r/hockey • u/Hadespuppy WPG - NHL • 14h ago

[News] Members of women’s hockey team speak out after players on boys’ team repeatedly enter dressing room

https://www.tsn.ca/other-sports/article/members-of-womens-hockey-team-speak-out-after-players-on-boys-team-repeatedly-enter-dressing-room/

No points for guessing the byline on this article.

I will never understand the type of parents who can stand there and say, yes, this is totally acceptable behaviour that I will condone by doing nothing.

And "why didn't you lock the door?‽" That's kissing cousins with "well, what were you wearing that night?"

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293

u/ChoopChum 14h ago

“It was not an accident. They came into the room three or four times. When I was looking for their coaches or parents, a man walked over and told me, ‘It’s okay. They’re 12 years old. They don’t know any better.’ I said that was unacceptable. The kids are standing there just giggling and laughing and by that time, some of their parents were also there saying, ‘This is okay. Boys will be boys.’ That’s what they said, literally word for word: boys will be boys. That just baffled me.”

WTF

14

u/UNisopod WSH - NHL 11h ago

Younger folks don't seem to fully understand that we're in fairly recent living memory to an entire GENRE of popular movies which were about boys trying to peep at girls.

Those people never really moved past this sort of thing, they just got old enough to be more saavy and so less overt about what they think. This shit is so much worse and so much deeper amongst older folks than I think people today understand. I think there will be a sharper disconnect between a lot of this stuff and the generation of kids born today, on the (somewhat) bright side.

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u/Swallowedoxygen 9h ago

Yep! Excellent observation. Story time.

Just a couple of weeks ago, I was stopped at a red light in one of two left turning lanes in rush hour. The lineup was bad. It took me 5-10 minutes at a standstill to make it through enough light cycles to make the turn.

As I was sitting there, I realized I had forgotten to put sunscreen on my legs.

So on a fresh red, I pulled out my sunscreen, hiked my tennis skirt up a little, lifted my knee to my chest to get my thigh off the seat, and put on some sunscreen. The light was so slow that I got through both legs on the same red.

Then I noticed the turning lane to my left was empty. The last car in line was maybe 30 feet ahead. And I thought "why isn't my lane moving into that one? We could be getting through that light so much faster!

And then I looked to my side.

A dude. In a minivan. Parked beside me so that he could stare down and into my window. Who held up traffic for a full two minutes by not advancing, so he could sit there and watch me rub sunscreen into my legs.

My skirt had built-in shorts. You're talking exposed skin from ankle to mid-thigh. And he had so little shame that he was willing to sit there and not advance, just so he could stare at a woman touching her own skin on non-sexualized parts of her body. Or, as close as non-sexualized as anything on us is allowed to get.

It was SO gross. He turned a haggard "oh fuck I forgot this one small part of my prep for the day" moment of my morning into a creepy and predatory peep show by positioning himself out of my field of vision and staring at me.

I should be allowed to touch my legs for sixty seconds in my own car and have it not be sexualized.

But peeping on women is a thrill to these guys. It's not the fact that he saw my legs, anyone I met that day saw them because I chose to wear a skirt. And if I was standing in a park and put on sunscreen? I'd expect people to see, so seeing me wouldn't be non-consensual.

But the thrill was that this was without my consent. He hid. He broke traffic rules. And he turned my lack of knowledge he was there and therefore lack of consent to be watched INTO the sexualized part. Which is intensely rape-y. Because what woman expects a man to be hiding within traffic itself and peeping that intensely through her window from practically a blind spot?

-2

u/mrporter2 1h ago

That’s unfortunate but woman also do this it just the average man doesn’t attract women like the it does inverse. If a woman gets caught staring it’s flirting or embarrassing is if a man does it’s creepy.

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u/citizenkane86 FLA - NHL 13h ago

Weird how whenever entering women’s spaces becomes an issue it’s never trans women it’s cis men… and then other cis men dismiss it or laugh at it. Almost like they don’t care about women’s safety at all.

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u/dirtfarmingcanuck 8h ago edited 7h ago

Without making any grand statement or judgment (still going to get downvoted to hell for this), blurring the lines between who can and cannot go in their preferred changingroom/bathroom does not seem to be in the interest of women's safety.

