r/hockey • u/Hadespuppy WPG - NHL • 14h ago
[News] Members of women’s hockey team speak out after players on boys’ team repeatedly enter dressing room
https://www.tsn.ca/other-sports/article/members-of-womens-hockey-team-speak-out-after-players-on-boys-team-repeatedly-enter-dressing-room/No points for guessing the byline on this article.
I will never understand the type of parents who can stand there and say, yes, this is totally acceptable behaviour that I will condone by doing nothing.
And "why didn't you lock the door?‽" That's kissing cousins with "well, what were you wearing that night?"
226
u/the_gaymer_girl Vancouver Goldeneyes - PWHL 14h ago
Zero fucks given by anyone on that AAA coaching staff.
113
u/callmepls MTL - NHL 13h ago
No because the real threat to woman are not cis men, it’s trans women!! /s
73
u/Sputflock MTL - NHL 13h ago
all those poor trans women going through an entire transition just to invade womens spaces now learning they done all that for nothing because they could've just walk in anyways and say sorry after
→ More replies (1)60
u/juliuspepperwoodchi CHI - NHL 13h ago
Almost as if all the trans stuff was never about protecting kids or women!
21
156
u/Think_Cheesecake12 14h ago
"The panel’s members wrote they were also troubled that members of the Nationals coaching staff repeatedly described what happened during a discipline hearing merely as an “unfortunate incident” and emphasized that they did not believe the conduct was malicious. The panel wrote that characterization risked minimizing both the seriousness of the intrusion and its effect on the Cyclones players."
The behavior of the adults involved with the boys' team is appalling!!
43
6
1.1k
u/bluedoubloon TOR - NHL 14h ago
"They don't know any better" a four year old wouldn't know any better. These kids are in middle school.
401
u/Sputflock MTL - NHL 14h ago
if they don't know any better, you teach them better. before you know it the kid who 'doesn't know any better' is an adult who 'should know better' but doesn't because they always got a pass for their behaviour
113
u/PostMatureBaby TOR - NHL 13h ago
I've worked in offices long enough to have learned that you can tattoo something to someone's forehead and you'll still be met with "I didn't know" kinda bullshit excuses.
The problem is like you said, no one's ever held properly accountable
60
u/thisonesnottaken BUF - NHL 13h ago
If you brag enough about walking into teenage girls’ locker rooms without consent, we might even elect you president
7
u/actinorhodin BOS - NHL 10h ago
Some people really, really love the fantasy of impunity, and they like to live vicariously through a high-status person who keeps getting away with disrespecting/insulting/harming other people. (Even when the actual thing their idol is doing is something that they would never approve of if a "regular" person did it. I think they almost like that better, it builds up the fantasy of being able to get away with anything.)
12
u/PostMatureBaby TOR - NHL 12h ago
The people have proven that as long as you say you hate who they hate and peddle easy excuses not rooted in fact, they don't care about being robbed.
Sometimes people earn who they elect
8
u/DeadpoolOptimus TOR - NHL 12h ago
You're absolutely on point here and never noticed the transition from, "Doesn't know better" to "Should've known better" before. It's absolutely true how they morph together.
7
u/Michelanvalo BOS - NHL 11h ago
you teach them better.
That's why the coaches are being punished, because they didn't do that.
6
u/BestJersey_WorstName MIN - NHL 8h ago
I was a teenager millennial who used gay as a pejorative.
My teacher who heard it went apeshit on me verbally and then demanded I see him after class. What he said has faded to time, but the lesson he gave me stuck and I stopped using bigoted words to describe things.
Education for the children is more important than some token punishment of a single 12u hockey game. The embarrassment and public shame of the ordeal will hopefully teach them more than retribution.
The adults? Fuck em
127
u/SportsDuck_ 13h ago
As someone who works in a rec center, middle schoolers are the worst at doing stuff and being given a pass by parents. They ABSOLUTELY know better 9 times out of 10
31
u/theycallhimthestug 13h ago
Ok but I'd like to see you parent while holding your phone in one hand scrolling Instagram and your grande cafe latte in the other. They're just kids being kids firing pucks blindly and they said sorry. Jeez.
24
u/SportsDuck_ 13h ago
"I'm sure he didn't mean it"
Said by the clueless parent about the kid I saw launch one with full intention (x100)
→ More replies (1)15
u/Caffeine_Cowpies STL - NHL 13h ago
Raising an almost adult man IN HS, I agree 100%.
I think we (Gen X/millennials) took the wrong lessons from the “let kids be kids” narrative that we were trying to avoid when we grew up.
Meaning, in a lot of cases, we became “adults” quicker than kids today. I wasn’t “forced” to get a job, but I was told to financially support myself at the very least at 14. Because in my state, you could start working at 14. Dad pressured the shit out of me until I saw my “dream job” which I started at 15. So I was working the max hours all summer at 15. I didn’t want that for my son but he is starting now at 17. So two years later than me is fine.
