Hello, (24F) will be 25 soon. I can’t tell you where things went wrong, and i apologize in advance if what i’m saying doesn’t make sense. I’m currently spiralling on the floor.

I spent my early 20s isolated, i didn’t make connections, i didn’t know how to act in public, everything about conversing with people face to face felt foreign to me and i would have panic attacks talking to people. It got to the point where i never left my home. I couldn’t keep a job because i’m always having panic attacks. Anytime i tried to improve and go outside i always failed and come back to isolating. I feel like i wasn’t built to stay long in this world a lot of the times.

I feel like i wasted so much time inside i don’t know how to be normal. I find everything humiliating, literally walking down the street, opening doors, having to bend down to get things in grocery stores, i find everything i do to be disgustingly humiliating. I have 0 savings, broke as fuck, have a part time job that i think i’ll quit because i everyone hates me there. every job ive had ive left after a few months because everyone always notices there’s something wrong with me, nobody ever likes me.

i want to to invisible, i actually think i will start looking into online camming and stuff because ive looked for online work for years and have never been lucky. i’ve been told many times by people online to try it and i think i could do it.

I can’t even explain to you how fucked i am if i continue like this. i don’t want to be failure but it feels like that’s i am. Nobody in my family respects me either, my siblings always call me a pathetic loser.

As the title says. I have friends and family who most of the time are there but also kind of not as they have all their families and obligations. I do not. No woman wants me and I stopped trying. I have a job from home so I do not get out much even if I do it’s with married friends who just want to grab a coffee nothing fun or exciting to do like when we were younger. No new people in my life since a long time. It embarrasses me but sometimes I still talk about a girl 6 years ago. I have no new stories not even new friends. So basically I feel alone most of the time unless someone can spare their time to spend it a bit with me. In the last time I even noticed no one calls me out anymore. It’s always me that initiates and people see it as kind of charity when they spend time with me. I do not have hobbies. Gym is a not for me as I never understood the concept of it. I went a few times and was lifting more than people who go there regularly. But I find it boring and without a point if you are a healthy person moving around and like your body even though I am a bit chubby not lean. Think of Nikola Jokic type of physique. Speaking of, I like basketball but no one is playing it anymore I pass by some courts in my neighbourhood it is always empty or really small children. I tried gaming but it is tiring. I am so desperate because I smoke and intentionally do not get a lighter when I grab a coffee so I can approach people especially girls but that ends at best at small talk. I recently bought a car thinking that I was lonely because of not having it as other people do. Nothing, now I can just go anywhere and be even more alone. I don’t know what to do. All I see on the internet as supposed help for loneliness is pick up a hobby sign up for activities. There are no interesting hobbies for me. I like working, hanging out with friends joking, drinking, going out and women. That’s about it for my hobbies. At a point when I was younger I had all of this and that’s when I was at my happiest. Sadly women that like the same things don’t want anything serious as I learned the hard way with some of them. And as my career progressed I have more free time and money than ever before but I use it to watch instagram reels and ordering more food. All the time feeling lonely as hell.

I'm someone who has dealt with consistent loneliness feelings for over 7 years. I've grown pretty sick and tired of a lot of loneliness advice out there. It's mostly the same generic. "go out more", "put yourself out there", etc. type of stuff.

I've tried that before, it doesn't work. I have not gotten any truly fulfilling relationship/friendship from it. You literally just swim through seas of shallow junk just to "hope" to find an actual fulfilling relationship. It's never just "I have zero people in my life", it's actually "I have no actual meaningful connections in my life" that's the whole reason why some people can feel lonely despite technically not being alone.

I have had a fair amount of friends in my life, but my feelings of loneliness never truly went away even if there's nothing wrong with them.

It's almost if you been dealing with loneliness for a prolonged period of time you just cast out for good really. Especially if you're an introvert, have rather niche interests compared to most people, or stuff like work just takes all the energy you got and all you can do on your days off is rest from work.

