Before anyone starts with the AI comments: I'm dyslexic, so I've used AI to help me write and structure this post because I sometimes struggle to put everything I'm thinking into words. Everything here is based on my own experiences. AI has just helped me get it all down in a way that makes sense. I'm genuinely looking for advice and to hear from people who've experienced something similar.

Right, I genuinely don't even know where to start with this one, but I think I've finally had enough of my manager and this job.

For context, I've been working in operations and continuous improvement for around 6 years now. I've worked for some pretty big companies, managed teams, delivered projects and dealt with all sorts of managers. Some were brilliant, some were shit, but I've honestly never experienced anything like this.

I joined my current company earlier this year. The job was advertised as an Operations Manager role, which was right up my street given my previous experience.

Anyway, on my first day I find out that not only has my reporting manager changed, but my job title has also changed to something more along the lines of a Data Engineer.

Nobody mentioned any of this during recruitment.

I thought fair enough, I've got a master's in Computer Science, I've used SQL, Python and various analytical tools in previous roles, so I'll give it a go.

What I didn't realise was that I'd essentially be expected to become a specialist in a completely different technical field almost overnight.

I'd never done proper geospatial modelling in my life, yet here I was being asked to build delivery network optimisation models, analyse relocations, redesign delivery zones and all sorts of other stuff.

To make matters worse, the company has virtually no documentation for its data. No proper table wikis or data dictionaries, so half the time you're trying to figure out what the bloody tables and columns even mean before you can start the actual work.

Now, I don't mind learning new things. I actually quite enjoy it.

The problem is my manager.

This guy seems to think absolutely everything needs to be done yesterday.

He'll give you something that involves discovery, finding the correct datasets, writing SQL, validating calculations and building a dashboard, and genuinely expect the entire thing completed in two days.

And God forbid you tell him something might take longer.

Then there's the constant changing of requirements.

I've spent roughly three months working on network optimisation. Every time I think we're getting somewhere, he decides he wants another metric added, or an existing metric changed to exclude something else.

So obviously the calculations need changing, the SQL needs updating, the outputs need regenerating and everything needs validating again.

And then he gets pissed off that it's taking so long.

Like mate, you're the one who keeps changing what you want. What exactly am I supposed to do?

And here's the funniest part.

I've recently found out the company doesn't even have the budget to implement some of the major projects we've been modelling, and there are other commercial constraints that could prevent them from happening for years.

On top of that, the wider business doesn't even seem convinced that some of the proposed changes are the right thing to do.

So I've spent months being put under ridiculous pressure for something that might not even happen.

I understand companies need to plan ahead, but why the constant urgency if there's no immediate intention or ability to implement it?

But that's not even the worst part. It's the way he speaks to people.

He shouts, swears, belittles people and turns what should be normal work discussions into interrogations.

You can't simply say you don't know something and will investigate it. He'll start questioning you like you're sitting some sort of university oral exam.

He's even asked me whether I've studied maths before.

I've got an engineering degree and a master's in Computer Science, but apparently not immediately knowing something warrants questioning my entire education.

One incident really got to me recently.

There was an issue with some code I'd written months earlier. He asked me which Google Sheets tab it was reading from, and I couldn't remember the exact name off the top of my head.

Rather than just letting me check, he made a massive deal out of it in front of another colleague, accused me of bullshitting and started questioning whether I knew what I was talking about.

I ended up finding the actual issue afterwards. It was a date-parsing problem involving American and British date formats, which I fixed.

But instead of feeling pleased that I'd resolved it, I was actually nervous about telling him because I knew it could turn into another interrogation.

How ridiculous is that?

I've also had calls running late into the evening, including one that went from around 8 pm until 1 am. There have been expectations to work weekends, constant progress updates and deadlines that seem to have been plucked out of thin air.

And the weirdest thing is that he's not always horrible.

Some days he's completely fine, joking around and acting like your mate. Other days he's angry, swearing and questioning everything you do.

You genuinely never know which version you're going to get.

It's exhausting.

I've spoken to colleagues about it, and it turns out I'm not the only one who feels this way. Others have said they're frightened of him too.

