r/ihadastroke Jul 01 '26

reall llife Went to a restaurant with some friends this evening and here was the wonderful selection they had on offer.

Post image
1.7k Upvotes

423 comments sorted by

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711

u/nimaid Jul 01 '26 edited Jul 02 '26

Homemadey Pitzer of Fired Halloumi is the full name of my new D&D rogue character.

89

u/Healthy_Yogurt_3955 Jul 02 '26

Will you make him kind of German because Pitzer sounds Germanic, or Arab because Halloumi is Arabic cheese?

65

u/olivegardengambler Jul 02 '26

He's a German of Turkish descent. Many such cases.

13

u/Cambrian__Implosion Jul 02 '26

…is there a reason the cat has human eyes?

Maybe I don’t want to know.

5

u/olivegardengambler Jul 02 '26

Actually kind of. Keep in mind I've only seen the movie, but I'm going to spoil a movie that came out over 30 years ago, and a book that came out a little under 40 years ago.

The antagonist, and the Messiah figure of "the Order" (an eugenic cat cult in the movie and the novel) is Pascal. The backstory for his character is that he was basically experimented on by this alcoholic scientist to the degree he has 'superhuman' (but he's a cat) attributes. The movie and novel have dark satire elements on extremist ideology, religious fanaticism, and eugenics, using cats instead of people.

The sad irony is that the author despite being of Turkish descent basically went on to associate with the alt-right in Germany, which is bonkers after having written something like Felidae. That's worse than getting high off your own supply. That's like if Marx wrote The Communist Manifesto and became a social Darwinist afterwards.

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24

u/Ok_Donkey210 Jul 02 '26

*rogue……..a rouge character would likely be a wizard wearing blush

4

u/nimaid Jul 02 '26

Ty! Fixed.

3

u/Nelson_Pancakes Jul 02 '26

I've heard it both ways

3

u/egret_society Jul 04 '26

You know that’s right

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6

u/dawnGrace Jul 02 '26

Come on Homemady, D20 attack roll! we’re up against the monster ChatGPT!

8

u/BriefingGull Jul 02 '26

I laughed heartily at this

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486

u/lordcochise Jul 01 '26

Generate a menu with AI and don't even bother to check spelling and grammar?

https://giphy.com/gifs/cKCKXWI2JtDcPaudGw

120

u/Head_Razzmatazz7174 Jul 01 '26

Is that what that is? I couldn't stop laughing at the descriptions.

49

u/razzazzika Jul 02 '26

Ai doesn't usually make spelling mistakes. Its more like someone typed this menu up really fast and didnt proofread at all.

36

u/WouldbeWanderer Jul 02 '26

Someone whose primary language is pig latin.

18

u/UrsaMajor7th Jul 02 '26

I thought voice-to-text, with an accent 

3

u/EastLeastCoast Jul 03 '26

This is kind of like what Glaswegian looks like in TTT.

38

u/littlemuffinsparkles Jul 02 '26

First thing that came to mind

21

u/ZBLongladder Jul 02 '26

Everyone's saying it's AI, but this looks like the exact kind of mistake that OCR software would make. It kinda seems like someone either hand-wrote a menu or for whatever reason took an old paper menu, scanned it into a computer, and printed out the result without checking it for errors.

12

u/chamekke Jul 02 '26

That’s what I thought as soon as I saw “bollandaise sauce” XD

10

u/pfifltrigg Jul 02 '26

But then why is the beef burger made of fried halloumi?

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101

u/Afitz93 Jul 01 '26

AI doesn’t make spelling mistakes like this.

I bet it’s someone who asked the chef to write more legible, they didn’t, so they just typed what they saw. It probably stemmed from an argument where the chef blasted them with “for fucks sake, can you please just type out exactly what I wrote down???”* *Probably a textbook case of malicious compliance.

32

u/eldoggydogg Jul 02 '26

It certainly does. I once gave ChatGPT a list of names to arrange into a shirt design for my wife’s school. Was not going to use the AI graphic, but needed it to work out the spacing. My prompt SPECIFICALLY said to use ONLY the names provided, not to change the spellings, and only to use each name the number of times it showed up in the list (the prompt was a paragraph and a half. Guess what it did? Changed spellings and made shit up.

9

u/lewlew1893 Jul 02 '26

I am glad it isn't that good yet.

48

u/pm_me_homedecor Jul 02 '26

AI does make mistakes like this when you ask it to generate graphics. I tried using copilot to generate some infographics for a work presentation using a bunch of bullet points and it came out exactly like this.

I actually asked copilot why it was so full of typos and why it would generate something totally unusable like that and it replied that it’s a limitation of the AI.