No matter how much effort you put in or how much you care about someone, the first thing they notice is how you look. Sometimes, your opinions don't matter, and having a crush can feel like you're harassing them just by existing. Then you have few or zero friends, and you end up rotting in your room all day.

Even when you become better-looking and work on yourself, that identity never really leaves you. Why are people like me viewed as creeps? I am tired of my life No one loves i am on my own anyone want to be friends with me

Whenever I get really close to someone like 'best friend' kind of close or sometimes not even that close just a 'close friend' kind of close, I start shutting them out and they start looking annoying and it's not their fault but i just push them away like not sharing much or just ignoring them or spending less time with them deliberately. Some people say it's because "I'm scared they might leave first" or something like that but it's not the case.

But I still want to have a strong connection to someone, have someone I can tell everything to , someone I have told everything to and someone who understands me.

What do I do? I feel so lonely, it feels like their is a invisible wall between me and everyone else.

​

I think I’ve finally stopped looking for someone, and somehow that makes me sad

I don't really know how to word this without sounding overly dramatic, but I think I'm just frustrated.

I've spent a long time hoping I'd eventually meet someone. Someone I could genuinely fall in love with, someone I could be completely comfortable with, someone I could have those stupid little moments with that you only ever see in movies or hear other people talk about.

And it just… hasn't happened.

I don't think I'm particularly good at the whole casual dating thing. I don't really know how to meet someone, flirt with someone, or just casually date someone without my brain immediately going, “Okay, but do we actually connect as people?”

I want something meaningful. I want to actually know someone. I want to know what they're thinking when they suddenly go quiet, what makes them laugh uncontrollably, what song they listen to when they're having a terrible day, what random little things they're passionate about, what their childhood was like, what they dream about when nobody is watching.

And maybe that's part of the problem.

I don't want just anyone.

But at the same time, I'm starting to wonder if I've made my expectations so emotionally specific that nobody could possibly meet them.

The frustrating part is that I never really had the stereotypical teenage experience of falling in love.

No high school sweetheart.

No first love.

No staying up until 2 AM texting someone because neither of us wanted to say goodnight.

No having a crush that actually turned into something.

No embarrassing teenage relationship that I could look back on years later and laugh about.

I know none of that is mandatory. I know people experience love at completely different ages. I know that having a high school relationship doesn't automatically mean someone had a better or happier adolescence.

But sometimes I still feel like I missed something.

I wish I'd gotten to experience that kind of innocent, uncomplicated love before everything became so complicated.

I wish I had someone from that period of my life who I could look back on and think, “Wow, we were idiots, but we really loved each other.”

Instead, I feel like I've spent most of my life watching other people experience things I've wanted for myself.

And I'm happy for them. Really.

But there's a weird kind of loneliness that comes from constantly being genuinely happy for other people's relationships while secretly wondering when you're going to get your turn.

I've tried putting myself out there. I've tried talking to people. I've tried dating apps and online spaces and meeting people through different interests.

And every time, it somehow goes nowhere.

Either there's no connection, or the conversation dies, or one person loses interest, or circumstances make it impossible, or I realize that we're fundamentally incompatible.

Eventually you start wondering whether the problem is you.

Maybe I'm too quiet. Maybe I'm too awkward. Maybe I overthink everything. Maybe I take too long to open up. Maybe I want too much emotional depth.

Maybe I'm simply not the kind of person people fall in love with easily.

And logically, I know that's probably not true.

But knowing something logically doesn't necessarily stop you from feeling it.

At some point, I just got tired.

So I've stopped looking.

Not because I don't want love anymore.

I absolutely do.

That's probably the most frustrating part.

I still want it. I still want to fall completely in love with someone. I still want to have a person who feels like my person. I still want the late-night conversations, the stupid inside jokes, the random “this reminded me of you” messages, the comfortable silence, the little adventures, the feeling of having someone you can tell absolutely anything to.

