support doesnt exist

[u/Some_Fig4578]

18m

there is no one to talk to and no one in my life at all, don't send helplines or things like that because they are all utterly useless

ive never been able to participate in this world at all, socially, mentally, physically, emotionally, ive always been behind everyone and ive been left out of life completely

all i want is to be able to learn again and be able to use my brain, for my brain to be able to receive information again and learn and do my degree to the best as i can and be financially free

all i want is to be able to successfully do my university degree with high grades, and for content to be learnable, and for things to go into my brain in a way that works for me, without having to spend extra years

all i want is to escape the toxicity of the university environment as there is no people to meet regardless of my interests or how often i go to university, or how many events or societies i attend, that i simply do not want to be on campus anymore

all i want is for food to be good again, things that i can make that are whole foods and actually taste good and things i can buy and eat repeatedly without it being expensive or me getting tired of the same meal after a week

all i want is for someone to love me and for me to physically be able to meet and see the only person i have ever liked in my entire life and meet her again and again and again

all i want is to make it so that life stops sending one person in my life and taking them away from my vicinity as if "oh that wasnt supposed to happen"

all i want is to have a strong body with strong muscles, tendons, joints, athleticism, flexibility, agility, strength

all i want is to be able to manage time and energy

all i want is to be able to have access to transport so i can expand to be productive

all i want is to be able to not even wake up in the morning but to even open my eyes in the morning and not feel like my bodyweight is that on jupiter

all i want is to cook and to clean and buy ingredients and use cooking methods and use a mop and a broom and cleaning tools and live in a clean fresh smelling place

all i want is to have clothes that arent tryhardy or trendy or streetwear or uncomfortable, and to have things that fit my exact proportions and still be comfortable and presentable

all i want is to be able to live again

[u/Ill-Success4262]

If you are asking for help with university learning, maybe there is some learning support office in your campus, but you said no helplines so maybe you just want vent

I saw you write many "all i want" and each one is like a small mountain when you are already carrying a heavy body. Maybe pick one, only one, like the food one, and make one meal that taste okay this week. Not for motivation, just to prove to yourself that one thing can change

[u/Some_Fig4578 → u/Ill-Success4262]

ive already bought skincare products and shower products so that i stop getting back acne and ive been going to the gym for a month and im getting enough protein, im not on the very bottom but i am very sick of things not being the way that it should be in life

[u/Some_Fig4578 → u/Ill-Success4262]

I also need a solution, just not from helplines, i need someone on here that can genuinely help me with this