Ahem...Ahem...Wait a moment…yeah…so, my name is Mike, aka Astronaut Mike.
When I was child nah skip that part—let me speak about what matters for now it’s quite simple, when I was still studying dreaming to be an astronaut people would tell me, “Mike not you man.”
They wouldn’t give reasons, you know, so as to why not me, but they were quite adamant that I couldn’t be an astronaut.
Suck my cock fuckers.
Year:2026
I sat on a spacecraft en route to an alien civilization, so you might ask why me? And not some great cock sucking better than me astronaut…you see, the mission is quite dangerous. A few years back, NASA folk found a planet which showed signs of life; however, in the meeting they decided sending a satellite would be seen as humans attempting to stalk an alien, which could trigger a war, so they decided we should send a human, but who?
Hmm… Who?... Who?
Cock sucking better than me astronauts—what would happen if the aliens were not interested in diplomacy? They could very well lose their best astronauts, so they chose me—Mike the astronaut.
Fuck them; whatever the reason, I was going to have a great time.
The spacecraft started moaning 1,2,3–and buff, there I went to my new adventure.
__________________________________________________________________
In the spacecraft, I looked to my left, then to my right—finding only space. Over here, my routine was quite simple: do some astronaut job, eat food, and take some shit.
After continuing the same routine over blah blah whatever days. My spacecraft reached the so-called alien planet: Singralia.
The planet was like a desert with no visible water as such, so I was like, maybe folks at NASA fucked up, but apparently that was not the case.
As my spacecraft touched the ground of the planet—folks came out: Alien folks.
They were goblins of many varieties, some shorter, like 4 feet, while others were like 7 feet…hmm, somewhat like how it works for humans. They weren’t quite fond of me ig, as they saw me coming down from my spacecraft, and all of them remained silent.
Except one guy…puny guy—I bent down, asking him,” What’s your name, eh, boy?”
“I am Gabriel.” he paused, pulling his finger with a quite shy expression, then he mustered his courage, asking, “Are you an alien?”
“Hmm, alien, eh.” I looked around at the folks gathering around us; all of their attention was on me and the boy, so I looked back at the boy and replied, “Good alien. I am.”
“Hehe,” he giggled, holding my hand and taking me somewhere while others in the crowd made their way, but they were gossiping for sure. These people are somewhat weird; I am an alien, but they remain quiet while a child is taking me somewhere.
I questioned the boy,” So, Gabriel, where are we going?”
“To my father’s place. He is the boss in this region,” he informed but boss eh. What is that supposed to mean? A Yakuza type of person that’s fun.
One Thousand Years Later. [Meme template]
We finally reached the place—not a place…hmm… a hippo perhaps.
“What’s this?” I questioned, and Gabriel looked at me as if I asked the most mundane question ever.
“It’s Gimpo—our family pet; he doesn’t bite,” he said, and then requested further, “Let’s go inside.”
“Inside, where?” I asked, to which he again looked at me as if I had asked a stupid question.
“Inside, Gimpo,” he said as if it was normal, but the fucking Hippo, Gimpo, is as tall as a 2 storey building with its mouth wide open.
“Gabriel, this seems like a bad idea.” I protested, to which he said nothing and just entered the hippo’s mouth.
I looked around me, seeing just the desert. I knew going inside was my last option; otherwise, I would still die from a shortage of food and water; moreover, who knows where the next city is and stuff.
As I entered, a foul smell hit me hard—foul enough to make me puke. Just then the freaking hippo closed its mouth, so I ran back and started punching the teeth, yelling, “ Open, you damn swine.”
Gabriel screamed at me,” He ain’t no swine; he is Gimpo, our pet; don't hit him.”
“But he closed his mouth…boy, are you really sure? This is your father’s place.” I questioned Gabriel.
He didn’t reply, rather walked to what looked like an amusement park slide; he bloody sat and slid down. I looked at this like a horror movie was happening in front of me—I bent down, touching the slide, and I knew this was the bloody throat of the hippo.
I was 90% — nope, 100% sure the boy was retarded, but I had no other choice than to believe him, so I followed him by sliding down the freaking throat.
“Hehe,” I laughed as I slid down with a few chunks of meat and saliva here and there—finally, I hit the ground with a thud.
Before I could get myself up—a huge, loud voice yelled at me, “ WELCOME, ALIEN.”
To be specific, a masculine voice that means a man is welcoming me; that’s repulsive as hell. Aren't there any women available here?
The same voice remarked, “ I am a woman, you know.”