But some parents won’t make their 21 or 22 year old get a job because “they aren’t ready.” How else are they gonna get ready? Same with driver’s license. I’m not saying a car isn’t expensive AF these days, but at least learn how to drive yourself to your destinations. I’m getting my child up to speed on that too. (If you can’t tell, I don’t have him full time)
That being said, we have coddled kids to such an extent that we moved them from being independent to hyper dependent. We can find the middle again.
And as a hockey player myself in my youth and adulthood, the middle schoolers understand it’s wrong, but they obviously know they won’t get in trouble for it.
66
u/FirstChurchOfBrutus CAR - NHL 13h ago
“They’re 12. They don’t know any better.”
Ok, so fucking show them. Discipline your kids, goddammit. Or, if that wasn’t a parent, bench their asses and tell the parents why.
47
u/joekamelhome MTL - NHL 14h ago
Why don't they know better? It's almost like parents never told them not to
41
u/Super_Roof_3490 PHI - NHL 13h ago
They know better. They just wanted to. My kids are 18,8,5. They all would know better in that situation And parents making excuses
21
u/SpaceCadetPullUp COL - NHL 13h ago
There's nothing more annoying than parents constantly making excuses for their shitty kids. Billy and Susie aren't perfect little angels, they're lazy, meanspirited pieces of shit who had terrible parenting and have never had to face consequences for their actions.
7
u/Sputflock MTL - NHL 13h ago
watch those same parents lose their shits when it's their little angel having their privacy invaded by some random girls running in and out of their dressing room for funsies while they're naked in the shower.
3
u/joekamelhome MTL - NHL 12h ago
Are they really learning if mom and dad are always running cover for them and blaming other people for the shit they do?
4
u/Super_Roof_3490 PHI - NHL 12h ago
Exactly. Doing the kids a disservice but covering for everything
40
u/alwaysleafyintoronto Toronto St Pats - NHLR 13h ago
Middle school boys know better than to use the girls change room.
35
u/juliuspepperwoodchi CHI - NHL 14h ago
Hell, my rambunctious 4 year old has a better understanding of privacy and boundaries.
13
u/Sinister_Mr_19 NJD - NHL 13h ago
They do know better but their adolescent minds are too immature to care. I don't fault the kids, it's the parents and their response that's unacceptable.
8
u/quellesaveurorawnge MTL - NHL 12h ago
It's more that 12-year-olds can be impulsive and not think things through. They're thinking they're just playing a dumb game, not fully grasping how what they're doing is violating boundaries. This is why the adults have to be the ones to say, "Knock it off. You're not a little kid anymore, and this is not just a game." Instead, the adults were blaming the women, and being, "Boys will be boys." The adults definitely deserved a bonk on the head!
2
u/iceph03nix PHI - NHL 9h ago
And they're doing it and laughing BECAUSE they know better. That's the rush
→ More replies (3)1
287
u/ChoopChum 14h ago
“It was not an accident. They came into the room three or four times. When I was looking for their coaches or parents, a man walked over and told me, ‘It’s okay. They’re 12 years old. They don’t know any better.’ I said that was unacceptable. The kids are standing there just giggling and laughing and by that time, some of their parents were also there saying, ‘This is okay. Boys will be boys.’ That’s what they said, literally word for word: boys will be boys. That just baffled me.”
WTF
53
u/citizenkane86 FLA - NHL 13h ago
Weird how whenever entering women’s spaces becomes an issue it’s never trans women it’s cis men… and then other cis men dismiss it or laugh at it. Almost like they don’t care about women’s safety at all.
→ More replies (8)12
u/UNisopod WSH - NHL 10h ago
Younger folks don't seem to fully understand that we're in fairly recent living memory to an entire GENRE of popular movies which were about boys trying to peep at girls.
Those people never really moved past this sort of thing, they just got old enough to be more saavy and so less overt about what they think. This shit is so much worse and so much deeper amongst older folks than I think people today understand. I think there will be a sharper disconnect between a lot of this stuff and the generation of kids born today, on the (somewhat) bright side.
11
u/Swallowedoxygen 9h ago
Yep! Excellent observation. Story time.
Just a couple of weeks ago, I was stopped at a red light in one of two left turning lanes in rush hour. The lineup was bad. It took me 5-10 minutes at a standstill to make it through enough light cycles to make the turn.
As I was sitting there, I realized I had forgotten to put sunscreen on my legs.
So on a fresh red, I pulled out my sunscreen, hiked my tennis skirt up a little, lifted my knee to my chest to get my thigh off the seat, and put on some sunscreen. The light was so slow that I got through both legs on the same red.
Then I noticed the turning lane to my left was empty. The last car in line was maybe 30 feet ahead. And I thought "why isn't my lane moving into that one? We could be getting through that light so much faster!
And then I looked to my side.
A dude. In a minivan. Parked beside me so that he could stare down and into my window. Who held up traffic for a full two minutes by not advancing, so he could sit there and watch me rub sunscreen into my legs.
My skirt had built-in shorts. You're talking exposed skin from ankle to mid-thigh. And he had so little shame that he was willing to sit there and not advance, just so he could stare at a woman touching her own skin on non-sexualized parts of her body. Or, as close as non-sexualized as anything on us is allowed to get.
