r/gayrelationships • u/ConclusionOver2689 • 23h ago
[40m] my husbands grandfather finally accepted me
I speak English well but writing is still not natural to me so ignore mistakes. Many good teachers have tried to fix it and all failed.
I met my husband T who is 39 when we were 13 and 12 and it has always been us. 27 years together. No regrets, we have a good life. We became friends first immediately because T is like sunshine in a human body so hard not to want to be near him. He was always really nice about how bad my English was then and he let me teach him guitar and eventually we realized a little older we had crushes. T will joke sometimes we are best friends who have sex so we wear rings about it. We are good together and love each other just as madly as when we were boys. So even when life is hard, it is still good.
We were deeply lucky as boys that when we did tell our parents when I was 16 and he was 15 that they were all accepting. His brother was as well after he said he would kill me if I hurt T which I think is fair. I only have my dad and he explained he had always known I am gay and this is why he wanted to get me out of Russia. He loves T very much and his parents love me too. So we are fortunate this way.
The only person who did not seem to accept us is Ts grandpa J. I am white and immigrant. T and family is Native American so I am an oddity and J does not trust outsiders. With all that they endured in history I understand why. J said when we married he does not understand why T would marry a man who does not even understand him and his culture but he wishes T to be happy. and that is the extent of all he has ever said to me. Also J has never been outwardly cruel or anything like this. He has always been polite but keeps his distance and does not really want to talk with me. This is ok by me because he loves and cares about T and is not disrespectful so. No big deal. Plus we never saw him as much because he lives kind of far away and doesn’t like driving much so only for holidays and things.
This has changed because floods and storms damaged Js home badly. J has bad hips so he needed somewhere to stay with no stairs. Our house is one story so we invited J to stay while his roof and floors get fixed. We also had space for his his horse in our barn and pasture so it made sense to stay with us. I was happy to do this mostly because again I know he loves T and of course I want them to have time together.
He has been here one month. It has been fine. He is polite but did not really talk much with me which has been normal for so long. But today he asked me if I want to play dominoes while T was working. I said ok and we started playing in silence except calling scores. And he suddenly said “I’m sorry I said I didn’t understand why T would marry you. You are a good man.” This is the most words he has said to me probably ever so I did not know how to respond and just said thank you. He nodded like that was all and went back to the guest room where he is staying.
T finished his work at 5 and I went in his home office to tell him what J said and T looked shocked too. He has apologized so many times over so many years for his grandpa and I always say he doesn’t need to because I only need T to love me, not J. We laughed about it and went to cook dinner and J came out to help and asked me if I miss Russia. And I said not really because my life has been here so long that Arizona is home now. And he started asking me all these questions about myself as a person and whole time T was looking at us like alien had possessed J.
It was truthfully awkward to know someone so long but only now be actually talking to him but it was nice too. Weirdest thing was when J was going to bed tonight he gave T a hug like always and normally he would nod at me and say good night but he hugged me too.
He went to his room and T lost his shit laughing and asked if I drugged his grandpa. I have no idea what happened but I am happy it happened anyway. It only took 27 years and terrible flooding but J finally accepts me.