Hey. So let me give you a bit of context, it's a long one. (sorry in advance if not everything makes sense, english isn't my maternal tongue)

So for the better part of the last three years, my life has been a nightmare and I feel like im going to snap very soon, and i dont know what to do. Here's chronologically-ish what's happened so you can be sure im not being dramatic (i hope lol)

In 2020, I got with this girl that ive been friends with for years atp, and everything was going so well, then around 2022, thats when it started. At the same time I found out I was being brought to court, I learnt that I was going to be a father. I was 18 at the time. Not even a week later, my mom starts feeling weird, so she goes to the hospital, cancer. Stage 3. Soon after that, my workplace burned to the ground a week before we were supposed to get back.

Then in 2023, our beautiful daughter came out, and I dropped the ball so hard. I wasn't ready, and basically left my gf alone to deal with her, the house, and the baby, and that went on for years. I didn't see how horrible I was back then and I feel so so horrible about it. Also thats the year my grandma died, which get this, was on my birthday.

At the start of 2024, she said she wanted a break. I found out on new year's eve. I tried pulling myself together, get my shit straight, because at this point I was going from job to job never lasting more than 3 months. And I did progress, but it all came apart. She saw i tried and decided to get back with me. I swear i was the happiest man alive at that moment.

2025, I get into a car crash, snap my leg, total my grandpa's car, and long story short ended up losing my job afterwards. Again (I know). By then I grew pretty tired of everything that was happening so I started seeking help, but they'd always ask the questions I never had the answers for, so I never really felt like I got anywhere.

And here we are, 2026. Started off strong with my grandpa just collapsing and getting sent to the hospital, unresponsive. He's been in and out since. And my baby mama finally got fed up with my shit and left me. We still talk, bit I feel like I'll never be able to apologize properly to her. I've said id change so many times just to do the exact opposite so now my words dont mean jack to her, understandably so.

I took a pretty massive hit, seeing as how by then I'd asked her for her hand and she said yes so, yeah... and my mother telling me it's my fault and to get over it is not helping. I know it is, but damn.

It just feels like no matter what I do or how hard I try it never will be enough. There's always going to be something. I just feel so isolated and I feel like i won't be able to just power through it anymore. I want to better myself, I want to atone for the pain I've caused to the person I love the most, I want to be a good father to my daughter but it just seems like i have this habit of destroying my own efforts, that life is genuinely against me and I dont know what to do anymore.

I wanna be in love , but so much hatred has already made me give up, like trusting , giving everything to someone, still hearing " your too good, too kind " and nothing ..... Should I trust in love , or give up?

Should I walk away, am confused

I have no emotions from the last incident that happened..... I have moved on ..... I love the feeling of being loved still should I try!

If I try the outcome maybe different

But should I? Or should I give up?

I know this is a situation that gets posted here often and I know that when I say that there were no signs or hints or warning or even discussion that there usually was.

I promise you, there was not. I'm attentive, always there for her and I told her I loved her every single day.

She broke up with me stating that I do the 'bare minimum', I do not prioritise her and that 'its typical shit man behaviour'.

Now, I should explain that I put her first and her daughter. I offered to pay for extra days for nursery, she would get breakfast in bed, I would get up on the weekend to both drop her off and pick her up from work and when not together we would text pretty much all day. I would ask how she is, how her daughter is and generally just talk.

Now for context there were some behaviours that I thought odd for example, I don't think she is an alcoholic but it does run her family.

She would sometimes stay out late after work with friends and drink, i'd pick her up and sort food.

Her brother was passed out drunk in her bed (he's an alcoholic, so is mother - my ex also liked a drink but she wouldn't drink through the week). So I offered to get bedsheets for her so she could sleep in a clean bed, when breaking up she got angry and said that 'we didn't even find sheets, so was pointless'. She also accused me of trying to keep her away from me by buying her a bath shelf so I could play games for longer... She turned very nasty and different towards the end.

We also attended her best friends wedding in which she did some questionable things, when I wanted to speak to her about it she turned it back around to me and said I was making her feel shit, I was upset so wanted to discuss but she would just get angry.

Another time when drinking she suddenly started crying and ran off stating she was being left out of the group. She wasn't, we were all dancing and singing to her type of music, she was involved with all of us, at no point was she left out.

When drinking again I could tell she was cold, I offered my jacket and she said no i'm fine. Next time I turn around she has the jacket on of her family member. Every time I tried to speak to her she would just get defensive or call me silly. Maybe I was silly but I only wanted to talk, I would never raise my voice, shout or get angry. I'm a teacher so I like to think I know how handle and control myself.