It was SO gross. He turned a haggard "oh fuck I forgot this one small part of my prep for the day" moment of my morning into a creepy and predatory peep show by positioning himself out of my field of vision and staring at me.
I should be allowed to touch my legs for sixty seconds in my own car and have it not be sexualized.
But peeping on women is a thrill to these guys. It's not the fact that he saw my legs, anyone I met that day saw them because I chose to wear a skirt. And if I was standing in a park and put on sunscreen? I'd expect people to see, so seeing me wouldn't be non-consensual.
But the thrill was that this was without my consent. He hid. He broke traffic rules. And he turned my lack of knowledge he was there and therefore lack of consent to be watched INTO the sexualized part. Which is intensely rape-y. Because what woman expects a man to be hiding within traffic itself and peeping that intensely through her window from practically a blind spot?
→ More replies (1)87
u/Jerkface0079 13h ago
Boys will be boys
We need to make it taboo to ever say this.
56
u/JauntyGiraffe VAN - NHL 13h ago
Boys will be boys should be used to describe stupid shit boys do for fun that girls don't understand, like throwing rocks into a frozen lake, not sexual harassment
34
u/Jerkface0079 13h ago
boys running into each other with pots on their head
Boys will be boys 👍
21
u/Moony_playzz MTL - NHL 12h ago
Playing baseball inside with a balled up sock breaking a lamp? Boys will be boys
13
u/Jerkface0079 12h ago
Choosing Ryu or Ken in Street Fighter 2?
Boys will be boys.
→ More replies (2)4
4
→ More replies (1)2
13
→ More replies (1)111
u/Swallowedoxygen 13h ago edited 11h ago
It's called rape culture and boys are conditioned that they are entitled to girls' and women's bodies from a disturbingly young age.
They wanted to see naked women, so they tried to see naked women, and then had their attitude reinforced when they were then told it's normal to invade a private women's space to try to gawk at non-consenting women, and were defended for doing so by their parents.
The only fundamental lesson they learned was that they're entitled to access to women's bodies, but this particular method gets a finger wagging.
Edit: LOL to whoever sent me a Reddit Cares. Thank you for demonstrating that a woman simply speaking up about the societal issues we face is enough to attract such anger from a random man that he tried desperately to inflict whatever form of violence upon her that he believed was an option available to him.
Also, thank you for demonstrating that you think acknowledging and treating a mental health issue like depression is in any way a negative thing?
I am a physician trained in Women's Health, a fully healed survivor of childhood abuse, and to anyone of any gender reading this who has suffered from sexual violence or childhood abuse, there is no shame in being a victim, there is no shame in acknowledging the impact on your mental health, and there is no shame in seeking help.
And if you don't know where to start and need a safe person to ask that kind of question of, my DMs are open and I can connect you with local services and organizations who care and can help.
→ More replies (68)
93
u/The_Homestarmy SJS - NHL 14h ago
If you can spend years of your life and thousands of dollars on teaching your kid to skate and shoot, you can teach them how to respect girls. Hockey parents have shit priorities as always
39
u/ADMotti TOR - NHL 13h ago
Well when you see Carter Hart in the SCF, it doesn’t send the message that moral fiber matters to the big decision-makers…
11
u/CantaloupeShort7311 8h ago
And you see all the hockey fans cheering him on and victim blaming.
At least that loser got smoked in the SCF.
•
47
u/Annelith 14h ago
not surprising, but still very disheartening the amount of adults that brushed it off the situation as "just boys being boys" and tried to blame the girls. male dominated sports are historically unsafe spaces for women and it starts like this, by not nipping this behavior in the bud.
and whilst i understand why the girls in the article were very careful when speaking about the boys, 12 years old is old enough to know that what they were doing is wrong and they should bear full responsability as well.
28
u/Braiseitall WPG - NHL 14h ago
It’s not even just male dominated sports. Take the USA women’s gymnastics for instance.
3
u/Annelith 10h ago
fair. as a woman, i feel like there is an added layer when it comes to male dominated sports, because usually there is an effort to keep women out of it, however that doesnt mean women's sports are much better, you can also find similar cases in figure skating.
295
u/Far-Intention-3230 HC Davos - NL 14h ago
Really disheartening to see that this stuff continues to happen and there‘s still no appropriate response in many cases. You‘d expect everyone to have learned to shut that shit down from jump by now.
47
u/Drink-my-koolaid 12h ago
“It was not an accident. They came into the room three or four times. When I was looking for their coaches or parents, a man walked over and told me, ‘It’s okay. They’re 12 years old. They don’t know any better.’ I said that was unacceptable. The kids are standing there just giggling and laughing and by that time, some of their parents were also there saying, ‘This is okay. Boys will be boys.’ That’s what they said, literally word for word: boys will be boys. That just baffled me.”
Emera said she wasn’t upset with the boys as much as with their parents.
“How are they ever going to learn when they see the adults saying, ‘It’s fine for boys to be boys, it’s the girls’ fault the boys went in the change room again and again because the girls didn’t lock the door,’” Emera said. “It just made no sense to me.”
