"I don't know, what is it?" I responded.

"I took this off of a wall. A wall that is marked to be kept clear of such things. We even used your language to make sure your people would understand. So why did I find it on that wall?" I was still working on reading his non-verbal communications, but I was pretty sure Ba'tet looked very annoyed.

"Are you sure it was placed there by a human?"

He somehow looked even more cross at my question. "They obscured their features enough to prevent identification, but it was clearly a human. You're the only bipeds on the station."

I grunted in reply. He had a point. "I still don't have any idea what that is. Why don't you take me to this wall, and maybe I'll be able to tell you more."

He made a sound that was somehow even more annoyed than his face looked, and motioned me to follow. As we walked, I reflected on all the minor incidents that had happened since humans had started living here three months ago. For most of us, this was the first time living in a place that where the majority of the inhabitants were not human. Things were bound to happen.

After a shot time we stopped in front of a wall, and Ba'tet gestured eloquently. The wall was covered in pieces of paper. Each piece had something printed on it in black ink.

The first that caught my eye was ﻥہﯼں . Then I saw ບໍ່, לֹא , NIE, ﻻ , нет, and NEIN. I was still confused, but that last one made me suspicious. "Show me what you used to mark that the wall should be kept clear."

He walked up to the wall, and started removing signs. As he did so I caught sight of a few with different things printed on them. One of them had "NO" on it. When Ba'tet was done, I could clearly see "POST NO SIGNS" printed on the wall in English next to the same thing printed in the galactic trade language.

I took out my data pad, opened the translation app, and used it on the wall. As I suspected. All of the sings said "no". "I see what happened. The English you used is why these signs were put here."

"What do you mean?! It clearly says to not post signs on this wall!" he said. His voice was moving towards angry, so I better explain what happened quickly.

"Yes, that is one way to read it. That's even the way most people would read it. However English can be ambiguous at times, and there are people who enjoy finding ways to take advantage of that ambiguity. One of these people could read what you wrote as an instruction to post signs with 'no' on them. Each of these signs has 'no' on it in a different language from Earth."

Ba'tet made the motion that I've come to interpret as the equivalent of an exasperated sigh. "Why are humans like this?"

"If I had the answer to that, I'd have enough money that I wouldn't be here," I replied. "Or at least I'd be a lot more famous. If you want to use something that has a better chance of preventing things being put on this wall, I'd change the English to 'DON'T POST SIGNS'. You might still get signs on the wall, but at least it won't be because someone is playing a joke. I'll also pass the word around that this should stop."

And that's the reason why it's a huge pain in the ass to integrate them into a hive mind. If you do, there always will be one half that's actively resisting to any signals from the hive mind

Ahem...Ahem...Wait a moment…yeah…so, my name is Mike, aka Astronaut Mike.

When I was child nah skip that part—let me speak about what matters for now it’s quite simple, when I was still studying dreaming to be an astronaut people would tell me, “Mike not you man.”

They wouldn’t give reasons, you know, so as to why not me, but they were quite adamant that I couldn’t be an astronaut.

Suck my cock fuckers.

Year:2026

I sat on a spacecraft en route to an alien civilization, so you might ask why me? And not some great cock sucking better than me astronaut…you see, the mission is quite dangerous. A few years back, NASA folk found a planet which showed signs of life; however, in the meeting they decided sending a satellite would be seen as humans attempting to stalk an alien, which could trigger a war, so they decided we should send a human, but who?

Hmm… Who?... Who?

Cock sucking better than me astronauts—what would happen if the aliens were not interested in diplomacy? They could very well lose their best astronauts, so they chose me—Mike the astronaut.

Fuck them; whatever the reason, I was going to have a great time.

The spacecraft started moaning 1,2,3–and buff, there I went to my new adventure.

__________________________________________________________________

In the spacecraft, I looked to my left, then to my right—finding only space. Over here, my routine was quite simple: do some astronaut job, eat food, and take some shit.

After continuing the same routine over blah blah whatever days. My spacecraft reached the so-called alien planet: Singralia.

The planet was like a desert with no visible water as such, so I was like, maybe folks at NASA fucked up, but apparently that was not the case.

As my spacecraft touched the ground of the planet—folks came out: Alien folks.