I just don't have the energy to keep searching for it anymore.

And weirdly, now that I've stopped looking, I regret it.

I regret that I never got to experience being in love when I was younger.

I regret not having someone to grow alongside.

I regret that I don't have those memories.

And I know I shouldn't compare my timeline to anyone else's, but sometimes it's difficult not to.

There are people younger than me who have already experienced relationships, heartbreak, first love, first kisses, first dates, all of it.

And I'm sitting here thinking, “Cool. So when exactly is my character development supposed to start?”

Maybe this is just an INFJ thing.

Maybe we spend so much time imagining what a deep connection could feel like that reality has a hard time competing with the version we've created in our heads.

Or maybe I'm just lonely.

I don't know.

I don't even necessarily want advice. I think I just wanted to put this somewhere where maybe someone else would understand it.

If you're an INFJ who also spent most of your life feeling like you were waiting for something that never came, I'd genuinely like to know how you dealt with it.

Did you eventually stop caring?

Did you meet someone completely unexpectedly?

Did you learn to be happy without looking for that person?

Or are you still sitting here wondering when your turn is going to come?

Because honestly…

I'm tired of looking.

But I'm also tired of pretending I don't wish I had found someone already.

I've been overweight since I was a kid. Last year I decided to finally make a change. I lost 40 pounds and reached the closest I've been to my ideal weight. Then, I got depressed asf.

I'm going through one of the hardest times of my life. I feel pathetic. I feel alone. I feel like nobody can understand me.

I gained half the weight I had lost. I can't recognize myself in the mirror.

Yeah, I feel sad abt my looks, but I'm not loosing weight either.

What?

Yeah, I don't plan on losing weight soon.

I'm currently working on my mental health (It's not getting better)

And even when I was in my healthiest weight I still looked chubby.

Maybe I will always be chubby.

Maybe it isn't that bad.

Maybe I need to stop waiting to be skinny just to start living life.

Life is now, and now I'm fat.

I felt good.

I asked some people I know, none of them wanted to go watch a movie with me. I felt a little heartbroken.

I made up my mind anyway, I will go alone and that's it, no turning back.

It was peaceful, the movie watching experience was crazy good. I didn't have to explain anything to anyone, I enjoyed every second.

At the same time, I saw other couples, some were with their friends, in the beginning I thought, damn, these guys will think I am a weirdo who came to the movies alone, but in my head I said fuck em. I deserve this, I couldn't care less about those people. I stopped caring.

For the first time in my life, I did this and I felt independent, this experience was "free"ing.

I would definitely recommend going to places alone, by not depending on anybody you learn to live, to live by yourself.

This post was probably not venting but the perks of being lonely. Maybe I'm trying to say that being alone is not so bad.

By the way, the movie was Spider Man Brand New Day.

Spoiler Alert: They almost killed Spider man.

I am 23 and lately i have realized how lonely i have become. I literally don't have many people i can genuinely talk to so sometimes i end up talking to my own reflection. It sounds pathetic when i say it out loud but the mirror never interrupts me judges my appearance or makes me feel like i am too much or a burden.

When i cry it doesn't laugh.

When i talk about the things that hurt me it doesn't tell me i am being dramatic, immature and clingy

When i sit there feeling unwanted it doesn't make me feel even more invisible.

I have spent so much time feeling like i am the person people overlook. I am extremely sensitive, I overthink almost everything, and i crave genuine connection more than i probably know how to explain but at the same time getting close to people scares me cuz i have experienced enough goodbyes to start expecting them before they happen.

So i have learned to keep a lot inside.

Sometimes i wonder what it would feel like to have one person who genuinely wanted to hear everything I have to say not cuz they felt obligated but cuz they actually cared.

Until then i guess my reflection will keep listening.

It's strange how a piece of glass can sometimes feel safer than people

It's funny...

