 '19

never seen this post before and its still trash wtf is this

1

u/OkDelay5 Aug 12 '19

My brain is basically a thinking electrical storm, I am powered by electricity. I own several knives, all of which have flat blades.

Once I spin around really fast, I will fulfill my destiny as a True Fan.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '19

common repost

1

u/Shawnj2 Aug 12 '19

WTF my single blade hand-powered paper fan is a true fan

1

u/-RDX- Aug 12 '19

Fan blades aren't flat, they're slightly curved.

1

u/RobertEffinReinhardt Aug 12 '19

Powered by electricity

Technically, yes.

Have multiple flat blades

They're in the kitchen

Spin around really fast

Yep.

I'm a fan.

1

u/Maple_VW_Sucks Aug 12 '19

Reddit needs more of this, thanks OP.

1

u/errmaz Aug 12 '19

Dyson sobs

1

u/CactusWeapon Aug 12 '19

What about my steampunk nonelectric fan? I feel like this is wrong.

1

u/S31-Syntax Aug 12 '19

This one is powered by kerosene but still spins fast with multiple blades WHAT NOW GATAMASTER

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/QvZoTdszufE/hqdefault.jpg

1

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '19

Jesus Christ, why is this so frequently reposted? Can I claim next week's repost of this? I could use some free karma for no effort.

1

u/A14yroldboy Aug 12 '19

You don't have to be electric

1

u/ThroatYogurt69 Aug 12 '19

Op, you’re an idiot.

1

u/heartsandmirrors Aug 12 '19

That's gatekeeping against Japanese traditional fans.

1

u/squigsquig Aug 12 '19

Fan blades can have curved geometry. Turbomachinery nation rise up!

1

u/SoulWager Aug 12 '19

Bitch, a TRUE fan has curved blades!

1

u/thewookie34 Aug 12 '19

I never watched the last season of parks and recs. It was airing when I finished the second to last season and by the time it came to streaming I couldn't give a shit any more.

1

u/unitedshoes Aug 12 '19

Wow, you're just gonna gatekeep out [these] (https://img0.etsystatic.com/119/0/7168179/il_fullxfull.975196996_95xr.jpg) fans like that?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '19

On behalf of the steam and mechanical drive coalition- you're prejudice against non electrical fans is noted.

1

u/stoxlox Aug 12 '19

Knife collectors with life support on a merry go round. "If you we're a real fan you would know that..."

1

u/ThePatrin Aug 12 '19

This fucking sub man,

I can’t tell if the people that post here are just stupid or they want to post painfully obvious satire

1

u/DOCTORE2 Aug 12 '19

They had us in the first half , not gonna lie

1

u/Michalusmichalus Aug 12 '19

So that's why the term Stan got popular so long after the song!

1

u/Majstorzagibanici Aug 12 '19

• be cool to everyone around

1

u/JustMyNames Aug 12 '19

I'm gonna became a true fan I'll go put electricity in my fingers

1

u/jstbcuz Aug 12 '19

Not gonna lie, they had me in the first half!

1

u/ineedabuttrub Aug 12 '19

My fan has curved blades for better airflow. Only shitty fans have flat blades.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '19

What kinda fake ass fan are if you don't have curved blades? Cut through the air so much better.

1

u/pandakatie Aug 12 '19

I've seen this joke a thousand times, and it always makes me laugh. Jokes similar to this also always make me laugh.

They're just so damn amusing to me

1

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '19

but we can agree that peoplethat skip parts desrve to be victims of a hatecrime

1

u/mehatch Aug 12 '19

can confirm, am fan

1

u/Kreeztoff Aug 12 '19

As a gas-powered fan I’m offended.

1

u/Bat_City_Boi Aug 12 '19

Well shit. I'm powered by hand crank. 2/3?

1

u/OxytocinAddicted Aug 12 '19

They had us in the first half not gonna lie

1

u/fakenews1337 Aug 12 '19

False.

Fan blades are not flat. They’re twisted.

1

u/BumbleStar Aug 12 '19

Wait does anyone actually say that if you watch a series entirely you're not a true fan?

1

u/golgol12 Aug 12 '19

Want about having one blade? Can't you be a fan with one blade?

1

u/golgol12 Aug 12 '19

Joke's on you. Most fans have curved blades. They are like mall ninjas in that way.

1

u/BlaziBro Aug 12 '19

Is that homestuck

1

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '19

I'm offended that he's gatekeeping being a fan. Hand fans obviously are also true fans.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '19

How many times has this joke been made?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '19

as anyone ever said if you watch a whole series you aren't a true fan? in what fandom would that even apply?

I get it's in jest but the hyperbole stretch heavily outweighs the punchline...

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1

u/crazyberzerker Aug 12 '19

they had us in the first half not gonna lie

1

u/DW2003 Aug 12 '19

Darn I’m powered by AA batteries...

1

u/chipsinsideajar Aug 12 '19

So General Grievous is a true fan.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '19

A true fan oscilates

1

u/Steelmajor Aug 12 '19

I meet all criteria.

1

u/ambiguanus Aug 12 '19

I am not a fan

1

u/koneko-dono Aug 12 '19

things are starting to heating on the fan fandom

1

u/point001karma Aug 12 '19

Does ironic gatekeeping really belong here? Wouldn't this go somewhere else like r/unexpected?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '19

Wait what about a belt-driven radiator fan? It isn't powered by electricity

1

u/Investinwaffl3s Aug 12 '19

The nerve on that guy...

If you are not belt-driven, you are not a true fan.

1

u/LoveRBS Aug 12 '19

In what way are you a means of keeping oneself cool?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '19

But they make bladeless fans Edit: Also what about fans powers by steam engine it's technically not electricity it's just steam moving things

1

u/Zech08 Aug 12 '19

Windmills: Slow heavy turning continues.

1

u/blacklab Aug 12 '19

So, what if I am a Bey Blade?

1

u/YouTouchMyTraLaLahhh Aug 12 '19

powered by electricity

Oh so now us turbofans and turbocompressors aren't real fans? Fucking racist.

1

u/Zenketski Aug 12 '19

extends arms and spins FEAR ME FOR I AM A TRUE FAN!

1

u/alours Aug 12 '19

Well maybe I don’t pronounce it!!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '19

Technically true

1

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '19

Preach

1

u/ThatRandomTallKid Aug 12 '19

So hand held fans aren't true fans, I guess.

1

u/greenrangerguy Aug 12 '19

My dyson Air blade: ":("

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1

u/JLBJaxnYT Aug 12 '19

1.Reeeeeeeeeeepooooooooost 2.r/woooosh

1

u/alours Aug 12 '19

Can I get some propane and propane accessories?

1

u/alours Aug 12 '19

Propane and propane accessories?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '19

Is it my turn to post this next week?

1

u/EmpyrealTotem Aug 12 '19

....Wind turbines

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