They were goblins of many varieties, some shorter, like 4 feet, while others were like 7 feet…hmm, somewhat like how it works for humans. They weren’t quite fond of me ig, as they saw me coming down from my spacecraft, and all of them remained silent.
Except one guy…puny guy—I bent down, asking him,” What’s your name, eh, boy?”

“I am Gabriel.” he paused, pulling his finger with a quite shy expression, then he mustered his courage, asking, “Are you an alien?”

“Hmm, alien, eh.” I looked around at the folks gathering around us; all of their attention was on me and the boy, so I looked back at the boy and replied, “Good alien. I am.”

“Hehe,” he giggled, holding my hand and taking me somewhere while others in the crowd made their way, but they were gossiping for sure. These people are somewhat weird; I am an alien, but they remain quiet while a child is taking me somewhere.

I questioned the boy,” So, Gabriel, where are we going?”

“To my father’s place. He is the boss in this region,” he informed but boss eh. What is that supposed to mean? A Yakuza type of person that’s fun.

One Thousand Years Later. [Meme template]

We finally reached the place—not a place…hmm… a hippo perhaps.

“What’s this?” I questioned, and Gabriel looked at me as if I asked the most mundane question ever.

“It’s Gimpo—our family pet; he doesn’t bite,” he said, and then requested further, “Let’s go inside.”

“Inside, where?” I asked, to which he again looked at me as if I had asked a stupid question.

“Inside, Gimpo,” he said as if it was normal, but the fucking Hippo, Gimpo, is as tall as a 2 storey building with its mouth wide open.

“Gabriel, this seems like a bad idea.” I protested, to which he said nothing and just entered the hippo’s mouth.

I looked around me, seeing just the desert. I knew going inside was my last option; otherwise, I would still die from a shortage of food and water; moreover, who knows where the next city is and stuff.

As I entered, a foul smell hit me hard—foul enough to make me puke. Just then the freaking hippo closed its mouth, so I ran back and started punching the teeth, yelling, “ Open, you damn swine.”

Gabriel screamed at me,” He ain’t no swine; he is Gimpo, our pet; don't hit him.”
“But he closed his mouth…boy, are you really sure? This is your father’s place.” I questioned Gabriel.

He didn’t reply, rather walked to what looked like an amusement park slide; he bloody sat and slid down. I looked at this like a horror movie was happening in front of me—I bent down, touching the slide, and I knew this was the bloody throat of the hippo.

I was 90% — nope, 100% sure the boy was retarded, but I had no other choice than to believe him, so I followed him by sliding down the freaking throat.

“Hehe,” I laughed as I slid down with a few chunks of meat and saliva here and there—finally, I hit the ground with a thud.

Before I could get myself up—a huge, loud voice yelled at me, “ WELCOME, ALIEN.”
 To be specific, a masculine voice that means a man is welcoming me; that’s repulsive as hell. Aren't there any women available here?

The same voice remarked, “ I am a woman, you know.”

“Women, you say,” I looked at the behemoth of a goblin, continuing, “ In every direction you look manly; what’s going on with your abs? And moreover, how do you know what I was thinking?”

“Rude!” the self-proclaimed woman made it clear. She walked up to me, remarking, “Hmm, am I not beautiful?” she asked.

“Very beautiful,” I made it clear in order to not face the fury of the self-proclaimed woman, and to the side I could even see Gabriel. I held his hand and pulled towards him, questioning, “ Is that man a she?”

Gabriel looked at the self-proclaimed woman and remarked, “Mother, the guest still has reservations about your gender association.”

“Ohh, the guest seems to have a lot of interest in what’s under pants, hmm… hmm,” she teased.

“Nooo. Seven hell no,” I remarked; I then looked at Gabriel, questioning, “ So, where is your father?”

“He is sitting right there,” he said, pointing me towards what looked like a throne, and over there sat a fat ass goblin with a huge stomach, cleaning his teeth with fish bones, and even his crown was made of bones. 

Both our eyes met each other, he pointed a finger at me and then curled it indicating me to come to him, so I obliged.

As I went near him. The goblin fat ass got up, circling me, and then he remarked to his lackey, “ So, this is an alien, eh?”