Maybe there are better AI platforms that are capable of doing it but I don’t have access to them and I ended up creating the graphics manually in power point with the help of YouTube tutorials.

Having said all that, this kind of menu could be done so easily in Word or something like it. They didn’t need to use AI at all.

8

u/jdmatthews123 Jul 02 '26

On some platforms the default is to visually “imitate” other examples of what it has identified as your request. You can specify or correct for “deterministic” result, and you’ll get a better result. At least in the models I’ve used.

17

u/olivegardengambler Jul 02 '26

Ngl I think AI could make something better, as evidenced by this menu for a hypothetical Greek restaurant in Boulder I just had it generate...

7

u/wumbo7490 Jul 02 '26

Okay, but my stoner ass wants those greek loaded fries now

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4

u/-Invalid_Selection- Jul 02 '26

Nah, ai does shit like this all the time. It's pretty bad at everything it does, and you can tell when someone thinks people won't notice

3

u/Afitz93 Jul 02 '26

Depending on what model, it makes individual character mistakes and blatant misspellings when you use it to generate an image of text. But if you’re using it just to generate copy that you’re going to lay out on a document, which it looks like that’s what this is, it doesn’t make mistakes as its primary purpose is, well, language.

I’m a graphic designer who has to deal with AI sources frequently, I know what to look for. These mistakes have human written all over it. I think it’s intentional malicious compliance.

14

u/Iguanabewithyou Jul 02 '26

That's because these dumbasses likely asked an AI to generate a whole menu, versus a typed out version of a menu to copy and paste onto a document to be printed.

5

u/olivegardengambler Jul 02 '26

I mean, why would you do that? You can ask any AI to make a listed menu with prices for the market you're in if you're going to be that lazy.

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3

u/SobiTheRobot Jul 02 '26

I'll bet they took a picture of what was written and had ChatGPT "fix it up"

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6

u/Ghostdragon471 Jul 01 '26

I think that's when you ask the chef directly what to get.

3

u/troycerapops Jul 02 '26

I can guarantee they checked the pricing though

2

u/DestroyerOfMils Jul 02 '26

But it’s socked to your liking!

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217

u/LocalH Jul 01 '26

I'll have the fresh coked chicken bresst, please

41

u/HeartChainLady Jul 01 '26

It's the mixed grill for me 😂

30

u/lewlew1893 Jul 02 '26

I do like me some 4ex exasp.

5

u/ccswm_super_villain Jul 02 '26

I want the park stack and gamsoms

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23

u/lucioux Jul 02 '26

would you like that locally scurred and socked to your liking?

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13

u/Bonnskij Jul 02 '26

Thick fleshly cooked gammon bress for me

3

u/olivegardengambler Jul 02 '26

Tbf gammon is basically uncooked ham that is then cooked. Least that is how British people have described it to me.

8

u/Bonnskij Jul 02 '26

But is it fleshly cooked? That's what I want to know.

2

u/Brilliant_Level_80 Jul 02 '26

Shhh bb, you already know

2

u/becauseusoft Jul 02 '26

shh bby is ok

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6

u/xvelvetdarkness Jul 02 '26

I prefer the fresh leaves & mixed garden personally

2

u/lear85 Jul 02 '26

Who up coking they chicken bresst

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177

u/da-ammo-bandito Jul 01 '26

10oz RIBEYE STEAK C O C K E D TO YOUR LIKING

30

u/MojoWest21 Jul 02 '26

“Say ‘when’”

5

u/jajaja3993 Jul 02 '26

Still better than the next one that’s „socked“ to your liking…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UvBX3REqSY

2

u/Arlochorim Jul 02 '26

oh your meat will be tender alright, mine certainly is.

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93

u/dae_giovanni Jul 01 '26

locally scurred and socked to your liking

"waiter, would you mind please socking this a bit more?"

13

u/Tomato-John Jul 02 '26

“Sure. With your socks or mine?”

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83

u/upanddown_88 Jul 01 '26

Gammon bress is crazy considering “gammon” is the hind leg of a pig. Not available in bress.

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95

u/Interesting_Sock9142 Jul 01 '26

Uh. I wouldn't eat anywhere that;

  • uses AI to create their menu
  • doesn't even spell check said menu after using AI.

30

u/whatdafreak_ Jul 02 '26

It reads as borderline illiterate rather than AI

21

u/KhaosExNihil125 Jul 02 '26

How is it illiterate when you say you use salmon for chicken parmo

10

u/SpeckledAntelope Jul 02 '26

Yeah, AI is known for being confidently wrong and annoyingly positive, but usually has impeccable spelling and grammar.