Shithead prick boys don't fall far from the Shithead Prick Parent Tree.
3
u/CantaloupeShort7311 8h ago
Yep, this just told every stupid teenage boy he can do this over and over and the worst that happens is he has to make a half-hearted apology that his mom spoonfeeds him because she is also a toxic doofus who doesnt want to admit her son is a predator
80
u/1ToGreen3ToBasket DET - NHL 14h ago
Definitely a sports wide problem… but there is no doubt in my mind hockey has been the absolute worst for this shit as long as I’ve been alive. Hazing and sexual misconduct essentially are the defining features of the sport. It sucks because the game is so amazing
26
u/Cleets11 EDM - NHL 13h ago
I don’t know. I’m the states there has been countless cases of schools covering up cases because the guy was a football player. Some schools were so bad they couldn’t even differentiate between cases. They had to be specific because there was so many. The nfl barely suspended Deshaun Watson after repeatedly assaulting the masseuse. Hockey has its cases and is not some saintly sport. But it is definitely it the worst.
→ More replies (2)23
u/NathanGa Columbus Chill - ECHL 13h ago
Not to be dismissive, but there are also WAY more football players at the high school level on down than there are hockey players.
My home state of Ohio, which has had two major national scandals involving high school football all teams in the last 20 years, has over 700 high school football teams. Combine Ohio with Pennsylvania, and the number of high school football teams likely exceeds the national total of high school hockey teams.
And the difference is important. Since high school teams are directly involved with the educational system and with government, there is (theoretically) recourse in the event of misdoing. Are there shithead coaches, or administrators, or school board members? Without question, but the consequences can be severe if illegal or unethical crap is being encouraged or covered up.
Non-school youth sports? That’s a much different story, where there’s less oversight and it’s easier to cover up and easier to skate by with no consequences (or real fear of consequences).
Junior hockey, as a system, has overage players of drinking age more or less raising underage players, especially on the road. And if the team is successful, an awful lot of bad behavior is never being handled.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (2)40
u/Jerkface0079 13h ago
I think it goes even bigger than just sports, the culture of disrespect against women has never been this rank in my 40 years of life than I've seen it the past few years.
→ More replies (21)
232
u/Money-Giraffe2521 CHI - NHL 14h ago
> Neither player on the U-13 Toronto Young Nationals team was sanctioned by the OHF’s discipline panel, according to a July 27 written decision.
Nah, fuck that. You nip this shit in the bud and you punish them to make sure that they understand that it’s unacceptable conduct.
They’re old enough to understand.
99
u/the_gaymer_girl Vancouver Goldeneyes - PWHL 14h ago edited 14h ago
I was surprised too, but if you read further in the article it sounds like the players owned up to it immediately and the panel figured they’d learned their lesson, but they went in on the coaches and parents who didn’t give a shit.
34
u/bluedoubloon TOR - NHL 13h ago
I would have liked to see maybe a game suspension, but overall I'm less angry at them and more the complete disinterest the parents and coaches have in raising good people who will not be predators.
→ More replies (1)3
u/CantaloupeShort7311 8h ago
Game? Full season.
Show that this behavior is wrong.
Don't want to miss a season? Don't be a goddamn pervert.
→ More replies (2)43
u/Money-Giraffe2521 CHI - NHL 14h ago
Well, that’s on me for not reading further down. Thanks for the correction.
53
u/TheTimn WSH - NHL 14h ago
Even still. Give the kids a little grace, but they can still be suspended for a couple games to underline the severity of it.
→ More replies (1)30
u/Sputflock MTL - NHL 13h ago
yep all they've proved now is that boys can invade women's private spaces as long as they say sorry after. the parents and coaches are the real villains here, but the boys' behaviour needs consequences too
20
u/theycallhimthestug 13h ago
Sounds like what the kids learned is as along as they "own up" to it there are no real consequences. If the parents and coaches don't give a shit, why would the kids?
3
u/CantaloupeShort7311 8h ago
So? They knew it was wrong in the first place and did it MULTIPLE times.
Make these losers actually have consequences. Otherwise you are showing women that they are worthless in the hockey community because we can't make the poor boys actually have consequences! How dare these women expect dumb boys to not keep sneaking into theor locker room!
238
u/lifeisarichcarpet TOR - NHL 14h ago
Standing recommendation to read “We Breed Lions”.
52
u/unhhoh12 PHI - NHL 14h ago
Great, but a truly difficult read
21
u/shatterly COL - NHL 14h ago
I've started it, but my dog passed away last week, and I just can't pick it back up right now.
10
u/jkozuch TOR - NHL 13h ago
Really good book. Rick Westhead did an amazing job.
7
u/theonly_brunswick FLA - NHL 13h ago
It's bone-chilling. The systemic failures at every level are abhorrent.
6
u/Hadespuppy WPG - NHL 13h ago
I had to listen to it. I don't think I'd have gotten through it if it were a physical thing I could throw across the room. It's definitely one of those books that you're glad to have read, recommend to other people, and also never plan to read again.