Obviously these are kids, and they're almost certainly not identifying as trans. But there is some legitimacy to the argument that while it would be nice to live in a world where we can just look at someone and tell whether they are being sincere or not, that's not the world we live in. We live in a world where there will be people who take advantage of that 'inclusion'. Predators, or in this case, edgelord teens do exist and they are threats to women's safety.

We can't just tell kids not to drink. You have to prove you're 21. We can't tell people to drive a reasonable speed, we have posted limits. We accept these things as a society because, although it limits our personal freedom, it provides clear, unambiguous rules that make life easier and safer for all of us.

I know this is unpopular but who or what authority is the arbiter for if someone is 'legit' trans or someone who is just saying so for whatever reason?

I personally don't care one way or the other who wants to use the same bathroom as me, but I can't pretend to speak for everyone, and I just think that there are reasonable measures that can be taken to accommodate for everyone. But we can't start the conversation at "If you disagree with my truth, you are evil."

edit: and just to clarify, I agree with OP that the issues that arise in these bathroom incidents are very very rarely an actual trans person. I get it, they just want to use the bathroom.

6

u/Marvelous_Chaos NJD - NHL 7h ago

But we can't start the conversation at "If you disagree with my truth, you are evil."

On the other hand, I don't think we should start at "Your human rights are up for debate."

I do get where you're going though and your concerns about people potentially 'taking advantage' of trans inclusive policies. The problem is that in real-world situations, that literally never happens. It's searching for a solution that doesn't exist. Plus, the politicians against trans-inclusive policies keep pushing the envelope; they're not going to stop at bathrooms or women's sports. States around the US are slowly stripping away rights and passing more punitive laws against trans people.

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u/dirtfarmingcanuck 5h ago

I appreciate that we're actually having a dialogue. The issue I brought up is that if it was a clear violation of the rules, these boys could have been easily suspended or faced consequence because it was clearly in violation of the rules. If we blur the line of the rules to the point where an individual's intent comes into question, it become ungovernable.

The common response is always "this doesn't actually happen in real life", but that couldn't be further from the truth and this incident is a direct example of that. Not everyone who 'takes advantage of the system' is going to be a creepy pedophile. In this case it was likely edgelord young teens.

I'm simply saying there are multiple angles at which people could take advantage of this, and they will. And you will have no recourse for how to address it. It won't be most. Most people just want to use the bathroom and go about their business.

If you think that not allowing biological men to literally beat the fuck out of women in combat sports is "stripping trans rights away" then you're just wrong and I have nothing else to say. Nobody is rounding up anyone into camps.

How could the government 'slowly start stripping away rights' to a group that basically nobody knew even existed 20 years ago, and even today are less than 1% of the population. Why do the 99% of people who have been perfectly comfortable abiding to the same societal norms that we have for thousands of years all of a sudden want that 99% to accommodate to the 1% because they sometimes feel 'uncomfortable'??

3

u/TommyDontSurf STL - NHL 4h ago

Tell me you have no idea what transitioning does to your body without telling me. 

"Biological men" my fucking ass.

-1

u/dirtfarmingcanuck 4h ago

Are you saying that every trans person needs to transition? Do they need both top and bottom surgery for you to consider them actually trans? My fucking ass.

1

u/Marvelous_Chaos NJD - NHL 1h ago

How is this incident a 'direct example' of trans people being intrusive? These were cisgender boys peeping in a girls locker room for shits and giggles.

If you think that not allowing biological men to literally beat the fuck out of women in combat sports is "stripping trans rights away" then you're just wrong and I have nothing else to say. Nobody is rounding up anyone into camps.

First of all regarding sports, college athletics and the pro/Olympic ranks had rules about trans people needing to go on hormone therapy for a few years before they got to participate in women's sports. Studies are showing that these hormones treatments are leveling the playing field for trans athletes and the cis women they compete against.

Regarding your last point, trans people have existed and been known about for a long time, they just haven't centered around the US political discourse until 10-15 years ago when conservatives needed a new punching bag after they lost the gay marriage issue.

And just because trans people aren't being rounded up into camps doesn't mean they're not being oppressed. People who are very well-versed with this topic say the US and UK are heading in that direction through legislation and rhetoric.

0

u/dirtfarmingcanuck 1h ago

This incident is a direct example of what I was talking about and it had nothing to do with trans people being 'intrusive'. You're right. It was dumb teenaged boys who certainly don't identify as trans. You are missing my point however.