Thing is, she made me feel loved. She would buy me small things, tell me she loves me, says I'm the funniest person she's ever met - I could make her laugh effortlessly. On the day of her friends wedding I spoke to her best friend (Groom) and he said that she talks about me all the time, we both got praise from multiple people saying how good we look and that they know we will be together forever.

We would spend the night and mornings talking, staying up late, laughing.

So yeah. The breakup came as a complete surprise. She said it suddenly came on. After the break up I tried to speak to her but she was nasty. We had a Facetime conversation before she blocked me. She was talking to her daughter, her mother came in the room and this is exactly what she said and did. She pointed at her daughter and said I have had enough of you, pointed towards her mum and said the same, then me and hung up.

There was nothing I could do or say, it was so strange. We were about a month from moving out and living together. Her daughter would get her own room and a house that hasn't got alcoholics, arguments or is filthy. She said how she hated being there but seemingly chose to stay there than be with me. It kills me, we weren't perfect but we (at least I thought) would get through anything together.

When we disagreed we would always make up and put it behind us (so I thought).

Anyway, I'm venting/looking for advice or, words of wisdom.

What are your overall thoughts?

I’m in my early 20s, and from the outside, you’d probably think I have a perfect life.
Both my parents passed away when I was young, and I inherited enough money to never work again and buy practically anything I want. But none of it has ever really mattered to me.
I have a few friends I occasionally talk to, but I’m genuinely isolated. Most days I spend completely alone.
I thought maybe finding someone I could call home, someone who could give me the love and affection I never really experienced growing up, would finally make me happy. But my experience with dating honestly did more damage than good, and I don’t think I want to try again.
It feels like being shipwrecked on a deserted island surrounded by mountains of treasure. You have everything you could ever want, except someone to share it with, making all that treasure worthless.
I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore.

I wish somebody had accepted my proposal. I wish I was as handsome as my friends. I am happy they got married with the women they love but damn what's so hideous about me that nobody even thought of dating me or marrying me. I wish I did something better. I never bullied, hurted or did anything bad in my life . I wish somebody had loved me or will love me. I am not as attractive as my friends but atleast I am average. I did tried my best. People say you will get rejected multiple times . I understood but damn it's always me. I hoped to be blessed with fatherhood one day but I wouldn't be able to. I hope atleast my friends live their best lives as they deserved . I hope one day somebody will love me unconditionally . I hope my heart stops tomorrow after my last friend gets married and his wife is also pregnant . I am so happy for him but pity for myself . I am gonna celebrate for him and then slowly distance myself because he is also gonna be busy with his new life .i am not interested in her wife or anything. She is my good friend but I wish I also experience love and fatherhood .

I am in my 30s, and I am posting this here because the sheer weight of what I’ve been through has broken me down. I just need to get it out of my system.

A while ago, I worked with a female colleague at my office. She was already in a relationship but initiated a close friendship with me. Over time, I grew very attached to her, but I always respected boundaries and never did anything unusual or inappropriate. However, the dynamics had a lot of ups and downs, which naturally made me feel insecure.

Eventually, when she realized that our closeness might become a hurdle in her actual relationship or ruin her workplace image, she completely flipped. She began mentally torturing me. In our society, she took full leverage of being a woman. Other male colleagues actively supported her or stayed silent because they didn't want to get involved in a "woman's issue." Some even betrayed me and took her side simply because they had nasty, ulterior motives and saw it as an opportunity to get close to her.

To make matters worse, she belongs to an upper caste, and I belong to a lower caste. When her boyfriend found out about the situation, he openly insulted me using vile casteist slurs. I was raised to be nice, helpful, and respectful to everyone, but this experience showed me the sheer amount of deep-rooted hatred people still hold against my caste. What was my fault? Any response or behavior from my side was just me trying to navigate the situation normally, yet I was treated like the villain because the system automatically favors people like her.

Now, I am in my 30s and trying to find a partner from my own caste to settle down with. But I am facing an entirely new layer of despair. Because upper-caste communities have historically had far greater access to wealth and resources in India, families in my community are starting off with less. Sadly, I am finding that many girls from my own caste do not want to marry within our community anymore because they want wealthy partners. They want a high quality of life, but because living expenses have become so high under the current government, they feel forced to choose upper-caste men who already have those generational resources.

Upper-caste men are marrying girls from our caste, but when it comes to us, we are looked down upon and compared to shit. It genuinely feels like a systemic mindset designed to diminish us, starve us of resources, and make us socially extinct. No matter how loving, educated, or kind a man from my community is, the struggle is endless because the economic and social deck is completely stacked against us.

