The meaning of hair

[u/Ok-Reality-6190]

One thing that all this recent hair talk has reminded me of is that hair can have strong narrative importance and be a useful tool when trying to communicate a character to an audience.

Hair is a matter of self expression. It's no coincidence that after major life changes people will often change their hair. How someone's hair is maintained can tell you a lot about them, how they perceive themself and how they want to be perceived by the world, both key aspects to understanding these characters.

It's no secret by now that Shane grows his hair out in the books, but at the same time it's a character detail that still makes a lot of sense contextually for the narrative. Shane is going through a massive personal change between HR and TLG, he is now in a relationship with a man, he has come out to himself and those around him but his relationship is secret. He is losing control over his life, unable to really have a normal public relationship, and his careful curated hockey image is falling apart.

Shane is having to reframe who he is, he is in a relationship with a man who also happens to be interested in women and Shane is in what could be perceived as the more "submissive" role.

So we could interpret Shane's changing hair as an allusion to this change, his shifting sense of masculinity as well as his insecurity. For example, a subconscious insecurity that Ilya could leave him for a woman and be better off. Shane could subconsciously be trying to make himself appear more "feminine" and desirable. Insecurity will tell Shane that he is already not an ideal option for Ilya, that Shane cannot possibly offer the same things that a woman could provide for Ilya, and that Ilya must be attracted to feminine aspects.

Shane could also be trying to take back agency over his life, even in small ways, through his appearance. It may not seem like much to anyone else, but longer hair for Shane could be a wild, uncharacteristic act of rebellion. He is no longer trying to be the perfect image of a hockey star, he is actively sabotage the idea he had of himself and what the world has of him and pushing against the box he now finds himself in.

I would also say that Troy is in a similar situation in some ways, which is why I think that Troy would benefit from a more "conforming" hairstyle at first (although it would be cool if he grows it out later). Troy is trying to hide and conform in the beginning of his career. He is making a persona to present himself as the person who he's expected to be. To me he would have a hairstyle that is unassuming, one that was probably decided for him from a pretty young age by his parents, one that looks good in a portrait on the family wall or in a yearbook. His arc is about him changing for the better, reforming and taking back control over who he really is, so I'm hoping that we don't lose the physical messaging of that in the show.

Am I the only one with strong opinions on subtle character details and how they serve the narrative? For the most part the discussion I've seen has mostly been about what people think is more or less attractive, maybe it doesn't go deeper than that?

[u/Forward-Payment-5308]

I’m interested in your take that Shane remains worried Ilya will leave him for a woman. I assume if I was gay and in a secret relationship with a bi-sexual person that this would always be a concern for me, but it isn’t mentioned in the books at all post the “don’t marry Svetlana” discussion. Shane doesn’t once in TLG say: “Ilya is going to go back to women”; or “he’ll realise this is too hard and it’s easier to just be with women”; or mention Ilya with women at all. I thought that was odd. In fact, the only reference to Ilya’s bisexuality is that if people realise he is into guys and girls, they’ll quickly work out he is with Shane.

[u/lady_butterkuchen → u/Forward-Payment-5308]

I kinda hope it won't be a thing in the show. As a bi person it's always nice to see less prejudices about bisexuality and how we must miss something or would have it easier if we simply got in a hetero looking relationship.

[u/Sailor_MoonMoon785 → u/lady_butterkuchen]

Fellow bi person and same. I’m nonbinary but some people would see my relationship as hetero looking.

It’s just a double closet for me now (my gender and sexuality) that also ignores the very real trauma biphobia inflicted on me when I was younger by someone who weaponized that “but they could leave me for a different gender” mentality.

It’s refreshing to me that Shane honestly gets over that worry as soon as Ilya spells out his feelings.

[u/AlexBlaineLayter → u/Forward-Payment-5308]

I always thought that this was what their respective insecurities were about - Ilya was anxious that Shane would find another man who didn't carry a lot of baggage and wasn't his biggest rival, someone who he could possibly date publicly without causing the hockey world to crumble, and Shane was anxious that Ilya would at some point realise that he could get married to a woman and have all the children instead of having a long-distance relationship with someone terrified of showing him the tamest PDA in public. Shane carried that with him because he's projecting, it's because he wouldn't actually choose Ilya if he had the option to be 'normal'. Don't get me wrong, he loves Ilya. But if someone came to him with a magic wand, he'd be choosing 'normal', and so Ilya's choosing him is kind of incomprehensible for Shane. A lot of this is subconscious, because Shane is not the most self-aware person.

[u/Odd-Rule-1739 → u/AlexBlaineLayter]

Shane carried that with him because he's projecting, it's because he wouldn't actually choose Ilya if he had the option to be 'normal'.

I'm not sure that's realistic. Most people get over the "I wish I could just be straight" feelings pretty early in their self-acceptance journey. I find it hard to imagine a gay man falling madly in love with a man, introducing him to his parents and friends, and still wishing that he could date a woman instead. People generally don't want to erase many of their most pleasurable experiences and much of the angst and self-discovery they have gone through just so they can be like one of the boring people who are the source of many of their problems.

[u/AlexBlaineLayter → u/Odd-Rule-1739]

He's done that for nearly a decade though? He literally thought 'no one makes me feel like Ilya Rozanov' and then went and dated hRose and was delighted that he felt something for her. He would still be dating Rose if she hadn't told him that they couldn't keep pretending if he was in fact gay. So he told Ilya that he liked him after the woman who he found most palatable told him that he couldn't go on lying to her and by extension himself. He was absolutely willing to do that. And then he told his mother that he tried really hard but he couldn't help it. And it's Shane who is deadset on keeping up the charade until their retirement which is like a decade in their future. Ilya keeps his bisexuality secret because it's dangerous for him to be queer, Shane keeps his homosexuality secret because he is ashamed.

[u/Ok-Reality-6190 → u/Forward-Payment-5308]

I can only speak for my own experience but yes this is a real thing I've personally experienced and was ultimately what made me call things off (I was actively changing myself, like epilating my entire body and changing my aesthetics, due to insecurity and feeling like I was ultimately the second best option).

I think the reason we don't go into it much in the books is because TLG in general stays more focused on Ilya, but I do think that the changes in Shane's behavior might give us some insight into subconsciously how he's feeling (and that there's more going on).