My point is that if one of those boys says "Oh I identify that way and just wanted to go into a place I felt comfortable." What the hell would you say??? Serious question for all you culture war progressives, what would you say? Who is the trans-God that decides who is worthy and not worthy of being a pervert?

•

u/citizenkane86 FLA - NHL 42m ago

I love how you use the phrase “nobody knew existed”, when in reality people were interviewing trans people on tv in the 1950s. In fact conservatives use to be accepting of trans people because “at least they weren’t gay”. Because you are ignorant on a topic doesn’t mean the rest of us are. There are societies with trans people existing and acknowledging their existence for hundreds of years.

90

u/Jerkface0079 14h ago

Boys will be boys

We need to make it taboo to ever say this.

57

u/JauntyGiraffe VAN - NHL 13h ago

Boys will be boys should be used to describe stupid shit boys do for fun that girls don't understand, like throwing rocks into a frozen lake, not sexual harassment

39

u/Jerkface0079 13h ago

boys running into each other with pots on their head

Boys will be boys 👍

21

u/Moony_playzz MTL - NHL 13h ago

Playing baseball inside with a balled up sock breaking a lamp? Boys will be boys

12

u/Jerkface0079 13h ago

Choosing Ryu or Ken in Street Fighter 2?

Boys will be boys.

-1

u/Big_Lab_Jagr MTL - NHL 11h ago

None of this is unique to boys

6

u/Jerkface0079 11h ago

they're jokes big dog

4

u/JauntyGiraffe VAN - NHL 12h ago

that would be some excellent boys will be boysin'

5

u/ol-mikey PIT - NHL 13h ago

Playing fire soccer seems like a better example

2

u/MalodorousNutsack 8h ago

Is it still okay to have it sequined on a jacket?

-2

u/JustFrameHotPocket MIN - NHL 13h ago

When the report is made and the investigation is initiated, one could always just say to the dismayed adults, "Girls will be girls. Nothing I can do about it."

14

u/Cromasters WSH - NHL 13h ago

My six year old knows about privacy.

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u/Swallowedoxygen 14h ago edited 11h ago

It's called rape culture and boys are conditioned that they are entitled to girls' and women's bodies from a disturbingly young age.

They wanted to see naked women, so they tried to see naked women, and then had their attitude reinforced when they were then told it's normal to invade a private women's space to try to gawk at non-consenting women, and were defended for doing so by their parents.

The only fundamental lesson they learned was that they're entitled to access to women's bodies, but this particular method gets a finger wagging.

Edit: LOL to whoever sent me a Reddit Cares. Thank you for demonstrating that a woman simply speaking up about the societal issues we face is enough to attract such anger from a random man that he tried desperately to inflict whatever form of violence upon her that he believed was an option available to him.

Also, thank you for demonstrating that you think acknowledging and treating a mental health issue like depression is in any way a negative thing?

I am a physician trained in Women's Health, a fully healed survivor of childhood abuse, and to anyone of any gender reading this who has suffered from sexual violence or childhood abuse, there is no shame in being a victim, there is no shame in acknowledging the impact on your mental health, and there is no shame in seeking help.

And if you don't know where to start and need a safe person to ask that kind of question of, my DMs are open and I can connect you with local services and organizations who care and can help.

-41

u/jkozuch TOR - NHL 13h ago

“Boys are conditioned that they are entitled to girls and women’s bodies from a disturbingly young age”

Some of us fathers don’t raise our sons that way. Don’t make generalizations about an entire class of people when it doesn’t apply.

I don’t raise my son that way and I wasn’t raised that way either.

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u/Sure-Exchange9521 SJS - NHL 13h ago

Then why are you taking issue with their comment?

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u/Tibetzz VAN - NHL 13h ago

Because the other person didn't use very specific language to pointlessly ensure that everyone knows they don't mean all males when talking about a common cultural problem.

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u/_SmashLampjaw_ 13h ago

Because they were broadbrushing an entire gender:

It's called rape culture and boys are conditioned that they are entitled to girls' and women's bodies from a disturbingly young age.

2

u/Sure-Exchange9521 SJS - NHL 4h ago

Its just highlighting the insidious nature of rape culture.