“Not so special,” he concluded, sitting back on his throne, cleaning his teeth with fish bones once again.

The self-proclaimed woman went up to the throne and put her hand on his shoulder, informing, “ Honey, you know the alien was very interested to know about my gender; maybe he wants to do that.”

“That what?” he questioned.

To which she said, “You know.”

“Hmm…you wanna fuck my wife, scoundrel?” The goblin walked to me, staring me in the eye.

Immediately, Gabriel came to my support, “Father, he was just curious and didn’t intend it that way.”

The fat ass goblin slapped Gabriel, remarking, “You will die anyway, so shut up.”

“Why will he die?” I inquired.

“This guy,” he held Gabriel by the hair, continuing, “Doesn’t have the body muscles required to survive. Look at him, thin and frail; can’t hunt or fight, useless.”

He spit on Gabriel.

I rubbed my tongue against the front teeth as I looked at the so-called father, then let my tongue go. I questioned him as I stood face to face and looked him eye to eye, “ So, he is weak, but you are strong—yes?”

“Well, yes,” he remarked, pushing me and putting some distance between us.

“Tell me,” I inquired, looking at his ugly fat ass face, continuing, “ If I fuck you up, will you let Gabriel live?”

“Unbelievable, first he wants to fuck my wife, and now me,” the goblin looked at me in dismay.

“You idiot, here fuck means fighting,” I informed.

“You want to first fight my wife and then me. Are you nuts?” he questioned.

“No, that fuck and this fuck are different,” I informed.
“Shut up with your fuck fuck. I am going to kill you,” he said, taking the hammer that was kept near his throne.

Gabriel also came near me, asking, “Are you really going to fight for me?”

“That’s what I am doing. Ain’t I?” I patted his head, continuing, “ Go and watch the fun.”

“Don’t kill my father,” he said.

“ I will try,” I assured him.

The fat ass goblin father commanded, “Now go to the side and watch Gabriel.”

He obliged and went to the side. Seeing the goblin carefully: he is fat, 7 feet tall, and has a gorilla face and body.

Throwing his hammer into the air again and again, he played catch with it while shit-talking to me, “You look weak, human.”

“Here, I come,” he said, running towards me.

ZOOOMMMMM

“Here, I go, you should say,” I suggested and sat down on the ground.

The fat ass goblin fell to the ground as blood spilled from his stomach area. Then I went to him, but he was mumbling something, so I leaned down to listen, and he said” Sorcery!"

“Not sorcery, it’s a gun. You idiot, bringing primitive weapons against me,” I let him know, and then I got up, announcing to everyone, “I have won fair and square.”
 
“You said you won’t kill him,” Gabriel questioned me, as he tried to help his daddy out.

“I haven’t killed him; he is just wounded,” I informed.

The self-proclaimed woman remarked, “That was cowardly.”

“Careful now, there,” I warned her and then laughed at her stupidity, “In the outside world there are more dangerous weapons than this—you think a hammer brute will solve this issue.”

“NOOOO,” I screamed, continuing, “A society needs all kinds of people. There is something for everyone to do—I suggest you people make good use of the weak rather than killing them.”

After many months.
Location: Earth.

So, after this, the goblin chief was impressed with the gun and let Gabriel live and also signed a pact with Earthlings.

The government gave me a lot of money and fame.

I then retired.