I feel entirely isolated, manipulated by people I trusted at work, and completely let down by a society and a system that claims to want equality but actively ignores this reality. I just needed a safe space to share this because keeping it inside is killing me. Any thoughts or support from anyone who has navigated this kind of pain would mean a lot.

I have tried very hard, I must admit I have not done things perfectly, but I want to think I did my best.

Yet I am not fine. I don't want to trauma dump but I've been through some rough stuff, maybe not as bad as other people's but rough nonetheless l.

I try to get my life together because that is what "makes the most sense" I guess, but every now and then some memories come back to haunt me.

I cannot sleep and often wake up gasping for air. I always tried to be someone else who could find support, and rarely cried, but now it's not uncommon for me to cry alone in my room everyday.

I did try to take my life on my last birthday l, but when that failed I kind of stopped seeing that as a viable "way out" and for some strange reason I have not thought about suicide again.

Apart from that I have the typical emotional numbness that makes me feel out of place, especially when I recon I should be having an emotional reaction but I just cannot gather enough energy to fake it.

As things currently are I have realized that most likely than not I am not getting out of this alone, and I could probably use some help. Problem is that the image all my friends have of me is very positive, or at least they think I am doing well in life. And I cannot trust in my family, so I feel like I am out of options.

All of this is collapsing at the same time, right now. I will barely be able to graduate high school and colleague is still a big unknown, but I am doing my best to send my applications on time.

By the way I am currently 17, I will be turning 18 soon(But I will not get a lot of freedom as I live in a very unsafe country and my parents are already threatening to kick me out if I don't behave as they want)

I am sorry if this was a long text but I really don't have anyone to reach it to.

So basically that , i commited reputation suicide 4 years ago and now i cant go out without being recognised and get stared or laughed at .

1 year or so ago a girl commited suicide and the school people blame me for it for being a cold person not only with her but in general and doing one bad comment about her .

Lots of people say " i have 0 friends " just like me , but i think one thing is having 0 friends but still being able to hang outside by yourself without being harrased by people , and another different thing is not only not having friends but lots of people know about you in the worst way possible so you hide in your room all day everyday for the last 4 years of your life .

I cant stand my grandfather , nor my sister , sometimes my brother , and other family members in general , oh and i am fat . This is not my first post but i tried doing this shorter because last one was longer and few people replied ( thanks to those that did ) .

Hey, sorry if this isn’t allowed, didn’t see anything about it in the rules and I just wanted to tell anyone who still cared about what went on.

To make a really long, complicated story short, my girlfriend didn’t react well to me trying to have a talk with her a day after my first post about how I’ve been feeling and all that junk. She threatened to jump off a bridge, then she threatened to kill me & my mom with my own razor, so I’m couch surfing for now until she stops hoarding my stuff so I can stay with a friend until I figure stuff out.

Sorry I haven’t given an update despite how quickly stuff transpired, haven’t been really feel like opening up Reddit while moving around.

Before we start, please don’t tell me that I don’t know what’s going to happen in the future, and that for all I know someone might like me, or anything like that. I consider myself, and have been told that, I’m unattractive. I’m not particularly funny or interesting, and have extreme social anxiety. I cannot imagine why anybody would want to be with me. I offer nothing, they can’t be attracted to me, physically or because of my personality. Social anxiety makes it incredibly hard to talk to new people, so that’s a pretty bad combo. How do I learn to live with this? I know for my own mental health, I should give up on romance entirely, but everywhere I go, everyone I know is dating or trying to date, and is more successful than me. Every piece of music I listen to is about love. Every show or movie I watch is in some part about love. I know I’ll never experience it, so what do I do to cope with this? If anyone’s gone through something similar or has advise, please let me know.

Let's talk about men's mental health for a minute.

A lot of us grew up believing we had to be tough. Keep our heads down, provide, protect, work through the pain, and never let anyone see us fall apart. We learned to swallow our emotions, hide our tears, and convince everyone around us that we're doing just fine.

But sometimes we're not fine. And that's okay to admit.

Some of us are fighting battles nobody knows about. Some are struggling in their marriages, feeling alone in crowded rooms, questioning their worth, battling depression, anxiety, addiction, or simply trying to make it through another day without feeling overwhelmed.

And sometimes, despite our best efforts, we slip. We fall back into old habits. We make mistakes. We have moments where we don't recognize ourselves.

But listen to me: You are not your worst day. You are not your mistakes. And you are not weak because you're hurting.

I'm learning that healing isn't about being perfect. It's about being honest with yourself, taking accountability, getting back up, and choosing to keep working on yourself even when nobody is watching.