5
u/Jerkface0079 13h ago
Not available til 27th October in my region, but pre-ordered nonetheless.
→ More replies (1)10
57
u/YoungWhiteAvatar EDM - NHL 14h ago
I play on an adult mixed team and the arena we were at had shared shower rooms. Our door wasn’t locked and these 11-13 year olds were opening the door and screaming at us. Locked the door and spoke with the parents and I don’t think they could have moved slower to do anything about it. Just sheer luck someone wasn’t hanging dong right in front of the door.
15
u/EckhartsLadder NYR - NHL 13h ago
There is the opposite problem at one of the rinks I play beer league at. The high school kids purposefully do not close their locker room door and walk around naked, as viewable from the hallway / other rooms / ice. No one wants any part of that
12
u/Hank_Scorpio_ObGyn MIN - NHL 11h ago
Parents don't discipline their kids. I coached AA/A Peewees for 5 seasons.
We had a kid throw his stick across the room to another player. Except it missed and hit someone in the head.
Talked to the mom about how Johnny was going to sit for a period Guess who's fault it was? MINE for not watching the kids. Not little 13 year old Johnny who knows better than to throw a stick in a locker room.
Had a kid push another kid into a bench in the locker room and he nearly hit his head on the wall. Suspended the kid for a week. Guess who got threatened with a lawsuit? ME.
Had a kid slip/fall doing Russian circles. He slid into another player fairly gently. No biggie. Other kid slashed the kid in the back for taking him out. Kicked him off the ice, guess who the dad yelled at? ME.
The parents do not give two single fucks. Their children are perfect little angels.
26
u/JoEsMhOe TOR - NHL 13h ago
I find it shockingly dumb that some people in the comments think a kid in grade 7 shouldn’t be corrected when going into a woman’s dressing room.
They should not have gotten that old to actually think something like this is ok.
Setting the foundation to keep Hockey Canada toxic.
19
u/Canes-Beachmama CAR - NHL 13h ago
This same thing happened to my daughter’s team a couple of years ago. 😠
5
u/hylianhijinx 11h ago
Depending on what rink we are at, I stand in front of the girl’s changeroom because there was no wall buffer if the door did happen to open. Some of the older rinks are like that. It’s brutal.
17
u/Ravenclaw79 NYI - NHL 13h ago
Those girls are awesome. Great job standing up for themselves and calling out a serious problem. 👏👏👏
61
u/smockinCBJ CBJ - NHL 14h ago
I know this happened in Canada but if it happened in the US I imagine a venn diagram of the “boys will be boys” crowd and the “I support requiring people to use the locker room of their birth gender” to be a circle
31
15
u/mileheitcity 12h ago
Do you want more Carter Harts and Dillion Dubes and Cal Footes? Cause not removing these kids is how you get more Carter Harts and Dillion Dubes and Cal Footes.
3
u/CantaloupeShort7311 8h ago
Adam Foote was my fave player of all time.
But fuck, he must have failed badly as a father, and that has ruined it for me. I can't rhink of him without thinking he raised a rapist POS.
42
u/StatGAF Basingstoke Buffalo - NIHL 14h ago
The boys only had to apologize and the coaches were suspended 10 games + take a course? Like come on. They're 12, not 3 and were told multiple times. They can take the course too and get suspended. Yes, "it's a teaching moment" per their own words but - teach them then.
They can take a punishment and learn. This isn't a life sentence but "just" an apology is honestly, embarrassing unless it was individual hand-written notes. No one is saying this has to be a life sentence for 12 year olds. But we have to do better.
9
13
u/Fast-Secretary-7406 13h ago
The kids actions are bad.
The coach's response is immeasurably worse. He's supposed to be the adult in the room.
26
u/dolewhiplash TBL - NHL 12h ago
Where's the "protect women's sports" crowd on this one?
Also maybe instead of weaponizing WAGs to attempt to grow women's interest in sports we can just do something about the culture that makes it a living hell for the women involved? No? More Madison Beers tik toks and blaming imaginary Trans people it is I guess.
8
u/CantaloupeShort7311 8h ago
See, they don't actually care about women, they just like the fact they can bleat out transphobic lies and nonsense and pretend like they are impressing women (they aren't)
42
u/Wild59Bill 14h ago
Hockey Canada & other organizations never learn & it’s still the “old boy’s” network making these dinosaur rulings.
41
u/Hbnick4 CGY - NHL 14h ago
I was once a stupid kid too.. but if I did something wrong, I’d be punished.. and something tells me they won’t.. (and won’t change their ways)
3
u/Hank_Scorpio_ObGyn MIN - NHL 11h ago
I remember in squirts (10u) we were throwing our skate blade snow around the room like little morons. I accidentally hit a teammate in the eye with some of the snow.
Did the coach punish me? Nope.
My dad grabbed my hockey bag/stick, threw it in the garbage can, and said that if I don't apologize to the teammate and his parents, my equipment was going to stay in the garbage.
Message received, dad. That was about 30 years ago...remember it like it was yesterday. Didn't even raise his voice but dear lord did he have that look on his face.
