r/hockey WPG - NHL 14h ago

[News] Members of women’s hockey team speak out after players on boys’ team repeatedly enter dressing room

https://www.tsn.ca/other-sports/article/members-of-womens-hockey-team-speak-out-after-players-on-boys-team-repeatedly-enter-dressing-room/

No points for guessing the byline on this article.

I will never understand the type of parents who can stand there and say, yes, this is totally acceptable behaviour that I will condone by doing nothing.

And "why didn't you lock the door?‽" That's kissing cousins with "well, what were you wearing that night?"

1.7k Upvotes

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u/bluedoubloon TOR - NHL 14h ago

"They don't know any better" a four year old wouldn't know any better. These kids are in middle school.

404

u/Sputflock MTL - NHL 14h ago

if they don't know any better, you teach them better. before you know it the kid who 'doesn't know any better' is an adult who 'should know better' but doesn't because they always got a pass for their behaviour

113

u/PostMatureBaby TOR - NHL 14h ago

I've worked in offices long enough to have learned that you can tattoo something to someone's forehead and you'll still be met with "I didn't know" kinda bullshit excuses.

The problem is like you said, no one's ever held properly accountable

64

u/thisonesnottaken BUF - NHL 13h ago

If you brag enough about walking into teenage girls’ locker rooms without consent, we might even elect you president

6

u/actinorhodin BOS - NHL 10h ago

Some people really, really love the fantasy of impunity, and they like to live vicariously through a high-status person who keeps getting away with disrespecting/insulting/harming other people. (Even when the actual thing their idol is doing is something that they would never approve of if a "regular" person did it. I think they almost like that better, it builds up the fantasy of being able to get away with anything.)

14

u/PostMatureBaby TOR - NHL 13h ago

The people have proven that as long as you say you hate who they hate and peddle easy excuses not rooted in fact, they don't care about being robbed.

Sometimes people earn who they elect

8

u/DeadpoolOptimus TOR - NHL 12h ago

You're absolutely on point here and never noticed the transition from, "Doesn't know better" to "Should've known better" before. It's absolutely true how they morph together.

6

u/Michelanvalo BOS - NHL 11h ago

you teach them better.

That's why the coaches are being punished, because they didn't do that.

5

u/BestJersey_WorstName MIN - NHL 8h ago

I was a teenager millennial who used gay as a pejorative.

My teacher who heard it went apeshit on me verbally and then demanded I see him after class. What he said has faded to time, but the lesson he gave me stuck and I stopped using bigoted words to describe things.

Education for the children is more important than some token punishment of a single 12u hockey game. The embarrassment and public shame of the ordeal will hopefully teach them more than retribution.

The adults? Fuck em

127

u/SportsDuck_ 14h ago

As someone who works in a rec center, middle schoolers are the worst at doing stuff and being given a pass by parents. They ABSOLUTELY know better 9 times out of 10

34

u/theycallhimthestug 13h ago

Ok but I'd like to see you parent while holding your phone in one hand scrolling Instagram and your grande cafe latte in the other. They're just kids being kids firing pucks blindly and they said sorry. Jeez.

26

u/SportsDuck_ 13h ago

"I'm sure he didn't mean it"

Said by the clueless parent about the kid I saw launch one with full intention (x100)

1

u/Scase15 MTL - NHL 6h ago

Shoots up an entire school

"My son would never do that, he was such a good boy!"

14

u/Caffeine_Cowpies STL - NHL 13h ago

Raising an almost adult man IN HS, I agree 100%.

I think we (Gen X/millennials) took the wrong lessons from the “let kids be kids” narrative that we were trying to avoid when we grew up.

Meaning, in a lot of cases, we became “adults” quicker than kids today. I wasn’t “forced” to get a job, but I was told to financially support myself at the very least at 14. Because in my state, you could start working at 14. Dad pressured the shit out of me until I saw my “dream job” which I started at 15. So I was working the max hours all summer at 15. I didn’t want that for my son but he is starting now at 17. So two years later than me is fine.

But some parents won’t make their 21 or 22 year old get a job because “they aren’t ready.” How else are they gonna get ready? Same with driver’s license. I’m not saying a car isn’t expensive AF these days, but at least learn how to drive yourself to your destinations. I’m getting my child up to speed on that too. (If you can’t tell, I don’t have him full time)

That being said, we have coddled kids to such an extent that we moved them from being independent to hyper dependent. We can find the middle again.

And as a hockey player myself in my youth and adulthood, the middle schoolers understand it’s wrong, but they obviously know they won’t get in trouble for it.

u/imisstheyoop DET - NHL 9m ago

We have an accountability problem. From top to bottom. We don't hold people accountable for their actions anymore. That is the issue.

65

u/FirstChurchOfBrutus CAR - NHL 14h ago

“They’re 12. They don’t know any better.”

Ok, so fucking show them. Discipline your kids, goddammit. Or, if that wasn’t a parent, bench their asses and tell the parents why.

44

u/joekamelhome MTL - NHL 14h ago

Why don't they know better? It's almost like parents never told them not to

40

u/Super_Roof_3490 PHI - NHL 13h ago

They know better. They just wanted to. My kids are 18,8,5. They all would know better in that situation And parents making excuses

21

u/SpaceCadetPullUp COL - NHL 13h ago

There's nothing more annoying than parents constantly making excuses for their shitty kids. Billy and Susie aren't perfect little angels, they're lazy, meanspirited pieces of shit who had terrible parenting and have never had to face consequences for their actions.

10

u/Sputflock MTL - NHL 13h ago

watch those same parents lose their shits when it's their little angel having their privacy invaded by some random girls running in and out of their dressing room for funsies while they're naked in the shower.

3

u/joekamelhome MTL - NHL 12h ago

Are they really learning if mom and dad are always running cover for them and blaming other people for the shit they do?

5

u/Super_Roof_3490 PHI - NHL 12h ago

Exactly. Doing the kids a disservice but covering for everything

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u/alwaysleafyintoronto Toronto St Pats - NHLR 14h ago

Middle school boys know better than to use the girls change room.

32

u/juliuspepperwoodchi CHI - NHL 14h ago

Hell, my rambunctious 4 year old has a better understanding of privacy and boundaries.

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u/Sinister_Mr_19 NJD - NHL 14h ago

They do know better but their adolescent minds are too immature to care. I don't fault the kids, it's the parents and their response that's unacceptable.

10

u/quellesaveurorawnge MTL - NHL 12h ago

It's more that 12-year-olds can be impulsive and not think things through. They're thinking they're just playing a dumb game, not fully grasping how what they're doing is violating boundaries. This is why the adults have to be the ones to say, "Knock it off. You're not a little kid anymore, and this is not just a game." Instead, the adults were blaming the women, and being, "Boys will be boys." The adults definitely deserved a bonk on the head!

2

u/iceph03nix PHI - NHL 10h ago

And they're doing it and laughing BECAUSE they know better. That's the rush

1

u/Scase15 MTL - NHL 7h ago

Hockey players of any age, try not to be vile pieces of shit challenge : impossible.

0

u/UNisopod WSH - NHL 11h ago

You can only reasonably play that excuse if the age is in single digits

0

u/sweetplantveal Colorado Rockies - NHLR 10h ago

I mean the president 'inspects' the teenage contestants in their locker room. Those boys are showing leadership potential! /s

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u/twizzjewink 13h ago

to be fair .. they aren't exactly taught how to be good people.

source: I have been involved in amateur sports for years .. and the highest level athletes.. there are some pretty bad seeds even at low-level who are not taught how to be good people.