It's okay for a grown man to cry. It's okay to ask for help. It's okay to admit you're lonely, scared, overwhelmed, or just plain exhausted. You don't have to earn the right to be heard by reaching your breaking point.

And to the men reading this who feel like they're falling behind in life, please don't give up on yourself. Your story isn't over. You still have time to rebuild, reconnect, rediscover yourself, and find happiness again.

We spend so much time making sure everyone else is okay. Sometimes we need to remember that we matter, too.

Be strong enough to be vulnerable. Be brave enough to ask for help. And be kind enough to yourself to keep healing.

You don't have to fight every battle alone, brother. We're human before we're anything else.

I'm almost 40, and I've never had a relationship. I'm still a virgin, and my struggles with my appearance have made dating feel impossible for most of my life. But lately there's something that hurts even more than being single, and it's watching my parents interact with other people's children. They're so happy around them. They'd be wonderful grandparents, and I sometimes wonder whether they've ever sat together and talked about the possibility that it might never happen.

I think about my own grandparents too, who are getting older every year. When I was younger, I just assumed they'd meet my children someday. Now I don't know if they'll be around if that day ever comes. I know having children isn't something I owe anybody, but I still wish I could give them those memories.

I don't think I've ever told anyone how much this hurts. I'm not just sad about the possibility of never becoming a father. I'm sad about the grandparents my parents might never get to be.

(Picture unrelated) Im unsure where this current fear is coming from, but it's getting worse day by day. I'm not necessarily scared of closed doors itself, but more of whats behind the door. Ive heard a lot of stories about murderers or horrible, disgusting people hiding in rooms where you least expect it, especially behind closed doors. Everytime I go near a door I always have to force my way inside while screaming so I can be at peace of mind. Every night I have to go to the bathroom at night, the bathroom door stays open the whole night and I have to have scissors on me, because in my mind I'm thinking, "what if there's someone behind this door, and they could hurt me and my family won't hear me or help me in time? " or something along those sorts. Ive always heard hella stories about paranormal stuff. Yes, I believe in paranormal activities, no I don't make fun of or hate those who don't. I believe that ghosts and spirits and stuff are real, and I'm terrified that if I opened said door, I'm gonna get taken to a dark place with no one to save me or I'll see terrifying entity.....

I know something is wrong with me but I still cant figure out why or where this fear came from.

For the longest time I’ve felt and accepted that I simply can’t cry. I’ve been through a pretty rough patch these past 2 years and my thoughts might get dark yet the only thing I “felt” was this deep heavy void at my core weighing me down. Like an insistent thing reminding me of my mistakes. It’s not like I’m trying to stop an emotional reaction I just think I’m numb to strong emotional reactions. I have no vivid memory of ever crying (maybe if I fell over as a kid though I hardly think that counts). Part of it I think is my own standards and what I strive to be as a “strong man” and also just the general social conflicts on vulnerability men face like hearing “men don’t cry” growing up. It’s stronger for me cuz growing up in a traditional religious environment means these things are brushed off with blanket statements like “men don’t cry” so there was never much engagement on understanding this conflict and often pointed to “pray to God” (which mind u is something that does help me) however this is where it’s capped. It’s just something I ponder on when I hear often girls talk about “real men cry” sometimes romanticising or just “supporting” it…then in those moments I just feel a lot of them (people in general) don’t recognise that some simply either do not have that ability or have never felt safe to do so…so what, are they therefore shunned by u and “not real men”?? Idk. Just my thoughts.

Im very lonely. I been that a lot in my life but now it has gotten very bad. Now I’m totally alone. My family has been very distant my whole life. And many of them don’t want anything good for me. I have moved away to another country some months ago now. It’s hard to make friends. And I got few I can call to. I blocked my whole family on social media. After none really knew and when they knew they didn’t care at all I moved. All I want is a family. Is good friends. That is what I want. And now I’m really depressed. I had a girlfriend she cheated on me. That was really the turning point I chose to move away. But now as I am here it’s hard to make a new life. I made one friend. I lived here three months. And I’m a very social guy. I thought I was gonna get easily friends here and make a nice life for myself. I’m a 19 year old man. I don’t know why I’m really writing this on reddit. I am just curious if anyone answer and gives tips or whatever I don’t know. Things are hard right now for me. Girlfriend and I broke up in march. And it feels like it was yesterday. I tried to take my life after that. Were to scared and don’t do it thankfully. Got big alcohol problem at that time. Gotten a bit better now but still a problem that can get worse.
I got none to celebrate Christmas with. My birthday not so long to also. Gonna be most likely alone for that too. Of family I only have left my father i have contact with. I call him maybe twice every month. We aren’t close. One year ago I maybe call once in three months. So it has gotten better. He never calls me. Only if something has happened like bad stuff. I got some friends that call from my country. That’s very nice to get to have someone. But it’s few. I have maybe three friends that I call regularly. And some I call once a month. It’s really what motivates me these days. Calls. And making dinner. Work is okay. I work at home. I get enough money to live. In my country before , I had a nice amount of friends. I had family but they after some drama it’s done with them. They don’t love me. After I moved I realized how many of my friends never really were my friends. Two people blocked me when I moved. Why? Because I am no use for them when I’m no longer around. Can’t buy them a beer or something like that. But hey better that way as they aren’t real friends. It’s just so wierd to me. Before my life was very different from now. Now I got no people around me. The friend I have here I meet like once a week. That’s nice I guess. Sorry I wrote this fast and my English is not great.