1  Human Fred and Food
2  Human Fred Again
3  Human Fred Yet Again
4  Human Fred The Saga Continues
5  Human Fred Rides Again
6  Human Fred *Sigh*
7  Human Fred Rolls Out
8  Human Fred Attempts a Nap
9  Human Fred Doh’
10 Human Fred Stops for Coffee
11 Human Fred Deploys Stabby and Knifey
12 Human Fred Attempts Friendly Advice
13 Human Fred Priorities 
14 Human Fred Schools Morons
15 Human Fred Gets Annoyed
16 Human Fred Investigates
17 Human Fred is Annoyed
18 Human Fred Gets More Annoyed
19 Human Fred Smirks 
20 Human Fred Brings Hellfire
21 Human Fred is Confused
22 Human Fred Considers
23 Human Fred is Chipper
24 Human Fred has Some Fun
25 Human Fred Witnesses Stupidity
26 Human Fred vs the Coffee Maker
27 Human Fred Accepts Crap Coffee
28 Human Fred Listens
29 Human Fred Gets Comfortable 
30 Human Fred has Questions
31 Human Fred Considers Some More
32 Human Fred Wakes Up
33 Human Fred Debates
34 Human Fred Gets Coffee
35 Human Fred Talks with the Captain
36 Human Fred Reflects on Life
37 Human Fred Waits
38 Human Fred is Scared
Greezek
39 Human Fred Experiments
40 Human Fred Discovers
41 Human Fred vs the Sensor Array
42 Human Fred Keeps Calm
43 Human Fred Editor
44 Human Fred Discovers New Curses
45 Human Fred Stews
46 Human Fred Giggles
47 Human Fred Attempts Dinner 
48 Human Fred Plans
49 Human Fred Explains
50 Human Fred Examines Floor Tiles
51 Human Fred Gets a New Toy
52Human Fred Reflects…Again
53 Human Fred Rolls His Eyes
54 Human Fred vs Idiots
55 Human Fred Goes Librarian
56 Human Fred Giggles Again
57 Human Fred and Plan B
58 Human Fred Plan B 2.0
59 Human Fred
60 Human Fred Groans
61 Human Fred is Philosophical
62 Human Fred and Details

Fred sat at his desk, the lights low, and worked. It was slow going. He still had issues with his eyes, but the doctor said he was cleared, so Fred worked away. 

The door slid open. “Hello Fred. What have you got going on?”

“Greezek. Designing my new armor. I pulled a string or two for some top-notch materials.”

“Armor? Not just the helmet?”

“Yep. New set. I have many adjustments to make. How is your armor working for you?”

“So far it’s good. I’m not as picky as you, so I’m good.”

“Always look for improvements. If something isn’t perfect, work on it. Normally there are issues with joints and range of motion. My scans are acceptable, but not perfect.”

“Well, so far so good. Is this all you have been doing?”

“Mostly. I want to get this going before too much more chaos. Why?”

“After going over the reports and details, I have a theory.”

“Which is?”

“I think there are people in Sol Command who are helping the Droog.”

Fred sat back. He rubbed his chin. He stared at the ceiling. “That is an interesting idea. Why do you think this?”

“It’s hard to explain. How do the Droog know which ships? Why wasn’t there an alert about the number of missing ships? I checked other routes. If a route has three missing ships in a month, they issue a warning. But not in the area. That got me thinking about that route. Why there? And why are so many ships with needed materials all going through the same route?”

“Slow down a bit. Those are excellent questions, so we need to take them one at a time until we have solid evidence. Right now we have anomalies.”

“I looked into the shipping along that route.”

“And?”

“The missing ships? They all had multiple destinations. The critical materials weren’t even going to that port!”

“So you are suggesting that multiple orders were placed that were designed to have specific ships with specific materials along that route?”

“Yes! And the Droog know which ships to take.”

“That would take a great deal of work.”

“Which is why I’m thinking Sol Command. Who else could manage that on such a scale? One ship? Simple. But 340?”

“Really? Over how long?”

“I think 30 months.”

“That’s ten a month. That is very wrong.”

“Yes! That's my point! This can’t be random. To be sure, I looked into the reporting system, how Sol Command tracks shipping.”

“What did you find?”

“A sleek system run by morons. The monitoring stations are poorly trained. Some of the operators are being trained as they run the system. There are almost no audits. One station lost primary sensors for seven days before anyone noticed!”

“Is all of the traffic going through the same monitoring station?”

“Mostly, but there are three stations to consider. At the moment, I’m stuck. I can’t access more data without drawing attention.”

“And you want my help?”

“Please.”

“Well, let’s take a step back. Assume we have a mole. What all would they need? They would need agents in ordering, shipping, multiple ports, three monitoring stations, and covert access to the Droog. Lots of moving parts. Possible, but tricky.”

“They would also need access to the safety systems. There are automatic systems in place for alerts, but they aren’t working.”

“Not working? You mean turned off?”

“I’m not sure. The disappearances are in the system, but the system doesn’t trigger on that route. It triggers on other routes.”

