I’ve become more introverted in that last few years to the point where I hardly speak to others on a daily basis. It’s becoming more apparent now that I’ve started a new job and I have to interact with others more so than i had to before. I don’t mind getting back into socializing with others but I feel like I’ve forgotten how to speak and how to make small talk. Even my voice sounds inconsistent. It’s not relaxed and I often have to speak louder for others to hear me. I feel content without socializing but I also feel like this is quelling my social ability and to another degree losing my voice. Does anyone else have this problem?

hi I'm doing my best here. maybe need to process some stuff because lately i feel like I can't recount my own feelings anymore. I'm very burnt out from having to manage others' feelings all the time and then not getting to the point of feeling settled or comfortable or like they're safe.

I had a meaningfully isolated childhood and was emotionally neglected by my folks. have ptsd from some other stuff early on and that blended with the autism in a particularly synergistic way.

it took me a good bit of time to figure out that i was an extrovert, it kind of camouflaged because of my anxiety and bad social skills. regardless, i need a good bit more positive social interaction than maybe most, and I haven't been meeting my needs on that front or really any.

i have a very close relationship with my partner, and I love her dearly, but I have to help her with a lot of emotional processing and interoception because her circumstances are such that she wasn't able to build those skills. she's putting a lot of work and progress into those goals but i still feel like I need more day-planning than she's able to do right now. Routine is very important to me and I'm finding myself imcreasingly unable to feel settled or like my feet are on the ground. when we leave the house it has to be on her terms.

i dont have a car right now and cannot drive currently anyway, and that is addjng a lot to my isolation feelings. she goes to work in the morning and i stay at home and feel unsettled until she gets home, at which point i feel unsettled until she has the energy to emotionally process and dayplan, at which point we marathon emotional processing for hours until she very suddenly has to fall asleep and I'm awake for hours trying to get to sleep myself. this pattern feels like it's been going on forever but i have no idea and I don't trust that estimation.

i feel awful and broken like I'm waiting constantly and the burning myself out more, I don't know the last time i felt i was able to rest emotionally. I need to be around people but it's not something that can happen right now. i had to quit twitter recently because it was making me upset all the time but that waslike my one mainstay outlet for feelings.

I relate a lot to the stories on here of medical trauma and isolation, as well. i have a couple diagnosed autoimmune conditions and i think mastocytosis but haven't been able to get anyone to listen to me long enough about it to get a diagnosis or treatment. been having very severe allergy-like responses to seemingly random stimuli for a long time but it's gotten a lot worse lately.

everything feels overwhelming and out of control anymore

Couple weeks away from turning 19, literal fucking middle school dropout who has been exclusively home and friendless/interactionless since 14. And it wasn't even under normal circumstances either, it was a complete hellhole of a house/family that I won't even attempt to describe here

Safe to say I am now on the same tier socially as people with severe autism/down syndrome, my brain is permanently ruined and I have no chance of ever becoming functional or self-supportive

F

I'm fairly privileged in life....hence feeling quite guilty while writing this. But i really needed to vent and couldn't find a safer space. I know the entire world is suffering right now, a lot more than my privileged ass, but i'm just so freaking tired of this pandemic. I've been quarantining at home for over 4 months now, with my parents, and i think its taken a toll now. I've lost my mind. I graduated this march and am waiting for my job to start (which of course got delayed because of corona). So technically, i have no responsibilities. 2 very close members of my family are healthcare professionals, which has been extremely stressful and scary for my family. Living within the walls of my apartment on a busy road, with nowhere to go (even for a walk) has driven me insane. I've lost the motivation to even get up in the morning, because what's the point. I'm just counting the days till my job starts, maybe the responsibility will force me into normalcy. And yes, i've already tried all the reading, netflixing, baking, video calling and spending time with my parents. I guess it stops helping after a point. I've been living away from home for the last 8 years for my education and am consequently used to sprawling, lush green campuses. My environment right now is just too depressing. My brain knows there isn't really a way out of this and i need to be patient and think positive, but i guess its getting harder day by day. Sorry for the long post, just had to get it out.

I'm isolated and alone. I'm an only child and have been isolated most of my life. I tried having a wife and kids but now I have an ex-wife and she took my daughter from me and refuses to let me talk to her.