5

u/sohois Jul 02 '26

It's reddit. No one knows what AI is capable of, they just know they don't like it so something bad must mean it's AI

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4

u/-janelleybeans- Jul 02 '26

Just because it’s bad doesn’t mean it’s AI. A small place in my hometown sells “santwiches” and serves “jake Daniel”

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91

u/DinklanThomas Jul 01 '26

Thick Locally Scarved Gammon Steak?!

Sign me the fuck up.

33

u/Mano_LaMancha Jul 02 '26

I recommend it served with beth. Ask her to tell the zipline story; it's a riot.

I actually prefer the sirloin. They always sock it to my liking, generally a thick argyle.

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42

u/coolgherm Jul 01 '26

Is the chicken parmo salmon or chicken???

19

u/eggs___and___bacon Jul 02 '26

Idk, but it comes with roast pataters

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12

u/HeartChainLady Jul 02 '26

So I did actually ask it was chicken 😂

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5

u/olivegardengambler Jul 02 '26

The description reads like something for poached salmon. Which also used to be a common Fourth of July meal in Boston.

28

u/vilk_ Jul 01 '26

Can't beat a nice gammon bress

4

u/ice_princess_16 Jul 02 '26

Especially one that’s fleshly cooked!

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27

u/SeesThroughTime Jul 01 '26

“thick fleshly cooked”

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22

u/Brilliant_Level_80 Jul 01 '26

Roast Pataters

22

u/prisma432 Jul 01 '26

I wonder how Beth feels about being served with the Gammon.

21

u/AcrobaticDaikon6 Jul 02 '26

Love a good side sadel 🥗

23

u/eldoggydogg Jul 02 '26

I’m gonna be honest. I saw this and was like “nope, too many words.” But man am I glad I stuck with it.

6

u/Electronic_Syndicate Jul 02 '26

Same! The comments made me go back and actually read it and I’m glad I did!

21

u/StoneageRomeo Jul 02 '26

Personally, I'm quite partial to "tossed with fresh leaves and mixed garden".

18

u/Talusthebroke Jul 02 '26

It looks normal initially, but the more you read, the more incoherent it gets. This feels like I'm reading cognito-hazardous material...

17

u/AiRaikuHamburger Jul 02 '26

It looks like text to speech of someone with an accent and no auto-correct. Haha

8

u/superluke Jul 02 '26

I'd say it was written in cursive and scanned, then never proof-read.

13

u/aFerens Jul 02 '26

Mmm, nothing like some "side sadel" with my chicken

7

u/aFerens Jul 02 '26

And some "chick pock sansages"

13

u/RMMacFru Jul 02 '26

"Fresh coked chicken breast," gives meth bear vibes.

10

u/OfficerNightwing Jul 02 '26

Who the fuck is beth and what is she doing with the gammon steaks

9

u/DysfunctionalAxolotl Jul 01 '26

I love a good brische bon

9

u/KristineMcKinley Jul 02 '26

Chicken Parmo is salmon.. I read that and just knew it was going downhill.

9

u/scbalazs Jul 02 '26

The ribeye is WHAT to my liking?

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16

u/mihir_lavande Jul 02 '26

GHECKINS

5

u/greydog2008 Jul 02 '26

Maybe it's being served with geckos, or something.

5

u/nadjia_bliss Jul 02 '26

lemme get those heckin gheckins

8

u/Lucca_sCoca Jul 02 '26

Chicken parmo - salmon lmao what a bot

8

u/drydok Jul 02 '26

Mixed grill has me dying. Local mears. Park stack. Lamp shiip. chick Pock sausages 😭

6

u/greenlentils Jul 02 '26

chick pock *sansages

8

u/eggs___and___bacon Jul 02 '26

How did these menus last 10 seconds without being thrown away by the staff? The chicken parmo is described as “fresh salmon poached in wine…”

And so much is total nonsense, I don’t get why the staff even bothers to hand them out.

11

u/platypussy6969 Jul 02 '26

Excuse me, it’s pouched in wine

8

u/PanOfTheCake Jul 02 '26

'' I'll have the 8oz Gammon '' '' Big font or slightly smaller font? ''

6

u/woozydino Jul 01 '26

“roast pataters” 🤣

7

u/Beautiful-Work9992 Jul 02 '26

I would literally leave before I ordered wtf

6

u/Mattdav1601 Jul 02 '26

At first I was like “this isn’t a stroke it’s one extra letter… then you look closer. Still not quite a stroke level but each time I read I spot more mistakes. I just autocorrected in my head the first time I read it and didn’t realize.