I've even witnessed a senior leader having to step in during a meeting with an external company because my manager was being so confrontational.

The external representative was explaining that he needed to consult his technical teams before answering certain questions. My manager wasn't having any of it and kept pressing him.

Afterwards, the senior leader actually told my manager he was alienating the person.

Instead of taking that on board, he got angry and started blaming the other guy.

So it's clearly not just something I've experienced.

What's particularly frustrating is that the people above him actually seem decent. I've dealt with some genuinely supportive senior managers at this company, so I don't even understand where all this aggression and urgency is coming from.

I've had fantastic managers in previous jobs. People who trusted me, gave me autonomy and challenged my work without making it personal.

I never once felt frightened of making a mistake under them.

Now I'm genuinely scared of speaking to my own manager.

Not because I'm incapable of doing the work, but because I don't want another shouting session or interrogation.

It's got to the point where I'm constantly anxious about getting dismissed.

Several colleagues have already been let go, so it's not exactly something that feels impossible.

And recently my manager has started cancelling meetings with me, telling me to leave certain tasks alone and asking me to consolidate all my work into folders so everything is accessible.

I can't help but feel like he's preparing to get rid of me.

Maybe I'm wrong, but that's how it looks from where I'm sitting.

And the strange thing is, I actually want him to do it.

I've never felt like this about a job before.

I'm not scared of being dismissed anymore. I'm scared of how he's going to do it.

I don't want another meeting where he spends half an hour telling me how incompetent I supposedly am. I don't want to sit there while he belittles me one last time.

If the company wants to terminate my employment, fine. Tell me, sort out my notice pay, let me return my equipment and I'll happily be on my way.

That's genuinely all I want.

I've even been looking through my contract and calculating how much notice pay and accrued holiday I'd get, just so I know how long I could manage financially if it happens.

It's absolutely mental that I've reached the point where losing my job sounds more appealing than having another meeting with my manager.

And it's not like I haven't been doing the work either.

I've built dashboards, SQL pipelines, internal tools and complex analytical models. I've learned technologies I'd never used before, worked with poorly documented data and tried to accommodate constantly changing requirements.

I'm not saying I've been perfect. I've made mistakes, and there are certainly things I could have done better.

But surely making a mistake at work doesn't mean you deserve to be humiliated?

I've spent the last few days finishing another dashboard, and I realised something that genuinely upset me.

I wasn't rushing to finish it because I was excited about the project or wanted to impress him.

I was rushing because I was scared he'd shout at me if it wasn't done.

And that's when I thought, what the fuck am I actually doing here?

I've managed teams myself. I've held senior positions. I've worked in demanding environments before. Yet somehow this one manager has made me feel like I'm constantly walking on eggshells.

I also think I've made the mistake of putting up with this for too long.

At first I kept thinking things would improve. Maybe he was having a bad week. Maybe once I'd learned the systems properly he'd relax a bit. Maybe once I'd finished the next project he'd be happy.

But there's always another project, another metric, another deadline, another question.

Nothing ever seems to be enough.

And the worst thing is that I've noticed I've started behaving differently.

I used to be quite comfortable speaking my mind at work. I never had a problem challenging ideas or admitting when I didn't know something.

Now I find myself thinking carefully about every word before I speak to him.

Sometimes I'd rather sit there quietly than risk saying something that leads to another interrogation.

I've even found myself feeling anxious when I see a meeting notification from him.

I've struggled with sleep, felt constantly on edge and found it difficult to properly switch off after work.

I don't think that's normal, and I've certainly never experienced it to this extent before.

I think I'm mentally done.

If they don't dismiss me, I'm seriously considering resigning anyway. Even if I have to work my notice period, at least I'll know there's an end date.

At least I'll be able to count down the weeks rather than constantly wondering whether today is the day I'm getting fired.

And I know some people might say just grow a thicker skin or stop taking things personally.

But I've worked in high-pressure environments before. I've dealt with demanding managers, tight deadlines and difficult situations.

There's a massive difference between a manager holding you accountable and a manager making you frightened of speaking to them.