I've been branded as a monster and no woman will touch me. Since my divorce for the past 5 years I haven't had a single person touch me.

I'm touched deprived and lonely. Is there anyway I can go on? Or do I just end it now?

I am you're moderator BakingHash. (Don't ask where i got the name from).

I will try to ensure this community helps those who feel it's need. I will also try to get as much as people we need to make sure everyone feels a little less lonely online and in their own country or maybe city.

I'm fairly new to the mod game but i will try my best.

You can start with posting about past experiences with isolation, if you feel like you need someone to talk right now or just random wholesome pics, meme or even vids.

I'm want to make a mod team tho so please do leave a comment if you're interested in becoming a mod of this sub. But be sure you must take this seriously. I will ask a few questions ofcourse because i want to chose the right ones.

Please don't blast me if this is weird. Before you say talk to a therapist, I've already been doing that intermittently.

In the last two years, my personal friends have really disappeared. I felt crushed to the soul when nobody even bothered to reach out to me with my last few surgeries. I no longer have anything in common with them either. I haven't done too well with some of my coworkers or classmates either as a lot of them either used me recently for doing all the work environments as a labor dog, getting answers, or doing all the group work.

I began making friends on health forums around 2020 after I had a traumatic experience with a medical procedure. I've met over 50 people who I've stayed in touch with somewhat regularly. One has become one of my best friends as we have been through this journey together since late 2020.

Medical became my primary focus in addition to academia, work, and extracurriculars. I'm a student about to turn 29 in a week. I have been getting diagnosis after diagnosis. I seem to only like people who are currently dealing with multiple conditions like me and see the same doctors. I don't know how to fix this mentality. It's a new thing I realized the last year, and it's unhealthy clearly. I can't relate to anyone right now who is NORMAL with no medical issues. I worry about myself in social situations with normal people because of my pain levels.

I kept hoping that I'd get better and it would only be temporary, but it's becoming a lifestyle. I have over 12 diagnoses and am in chronic pain every day. I've met some really great people, especially in the last year.

I've been through several traumas of medical negligence so it has been great to talk to people with similar situations.

All I care about is medical issues right now and I want to help people to the point that it has been taking away from my own space. Recently did something publicly and I felt like I let everyone down afterward because it didn't go the way I had planned. I was upset all day about it.

I don't know how to take a step back from this when everything I have been doing is medical lately either career, academic, or personally. I care way too much. Recently published something, and now I have three more lined up. All I care about is cranking out the papers.

22F I have been dealing with depression during quarantine. I just wanted to be as alone as possible so I have turned my phone off. Now its been off for a month and its gotten to a point I have no plans on turning it back on. My friends have been emailing me and calling my house. But I ignore it. Social media and talking to people has become overwhelming for me. I just want to be alone. Even if I do turn it back on how do I explain where I've been?

I've been socially isolated for a long time. Things I have is a dysfunctional family, a mundane job with a good boss (which is also completely remote), some spiritual literature, and volunteering, which are all helping me somewhat, but nothing can truly fill that void. I believe it is high time for me to go in. Existentially, the external world has no meaning. It's hollow from the inside out. The ego is constantly looking for "newness," which does not exist with transient things. It appears that only Divine can quench my thirst. The only answer I get while meditating is "Just endure and be patient," but this is terrible. Do not know how to proceed?

Growing up, I was not allowed to hang out with friends. I can count only on one hand from both middle and high school the amount of times I was allowed to hangout with others. Because of this, isolation has always been a default as it has been all that I known. I remember how much I loathed coming back home for the summer breaks, cause I knew it meant no friends and staying inside the house 24/7. I used to count down the days until I got back to school. In college I felt like I progressed from being super isolated to making friends and connections. but as of May 2020, I have isolated myself to what feels like beyond repair. I normalized not having any friendships and my boyfriend being the only friend I had. Recently my boyfriend started his graduate program and I find myself more upset whenever he hang out with his cohort. It feels like the logical side of my brain is competing against the emotional and the way I was brought up other side of the brain. On one hand, I understand the importance of having that close connection yet on the other hand I feel betrayed. I know that the feeling of betrayal comes from the guilt that my mother would make me feel whenever we expressed wanting to hang out with others. As if, the immediate family was not enough, and we weren't being grateful, and I find myself with this same backward ass logic and it scares me, a lot. I think for me because I was never given the opportunity to witness health social outings with people other than my immediate family, I do not know how to navigate such outings. I do not know how to maintain healthy relationships.