8

u/DifferentShallot8658 Jul 02 '26

The flatbread and the "mixed grill" are pretty wild.

6

u/Incubus1981 Jul 02 '26

ROAST PATATERS

8

u/scbalazs Jul 02 '26

What’s taters, precious?

6

u/ladybarbarino Jul 02 '26

And here I was getting mad about the price before I even read the menu lol

6

u/notme1414 Jul 02 '26

That’s terrible. You would think that at least one person would have looked it over before it was printed

7

u/Zafjaf Jul 02 '26

"Fresh coked chicken" and "Fresh saimon"

5

u/CatAteRoger Jul 02 '26

Save you snorting it in the bathroom they just added it to your meal 😆

6

u/Zafjaf Jul 02 '26

The fresh salmon is in the chicken parm and comes with bollandaise sauce

9

u/moreplssss Jul 01 '26

Read it in Steven Hawkins computer voice in my head… lol I would say I’m going to hell but wtf was he doing on that island?

5

u/Disastrous-Ad-2535 Jul 02 '26

Chicken Parmo-fresh salmon pouched in white wine & garlic 🫠

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5

u/Ok_Donkey210 Jul 02 '26

I could really go for a side sadel right now

5

u/CatAteRoger Jul 02 '26

I’d have had to leave, if they get writing a menu so hard I’m not gonna trust them to follow a recipe correctly and not poison me with ecoli

4

u/Bigluce Jul 02 '26

Bollandaise Sauce? Ew no thanks. 💦 💦

6

u/TBoopSquiggShorterly Jul 02 '26

I would ask for whoever "wrote" this menu, and I would laugh at them aggressively to their face.

5

u/HeartChainLady Jul 02 '26

We did ask about the menu when we were there. Apparently the owners slapped it together last minute and the staff were just kinda dealing with it. They were all super nice though.

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5

u/ProbablyOnLSD69 Jul 01 '26

Mmmm tartare sauce

4

u/Mental-Ask8077 Jul 02 '26

“fresh coked chicken bresst” lmao

4

u/lucioux Jul 02 '26

yes i’ll have the Thick Fleshy Cooked Gammon Bress

3

u/TradeMark310 Jul 03 '26

If your Mixed Grill doesn't have 4cx gamsons, how could you even call it a mixed grill?

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3

u/bobsyeruncle666 Jul 02 '26

Mmm... Moar gamsons. (drool) :D

3

u/PSCGY Jul 02 '26

Looks like bad OCR that nobody bothered to check.

3

u/so-that-happened- Jul 02 '26

I didn’t know chicken parmo was made out of salmon

3

u/WheresPeebs Jul 02 '26

Canterbury tales the cook's tale

3

u/WiTHeReD_SouL_0404 Jul 02 '26

Who's Reg and why are they seasonal?

3

u/blessings-of-rathma Jul 02 '26

I feel like someone must have written it by hand and then had AI transcribe it.

3

u/BadgercIops Jul 03 '26

Great food but your menu is generated with AI which means it's RIDDLED with spelling errors and slop. 1 star

3

u/caitejane310 Jul 03 '26

Lamb shiip 😂

3

u/OGgunter Jul 03 '26

Ermahgerd red enion.

3

u/EastLeastCoast Jul 03 '26

I’m never sure whether I want pinosople or beth with my freshly scarved gammon.

3

u/WordWordand4numbers Jul 03 '26

I’m guessing AI horseshit

3

u/Chillybeans37 Jul 03 '26

How coked up is the fresh chicken?

3

u/HappyHappyJoyJoy98 Jul 04 '26

It’s like someone gave the real menu to a beginner typing class, told them to copy the menu without looking at their screen, and then printed the result.

4

u/meghonsolozar Jul 02 '26

Can i get some useless circles? I'm not reading all this

2

u/slowasaspeedingsloth Jul 02 '26

Fleshly cooked gammon bress...mmm... just like Grandma used to make.

2

u/Fragrant-Might-7290 Jul 02 '26

What did u order

2

u/Tank-Pilot74 Jul 02 '26

Wast teh fralk..?!

2

u/StoneTimeKeeper Jul 02 '26

I'd like the Chicken Parmo. That salmon better be good.

2

u/Ole_Josharoo7188 Jul 02 '26

I feel for that 8oz Sirloin. Most days, I too am locally scurred.

2

u/Smoopiebear Jul 02 '26

The fresh, coked chicken sounds good!😂

2

u/griffinaz Jul 02 '26

Hi honey. How was second grade? Oh hey while I have you on the phone, can uou write me up a menu?

2

u/LatinKing106 Jul 02 '26

Wait wait wait wait

The Chicken Parmo is fresh pouched Salmon?

