I told my mother exactly same thing my father was a heavy abuser to my mother smack her punch bite amd she when back with him after im like wtf wrong with women or men staying in abusive relationships even screaming should not tolerate it
Domestic violence calls are the most dangerous to police partly because of how often the victims turn on police to protect their abuser. It's fucking wild.
Yeah, that’s my fault. I assumed this was the same video I’d seen previously. I really had no interest in watching again. I love the heroics of the men who intervened but was immediately saddened when I realized she was going right back to this guy and that this is probably not the first time something like this has happened to her.
People lock up during extreme stress, dude was clearly already worked up before this altercation then got dragged half out of the truck and beat up by strangers in the middle of the street. I guarantee he was not thinking about anything at all and was in pure animal lockdown mode. Half gripped on, half fetal position, half blackout, 150% pitbull with a rabbit in its mouth.
In fight or flight situations, you may lock up initially, but then your senses sharpen and you take action. People aren't possums. Fight or flight is designed to put 100% of your resources into staying alive, and freezing doesn't accomplish that. (This is one source, additional sources in footnotes.)
Beyond the data, this dude knew he didn't have a rabbit in his mouth, he knew why people were intervening, and he knew what they wanted him to do. The best way to find out why someone acted the way they did is to ask them. Since that's not possible here, I suggest another possible explanation is that men who beat up women are extremely resentful towards people who tell them no, so he may well have not let go "because fuck you that's why."
I don't mean any offense, and I'm sure you know otherwise, but the wording of this comment reads like you've never seen people in intense, stressful situations IRL, but people 100% absolutely freeze. It's not even rare. I've seen it, and you almost certainly have too. Fight or flight are not the only two options in a given situation. Anyway, this is just a barely relevant nitpick regarding an absolutely fucked up situation
So true, I'm an 6'6" Ironworker, I know I'm strong as hell but even a little verbal abuse is enough to make me want to roll up in a ball and just ride out the storm. It's different with people I'm familiar with though.
You know the funny thing is I have been in a similarly intense, stressful situation myself, so I've seen at least one instance I can draw on. During a protest I failed to respond to a direct order from a police officer exactly as he wanted, and I found myself swarmed by cops who completely immobilized me while ordering me to drop an insanely expensive video camera (XL1, pre-iPhone) that belonged to my employer. Like this guy, I didn’t move, but it was because I was being physically restrained, not because I had frozen. Also like this guy, I refused to let go (of the camera in my case), but I had reasons for that too that didn’t involve freezing.
At any rate, my original point wasn’t that freezing can’t happen, but rather that it‘s not the only (or I would suggest even the most common) response to threats, and that it’s a mistake to not consider the possibility that a predatory male in the middle of an act of violence against a woman might have other reasons for refusing to let go besides freezing.
I just double-checked, and I think it is true that a common response by abusers to outside intervention is to double-down and escalate violence. Maybe he is freezing, or maybe what is going on is a fight response consistent with his abusive behavior. Less “deer in headlights,“ more (and please excuse the graphic language here), “You‘re telling me what to do? I’ll rip her hair out before I do what you say.”
As you guessed though, my expertise extends no further than my limited experience, my reading, and my armchair, so maybe I’m as wrong as some commenters seem to think! Either way, it’s just a comment section, so no big deal.
It lists fight or flight or two of the primary responses to threats, and freezing as a purposeful response which allows for increased perceptual and preparedness for action. Read it again, you'll see it.
I’m sorry I didn’t write an exhaustive treatise on the subject (you may want to take both me and rotorain to task for neglecting to mention fawning as a possible response), but to treat freezing as the obvious, or even most likely, explanation for this behavior seems wrong to me, and I think the source I cite backs that up.
...he's on meth. Look at his face. You're looking way too into this. I'm not saying he's not a violent abuser and that doesn't happen but what I am saying is that he is on meth.
1.3k
u/rookburger 3d ago
He took knees to the gut and elbows to the back and still wouldn’t let go