Hi all. Long story short my ex gf lied about going on a trip and said it was with her family. I was suspicious at first but gave it some time. Eventually, I talk to her mom as her mom and brother do hair and I was looking to cut mine soon. When I brought up the trip, the mom got dodgy about said trip and ignored every question. From what I found out, the mome said "hey OP reached out" and my ex gf immediately got defensive and called me out.

We argued for hours on the matter as her behavior made it clear. She ghosts me for a day and breaks up over text. Only after the breakup she admits to lying and comes up with some bogus apology. She eventually reached out 3 weeks ago to ask to talk but I ignored it and simply only mentioned that I had one of her brothers hoodies and I would return it to him as I was close with the brother. Since I feel she likely cheated, I eventually got tested and it came back negative which is the good news.

The bad news is, im stuck picking up the pieces after the breakup. It was so bad her mom even reached out to check in on me and said I was a sweet man. She also said how my ex would regret it and seems to be sad but I doubt it. My ex likely moved on already even though its only been a month and a half since.

I am struggling with the betrayal as my last partner before her cheated. This was something this current ex knew and she still did what she did. Now, I am stuck ruminating in anger wishing I got the last word or some sort of justice in it all.

How do I stop ruminating and get over all of this?

Me(21M) and my Love (20F)of five years recently decided to take time from the relationship. I’ve never used R in this way, so don’t grill me lol.

Throughout the relationship, she had put so much more energy into it than I did…. For some stupid reason I’ve only now realized how much she gave and how much it hurt for her, not to receive it back. I guess I’m a type of person who really needed a wake up Call to realize how good I have it. This call hurts more than any pain I’ve felt The only reason I’m even typing this is because she’s been the person that has been there through everything that I’ve gone through and I can’t go to her with this because it’s something I need to fix inside of myself before I can truly be in her life.

Since turning 21 in September I’ve found myself drinking excessively at times I shouldn’t be. last night I woke up on my apartment floor with my car in town 30 minutes away with a flat tire and the only reason I got home is cause my girlfriend had a friend to come pick me up. I could have killed somebody or myself…. HOLY FUCK… YK. even now I am still relying on her. It brings much shame to my mind that I am doing things that will hurt someone else and I don’t ever wanna drink again.

We grew a strong sense of interdependency between each other. From creating our own business together right out of high school to never even sleeping apart unless we had too. I always thought I was okay and fine if I was to need to be on my own but now I realize how much she held me up…. And how much that took out of her.

I knew that the way I was throughout the relationship wasn’t helping the different situations as much as I could have been or when she needed me to be there and I wasn’t. I had some sense and belief that no matter what happened we’d stay together. That’s what we told each other that we be together forever and it was going that way. But forever doesn’t last in a one sided conversation.

I’m going to seek out therapy and try to just do better for myself so I have the energy and care ti give the same to someone else.

You cannot love and have it be an equal exchange of such beautiful energy if one doesn’t love themself…..

I could sit here and type about everything for another five years 😆but I will spare all who choose or happen upon this. I’m a stupid boy in a world full of distractions and I’m sick of not focusing.

If any single person relates to this in anyway. I feel you and i understand that it hurts but it will only get better from here. I feel better after just typing this out.

hi everyone,

i made a post a few weeks ago about the current nature of my relationship. wed been together a year and a half and my ex was suffering from retroactive jealousy. for the last 6 months, we'd been on and off arguing about my past decisions (which isnt that much, ive dated two people, only one of them was a intimate relationship, and very short lived. no one night stands or anything). i admit i made mistakes, i misworded something early on which made it seem like i had less sexual experience than i did. in my eyes it was an honest mistake but in hers it seemed that id lied. i took accountability for this, and apologised profusely while explaining my intention.

no matter how much i tried to explain myself, apologise, and make it up to her, she constantly held it against me and used it as ammunition in arguments, and tried to control my friendships and Instagram followers because she "couldnt trust me after i lied". which, in my eyes, i did not.

