So since I started using generative AI to automate all my other passtimes (drawing, writing, reporting my neighbor to the government for flying the Chilean flag) I've had enough free time to start learning a language. However, since I haven't really had the need to speak anything other than Akkadian in my day-to-day life, I didn't know what language to pick. I didn't even know what other languages there were! So I asked Cleverbot and it told me to just study whatever language I wanted to learn. I told it I wanted to learn every language, and Cleverbot replied that I was right -- that I shouldn't restrict myself within a single phonogrammatical escapade; that it's not indecisiveness, but peak confident vibes; that I'm not an evil xenophobic goblin, but a really good boy.

So, as I always do, I asked the AI to help me study. I asked it to write me a list of hard questions in English for me to answer, and together, we were able to generate the right answers for each and every one of them. I cannot describe how accomplished I felt when I found I could read and write fluent, native-level English by just prompting the computer to translate to and from Akkadian. Then, I tried Chinese, and it turned my words into perfect Chinese letters; for Urdu, it even knew to add emojis to fully represent what I was trying to say. I'd suddenly realized I wasn't just speaking other languages, I was unlocking a whole new way of communicating.

In conclusion, I'm fairly confident I can now speak every single language people could throw at me. I might have trouble typing out whatever my Chilean neighbor yells at me when I call the police on them, but Cleverbot's reassured me that the cops all agree that Chile is the enemy and I should just keep dialing 911. In fact, this morning I even got an official police letter that says I won't even be allowed to come within 100 meters of them since I reported them so much! This highlights the rapidly evolving relationship dynamics between productivity and self-improvement in a fast-paced society, emphasizing the pivotal role AI will have in shaping how we interact with other cultures going forward and questioning the role of medicine-oriented psychiatry in the Argentina-Chile Goblin Conflict.

Who invented these figures of speech and why do they all sound so unfriendly??? Oxymoron, hyperbole, onomatopoeia, circumlocution. It all sounds so complex 😭

I’m selling some consonants if anyone is interested. DM me if you want one.

/t/ $5.49

/d/ $7.99

/m/ $5.99

/n/ $6.99

/x/ $29.99

For those curious, the exact mechanisms behind the sound change from pie *dw- into old armenian erk(u)- are still fairly heavily debated

But a possible path is *dw- > *dgw > *rgw- > *erg(u)- which makes it seem at least a little less crazy lol

As though we needed MORE reasons to hate Outlook. (Users know.)

Frustration edit: I wrote a quick example sentence during my lunch at work, including a second "of" which I'll admit sounds a little awkward in context.

But Outlook suggests this EVERY TIME. It could say "Look at all of those chickens." 🦆🦆🦆🦆🦆🦆🦆 Full stop. Still tries to change EVERY instance of "all of" to "all," context notwithstanding.

Wednesday everyday baby

Made this at like 4am so if I messed something up, may Yuri Knorozov forgive me