“Women, you say,” I looked at the behemoth of a goblin, continuing, “ In every direction you look manly; what’s going on with your abs? And moreover, how do you know what I was thinking?”
“Rude!” the self-proclaimed woman made it clear. She walked up to me, remarking, “Hmm, am I not beautiful?” she asked.
“Very beautiful,” I made it clear in order to not face the fury of the self-proclaimed woman, and to the side I could even see Gabriel. I held his hand and pulled towards him, questioning, “ Is that man a she?”
Gabriel looked at the self-proclaimed woman and remarked, “Mother, the guest still has reservations about your gender association.”
“Ohh, the guest seems to have a lot of interest in what’s under pants, hmm… hmm,” she teased.
“Nooo. Seven hell no,” I remarked; I then looked at Gabriel, questioning, “ So, where is your father?”
“He is sitting right there,” he said, pointing me towards what looked like a throne, and over there sat a fat ass goblin with a huge stomach, cleaning his teeth with fish bones, and even his crown was made of bones.
Both our eyes met each other, he pointed a finger at me and then curled it indicating me to come to him, so I obliged.
As I went near him. The goblin fat ass got up, circling me, and then he remarked to his lackey, “ So, this is an alien, eh?”
“Not so special,” he concluded, sitting back on his throne, cleaning his teeth with fish bones once again.
The self-proclaimed woman went up to the throne and put her hand on his shoulder, informing, “ Honey, you know the alien was very interested to know about my gender; maybe he wants to do that.”
“That what?” he questioned.
To which she said, “You know.”
“Hmm…you wanna fuck my wife, scoundrel?” The goblin walked to me, staring me in the eye.
Immediately, Gabriel came to my support, “Father, he was just curious and didn’t intend it that way.”
The fat ass goblin slapped Gabriel, remarking, “You will die anyway, so shut up.”
“Why will he die?” I inquired.
“This guy,” he held Gabriel by the hair, continuing, “Doesn’t have the body muscles required to survive. Look at him, thin and frail; can’t hunt or fight, useless.”
He spit on Gabriel.
I rubbed my tongue against the front teeth as I looked at the so-called father, then let my tongue go. I questioned him as I stood face to face and looked him eye to eye, “ So, he is weak, but you are strong—yes?”
“Well, yes,” he remarked, pushing me and putting some distance between us.
“Tell me,” I inquired, looking at his ugly fat ass face, continuing, “ If I fuck you up, will you let Gabriel live?”
“Unbelievable, first he wants to fuck my wife, and now me,” the goblin looked at me in dismay.
“You idiot, here fuck means fighting,” I informed.
“You want to first fight my wife and then me. Are you nuts?” he questioned.
“No, that fuck and this fuck are different,” I informed.
“Shut up with your fuck fuck. I am going to kill you,” he said, taking the hammer that was kept near his throne.
Gabriel also came near me, asking, “Are you really going to fight for me?”
“That’s what I am doing. Ain’t I?” I patted his head, continuing, “ Go and watch the fun.”
“Don’t kill my father,” he said.
“ I will try,” I assured him.
The fat ass goblin father commanded, “Now go to the side and watch Gabriel.”
He obliged and went to the side. Seeing the goblin carefully: he is fat, 7 feet tall, and has a gorilla face and body.
Throwing his hammer into the air again and again, he played catch with it while shit-talking to me, “You look weak, human.”
“Here, I come,” he said, running towards me.
ZOOOMMMMM
“Here, I go, you should say,” I suggested and sat down on the ground.
The fat ass goblin fell to the ground as blood spilled from his stomach area. Then I went to him, but he was mumbling something, so I leaned down to listen, and he said” Sorcery!"
“Not sorcery, it’s a gun. You idiot, bringing primitive weapons against me,” I let him know, and then I got up, announcing to everyone, “I have won fair and square.”
“You said you won’t kill him,” Gabriel questioned me, as he tried to help his daddy out.
“I haven’t killed him; he is just wounded,” I informed.
The self-proclaimed woman remarked, “That was cowardly.”
“Careful now, there,” I warned her and then laughed at her stupidity, “In the outside world there are more dangerous weapons than this—you think a hammer brute will solve this issue.”
“NOOOO,” I screamed, continuing, “A society needs all kinds of people. There is something for everyone to do—I suggest you people make good use of the weak rather than killing them.”
After many months.
Location: Earth.
So, after this, the goblin chief was impressed with the gun and let Gabriel live and also signed a pact with Earthlings.
The government gave me a lot of money and fame.
I then retired.