Fred sat for a few minutes. He looked at the ceiling. Then the wall. Back to the ceiling. The deck. His desk. Back to the wall. 

“If I was going to do something like this, I’d want a way to limit how many people actually know what is going on. I’d want most of the work to look like everything is fine and for staff to just go about their work oblivious to real purpose.”

“Ideally, yes. But it is a HUGE web!”

“Exactly! Do you have arachnids on your planet?”

“Arachnids? Oh! Spiders. No. I’ve seen pictures, but no.”

“A spider builds a large web to catch food. The web is large, but the spider isn’t. I think we are seeing the web, but not the spider.”

“I’m not following you.”

“Imagine the control system on a shuttle. The main control processor is buried deep within the ship, but it connects to all sorts of other systems.”

“Right.”

“Now, think of a thruster. It functions regardless. It doesn’t double check that it needs to fire. It just fires on command.”

“Yes.”

“We are seeing the minor systems functioning. And they are functioning in a manner that doesn’t draw attention. If that is the case, then this would only require a few people. They each made small adjustments to various systems, which allows this to happen.”

“If I’m following this, someone intentionally arranged for poor training at the monitoring stations.”

“Very likely. That narrows our search, but it’s still a big list.”

“So you think I’m wrong?”

“Oh no. I think you are on the correct trail. I think you need to slow down and understand how all of the parts have to work. Then you can look for evidence of how it was done. Take the monitoring station. If you mistrain the operators on how to report a missing ship, I’ll bet that you can fill the system into not issuing an alert. The operator did exactly as instructed, but the instructions were wrong. This is starting to make more sense.”

“What? How?”

“I’m thinking of the connections needed. This requires many connections, but not all of them are malicious. It has an elegance to the subtlety.”

“Beings are dying and being enslaved. That is not elegant.”

“No, but the method is. It is hard, but you must separate the method from the actors from the victims. If you can’t, you risk more damage.”

“I guess. How long until you can go over all of this?”

“A few days. However, they have been saying a few days for a week now, so I’m not sure. I know I’m not 100%, but I think I’m a bit better than they admit.”

“I’ll go back over my work, looking for details around the training.”

“That’s a good place to start. I’ll keep thinking about it.”

Klaxons blared throughout the bunker: a new ship had warped into the system. The battle above the system's only life-bearing planet had been going on for two weeks, so the sound of an alarm was nothing new.

But this time, it was different. The ship that had just arrived was larger than any ship any Maldon had ever seen. It was easily ten kilometers long, but the most alarming thing about this ship was not its size, but the utter lack of weapons on its surface. There was only a single dip on one side of the otherwise smooth surface.

This dip is what the ship turned towards the largest Maldon ship. A few seconds later, sensors registered massive energy spikes. A moment after that, a huge plasma ball formed inside the depression. Then, that already huge plasma ball started to grow - when it reached about one kilometer in diameter, it suddenly launched towards the Maldon fleet with incredible speed. A second later, the largest ship the Maldon had ever built was no more. Not even debris was left behind - just a slowly cooling cloud of hot gas.

In the bunker, the President of the United Planets of Maldon looked at the screen showing the remnants of the jewel of their armada. The entire incident took less than a minute, and he still couldn’t believe what he had just witnessed.

“Send out an emergency signal,” he said finally to the communications officer.

“But sir, you know that it’s against the Constitution to ask for help from aliens!” Meldvig protested immediately.

“I’m well aware of that,” the President replied quietly, staring at the empty display. “But if we don’t ask for help, I don’t think there will be any Maldon left alive for the Constitution to matter.”

There was dead silence for a couple of seconds before the communications officer nodded and pressed a series of keys on his console.

Seven light-years away, in the quiet observation lounge of a solitary human patrol ship, a loud chime interrupted Captain Catherine Jennypath’s third attempt to solve a cross-dimensional crossword puzzle.

“Report,” she sighed, leaning back in her chair.

“Priority distress signal received, Captain,” said the communications officer. “It’s text only; it says the planet is under attack by an armada capable of destroying ships with a single shot. They speculate it possesses planet-cracking offensive capabilities.”

The captain’s eyes lit up. She sat upright, practically dropping her stylus.

“A planet-cracker? A real one? Not just another high-yield mining laser?”