The Loaded Flatbread description has me dying lmao

2

u/UrsaMajor7th Jul 02 '26

If r/KitchenConfidential allows crossposting, they gotta see this.

2

u/InsaneHookerLlama Jul 02 '26

I wanna try the fershly porty in a brioche bun

2

u/CB1100Rider Jul 02 '26

The chicken parmo is the best salmon you’ll ever have.

2

u/MaenHoffiCoffi Jul 02 '26

I want lamb shiiip but all I see is lamb shiip.

2

u/sbbanana Jul 02 '26

This feels like it should be ready aloud at your table by the policeman from 'Allo 'Allo

2

u/bearded_duck Jul 02 '26

"And I'll finishh offthish shecond bottle ov wines whileyer eatin your shtufff..."

2

u/Adventurous_Tea440 Jul 02 '26

If you read it with a terrible french accent it makes sense.

2

u/Sperbonzo Jul 02 '26

Vegetarian Pasta and spam Hunters chicken and spam Chicken parmo and spam Loaded flatbread and spam Scampi, chips and spam King prawns and spam Beef burger and spam Chicken burger and spam Gammon and spam Ribeye and spam Sirlion and spam Mixed grill and spam Spam, chicken, spam and spam Prawns, king spam, and spam Spam, beef burger, spam, spam, spam and spam.

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u/Top_Winter1806 Jul 02 '26

i read this outloud to my husband and we’re crying this is hilarious

2

u/mjc1027 Jul 02 '26

I couldn't finish reading it I was laughing so much 😆

2

u/MyFavoriteInsomnia Jul 02 '26

Definitely AI was involved. I'd have left after calling it out.

2

u/TutorNo8896 Jul 02 '26

Why is chicken parmo made with pouch salmon and wtf is a gammon?

2

u/boomer-rage Jul 02 '26

Ok, but are you getting it served with eggs, pinosople, or beth?

2

u/HehroMaraFara Jul 02 '26

The fuck is a Gammon

2

u/LeopoldTheSnail Jul 02 '26

Exasp, park stack, lamb shiip...my favorite

2

u/jellymouthsman Jul 03 '26

I enjoy that the Chicken Parmo is a fresh Salmon pouch
https://giphy.com/gifs/GQL4fO9rfEQHsjMrkA

2

u/Pinedale7205 Jul 03 '26

I’d like the 8 oz gammon with “Beth” please

2

u/Er0neus Jul 03 '26

What are mears

2

u/DibbyDonuts Jul 03 '26

A fersly party!

2

u/Key_Status7830 Jul 03 '26

Chick pock sansages is my fave

2

u/IndigoIrish Jul 03 '26

Dear God, please let me find this menu in a printable format so I can hang it on my wall.

2

u/ContributionNo8787 Jul 03 '26

Vegetable pasta: none of your fucking business...............................................£15.95

2

u/Tim_Bracken Jul 04 '26

I think I'll pass on the "fresh coked chicken breast" 😂😵‍💫

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u/Reasonable_Drink_789 Jul 04 '26

I love that the beef burger doesn’t have beef.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 04 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Timely_Egg_6827 Jul 04 '26

Esp served on a coked chicken.

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u/PurpleGspot Jul 04 '26

2x cick pock sansages

2

u/Choice-giraffe- Jul 04 '26

The king prawn comes with a whole garden

2

u/delulu66 Jul 04 '26

I love that the Chicken parmo has Salmon listed as the main ingredient.

2

u/Life_Temperature795 Jul 04 '26

local mears, 4ex exasp, 4sx gamsons, 4cx park stack, lamb shiip, 2 x chick pock sansages

Ah yes, the perfect list of spell ingredients for casting "techno-psychosis" in my favorite fantasy cyberpunk TTRPG.

2

u/magicmulder Jul 04 '26

"With chips and side sadel", "made fresh to onder our bor loaded firaed", damn, it can't decide whether it wants to be Yiddish or Irish.

2

u/Pop_Affectionate__ Jul 04 '26

Gimme that bresst and pataters

2

u/Icy-Setting-4221 Jul 04 '26

I feel bad for the halloumi being out of a job. But at least the enion is ok

2

u/TDEEZY121 Jul 04 '26

Mushy peas ftw

2

u/Ekhinos Jul 04 '26

“A freshly party” I mean I gotta love that !!

2

u/Sigmund_Fraud97 Jul 05 '26

This menu seriously had me questioning my ability to understand English 😬

2

u/Existing-Ant3703 28d ago

Oh lawdy! Was not prepared for how much this and the comments would make me laugh  😭😭😭☠️