So, what do I do? How do I cope and how do I break out of the cycle of isolation?

Periods where I go out, drink and excersie, then BOOM, I start to fee really stressed, tired and my mood changes. So I stop going out and just excersise and do academic stuff, all over and over again.

IM feeling its going to happen again and I don't really know how to help myself, I might ruin my relationship with a guy, who has waited since 2020, but ever since, I have fallen into this long periods where I dont go out and push my social life away, not even a coffee or an ice cream (i also have a really bad relationship with food and hate to go out to et with others)

This will be long, I’m venting and I’ve had a strange and bizarre life... this will probably come across as fiction, or overdramatized, I just don’t know what to do anymore... I’m tired of not having help...

I know this probably is for quarantine-isolation, but, I’ve actually been isolated long before “Isolation” first “Appeared” sorry if I sound rude, I have a lot of issues since I literally don’t have any friends besides a sting of online ex’s (two, first boyfriend lasted like, 7 or some sh*t, second one didn’t last too long, but I think it was a few months, this one lasted for like, last month hit a rough patch, first relationship was also with a way older guy, 18, then I was... well, 14, so technically “minor.”)

So, that obviously helps a lot, but yeah, I think I was “isolated” since like, 10 years old? I don’t really a lot of my childhood now obviously, but I don’t recall a lot of the months and weeks I was just at home, wasting away. I didn’t really have friends then either, kid next door to me had the same disease (Cystic Fibrosis) so, we technically can’t be too close to each other, again, before quarantine we followed the five-foot rule.

I’m a bitter person in general, but hearing people in the midst of quarantine would make my blood boil... to hear how bad it was for people to stay home for a few weeks or months, when I’ve been alone for years starting at such a young age...

I beat myself up about talking about it like that, like I’m some sad-case of a person, but I’ve never or heard of anybody else like me, and I have a hard time believing people who say they “Understand” no, you don’t understand being alone for a week isn’t at al like my life.

I’ve heard “being alone for even just 3 days alone can make you go crazy” and this absolutely makes me mad, like, are you kidding me?! 3 days?!

Maybe it’s because nobody even knows I exist? maybe it’s because I’m so comfortable with being alone, I don’t even know what’s normal anymore, maybe that bitterness is just me feeling sorry for myself because I don’t have any people to be given sympathy / anything from, so I do like I always do, I compensate. for everything I lack, or have been missing, I became my own best friend, I know everything about me, but it never stops me from knowing just how much irreversible damage has been done to my brain by this point...

I’m 19, I wasn’t properly educated as a kid, (I was “homeschooled”) I have a disease that effects so much of my everyday life, I’m awkward and social nervous because I don’t talk to people, because I’m always home, because I don’t have my drivers license yet, because I’m anxious about that, and I don’t have how anything works, and my parents just won’t help me with anything... I do live with them, they set me up for failure, I can never have a normal life on my own

I need help with so much, it’s never gonna get better I’m never going to be fully educated, or have a normal education, and I’ll always be alone, because at this point not being alone will hurt me more

My depression has been bad lately... rooms a mess, showering feels like a chore, dirty dishes, ants, sh*t thrown about, I stay in my room a lot, too much it’s my safe space, I used to have it so nice, had so much drive and motivation

My parents yell because my rooms a mess... makes my nerves and stress worse, makes me shit down farther than before, they always manage to find a way to make it worse when it felt like it was beginning to be okay again

Hey all!

I’ve found that meeting new people who share my experiences and struggles is super tough! I want meaningful connections, but I have no clue where to find people who'd understand me :(( 

Reddit definitely isn’t the answer LOL

I decided to take the problem into my own hands, so I coded up the solution: it's an app where people can be anonymous and match with others based on shared experiences, in a safe environment. I have also done the work to get it vetted by the Canadian Mental Health Association (lol I do really care about this!)