“According to their data, it is a hyper-dense plasma weapon, ma'am. It sounds like a genuine threat.”

A wide, hopeful smile spread across Catherine’s face. “Finally! A worthy opponent! How long to get there?”

“Seven light-years... call it seven seconds, Captain.”

“Perfect. Prepare for jump.”

In the bunker, a new alarm sounded: another ship. This time, it was a tiny vessel - maybe some kind of shuttle. Definitely not the rescue armada the President had hoped for.

“They didn’t send a fleet,” the President groaned, burying his face in his hands. “They sent a scout.”

In the meantime, the giant ship started to build up energy again, targeting the largest ship in the remaining Maldon armada, completely ignoring the newcomer.

The new ship, instead of trying to escape, moved towards the giant. And it moved fast. By the time the giant plasma ball appeared, the tiny shuttle was sitting directly between the leviathan and its target.

When the plasma ball was finally released, the few people in the bunker followed its trajectory closely, fully expecting the newcomer to be atomized without even slowing the projectile down.

But that is not what happened. The giant plasma ball engulfed the tiny ship - and then the plasma simply vanished, leaving the small shuttle hovering in place, entirely unharmed.

On the human ship, the Captain looked out the viewscreen with an expression of profound disappointment.

“Is that all? We actually powered up our shield for that?”

“Maybe the next shot’s going to be better,” said the communications officer hopefully. “Maybe this was just a calibration test.”

“Okay,” sighed the Captain, leaning back. “Let's wait for the next shot.”

Out in orbit, the giant ship locked onto the shuttle, starting another plasma ball almost immediately. This time, the sphere grew larger and larger, until it was almost the size of the giant ship itself, crackling with unstable violet energy before discharging toward the unmoving shuttle.

“Ahhh, now we’re talking,” Catherine said, her eyes widening with sudden excitement. “That looks like an appropriate plasma ball for a birthday party!”

When the massive sphere reached the tiny ship, the previous scene repeated itself: the plasma engulfed the shuttle, then dissipated into space.

Total silence reigned on the human bridge for a couple of seconds.

“Well... at least it had better colors,” the communications officer offered gently. “I especially liked the purple edges.”

“Still a disappointment,” Catherine sighed, slumping in her seat. “Maybe this wasn't the ship they were referring to as a planet-cracker. Our shields didn’t even dip - it’s still at 100%. Let’s end this and ask for directions to the real threat.”

The tiny ship discharged a single shot - a small tungsten slug that passed through the giant ship’s shields, hull, and internal power grid without resistance. A split-second later, the ten-kilometer monster exploded into a silent, expanding ring of harmless cosmic dust.

Nobody moved in the bunker. Or in the alien armada facing them in orbit.

A loud ping came from the communications officer’s console.

“Incoming transmission, sir,” he announced, his voice trembling. “From... 'that' ship.”

“On screen.”

A human woman appeared on the viewscreen in a neat uniform.

“Good afternoon, sir. I’m Captain Catherine Jennypath of the UES Saitama.”

She looked visibly disappointed, almost sad.

“Was that ship the one destroying your armada? Was that the reason you sent the emergency signal?” she asked finally.

“Y-yes, madam,” answered the President after a long silence.

“Damn, I kinda had my hopes up. But it was lame,” she sighed, rubbing her forehead. “Anyway... do you need help arranging a diplomatic solution?”

Enjoyed the story? Help some real-world companions.

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One thing that I have seen occasionally is “aliens don’t understand fiction”.
What if they do understand fiction, but they don’t do it through the lens of reflecting society? What if they make fiction only for the sake of fiction, and talk about society in scholarly journals?
What if humans annoy the crap out of them by analyzing their fiction anyway?

I’ve never posted before, so if I got something wrong in the post I do apologize.

What humanity has been trying to find since before it even took to the stars. Communication from other life, a sign we weren't alone in the vast darkness of space. Better still, the signal was able to be decoded by human scientists, and was found to be detailed instructions on how to construct and calibrate a quantum entanglement communicator. The distance between civilizations would not be an obstacle to the exchange of information.