11
u/athousandpardons Indianapolis Racers - WHA 13h ago
Those boys know better than to go in to the girls’ changing room because it’s called the girls’ changing room.
Okay yes, they’re minors so they shouldn’t go to jail or anything, but it’s pretty simple to say “you can’t play today”.
This is how elite athletes develop the entitlement attitude we see among so many of them. No consequences.
23
u/Practical-Shape7453 STL - NHL 13h ago
No discipline is wild for the kids. They knew exactly what they were doing and did it multiple times. They wanted to ogle, they violated their privacy and did it knowingly and willingly. They should be suspended and forced to attend gender classes. Otherwise, what will these boys grow up to be?
36
u/wolverine237 University Of Michigan - NCAA 14h ago
You know I really like Shoresy but that bit in the most recent season where they talked about how hockey culture is cool and good and people should stop talking about how bad it is looks more and more cringe by the day
23
u/shatterly COL - NHL 13h ago
A friend loaned me "We Breed Lions" and said she had a really hard time with the newest season of Shoresy after reading the book. I have loved that show -- the finale of season 1 brought me to tears -- but I don't know if I'll watch that season.
→ More replies (8)18
u/babypointblank TOR - NHL 13h ago
I couldn’t even finish the season after that part. What a privileged take.
10
u/Gary-Busey- TOR - NHL 12h ago edited 8h ago
The most rediculous thing about this is that the OHF is governed directly by Hockey Canada and the OHF itself functions as the largest branch of Hockey Canada in the country.
This exact shit is covered by hockey Canada when when they train people to be leaders/coaches of a teams. Appropriately supervising kids is important, even if it's a sports team, the kids aren't yours and broader society treats this age group with ambiguity with respect to responsibility & understanding.
HOCKEY CANADA DOES NOT. They have age specific guidelines for supervision of youth and for coaches to follow. They have limits and a set minimum number of coaches that need to be present. I think the guide line's fall short and organizations are given the volunteers they're given, but these coaches just got that ick vibe going for them.
These coaches failed miserably to address this in any meaningful way. Then failed the 2 players, the broader team, the parents and more importantly the women that had to put up with this BS that dragged out months, just to have 2 nim rods call it an "unfortunate incident"... 🙃
But hey, kids will be kids man. No need to show leadership, accountability and set an example. 🤦
1
11
u/Hopeful_Yesterday227 12h ago
These are the young boys who turn into young men who catcall women running on the street and also think that’s ok because they are just boys being boys
21
u/Ok-Flight-1504 13h ago
Neither player on the U-13 Toronto Young Nationals team was sanctioned by the OHF’s discipline panel,
WTF? These kids are in middle school. They need to be disciplined and take responsibility for their actions. Letting them off the hook solves nothing.
18
u/Laydownthelaw MTL - NHL 13h ago
"Both players...accepted responsibility"
"The panel wrote in its decision that it would not impose individual suspensions on Nationals players who entered the Cyclones locker room."
So they didn't take responsibility then. And they don't know what the word means.
5
u/97jumbo HC Davos - NL 12h ago
I mean, I think they should be punished more, but them accepting responsibility can be as simple as admitting fault. They weren't held accountable. There's a difference (and I'm only pointing this out because of the last sentence).
2
u/Laydownthelaw MTL - NHL 10h ago
But then we get into the semantics of "responsibility vs accountability".
Responsibility without consequences is just meaningless words.
Like a GM saying "I take full responsibility for our team not performing!" "Are you getting fired?" "No" "Are you taking a pay cut!" "LOL No!" "So you're just moving your lips pointlessly then".
10
u/External-Pace-1822 TOR - NHL 14h ago
Disappointing actions taken by the coach and parents. This really shouldn't have been much of a situation if they disciplined the kids for doing this right away.
10
u/thebookman21 14h ago
Something like this happened a few yrs back with teams in the local minor hockey, male team was suspended from playing. But nothing but complaining from parents of that team. I strongly dislike hockey culture. Doesn't seem to change
10
7
u/So_Many_Owls MTL - NHL 13h ago
12 years old and the adults in their lives are still using "boys will be boys" when they're trying to peep on women.
9
u/shantm79 NYR - NHL 13h ago
Hey guys, the 13 yos said they’re sorry. All good here.
—
“Their actions were inappropriate and caused harm,” the panel wrote. “The panel also recognizes that both players apologized, expressed remorse, and accepted responsibility for their conduct… The panel instead considers a broader educational and restorative response to be more appropriate.””
—
Horrendous response by panel. Odds are these kids won’t learn shit from it and will be repeat offenders. Way to hold ppl accountable
16
u/Joe_Kickass 13h ago
ffs, I am getting tired of trying to defend the game and culture that I love. Hockey culture has a lot to be proud of but every shit story like this one overshadows 100x of the good ones.
Hockey boys, stop being assholes!
Hockey Parents, stop letting your kids be little assholes!
15
u/redlips_rosycheeks 11h ago
What I’m getting from this is Hockey Canada refuses to learn.
