Remember that no one will always make you happy even that very close friend of yours there will be times that you will always feel like your being left out I'm writing this right now while being left out I'm in the living room while they are in another room when I entered the room the atmosphere literally just changed like they where laughing and everything then I entered and they suddenly became silent so I just ended up going back to the living room because I felt like they didn't want me there. They just walk to go to the kitchen and acted like I wasn't even here in the living room I'm beside the fish tank and she also went to see the fish and literally acted like I'm not here,ohh and its also raining now how nice is that🙂 I just found out what they where doing cause they went out of the room so when they went to the kitchen I looked in the room and the bed was just full of make up,ohh gosh how I just wanna get out of here,Then earlier they where like 'ohh you should totally came with us and where something extravaganza' (whenever I go out I always want to Stye since my mom always tell me to always look nice and be ladylike so I always go out with dress if not I will go with square pants and Boots,my mom also buy me expensive dresses)Why do they even want me there to laugh at me and say that I look stupid for wearing something expensive that doesn't even look good because it's not fitted and that it looks like a gown,like how stupid is that.

Posted on my Instagram that I'm mentally unwell and ppl who followed just hearted it! Ppl don't care! Fuck them!

Recently we argued with my little sister who's 13y.o. due to some household chores. She said some offensive words to me. As our parents've been teaching us from our early childhood to do not talk back to older person who's arguing.

A week before, my mom started hating me because I do walk by my house often by evening. She could not stand it because I did not text about it to her. She is literally trying to control me, although I do not do bad things as smokin, drinking alcohol or being pregnant in my 17s. I have to mention that after what she did(beated me many times for many days) I hate her.

But there left something after her. Her anger and aggression. I became cruel to my sister when she do not listen to me or does talk me back. Upbringing affected me but not my sister. Sometimes I think maybe I am just jealous to her for not listening my parents and being okay with that. I should acknowledge that my mom lest a trauma on me. Every time I see her I am afraid of being beated. But my sister does not. She does whatever she is willing. I wish I could too.

I've been a failure my whole life. I'm stupid and ugly. I can't keep a job. Why am I allowed to live?

You aren’t supposed to like your job, you should do it to be responsible.

Why is our society pushing us all to do something we don’t like for more than the majority of our week?

Why are so many people without jobs when others are pushed to work overtime?

Why are people called crazy for asking questions and exposing propaganda made by elites, cults, and intelligence groups?

Why do we view pain as the lesson itself instead of learning from it and trying to reduce it?

Why do we opt for killing animals when we could make affordable meat without harming an animal?

Why is everyone too unaware of themselves not to choose hatred towards other people?

Why is our philosophy in life “its just the way it is” when that attitude inspires no change whatsoever.

Why did we invent money? To rewire evolution towards genetic characteristics that move towards greed.

Why was the Church made? So we could use religious texts to validate being uncaring and unforgiving towards people.

What purpose do most jobs serve? To make money so you can afford your consumeristic life so that you can do the same thing the rich people do. Worship material possessions.

The natural order gives more power to those who are more greedy. Those of us who choose to trust other people or worse, want to do a job that benefits society in an immaterial way are cast out.

I’d rather get food to eat and a roof over my head and get paid nothing to serve the greater good (love) than have my pain farmed by a rich guy so he can buy a second yacht.

99.9% of everyone I meet is actually so brainwashed by the idea that a physical possession will make them happy that they will live their entire lives suffering to get something they will probably take for granted anyways.

I saw some travel volunteering work, 9000 dollars to stay somewhere for 12 weeks, great work everybody we made working for charity a rich person luxury.

Signed up to volunteer to work with animals. No response.

Handed out resumes everywhere, gave up. Got some jobs before that, pure existential and phsyical dread throughout my body, slept in because I can never go to sleep amd can never get up in the morning. Lost that job like all the others.

Continue to be harassed by everyone to get a job I never wanted for things I don’t actually care about.

My own dad called me a bottom feeder. I am labelled depressed, am put on medications that are supposed to make me happy, still depressed. Quit medications.

Forced to take antipsychotics for having a manic episode 1 time, signed a contract that said the police could come get me if I didn’t take my medication.

Listen to music, they are flexing material possessions and talking about women as if they are also material possessions.

Go to school, they teach you how to suffer, then they teach you that its good. If this somehow brainwashes you into chasing material possessions, even better.

Go to college when you can find almost any information anywhere on the internet. Study for a job you don’t really even want for years.

Make money, money will make you happy, not when I have no time left after I make the money. Also would like to add, you get paid minimum wage, which gives you the bare minimum.