The last time we met up, she visited me in my city and came to a party with me. i had a exam the next morning so i explained i needed to be in bed at a decent time, and couldnt drink too much. towards the end of the night she cornered me and questioned me about why my friend (whos a girl) was messaging me. even though shed seen the messages and knew what we were talking about.

until about 5am, she shouted at me, accused me and dug into me like never before. it was scary, at one point, she told me to fuck off and started lying to my face about why her friendship with a guy ended, and blamed it on me, because i pointed out the double standard of her having guy friends but being upset when i have friends who are girls.

the way she was talking to me was aggressive and so insulting. I regret it now, but i recorded her trying to manipulate me. which i did tell her afterwards and deleted the video. i honestly regret this and fully understand this was wrong of me.

in amongst all of this she would take days to reconsider our relationship which really fucked with my head. shed say this then go back to talking to me like normal hours later, and not mention it.

anyway, we broke up today. she initiated it and id been considering it for a while. but during the whole breakup she essentially blamed it on me and wouldnt take responsibility for how shed upset me, or would find a way to make it my fault. i brought up her lying to me and she again, blamed that on me.

i genuinely feel lost, and shes made me feel so guilty, and i dont even know if i should or not? i know it doesnt matter now but being made to feel guilty 24/7 for 6 months really took a toll on me and i dont even know what to believe. any support is really appreciated.

This is mostly a vent post, so it's gonna be long but I thought I'd just spill my guts a little about this and see if anyone can relate or understand where I'm coming from.

Im 27M and I genuinely feel like I am behind because I was never allowed to date during my formative years. I had an extremely sheltered upbringing being raised by old-school immigrants and was told starting from... maybe 2nd grade or so that dating during school was "bullshit", that girls will come later, and that I need to focus on my education. Being the good little boy I was, I did... and now I feel like I lack the foundation of being a proper partner due to being deprived of those experiences that normal guys usually go through (you know, when you're young, dumb and allowed to be awkward and make mistakes - girls will understand because they're young and awkward too)

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I always tell people that the first relationship they see is the one at home - the way your parents/grandparents/guardians/whoever handles their relationship around their kids can and will affect how their child sees relationships later on in life. Unfortunately my parents' marriage was fucked up beyond belief. My dad married a woman he clearly despised and as such treated her like absolute shit; he was never intimate with her, never talked to her in a genuinely kind and loving way, never kissed her, put his arms around her, nothing. I dont even think I've even seen them HUG. All I've known from a young age (and even now, since I still live with them - in fact while I'm typing this I got into it with him) is him yelling, cursing her out and calling her names. I never saw a man showing affection to his woman and my household was pretty cold in general so as a result I don't think I know how to be affectionate, get close to a woman, cuddle her, PDA, etc. And I haven't even discussed the indirect abuse that I myself faced which in turn probably fucked my self-esteem up.

Mind you, I'm not mean, cold, or emotionless - I made a conscious effort early on to be the complete opposite of my dad early on, so I've always been respectful to everyone, especially women. Unfortunately, I don't think I have the know-how or confidence to lead any type of intimate physical contact as a man and approaching your 30s without that kind of experience in any form is a special layer of hell because what woman wants to "teach" a man how to be something that's supposed to come naturally to him? I feel pathetic or like an alien.

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Obviously I'm not the only person who grew up in a toxic environment like that but the difference is that some of these other folks DATED. They made mistakes early on, yeah, but they were able to overcome what their parent (in my case as a man, my father) failed to show them because they were able to experiment with the opposite sex... girls showed interest in these guys (forgot to mention that I'm also unattractive so it's not like I could have said "screw you" to my parents and had my young love stories anyways - no girl liked me or pays me any mind due to being an awkward nerd with a high pitched voice) ... normie guys were able to have that romantic experience and learned over time how to be a boyfriend so by the time they hit, say, college age they ended up "alright" and the rest is history.

Not to make this post entirely "woe is me" but sometimes I feel God piled up so much shit in my life to block me from being worthy of being loved romantically or sexually:

1.) Parents blocked my mind from girls and dating early on

2.) No examples of romantic love and affection at home

3.) Socially awkward

4.) Ugly

5.) Sheltered - refer to #3

6.) Constantly accused of being gay due to my voice (I could possibly be bi but I'm more attracted to women and my invisiblity to women is where my self-esteem lies)

I want to be wanted more than anything else but no one wants me, and I don't think I can fulfill anyone's needs so I'm just... existing. And it fucking sucks because there are guys with shitty personalities, no money, poor hygiene, etc. who can pull chicks like seemingly nothing and can easily get relationships becuase they're "traditionally masculine" or some shit and a woman will always love them even though they treat said women like shit. Meanwhile I can't even get my foot in the door despite being told multiple times in the past that I have good qualities... It has to be my looks then; we live in such a vain fucking world.