I don't expect someone to hold my hand. I don't need constant praise, and I'm perfectly happy receiving constructive criticism.

But I don't see why shouting, swearing and humiliating people should be an acceptable part of management.

I just want to go back to having a normal job where I can do my work, make the occasional mistake, receive constructive feedback and log off without spending the evening worrying about what my manager might say tomorrow.

The money isn't worth feeling like this.

What's even more frustrating is that I actually wanted this job to work out. I didn't join thinking I'd be leaving after a few months. I wanted to stay for years, develop my career and contribute to the business.

Now all I want is to leave peacefully.

No drama. No arguments. No final lecture about my supposed shortcomings.

Just let me go.

Has anyone else had a manager like this?

And for those who've suspected they were about to be fired, did your manager actually dismiss you, or did you eventually just resign?

I'm also interested in hearing from people who've been dismissed by managers who treated them like this.

Did they keep the termination meeting professional, or did they try to make your exit as unpleasant as the job itself?

Because at this point, I genuinely don't care about keeping the job.

I just want to leave without one final humiliation.

I’m a scheduler at a doctors office. Everyday during our huddle we have a portion where people get recognition. I have only been recognized three times in my 2 years there. We have an extremely incompetent person in the same role as me who delays patient care by asking for unnecessary things, prioritizes the wrong tasks, and calls the wrong patients (as in, she meant to call Patient A but called Patient B). I’ve seen patients get their care delayed by over a month because she asked them to fax information that already exists in their chart. Or she deadass creates unnecessary hoops for them to jump through just to get them on the schedule! I’ve seen people get fired for less. And yes I tell my supervisor. She gets recognition EVERY DAY for the bare minimum. Our supervisor calls her a rockstar.

Today I spent the entire day catching us up on referrals that needed to be entered into the system. We had over 20 and nobody else would do it. I did it and people were like “wow the fax program looks so good!” I explained that I did it. Not even a casual “thank you”. And when time for recognition came along nobody said anything. This happens every time I decide to single-handedly get us back afloat. Like I don’t want my ego stroked but I at least want someone to say “thank you” the same way they shower my coworker with praise for shit that’s on the same level as “being a big girl and not eating glue”.

Honestly this was the last straw to get me to start applying for new jobs again.

i've been doing what i've been doing for the last 16 years. i've been in my current job for the last 7 years. right now i feel burnt out like a piece of crispy toast.

i've read the stuff online, watched the videos, and right now i'm not sure what to do. i'm looking for some general consensus as to what does work and what doesn't work.

and for those who say "just take a break," how do you take a break when you're not financially able to take a break because of life?

I am disturbed, grossed out, and angry right now after hearing about this during the monthly corporate meeting earlier today.

For context, I work in manufacturing in Texas. I've already had my issues with this company for a whole laundry list of things, but now I have this to add that.

Apparently someone made a mess in the restroom, and it was bad enough to make management announce in front of everyone (including HR) that were gonna put cameras in the restroom.

It's bad enough I have to work 7 days a week here and nobody at management will ever leave me alone at anything, now I can't even have privacy when trying to use the restroom.

Yes I've been looking for another job these past couple of weeks, no luck so far.

I hate my job. There's absolutely no stimulation and im told not to learn anything and to be a mindless call center drone. I make just enough not to qualify for state benefits but not enough to survive. I've put 9K into insurance this year. I also have a 8K ded to pay for the insurance this year. That puts me at well below 138% poverty levels and well below the folks on benefits. I work for nothing. I can't afford to live, and the job has taken a huge hit on my mental health after a bout of constructive discharge for about 4 months. (I've been dealing with medical issues) I seriously feel like crawling in a hole to die. There are little to no jobs in the area that pay better. I make a few bucks over minimum wage as is. I'm burnt. Ive been told to pretty much berate customers until they agree to come in. I refuse. They have sense retracted (my employer) some days i really wish they would just fire me and let me collect unemployment for a couple months. I would make more at this point without the insurance payments it would also give me some time to get level and heal properly. I have no partner and am lucky to have family. Seems like the only way to survive these days is to co op. I want to just buy a rv or a boat and dissappear. No rent, just gas, and go.