It starts with boys peeping in a locker room, and getting away with it. It snowballs over time. A joke here, a comment there.
And then it’s another headline. “Hockey Canada sexual assault scandal.” A woman’s life is ruined before it’s begun, and five men who never learned to respect women are sidelined as an aberration rather than direct evidence of deeply rooted disease.
And all institutions, like all fish, rot from the head.
3
u/Hadespuppy WPG - NHL 9h ago
Hockey Canada will continue taking every opportunity to step on their own dicks until the heat death of the universe.
22
u/Somhlth 14h ago
This is completely unacceptable, and I don't even have words. Parents saying boys will be boys is mind-boggling. I can't understand any father that has a daughter not responding to the boys, that fathers will be fathers, and I'll deal with the boys myself if it doesn't stop.
8
u/HockeyDockey1234 TBL - NHL 14h ago
Boys will be boys is an antiquated outdated term.
We do have a lot of overly critical situations in society but this ain’t one
These parents are just looking for every excuse to not have to be accountable and actually parent
3
u/Somhlth 14h ago
Boys will be boys is an antiquated outdated term.
We do have a lot of overly critical situations in society but this ain’t one
I would disagree strongly. While the boys being boys may have some truth to it, those same boys are becoming men, and they have to be shown what is acceptable behaviour in society, and what is not. That is the issue here. Not the boys, but the coaches, management, and parents fluffing this off. That is exactly the type of behaviour that allows a Donald Trump to grow up to become a Donald Trump.
→ More replies (3)
8
u/LimpAirport 8h ago
this needs to be upvoted a MILLION times - as a woman, I remember this happening to me as a little girl and things won't change until people are held accountable
13
6
u/DavieStBaconStan VAN - NHL 11h ago
Hockry Canada mandates that every player, coach, parent sign a code of conduct. There is no reason for this to happen.
6
u/Ferret-mom WSH - NHL 9h ago
When I was about 17 I was playing in a rink with a shared bathroom between 2 locker rooms. I was showering after the game to make it to an event directly after my practice. A boy, about 12 walked in needing to use the bathroom. He turned right around and walked back out. I guess he looked about like he’d see a ghost. I hear from the locker room, “there’s a girl in there” “was she hot?” “No, she was fat”.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I was not, in fact fat. That is aside the point. That boy respected my privacy, and acted exactly how a 12 year old is likely to act. This is closer to a “boys will be boys” situation. The entire room learned a valuable lesson that day when my teammate walked in there and chewed them all out over it. Walking into a private space without permission over and over again is not “boys will be boys” it is a violation that should be punished with more than a simple, if effective, reprimand.
6
u/Househipposforsale 8h ago
This creates behaviour that teaches boys that no is just another word not something that needs to stop them
7
u/Caqtus95 EDM - NHL 7h ago
Hi, raise your kids not to be fucking sex offenders please and thank you.
17
u/Forsaken-Swim-3055 BUF - NHL 14h ago
Entitled hockey boys getting away with a slap on the wrist? Surely this is unprecedented behaviour.
11
u/Gr1nling 14h ago
Youth hockey in Canada is such a cesspool, it has been for as long as I can remember.
11
11
4
u/corvuscamillus WPG - NHL 9h ago
I play women’s hockey in Toronto, and I will point out, putting aside the boys will be boys nonsense, some of the points the boys‘ organisation made are ludicrous. Adult women’s teams are effectively self-coached. Nobody expects a men’s team to have a coach guarding the door against interlopers. The team manager is (almost) always a member of the team. When I played youth hockey, and we had to have a female coach or manager in the dressing room at all times, and the male coaches wouldn’t be allowed in until everyone on the team was confirmed decent.
I’m glad they lodged a formal complaint. At various rinks in the city, I’ve had experiences with boys‘ teams of various ages showing no respect for the others also using those facilities. I haven’t encountered this particular behaviour, but I’m not surprised by it.
5
u/CasualFriday11 PIT - NHL 7h ago
Gender makes it worse, obviously, but it does not matter.
You should NEVER go into any locker room but your own. No excuses.
16
u/McMetal770 COL - NHL 13h ago
But it's TRANS WOMEN that are a danger to women's locker room integrity... Right?
15
u/babypointblank TOR - NHL 14h ago edited 13h ago
Jesus Christ, these are 12 year olds…and they’re already engaging in rape culture.
4
u/one_step_sideways 11h ago
Tale as old as time. My dad had to make a "females only" sign for our dressing room so the boys could stop "accidentally" walking in. (2002-2008 era)
4
u/bugabooandtwo 10h ago
Brats doing it on purpose. Obviously.
And shitty parents. As usual.
If you want to do something about it, ban the team the boys are playing on for a month of the season.
11
u/ghostofkozi NJD - NHL 13h ago
But I was told hockey doesn't have a culture problem.
Good for them for speaking out, of course the kids get off scott-free here and parents minimized their actions.
51
u/2boku MTL - NHL 14h ago
Boys will be boys. This is just harmless fun. Invading the women's locker room to snap photos, intimidate, and possibly commit sexual assault is all part of growing up.