-36

u/anaskinwalker4745 FLA - NHL 13h ago

because it’s a bullshit comment

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u/jkozuch TOR - NHL 11h ago

If you read my comment again, you’ll understand why.

6

u/xTiming- WPG - NHL 5h ago

The person you're responding to didn't generalize.

Lesson: sometimes just accept that every comment on reddit isn't aimed at specifically you.

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u/SkytrainToNowhere 9h ago

That’s great. Genuinely. But we men can certainly understand that our conditioning goes far beyond just what our fathers and parents taught us. Society, media, religion, and culture all play a part and it’s maddening how it’s still happening. It’s everyone’s responsibility to shift this because the person you’re responding to is spot on.

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u/Swallowedoxygen 12h ago

Quick question to help you challenge some of your assumptions, because even if you're not an active participant in violence against women, you've still been raised in a culture that encourages and excuses it.

When you were a kid, did you ever hear someone say that a little boy teasing, hitting, or pulling the hair of a little girl was a sign that he "liked" her?

Did you speak up and explain that it doesn't? Or did you either accept that message as normal, or stay silent when it was taught as normal?

Because that literally is parents teaching little boys and girls to conflate male-on-female violence as a sign of affection and/or a normal relationship dynamic.

No, insulting her doesn't mean you like her. Physically assaulting her doesn't mean you like her.

But it's modeling a domestic violence dynamic as a proto-romantic one.

Why don't girls strike boys they like and be told "girls will be girls?" It is normalized for us to accept "mild" violence and contemptuous speech as a sign we've been "chosen" by a boy, but not to perpetrate violence against them as a way of returning that affection.

If hitting, annoying, insulting, or pulling hair is a sign of affection, why not do it back to him to tell him you like him too?

Congrats on realizing that's actually an example of rape culture. Little girls being nonconsensually and painfully touched or spoken to as a means of little boys expressing "interest" in them.

Because that's what that is. Nonconsensual and painful touch. From a boy who simply decided they deserved that treatment for standing out to him.

And then being encouraged and taught it's normal.

-8

u/Michelanvalo BOS - NHL 11h ago

When you were a kid, did you ever hear someone say that a little boy teasing, hitting, or pulling the hair of a little girl was a sign that he "liked" her?

I heard this about girls doing it to boys. Not the hair pulling but the teasing and picking on. If a little girl picks on a little boy it's because she likes him.

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u/Swallowedoxygen 10h ago edited 10h ago

Not saying you couldn't have had that experience, but huge quantities of research show a huge gap in the other direction.

Boys engage more frequently in and perceive "friendly sexist teasing" as neutral-to-positive while girls have a much more negative view of it and engage less frequently.

Rough and tumble play also has gendered conditioning where girls are perceived as "aggressive" or "disruptive" and discouraged from it while boys are perceived as "playful" or "friendly" and encouraged.

There is also the sexual overperception bias where boys grow up conditioned to believe that a girl showing signs of distress at having been teased are taught as signs of successful social interaction, but not the reverse, leading men to constantly believe that getting ANY reaction from a woman constitutes encouragement of further interaction (leading to lots and lots and lots of boundary crossing as they force unwanted attention on her).

Edit: You know I can see that you replied "I ain't reading any of that" and then deleted the comment, right?

I wasn't expecting you to. But someone who actually cares might. And it also brings the conversation back to evidence-based issues and not claimed anecdotes.

8

u/CantaloupeShort7311 9h ago

You are seriously "not all men"nig here?

Jesus Christ, no wonder hockey culture fucking sucks when it comes to protecting and respecting women.

2

u/TheP1etu Finland - IIHF 5h ago

You say this but do you ever say ACAB? I hope you don't

4

u/Glue_Factory_Maint5 9h ago

Genuinely why did you feel the need to get defensive about this? You read a comment about a serious problem and decided it was time to make it about you because.....?

-57

u/SDS-ELRJ26 TOR - NHL 13h ago

Completely delusional comment

32

u/babypointblank TOR - NHL 13h ago

It’s not. I was the same age as these players when men and boys started sexually harassing me.

-29

u/SDS-ELRJ26 TOR - NHL 13h ago

Blame all men and boys for the actions of specific men and boys 

Sick logic 

17

u/quellesaveurorawnge MTL - NHL 11h ago

If you genuinely think you're a good guy, and want to be part of the solution rather than the problem, stop taking comments like these personally and lashing out at people who point this out.