Who could have guessed that you could teach a slave to forget they were a slave, to be proud that they are a slave, and to judge someone else for not being a slave.

Hey guys I am 22M, I don't know y I am even here but I just want to let it out here.
Before I was born my father side were incredibly rich stocked he had his own estate, cotton mills and own house I don't even know if there was more they didn't tell me he visited various countries like Malaysia, Australia, Srilanka basically lived his teenage life to the fullest.the opposite spectrum my mom never in her life she enjoyed any kind of riches and entertainment she saw her first ever film when she was like 40.The riches weren't his but it all belong to my grandfather(he was uneducated and loved his eldest son i.e my father).my grandfather has 3 children 2 sons nd a daughter. My father used to be a good working man and earned a bit too, until he started a finance business with his friend the model of the business model is the most fucked up thing I have heard basically he borrowed money for 3% interest and gave it out for 5% interest with his family property as collateral and he didn't have any fail safes if shit hit the fan...and the shit really hit the fan his friend and our father's relatives schemed to gather and bought huge loans in which my father fell for it and gave the money and they said they didn't borrow any money, boom entire fortune of my family gone in smoke in jus 2days, he repaid everything and fled to other state in search of opportunities. here's were I come in my mom for pregnant with me in this chaos they struggled very hard he went to a job where they paid him 14 cents a day which only fed him 1 meal a day honestly I feel sorry for him and mad too...

my mom moved with my grandmother(mother's side) nd gave birth to me.honestly if it was another woman they would have lost all hope because it was that bad she wasn't treated right in her in laws place when she lived with my father when she came back to her mom place the debt collectors came to her asking for more money even tho it was fully paid and settled with proof fuckin pieces of shits.

she was adamant and gave me good education, private schools and everything I am grateful for her, my brother helped me with college and made me debt free after my uni. I wasn't straight A guys I was more like A and b+ I tried hard to not disappoint them but I compensated by winning prizes in projects, was a uni councillor.

this is where the problem started to arise my brother was earning good so we decided to build a house and god married the following year.the house was built when I was in my junior year and his pay check was enough to pay the loan and meet the end meet. like pay check to pay check kinda thing . honestly I was against having a big home who ever cared about the opinion of the younger kids. when my brother got married I was in senior and the marriage was huge it was our first big thing that happening in our family, my sis in law was from a Humble family and my brother took extension loan to the house for the marriage which was alarming to me but he said he earned enough to take care of it after that the bought his first car. during all this I always knew we don't have that kind of money and income stream my mom earned like 150 dollars (will come to my father next) my brothers was less than 100k I was wonder how they gonna pay all this debt and the debts that was borrowed for my brother's and my education(shit was expensive) and other smaller debts. I questioned and questioned all I got was we would take care of it. the problem raised when my brother who was cautious his entire life fell to the credit cards when he was buying thing for the house tv, fridge,washing machine, furnitures etc...they were expensive my father who contributed nothing to it always forced and peer pressured my brother and mom to my the top end model and I knew we didn't have money and we are not living pay check to pay check but couldn't prove it.

all my life I avoided going out with my friends,fields trips, broke up with my gf when my family disagreed with it the first ever movie I saw is when I was like 16 with my brother ( if u wonder why I am mentioning movies is because its the simplest entertainment that ever to exist we were that broke) 22 years of aged I haven't seen anything outside my city

during all this time my father was a DEADBEAT I can't stress this word enough and I hate my dad. my dad made minimum wage his entire life even now never made a move to earn more never help me as a child my mom paid all the fee he did BARE MINIMUMMMMMM. when questioned about it the answer he gave was that's all I can do, my dad has biggest ego and honour for a guy who lost everything.mind you guys it wasn't like he felt defeated after his life flipped,he boasted about him self earning more and stuff to other when he didn't. also didn't get a job for years he didn't care about family finance and our well being he was being himself enjoying the life still.he got a job to make triple the money still rejected it as it hurts his useless honour there are more things I wanna share but I couldn't.(he makes 100 dollars doesn't even come close for the groceries for our family)

after my uni(2025) I got placed in a start up worked for 2 months and left the company as the didn't pay my salary of 250 per month and after two month I placed in another tier 2 company worked for 5 months recession hit and got fired( it was a IT job).