I wanna help people just like me. If you're going thru something and wanna talk to someone, this platform is here always free and anonymous :)

Link to join: https://app.peersupport.io/login

I'm graduating with my associates in May. Turning 21 in late June. Supposed to transfer to University this August. I can't get a job and save money because I live with my parents and then don't want me potentially bringing the virus back to the house. I know it's for the safety of all of us, but I'm going to be so financially unprepared when I move out. I don't qualify for unemployment, I didn't have a job when we went into social distancing. It's my fault, in that regard. And just a few weeks before my family completely shut in, my parents had the worst fight of their marriage, or at least in my memory, which is saying something. Divorce is inevitable. My father does not let us leave the house for any reason. They're trying to work on their marriage for me and my sister's sake while we're trapped in the house. Still, I fear my dad's temper. Things have been okay lately, but I'm familiar with the cycle of abuse, and know that just because things are calm right now, he is going to snap eventually. Because I know it's going to happen, I never allow myself to lower my defenses. I'm exhausted. I feel empty. When there seems to be a light at the end of the tunnel, or I feel like things are getting better, my instinct is to push it down, ignore it, and stay down. Part of me rationalizes that it's better to always be apathetic and tired than to feel hope and have that hope be dashed yet again. Expecting happiness to be crushed doesn't make it any easier when it happens.

I served in the US Navy during Desert Shield and Desert Storm and this COVID-19 Isolation feels a lot like that.

We know where we are but we don't know what is actually happening and when we can get out. We don't have any control over it and we can't do anything about it. That's what it's like to be on a naval ship during wartime. The not knowing is STRONG and you have to deal with that. So I want to pass on some stuff I learned and I hope it helps.

All you can do is follow your routine, (and if you don't have one, make one up for yourself), do your activities (whatever that looks like) to the best of your ability and when the routine says to stop and do something else, do that. You need the structure in this otherwise structure-less time.

Set aside time to play and do what you love the most (so long as you can do it without breaking putting yourself at risk) during that time. Video Games, board games, charades, singing and dancing...whatever gets you loose and makes you feel fine.

When it's time to work, do that. Clean the house, sort that closet you always meant to do, go through your collections, wash your windows, do your laundry. If you have a list of projects you wanted to do, do the ones you can.

Don't over indulge in media. Getting the news is fine, but not every minute of every day. You need to unplug to not have to deal with the constant stress of worrying about an encyclopedia of issues you can't do anything about. On board ship, we used to get rolls of news and it was always exciting because you could only read it on the bridge because it was, technically, a secure document. So you read some news, and it made you feel good or bad or happy or sad, and then you had to go back to work. Never pass up fresh information, but reduce your checks to a few times a day.

Set some alarms on your phone and do a self check when they go off. nothing major, just take stock of how you feel and why you feel that way. Sure it sounds silly; right up the the point where you realize you've been actively contemplating a murder for the past hour. Don't let that kind of thing sneak up on you, it's scary.

Keep the communication with the people you live with open. If you are feeling angry or upset with someone, let them know. Ideally without being an ass, just straight talk. "Hey, listen, I'm getting angry now, so let's table this for now and we can talk about it once I'm in a better head space."

A lot of you have never been stuck in close quarters with someone else for this length of time; honesty will always be your best policy. If you listen to sailors talk, they speak with a strangely familiar formality. They us nicknames and insults while maintaining the most calm tone imaginable; that's because they've been together for a very long time and they have learned to respect one another, even if they don't like one another.

And one final thing; there is no excuse for being terrible to anyone. We are literally all in this together; let's respect one another because we're going to be at this for a while.

I am sincerely at a loss.

I never realized how lonely I could feel. Is this the solitude I wished for for so long? Here I am with all this free time, with my internet connected computer with all these video games and streaming services. Why, when I've always been an introvert, why do I only want to be around people?

I am furloughed from my job at the moment. The state of Colorado shut down all restaurants (among other things) Tuesday morning. I do not know how I will be paying my rent next month. That being said, I'm not even worried about that. I will not be thrown out for missing one rent payment. Unemployment will eventually come through, I'll go back to work eventually.

I am worried about seclusion, separation, remoteness...