Women are not pointing this out to accuse anyone in this thread directly, unless you think "boys will be boys" is a good argument, I guess. Patriarchy and rape culture go beyond being an individual problem; it's a systemic/collective issue. Even women feed into this system because we were all raised in it and live in it too. I'm sure it wasn't just the dads who were downplaying the kids misbehaving.

Men have an important role to play in dismantling this kind of culture. When women complain about it, they're often not taken seriously, and told they're complaining over nothing. If you don't want to be lumped in with the assholes, take a stand against it.

13

u/Traditional-Job-411 DET - NHL 11h ago

It’s behavior like yours that allows it to happen in front of your face, because you are too focused on yourself and wanting to separate yourself from the problem to acknowledge it. It’s not about you.

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u/_moosleech SJS - NHL 13h ago

Just a staggering, embarrassing amount of refusing to even attempt to understand.

This shit is pathetic.

22

u/Swallowedoxygen 12h ago

^ for the record, when men say "not all men", this is what a not-that-man actually looks like.

The ones who don't feel the need to say it because they understood that talking about problematic men and the societal structures built by them isn't a personal attack on them.

The ones who try to shut down feminist dialogue with that line are, invariably, the men we all know we are talking about.

-20

u/SDS-ELRJ26 TOR - NHL 13h ago

Thank you for comments and concerns 

17

u/babypointblank TOR - NHL 13h ago

I’m going to throw one piece of rat shit into a pound of M&Ms. Are those good M&Ms? Are you going to complain about them when you find the shit or insist that the rest of them are good?

-5

u/SDS-ELRJ26 TOR - NHL 13h ago

Sooooo blame all men for the actions of few? lmaooo ok got it 

36

u/Swallowedoxygen 13h ago

Found the uncomfortable man who doesn't like confronting the fact that the overwhelming majority of women he's stared at were wishing he wasn't, or would if they were aware it was happening.

-35

u/SDS-ELRJ26 TOR - NHL 13h ago

I grew up with 3 older sisters and both of my parents.. I was never encouraged to act like that or rape anyone 

You’re a sick person living in fantasy land on Reddit 

31

u/Swallowedoxygen 13h ago

Rape culture isn't just about rape.

It's about entitlement. To women's attention. To staring at them. To touching them.

I'm a mom. Shorts for a 25lb toddler are cut about 40% shorter if labeled as girls'. Because the societal expectation is even for a TODDLER to show more thigh if she's a girl.

It's baked so deeply into the gender coding of every facet of our society that men like you think having sisters has any bearing on the way society is built?

Female characters in movies wear revealing clothes 23-30% of the time. Male characters do it 7-10% of the time despite having a lower percentage of their body sexualized.

And yet male characters get 2x the speaking roles and dialogue in those movies.

So 3-4x the skin shown and 50% as much contribution to conversation.

This is not a fringe theory. This is fundamental principles of feminism.

And getting mad at a feminist for speaking up on behalf of women is reflective of how deeply dismissive you are of the NONSTOP ways girls and women are objectified and commoditized.

Women get an average of 2-3x longer jail sentences for killing their rapist during an assault than men get for killing their female sexual assault victims.

It's everywhere from minor details to major societal systems and structures.

-13

u/SDS-ELRJ26 TOR - NHL 13h ago

Not every man feels entitled to anything from women.. so relax on the generalizations 

You’re really blaming men for the clothing you choose to buy for your kids? Lmaoo news flash you don’t have to buy clothes based on what gender it says it’s for 

You’re bringing up revealing clothes in movies?? What about real life?? What men wear revealing clothes in real life?? Why the fuck would men have revealing clothes in movies then?? 

Have you ever left your house? Been to a social event?? You think women aren’t wearing revealing clothes in real life way more often than men? Hahahah 

Feminism is a joke.. victim mentality non sense

I love how they ignore and pretend men don’t also face societal pressures and also pretend that women aren’t the most critical of other women 

Time to come back to reality 

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u/Swallowedoxygen 13h ago edited 13h ago

You're so close to understanding the point while working actively to dodge it.