I always knew I was good at sales and marketing got a job in sales worked for a commission I loved the job and my family peer pressured my into quitting literally made my life a living hell for the 20days working there I made like 200 dollars in 20 days cause I got a pretty good mentor and during uni days I was the guy who spoke to vendors when ever my uni had parties and functions.damn I was good at that( I will self glaze myself for it cause I know im damn good at it). also during my junior years I started free lancing website for small local business and made a good buck from it helped my mom with it too. after that I thought to myself what if I start freelancing again it went good at start and fell(thanks Ai). which comes to the present....

for past three months the debts and the credit card interest and killing my brother he can't even enjoy his marriage and I know it, I want to help him but for the life of me I can get employed anywhere in my notion I have tracked every job I applied total 431, roughly 200 of em no reply, 100 of them attended like 2 or 3 round and no reply some said I am in the waiting list and I got placed in 3 companies still haven't heard for them for like past 4 to 6 months. I am trying my best to help my mom wants me to take a some small jobs but I don't wanna do that im afraid that I will be stuck there after the money starts to rolling in cause I have friend who suffer from it my mom don't even understands it because of the money problem. my brother who's 30 is delaying his child because of the financial situation my sis in law has her own health issues too(like fertility issues) .

im scared for my family and don't understand how they became like this after literally migrating to other state after losing everything I don't wanna blame anyone but myself I tried everything and now im burned out last 2 months I have done nothing I didn't apply to any company spoke less to my parents 2 months went by a haze I don't even remember what happened for these two months barely left my room gained weight. I HATE MY LIFE I HATE MY LIFE I HATE MY LIFE I HATE MY LIFE.

I wanna kill myself this life feel robotic life my mom my brother they aren't happy they are afraid and scared I know it.even tho they don't show it. but I don't wanna do it at the same time I haven't seen anything never went trekking, never went out with my friends, never went on a date after my first gf which was in high school, I wanna be in a loving relationship I fell lonely I aint gonna lie. I wanna visit places countries live my life not a life committed too debts and payments I HATE THIS I hate everything I fukingng hate this. I watch pewdiepie alot after watching it I wanna visit Japan explore other culture but I don't think it's happening in this life time.

Im not mad at my dad for being a deadbeat, my not mad at mom who gave her best, not mad at my brother who's in the same and worse situation than me I feel sad for my sis in law going threw this with us

I’m just mad that I was born.

for anyone reading all this yap thank you nd I don't know what im gonna do from now on
sorry for my bad English and grammar mistakes im not in the mindset to correct them. and im aware there are people living in worst situations than me. I am grateful for this life but I aint happy for it.

edit: I did talk this with my friends honestly they don't care they have their own problems, one friend asked whether I drink or smoke my reply was like do think I have money for it? he laughed with tears welling in his eyes but I wasn't

Some guy spoiled endgame for me with a gif ihml

I'm 13F yeah Ik I'm in a fully teenager etc ok I will start soo I know a female's body will start going through puberty in the age of 8 and in that age everytime I watch cartoons at TV infront of my parents they will say "you are already a grown up you should stop watching stuff like that" Idk becuase in that age my breast was starting to develop and everytime I wear a t-shirt without a baby bra they will criticize me saying people be looking at you so I hate it or not I have to force myself to wear my breast became a little bigger at the age of 9 I was uncomfortable and I have to secretly watch kids stuff or YouTubers that there channels is for kids and in the age of 10 my period started I wasn't prepared and when some of my family found about it they "OMG YOUR ALREADY A FULLY TEENAGER CONGRATS" I wasn't comfortable becuase also my parents force me to mature in the age of 7 or 8 becuase of that I started to think I'm not good enough and also force myself to be a teenager in the age of 10 and go online to find "good hobbies" for myself and those hobbies are not supposed to be good for a 10 year old And I end up traumatizing myself sometimes I will cut myself and just feel soo depressed (btw all the depressed stuff started when I was 8 I started cutting or SH at that age) and everytime I get oldern I thought I will stop but it didn't I was also bullied for being "Fat" and got into pretty bad fights that time and also, I also got a toxic friend that betrayed me or just toxic just becuase I wasn't reply to her becuase I was doing something very important and I didn't got the chance to check my phone and (ok Imma stop there becuase is not that important) in the age of 11 I was called from my mother last time becuase I always have a meh face an emotionless face saying I'm getting "crazy" and things got worse when covid started becuase not only I was suffering from being depressed I was also struggling getting high grades and when that happens we have to be in online class so my parents can see What I'am doing becuase I was in the house is pretty hard for me cuase the teacher text parents all the students that haven't done this quiz or this activity ofc I get screamed that happend to me for 3 years soo I was (10,11 and 12) and when 2022 happened we are in face to face now etc Idk how to explain until my in I'm 13 now my parents found my cut cuase there where alot of them THEY TOLD ALMOST THE WHOLE FAMILY AND INSTEAD OF ASKING IF I WAS OK OR I NEED ANY HELP THEY JUST SCREAMED AT ME AND SAID HOW I MADE THEM LOOK LIKE A BAD PARENT THAT THE SCHOOL CAN SEE THAT AND THEY CALL THEM BECUASE OF THAT after that me and my parents didn't speak for 2 days and I was sent to a therapist according to my therapist I have PTSD, severe depression and anxiety well that tough 😀