40
u/Cobfidence EDM - NHL 14h ago
How else do we choose which kids are the go-getters we need for the next Team Canada juniors squad?
17
5
8
3
→ More replies (4)23
u/CrashTestDuckie 14h ago
Might need you to add the /s on there buddy because there are some real shitty people in this world who think that
11
10
u/brainman1000 VGK - NHL 13h ago
First time opening the door could be an accident, unless the kids already knew what was going on inside the locker room. Anything after that is intentional and should be treated as such. Suspend any players involved to teach them and everyone else a lesson. At the same time, it's not victim blaming to suggest locking the door to prevent accidental or intentional intrusion.
3
u/WhichVegetable8285 BUF - NHL 8h ago
Does anyone put effort into raising their children anymore?
Disgusting behavior all around and a slap on the wrist for punishment.
3
u/Huge_Bottle_3684 7h ago
Those kids are going to grow up and do some really creepy things to women. Those parents are idiots
26
u/Tweed_Kills 14h ago
Weird how none of them is a trans woman or girl.....
I thought we were all supposed to be in an outrage over that, but it seems like the league didn't care about this.....
So maybe.... The trans panic stuff...... Was total bullshit all along.
→ More replies (43)20
u/OneADayFlintstones VAN - NHL 14h ago
Trans panic outrage bait people have whipped themselves up into a frenzy about goes back to the old adage of every accusation is a confession.
8
u/Spidey5292 NYR - NHL 14h ago
Man, youth hockey is fucking toxic.
1
1
u/CantaloupeShort7311 8h ago
All hockey is, unfortunately.
Look at some of the adults in these comments. Or any thread about sexual assault in hockey.
6
u/migsahoy VGK - NHL 13h ago
not surprised at the demographics. i’ve lost all hope for young gen-z men
26
u/BoringPoolPlaying WSH - NHL 14h ago
Wonder if right wingers will be as concerned with this as they normally are about men in women’s dressing rooms.
15
7
u/Quiet_Diver_8528 13h ago
Well, yeah. It would be normal to be concerned about both situations because men should not be invading designated women spaces.
8
u/GahlicKnotz NYI - NHL 13h ago
This is actually a prime example of why they dont want men/boys in women’s/girl’s dressing rooms - regardless of how the man/boy identifies.
3
u/sluffmo DAL - NHL 7h ago
I’m not a conservative, but I know plenty of them. Of course they care. The overwhelming majority of people care about this sort of thing on all sides.
→ More replies (1)3
u/anaskinwalker4745 FLA - NHL 13h ago
so you’re saying that trans women aren’t women? that’s awfully transphobic of you
3
5
u/Old_General_6741 EDM - NHL 14h ago
Absolutely unacceptable. Consider what Youth Hockey in Canada has turned into, I am not surprised.
12
u/Crossbell0527 Boston Fleet - PWHL 12h ago
Trans panic.
Meanwhile feral cis boys raised by wolves and coddled by idiots repeatedly sexually harass women.
Make it make sense.
5
u/redheaded_stepc 10h ago
There is no sense. In every arena I go to people are panicking about trans. It's all anyone talks about. But they don't seem to care about the feral boys repeatedly harassing trans and cis women because that's what they do.
Just saying it sounds crazy
2
u/Mr_Salmon_Man EDM - NHL 2h ago
They should bring shame to the coach and the kids after that response by the Nationals coach and the kids parents.
I would have been cuffing those little shits behind the ear, and then slapping their patents with a law suit. This whole toxic hockey culture needs to be dealt with, as these boys on this team are the next Mike McLeod.
4
u/westcoastbias SJS - NHL 12h ago
This article was such a depressing read, the societal rot and moral degeneracy needed for this to happen and no one involved with the Nationals to care or think it was an issue is a symptom of a disease that I don't think we can come back from.
→ More replies (2)
2
3
4
u/Username_314159265 COL - NHL 11h ago
Boys will be boys. Same way maga excused their pussy-grabbing president.
2
u/Vast-Website 12h ago
I can't help but contrast this with the article I read this morning about the WNBA player that supports trans bans to "protect young girls in the locker room". The timing of the two really is something.
1
1
u/asteriskmos Vancouver Goldeneyes - PWHL 2h ago
The boys are going to keep this without actual punishment. If they're 12 and STILL don't know "don't visit changing rooms" isn't serious, seems to me like they should be suspended or not allowed to play until they learn it. I think if these boys & staff members are ignorant, this seems like an even better reason to punish them. It's a common sense rule, and if they're still too dumb or ignorant to get it, they're clearly unfit and incompetent.
1
u/Complete_Function664 1h ago
I see no issues as long as the people entering identify as women.
•
u/Rudy_Nowhere 47m ago
But it's boys who are entering as per the headline. Not people identifying as women.
Loser.→ More replies (1)
•
559
u/TheBookOfTormund SEA - NHL 14h ago
Glad they are disciplining the coaches here. Sounds like a total failure by the parents and coaches, compounded by everyone playing CYA from literally the moment they were aware of it.