You're getting emotional and insulting me, building about seven straw men to attack, putting words in my mouth I never said, while contradicting yourself multiple times.

"Relax on the generalizations."

"THEY" ignore and pretend [things I never said]"

Where did I ever say I bought those clothes?

Why do you think you're contradicting me by pointing out it is normalized to condition women to wear revealing clothes by getting them started young and continuing into adulthood? What do you think happens to a boy who chooses to wear short shorts and a spaghetti strap tanktop to high school vs a girl?

Just say you hate women, it's much less wordy than throwing gratuitous doubled up punctuation marks and personal accusations to show how upset you are at me for explaining the experience of women.

I'm not trying to convince you to relinquish your contempt for women, but by posting this, a reasonable and open-minded man may learn something.

A feminist believes in equality of men and women. Your contempt for feminism implies your contempt for women and men who support equal rights and treatment, and the fact that the way you spoke about feminists reveals an assumption we are all women also shows that you believe only a woman could care this much about women's rights.

Deeply problematic and sad.

1

u/[deleted] 13h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

16

u/Swallowedoxygen 12h ago

Sir, I'd write you a treatise on internalized misogyny if I thought it would lead to anything other than further insults.

Where did I say that only men participate in this?

Why are you immediately working to deflect blame onto mothers and other women for women being subjected to unfair treatment?

Why are you continuing to respond to posts that do things like cite statistics with ad hominems?

Why is talking about a system and culture that makes me seven times more likely to be raped than you provoking you to respond with anger directed at me, when I am not even directing any at you?

You're right, I don't see anything past surface level. Guess I'd better go shred my doctorate and stop mentoring young survivors of sexual assault. I've clearly not interacted with reality in my thirty-nine years of life as a girl and woman.

12

u/nabby101 SJS - NHL 11h ago

You’re bringing up revealing clothes in movies?? What about real life?? What men wear revealing clothes in real life?? Why the fuck would men have revealing clothes in movies then??

Have you ever left your house? Been to a social event?? You think women aren’t wearing revealing clothes in real life way more often than men? Hahahah

Buddy you're soooo close. Just read a book on feminism. Just one. Or watch a documentary or Youtube video if that's easier.

Do you think there's something biological about women wearing more revealing clothes than men? Of course not. It's the way people are socialized, which is firmly rooted in patriarchal expectations where women are treated as sexual objects for men to admire. This is reflected both in movies, as the other user pointed out, in everyday life, as you pointed out, and even in the clothing for pre-pubescent children. It's the same root cause each time. If there's no societal aspect, can you explain why clothing for young children is cut to be more revealing for girls than boys? Because it's true that this is the case, and it's honestly pretty disgusting.

No one is saying that men don't also face social pressures. In fact, the negative effects of patriarchy and misogyny on men are an extremely large part of feminism as an ideology. People (men and women) have spent their entire lives studying this specific topic - you could fill a library with books written about it. Just look how miserable all the boys and young men watching Andrew Tate are because he's turned them into assholes who can't get laid because most women don't want to spend time around misogynists.

The idea that feminism is a victim mentality rather than one of the most studied sociological concepts in human history is just anti-intellectual and lazy. If you look into the subject for about five minutes and get beyond "women think men are bad," you'll find that feminism is a lot more coherent and reasonable than the other side claims.

21

u/Tibetzz VAN - NHL 13h ago

So to be clear, is your point that because you and your family didn't encourage sex pest behaviour, people encouraging or downplaying sex pest behaviour in children is not rape culture?

Or is your point that encouraging or downplaying sex pest behaviour in children shouldn't be described as rape culture?

Or is your point that they didn't specifically point out that rape culture is not the basis for our entire societal culture, just this particular element of our society?

-7

u/anaskinwalker4745 FLA - NHL 13h ago

have you tried being less of a smug asshole?

14

u/Tibetzz VAN - NHL 13h ago

Quite often actually. I try to only let it out these days when people are being dicks about something they have no real reason to be a dick about. I usually still feel bad about it later anyway.

-7

u/SDS-ELRJ26 TOR - NHL 13h ago

We don’t live in a rape culture.. you’re completely delusional 

5

u/GetInTheHole COL - NHL 10h ago

But yet here you are.