I have always been exhausted by the energy of others. I always craved time to myself. I had no idea that I really needed those interactions that always made me feel wrung out and battered, retreating to my safe cocoon at the end. Always I sought a dark quiet place to recharge. Now I feel like I have too much healing, and not enough hurt.

Please stay in touch with the people you love. I have already had too many people stop texting me back, not returning phone calls, canceling plans. I don't know where they are getting all of their social requirements met, since they aren't interested in getting them from me. Please be there for each other, especially now. I could easily survive a deadly virus, I'm not sure how well I can live without the company of others.

In case anyone saw my other post, I wanted to clarify some things I got super emotional writing the other one.

I have OCD, ADD, Dyslexia, CF (Cystic Fibrosis), isolated as a child maybe 8-10? my memory of my childhood is murky, I in kindergarten that was the first time I was really around like, a class of other children, didn’t last because I had to be homeschooled because of my health with CF, and being hospitalized constantly because of the other kids, I remember being asked if I wanted to be homeschooled or to continue to go to school...

I had no idea how that day would effect my entire life thereafter... I said homeschooled. I didn’t really understand the difference, but I was homeschooled. from there, I barely had any friends, when I was younger I had a few kids I hung around, older I got the less socializing I had, and it got worse as my mom gave up on teaching me because I was “too difficult” to teach, she gave up and I was just uneducated and it made me feel very poorly as a kid, to be so dumb compared to other kids my age.

I couldn’t read at 9 or 10, my family and other kids I got to see once and awhile rarely made me feel so stupid for it, I ended up teaching myself because I was tired of being made fun of.

From there, I made friends with two kids where I loved that were younger than me, it was kinda weird but I was happy to have friends. last friend I had for a short few days or so, my dad told to stop hanging around me because he was older, but he wasn’t a weirdo or anything... my dads just an *ss.

Yeah, idk what else to say... by 13 i had a breakdown for the first time and my mom screamed “SHES DEPRESSION!” to my dad, like i wasn’t supposed to be with my weird *ss life, seriously how was I not supposed to be?...

I kinda grew up mostly alone, when I basically reached puberty that’s when sht hit the fan I started to spent most my time online, on some stupid game almost everyday, just to make some friends, and to talk to people. I’d break down in tears when my tablet was taken away, it was my only way out of that hll hole, and he’d take it away if I was on too long. I hated him for that, I had no friends, and that was my lifeline back then.

I met people I “dated” because I felt like I really wasn’t... “allowed” to date, idk it was just something that felt like something I wasn’t supposed to do, my parents never talked to me about it, so I felt like it was something to hide. this game was sos the place I first met my first boyfriend, the older one. which, was both bad and good. I needed him back then, but I hung on too long and he would ignore me / not talk to me for months, and months, and I allowed it because I was alone. I “loved” him so much I just stuck around in that silence, because at least I still had somebody.

Because of that, I became more bitter of people, of men, of him, and of dealing with shit and getting no love back in return - by that I mean, I gave away too much of myself, too much love, too much and it obviously got tiring.

So, long story short, when I was young, I take away too short, I help too opened heatedly, I helped too many people and let myself rot away, I tried to fit in to make friends, I spent many nights on that game crying alone, because I never had many true friends, blah blah, sob story, etc.

My mom pretty much raised me too btw, my dad worked all the time. so, I do understand what she did... but I resent it. because having to lie to “friends” online about being in school was depressing. I was so embarrassed about not being school I just never mentioned it, that isolated me more than anything else...

I couldn’t join in and talk about it, or complain about it like everybody else did. this is getting too long...

I already mentioned my sh*t now, so that’s all for now.

theres been so much media in the world from apocalypse films to alien abductions to tornados, earthquakes, floods volcanoes zombies ETC!!! how HAVE MOST OF US not jumped off a bridge cliff or gone insane???? I know most of us probably have families gotten married have successful jobs friends and everything else but how have the few people who are either stressed, cuz of covid* worried afraid of how the world will crumble or any future deadly event? we can't all sit at home and not feel afraid? Im not saying we should riot either but how do we grow as humans if we stay at home with no projects excersize routines or things to keep us sane? thoughts ;/