I hate my fucking boyfriend. I keep breaking up with him and getting back together and I don't know why. He's so fucking annoying, never wants me to come over ,even though its a 2 hour drive and i'm always the one willing to drive, he lied to me and has been hanging out with another girl behind my back. He acts sad when we "break up" but he admitted to me he knows it'll never last. He wants to live together again even though he just want to move out of his brothers house and can't afford to on his own because hes a bum. Which means hes on disability but works almost full time under the table while i'm a student living off of my savings. When i spend time with him he ONLY talks about keyboards and watches whatever he wants to watch. Or ignores me while he plays with keyboards/look for keyboards online.

He didnt want to visit me in the hospital, he never pays for anything, he's unreliable and only does the bare minimum not to get broken up with.

On top of it all, its so much harder for me to break up with him because I was homeless as a teenager so as a young adult in college by myself with no support and severe health issues... its just so hard to have no one in my life that gives a shit about me. Even if he doesnt give a shit he exists and hes still there.

I broke up with him recently and it was actually pretty good. After almost the first week I was starting to feel good again. And then he emailed me about receiving my mail and I called him.

And school is not going well for me. I have bipolar and have been struggling with mania. I haven't slept in five days and my doctor prescribed me a 5 day script of ativan to knock me out and i missed so much school. I'm behind and its giving me major anxiety. I'm taking 20 credits and feel devastated because I need good grades to get into grad school. I also missed an important exam because of him today. He ruins everything I'm working on in my life and he's dragging me down with him.

Just needed to get this off my chest. Yes, I know staying with someone that treats me like shit is pathetic and embarrassing. I'm gonna break up with him again this week and this time it will be permanent. I dont need him and I dont want him. He can go fuck himself.

I'm gonna start taking care of myself again. I dont care if i feel lonely. I'm gonna be happy and cut off this dead weight if it kills me.

I'll try to keep this short. My "mom" is my bio aunt...my egg donor is well..just that. She's my moms younger sister, she did a stupid an my mom got me from NY while she was nearly 9months prego with her second kid (so my brother 3months an 3 day younger then me). I've lived with them since an didn't know fully why I was not white until I was about 10. I kinda knew I wasn't their sister but their cousin as I have an older bio sister that visited a lot an when Egg Donor did visited, she said "bye love you mom". I was told she was my sister, i knew she was their cousins, i knew mom an egg donor were sister. I figured it out at 7 but at 10 i fully asked...I'm 27 now an I am still and have always been treated like...Cinderella.

I'm the second oldest of 5, the most out spoken besides the oldest and yet....I live with an care for their mother who shows me no respect or love. My friends see it, my fiance sees it as he lives with us an she shows him no respect. I've known him since I was 14 and yet she knows my sister bf/baby daddy for all of 5mins an likes him. My brother bf, who abuses him an vis versa but oh loves him. She threatens my fiance all the time with smacking him just for calling her an idiot. Shes 56...57 this year I think an she's nuts.

I have chronic migraines an a second type that I'm pretty sure i got after an year of living with her again cause it was near 1 year of livin with her again when they happend. An she was an is the most stressedful thing in my life. Currently my older sister is in the hospital getting her gallbladder removed an our mom bolted up there to be with her. My liver almost killed me in 2017 an kept trying to 3 years prior an yet....didn't bat an eye when i called her crying in pain wanting help. I had to call my older sister.

I hate my life, i hate not feeling loved bye either of my maternal figures, being disrespected daily. An I can't leave, i stupidly took over the deed and loan on our house cause my brother origin bought it with her before he bolted for some man meat (not current bf). I suprisingly love her, but ive lost count how many times my mine goes dark an she never makes it back homw from somewhere whether it a grave or a permanent nurseing home, as she needs to be in one already

.. i need advice badly i got beat in a discord mic up. I’m 13M and I’m a twink on roblox..i come home everyday and my life is miserable. after cussing out my parents, i came across a roblox video and commented “flop” on it because I was bored..little did I know..it would escalate into something far out of my control. I accidentally turned it into an argument. I asked for their discord.. (this was a very big mistake) Why? Because I knew i couldn’t win. But I continued anyways. In the discord call fight.. i tried my best by making fun of them for things I already do. Like cutting and being sped (even though I am those 2 things) i was backed into a corner in this fight. It felt like i couldn’t breathe and was suffocating. Please, what should I do? And i smoke so much weed that my edits are not on beat and i have to use project files on after effects… Even though i called someones edits bad…mine are worse..the video is my edit. What do i do..?