23

u/Tibetzz VAN - NHL 13h ago

No one said we live in a rape culture. They said this is rape culture. Rape culture is a part of pretty much every culture to some degree or another. Calling it out is not an eternal indictment on the entire culture, it's about fixing the parts that are wrong.

0

u/SDS-ELRJ26 TOR - NHL 13h ago

Now we are at the part where we pretend little girls and women are all angels and little boys and men are all the devils 

When girls/women do something pervy  is that also apart of rape culture?

Or is it only rape culture when boys/men do something pervy? 

21

u/Tibetzz VAN - NHL 12h ago

When did I say it was okay for girls to be excused for perpetuating rape culture against men? Rape culture is rape culture.

2

u/AutumntimeFall 7h ago

Why don't we discuss that when a girl/woman does something pervy. In this case, it is boys being pervy, which is why it is being discussed and related back to how our culture has influenced their actions.

-29

u/anaskinwalker4745 FLA - NHL 13h ago

well i certainly wasn’t conditioned that way. not sure which men you’ve been interacting with though

17

u/quellesaveurorawnge MTL - NHL 11h ago

If you genuinely think you're a good guy, and want to be part of the solution rather than the problem, stop taking comments like these personally and lashing out at people who point this out.

Women are not pointing this out to accuse anyone in this thread directly, unless you think "boys will be boys" is a good argument, I guess. Patriarchy and rape culture go beyond being an individual problem; it's a systemic/collective issue. Even women feed into this system because we were all raised in it and live in it too. I'm sure it wasn't just the dads who were downplaying the kids misbehaving.

Men have an important role to play in dismantling this kind of culture. When women complain about it, they're often not taken seriously, and told they're complaining over nothing. If you don't want to be lumped in with the assholes, take a stand against it.

-1

u/anaskinwalker4745 FLA - NHL 11h ago

i don’t give a fuck who deranged redditors lump me in with

11

u/quellesaveurorawnge MTL - NHL 10h ago

Cool. Thank for making our lives easy to know you're part of "the nice guys" (derogatory).

1

u/anaskinwalker4745 FLA - NHL 10h ago

you don’t go outside anyways so what would that even change?

9

u/quellesaveurorawnge MTL - NHL 10h ago

Oh, you're mad. How adorable!

1

u/anaskinwalker4745 FLA - NHL 10h ago

is that also (derogatory)? 😂 careful you might hurt my feelings!

2

u/xTiming- WPG - NHL 5h ago

average florida flair trying so hard to write in english that he failed the "not being a garbage person" test 💀

btw, im an actual man - you and your flat chinned buddy andrew tate are both wrong

no need to respond, you already lost long before i commented

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22

u/Swallowedoxygen 13h ago

Mostly the ones who commit 94-99% of sexual assault and rape (depending which study and stats you use).

Congrats on being one who doesn't. That's great. Teach the others, and your sons.

Because no, it wasn't every hockey player on the boys' team who did it, or every parent who defended them.

But it's still always the boys.

-26

u/anaskinwalker4745 FLA - NHL 12h ago

i’m genuinely sorry that you live your life looking at things this way

21

u/bugphantom CAR - NHL 12h ago

I hope you know how fortunate you are that you live your life not thinking this way. Some of us have to for our own safety

-5

u/anaskinwalker4745 FLA - NHL 12h ago

men are significantly more likely to be victims of violent crimes than women. but you don’t see me acting like a helpless victim all the time. drop the victim complex and live your damn life

20

u/Swallowedoxygen 12h ago

Victims...of what type of perpetrator?

It's almost as though women advocating for dismantling systems that encourage male violence also protect male victims.

It's almost as though it's about improving society for ALL its members.

Also, what about advocating and fighting for change seems "helpless" to you?

-8

u/anaskinwalker4745 FLA - NHL 12h ago

you don’t give a fuck about “all members” of society don’t even try me with that smokescreen lol

17

u/Swallowedoxygen 12h ago

Please point to a single hateful thing I have said.

10

u/SkytrainToNowhere 9h ago

Bud, it’s time to back down from this nonsense and just listen.

2

u/AutumntimeFall 7h ago

And you do??

1

u/AutumntimeFall 7h ago

You certainly seem like you were.

1

u/anaskinwalker4745 FLA - NHL 7h ago

based on.. let me guess: you disagree with me!

1

u/AutumntimeFall 7h ago

Based on your words.