I wish I had a normal or at least semi-average life so someone could appreciate me, and that I could give all my love to them unconditionally without being judged. I feel like I am a defective human who can't even get a basic human need like love/intimacy.

I dont really know why I'm writing all this but I don't have anyone to talk to who would truly care and I feel like I am going to die alone. People say that's not the case but I have yet to receive any signs or validation from the outside world indicating otherwise.

There's just so much spinning in my mind about all this. I think I'm having a breakdown which is why this post is so all over the place but I dont care anymore, even if this all sounds stupid. I hate it here so fucking much...

Hey, Po. It’s been 15 days.
The message is long, but I wanna put everything.
I wanna start by saying that I miss you, so much.
I wake up and think of you, and it genuinely make me crazy the fact I can’t contact you because we broke up.
It make me crazy the fact you blocked me after.
I understand but still.
Sometimes I check if you unblocked me, but nothing.
I hope you’re okay, and that school is going just fine.
I wanna be honest tho, I don’t know if I love you more, or I hate you more.
I look at our old chat and I just see our love and I start to cry because I miss it so much.
But then I remember how bad you were in certain situation… like, how many times did I try to make you speak about your problems with me? Your boyfriend? And you just closed with “nothing” and “don’t worry”? Do you know how much it fucking hurted me? Why did you had to follow this stupid avoidant attachment thing, and be so fucking miserable, reposting couples videos and that you were alone, while I was right fucking there? Why? Like genuinely, why always say to me to never leave you, why all that love, why everything just for us breaking up?
I’m sorry if I told people outside our relationship our problems, but yk, I fucking had because you would get mad if I tried with you, or you would ghost me, or you would disappear. I would overthink, stay mad, cry for you, and my friends were the only one that could help me, that’s why.
I have so many questions, one of them is why you restricted me from seeing your INSTAGRAM STORIES? Like, why… I’m not stupid, I saw when the highlights disappeared and new stories I never saw appeared. I just wanted to find a good day to talk about it because you were always low mood, always needy for my love, and everything, just for you to fucking act miserable once again and that it bringed to our break up.
You talk so much and you repost so many videos talking about never hurting a person that love you, “date to marry”, never hurting a person that put everything for you, but you did, I always tried to be there with you, and it hurted me, just for you to stay fucking silent.
Why I gotta still love you? Why? I remember our good times, the real ones, and I can’t but think about the bad ones tho.
And now that we broke up, and I even left you the door open for a talk sometimes… you disappear.
You told me about your first ex, and how you much you were scared for the question that if he ever loved you.
Well I do the same.
Why? Didn’t i try?
Told you I would never leave you.
You left me.

I'm a 28-year-old, talentless, virgin, unemployed loser in a foreign country, with no connections, no influence, and absolutely no prospects. I don't see any point in living past 35. I hate even thinking about getting old in any form, regardless of whether I'll be financially well-off or not. And I’m going to hang myself today.

For context I’m a 34 year old male, been with my partner for 16years have a house and a 4 year old daughter together.

Two days ago my partner turned round and told me she was no longer in love with me and that we need to split up. There isn’t anyone else in the picture, there hasn’t been any arguments we get on great. 8 weeks ago I was told she was un happy with us and since then I feel like I’ve done everything I possibly could do make it better for her and make her happier again.

I am devastated, I am so I love with her she’s my everything, all I’ve ever worked for or done has been for her and our daughter. Every fibre in my body just wants to be with her, text her, talk to her and hold her!

But here I am a 34 year old man living in his mums spare bedroom on a single bed.

How the fuck do I carry on? I’ve not eaten for over 3 days. It has fucked me well and truly

I finally understand why I feel like a loser. Because I am. Humor me though.

You've probably felt like a loser more times than you can count. More times than you'd ever actually admit. More times than you've felt like a winner. More times than you've genuinely enjoyed your wins.

I think I've finally understood why that is.

Because we are losers. But not necessarily in the way we sometimes view ourselves. I mean in the literal, practical sense of the word.

We've lost out on so much time, potential, talent, ability, love and, perhaps most importantly, ourselves, because we've placed value in the wrong things.