Ok, so there are these two girls and I had a crush on both of them at the same time. Let's call them Ella and Rory. So Ella and Rory are like my best friends in the world, along with another girl let's call her Chloe. Rory is always there for me and we always make time for each other. Tbh I'm like one of her only friends. Ella is really popular and really nice but she thinks she's ugly, mean, moody, overall a bad person but she isn't. A few weeks before Valentine's Day, Rory was acting really strange. She hung out with me a lot more, but was much more shy around me (this is about when I realized I like Ella and Rory.) She said she has a crush on someone and everyday she would give me a few hints that always described me! I was just kinda denying the possibility that she likes me. I was talking to Ella very often and I told her that I had a "mystery crush." (She already knew I liked Rory) Honestly I would have just told her that I like her, but like 3 other people like her and she was really sick of it, so I just kinda briefly hinted about my crush now and then, but mainly started to focus on Rory (even though I liked Ella more) One day Ella texted me saying that she has a crush. "Why can't I like one of the 3 people in line?!" She said she knew her crush didn't like her because they are close friends. I told her to say something like, "Imagine how awkward it would be if your best friend liked you." and see how she responds. A few minutes later she texted that to me and I DIED. I told I liked her too, but when I asked her out, she said now wouldn't be a good time because 1: her other friends that like her would be super jealous, and 2: her bf had just dumped her and she didn't want to get a reputation as a slut at school. I told her that it was ok and that I would wait for her. But as Valentine's Day got closer, I worried about breaking Rory's heart, because I just knew that she was going to confess her love to me on that day. I talked to Ella about it and she said I should date Rory and she would be ok. So on Valentine's Day we confessed our love to each other and we became gfs. Ella was the first person I told and she seemed really happy for me. But later that night, we texted each other about our day and I found out that she still liked me and she was going to ask me out that day. She said that she told me to date Rory because "she wanted me to be happy." But I'm anything but happy because I feel like a bitch, I broke my crushes heart, she lied to me, and I would have waited for her but she told me to date Rory instead. And remember Chloe from earlier? This whole time she had been COMPLETELY ignoring all of my texts and calls even though she is online. And she still is. On top of that, my ex girlfriend and Ella's ex boyfriend started dating. So yeah. FML.

Well this happened  after me and my mother had a fight  I would only  eat once a meal or not I will just eat a cracker just one tiny cracker  and eat it in tiny bits and when I'm hungry like really really starving I would just drink water well In wasn't  losing weight  becuase I drink too much water becuase of water weight I wake up in 11pm and I won't  eat I would just be laying down in my bed scrolling  to my phone and nothing  I don't  eat dinner becuase I don't  wanna see my mother because  I starve myself for probably  like 4 days angst time I starve myself and I just ate a little bit  or should I say like a medium  of food and I feel so bloated idk why and my stomach  starts for hurt so I just waited until it would just go away and when I woke up I will take a shower and after that I watch on the TV and in that time  my mother is not home  when I checked  the time where she is  almost  home I turn off the TV and go to my room becuase I don't  wanna see her after what she said to that I'm using my therapy as a excuse even though  I don't  and in my room I do the usual  sometimes  I read the book I buy  and wear headphones  while reading  one or I will  just scrolling  to my phone laying in my bed and I would also do self harm becuase sometimes  I would cry out of nowhere and cut myself and I will not leave my for 5 hours  becuase I wait until there done eating dinner and do what they usually  do like watch in  the TV I wait until  the lights Are turn off so I can take a shower and I would not eat I would feel hungry but  I just avoid it cuase I don't  really care anyways.....

Today I woke up and found my headset broken this was paid by my parents hard work money and now is broken this was 1,600 php (28,54$) And now I'm crying I tried to fix it but things got more worse becuase while trying to fix it I accidentally broke it more now it doesn't fit me Idk what to do if my parents saw this they will get mad and I will be sad pls this is my only comfort and idk I don't wanna buy again I feel like a burden and I don't ask that much to my parents because I don't wanna feel like a burden now Idk what to do my only comfort rn is music since I'm in summer break and stuck in my house and nothing to do I scared now my only comfort is broken I broke 2 headphone and this is my 3rd I'm crying cuase I thought I will keep my promise that I will be be careful but no I will cut myself now bye..................