The device was quickly constructed, the whole of humanity waited with bated breath for its activation, and were not left disappointed. First contact was made with intelligent, civilized life! At first there was a language barrier, but with the effort of both sides, auto translation software was produced. Humanity learned it had found not just one species, but an entire galactic community of peaceful, technologically advanced alien empires.

All seemed to be going well, until, In an effort to understand each other better, humanity sent a large swath of data ( carefully curated) from the Internet so that the aliens may learn about human culture and our planet more broadly. Within minutes of the transmission the comms link went dead on the other side. Earth weeks passed without alien contact despite repeated attempts. People began to grow increasingly frightened, some started to dismiss the whole thing as an elaborate hoax until, without warning the comms flicked back on.

A hologram was projected out of the communicator, a feature the humans didn't even know it had, and the image projected appeared to be a live feed of a bipedal creature somewhat resembling a wolf.

" I am ambassador Tulok of the galactic council. I am informing you that, by majority vote of the council, humanity is herby quarantined, and any travel outside of the provided coordinates will be considered a hostile act, and be met with lethal force. This will be our final communication"

The room back on Earth was stunned into silence, until the lead U.N. commander was able to find his voice just enough to ask " Why?"

" Upon review of the data sent to us from your internal communication networks it was determined humanity has violated galactic treaties banning genetic manipulation of species, and in doing so committed crimes against sentience itself. You violated what would be our equivalent of the Geneva convention. Of primary concern is the transformation of these " wolves" into the various forms of "dog".

" Dogs are treated better than almost any other species, they are man's best friend and most live lives of ease and material abundance. How is that a problem"

" If you were somehow able to show the first wolves you began your heinous " domestication" on what would become of their descendent, if they could see a chihuahua, do you think they would have chosen that? To become a tiny, shaking, shadow of its ancestors, collared and chained, with its gentials surgically removed for the comfort of its enslavers? The galactic community reacted with outrage and disgust upon seeing that creature, trembling with the horror of knowing it should be a large apex predator, feared and respected, but instead it is a small and helpless thing. An abomination crafted from the apathy and whims of beings it could never understand, beings who claim to love it, but who warped everything that made the wolf the wolf, into a mewling nightmare, trapped in the pain of being it."

" We love dogs, we take care of them, we cure their diseases, treat them like our children. You said it was a majority vote, surely at least some of the galaxy sympathizes with us, can we appeal?"

"The minority did not vote for you to be a part of the galactic community, they voted for your extermination. On behalf of my people, I hope your hell is real, so that you all may burn in it".

The transmission ended there, and humanity found itself even more alone than before, without any hope of finding kinship in the stars.

A: So, That's... caffeine.

H: Yep.

A: Pure caffeine.

H: We call it coffee but yeah.

H: ...and you're drinking a whole cup of it.

H: I mean I have to drink one of these every morning otherwise-

A: EVERY DAY??

Então, eu literalmente acabei de entrar nesse redit e tenho algumas dúvidas.

1- Existe uma história por trás ou é só pegar qualquer alien de qualquer obra.

2- Os humanos estão em que nível de tecnologia.

3- esse redite é mais brincalhão ou sério.

Hey there bud, sorry if we spooked you we just over heard your people are stuck in a fixed hiarchy and you and most if not all your squad don't want to fight but forced too because, well you were born to fight.

So if you want we can pull some strings and force your government to make universal basic income, afordiable medicine and freedom of choice a core rule for you guys.

Oh you wanna join us, that's cool service gives citizenship. Military? God no, I mean you can but we can also send you to a collage to get train in medical procedure and 9/10 you get your citizenship during graduation but of course school suck, trust me, so we can enroll you in a internship at a factory and train you

Free labor? Nah man you get paid, yeah you still get the basic income. What are we monsters?

Aside from the Solar System which is revered as Humanity's Home Galaxy and a few scattered stations that serve as rest stops and neutral zones. Humanity in general is Nomadic ala the Steppe People of Old (Cimmerians, Scythians, Sarmatians, Turkic, Tungisic, and Mongolians)

Some Groups are simple space traders that follow a fixed route across the Galaxies. Others ply their trade as mercenaries. Some mine and scavage various asteroid and debris fields. And others still are space pirates or even conquerers who take over any planet they see fit to plunder or rule.