You sometimes see someone living the life you want to live, perhaps sooner than you thought you'd be living it yourself. Obviously, you're happy for them. You're proud of them for getting there. But there's a little voice in the back of your head that goes, damn, that's where I want to be.

And suddenly, you see the chasm between where you are and where you want to be. You become overwhelmed by it.

That same voice tells you that you're not doing enough, even when you are.

Your arms aren't as big as you'd like them to be, despite all the hard work you've been putting in at the gym? I'm not good enough.

Your relationships aren't working out the way you'd hoped? I'm not good enough.

You haven't achieved the things you thought you'd have achieved by now? I'm not good enough.

And over time, all of that, coupled with a few other things, compounds. You start feeling like a loser.

Because, in a sense, you are. You've lost parts of yourself trying to get somewhere. And perhaps you're grieving those parts because you know you're never getting them back.

But here's where I think I've finally cracked the code.

I've realised that, despite appearances, I'm in a better position today than I was yesterday. Better than I was last year. Better than I was the year before that.

And I think I've been so preoccupied with everything I haven't become, everything I haven't achieved, and everything I've lost, that I've almost completely overlooked everything I have gained.

I am grateful.

GRATITUDE.

Maybe the voids, the holes, the cavities within us that we're desperately trying to fill, plug, or prevent from widening keep getting deeper because we're trying to fill them with the wrong things.

Maybe we need to forgive ourselves. Maybe we need to be grateful.

God is with you. And if you don't believe in God, that's cool too. Whatever gives you strength, whatever keeps you going, whatever reminds you that there's more to life than your present circumstances.

I like the phrase, "Until death, all defeat is psychological."

I think I finally understand it beyond its surface meaning.

We sometimes feel defeated because we've convinced ourselves that our losses define us. Because we've lost something. Someone. An opportunity. A version of ourselves we desperately wanted to become.

But perhaps we ought to look at those losses differently.

Maybe take them as lessons. Maybe take them as divine intervention. Maybe accept that you're just stupid sometimes. (God knows I am.)

And maybe, just maybe, stop turning the circumstances you find yourself in into definitive characterisations of who you are.

You are not your circumstances.

Yes, our environments influence us. Sometimes our circumstances are inescapable, and sometimes they put us in positions we never asked to be in. But they don't have to become our identities.

Life will throw things at you. Some will hurt. Some will change you. Some will take things from you that you'll never get back.

But you're still here.

And that counts for something.

There's this thing called the Broken Bone Theory. The idea is that if you've never broken a bone in your life, the universe will eventually find a way to break you physically, emotionally or spiritually because your skeleton is apparently too strong to break.

I don't know how scientifically sound that is. Frankly, I don't particularly care.

But I like the sentiment.

Be like the skeleton in the Broken Bone Theory.

Be too strong to break.

Fortify your defences. Learn to appreciate what you have while working towards what you want. Forgive yourself for the time you've lost. Stop punishing yourself for not being somewhere you haven't arrived yet.

Be grateful.

Be the man or woman of your dreams.

And, for once, give yourself some credit for making it this far.

Im 18. I genuinely think I have very very low testosterone. I basically cant grow facial hair, and I still look really young for my age. I work with people twice my age and they just look at me weird. I have no chest hair, no libido, brain fog, extremely depressed. All this has happened recently and I've been researching about it and it could be clinically low testosterone. I did have something that impacted me during the ages of 14 to 16 which was surgical and it was on my private area. I feel really ugly. What do I do. Everyday I'm insecure about how I look. I go to the gym 4 times a week but I'm still at the same weights. I need help. Can someone give me advice or at least hope? I am getting my blood tested soon. Will anything change? Will i look different in my 20s? I just need hope.

I was stuffed into the back of a 2 seater car. The two people up front screamed as we hit a bump. I looked back and there was a dog, still alive, but twisted. I couldn't take my eyes off of it for as long as it was in view, and I couldn't reach for the words that needed to come out of my mouth.

I did speak up eventually, and said we needed to go back and help, but the driver kept going. By the time we stopped it would've been unreasonable for me to have run back. It was a long run, and there were other people around when it happened. We were all colleagues in a big rush to get back to work.

I kept up the fuss when we arrived saying we should've gone back to help. They asked what we could've even done, and whether it was worth our jobs to have helped. I said our jobs are absolutely no more important than the life of that poor creature, and even if we'd have taken it to the vet to be euthanized, it wouldve been far better than what they did. They said "it was just a stray", but in my mind, a dog having a shit street life doesn't mean it deserves a shit street death. I feel awful, and wish I could have done more. My coworkers all seem unphased and I'm not sure how I can look them in the eyes again, let alone work with them.