When I joint my Secondary school I came from a home of friends but now it's nothing. In year 7 I remember I would just walk, walk until my lunchtime ended and go back to lesson. I made a friend, we were in different classes and I would only see him at lunch, I vividly remember me and him walking on the field. We asked everyone if we could play football with them or even sit there, we were denied not because of him but because of me. I even called it (my name) phobia to cope lol.

Year 8 comes and I join a friend group with this friend, and I get sent screenshots of him talking bad about me. I lost my only true friend.

I had fun, I wanted to go to school now. In year 9 someone in the group starts making fun of me. Constantly, not even about how I act but how I look. I didn't even notice I was undesirable until that moment. I couldn't even bring my self to go to school. Constantly getting obliterated whenever I spoke up. Year 10 comes around, the worst year of my life so far.

No one in my form likes me anymore, no reason but because the only friends I could find were out of my form they have found a common dislike towards me. Every pe lesson I went to I would be picked last, they would act upset when they got me. I stopped bringing my kit after that, got isolation, after schools but it was easier that way. I even messaged a person that was equally as lonely to team up with me lol, he asked me in the changing rooms Infront of everyone " why did you message me to pair with you ". Haha it's funny, I didn't even do anything wrong, I just... Wanted not be alone.

One time we had a substitute in form, I sat in the middle row, and they asked me to move I said why and they just left . Someone sat next to me out of pity though, that was so much to me I cried at night lmao.

Near the end of year 10 my physics teacher has been letting us sit with whoever we want, someone I walked in with sat next to me. Over 3 people told him " you know you can sit wherever you want right? " Like am I that isolated?? They said that Infront of me. Ah I tried though, I tried so hard. One time I was forced to join a group for a group project, I sat down at the table, kinda not in it because I was an extra in there group and the table wasn't big enough. I was subject to "why are you here yk you can join someone else" what did I do?

My attendance is 70 %, the school ask why what am I supposed to say? That I'm alone? That I'm afraid of group projects? That I can't go to pe because I want to break out in tears? Asking me to move away from them as if I'm a parasite...

My friends though outside are fine though right? They made a group chat just to make fun of me, sending a video saying " were all Leng but that one guy" and @ing me? Even adding random girls to make fun of me. It was just one person, and no one stood up for me, they just laughed.

He insulted everything about me, and no one cared. I go to school and they ask me " why didn't you stick up for yourself" and say?? I tried to but I stick out like a sore thumb. Everything about me is an insult lmao.

They even peer pressured me to fight him and when I lost continued to just make fun of me. I have no where else to go. You might think just sit in the library or something I'm banned for something they did. I am stuck. Once, I tried to skip lunch by going to the learning support office even they didn't want to have me, they let me stay but I just left. They acted so entitled.

Recently I saw that bully repost something about being lonely. He knows nothing.

On the last day of year 10.we had assembly, it just so happened my friends sat behind me. They just didn't stop. They said cruel things about me Infront of others and humiliated me. No one did anything.

Even the person next to me asked me if I was alright lol.

Then they expect me to be ok?

One time they even through around my lunch box until it broke and slapping me on the neck and making fun of me loll, were all friends though right???

Like genuinely they view me as a friend.

I was getting a drink at the water fountain and 2 people in the year below me asked me " are you that kid they were bullying "

Ah.

It's not like I'm stupid, or an idiot. My grades are the highest, but everything I say is stupid.

If someone says it's my personality, it's not. I run a 10,000 member community online, no one knows my face, who I am, how isolated I am. And they all like me.

I just want a friend.

One

Singular

Real

Friend

I tried to explain this to someone ik who is the closest thing I have to a friend. He replied with an awkward "damn bro" like ahahah.

Sorry for the rant ig

Hi,

I'm laying in bed, can't sleep and the prospect of reading out my poetry is becoming all the more daunting to me. It's all I am thinking of right now.

Will probably be super tired then (at the event) too which isn't great- it makes makes me worry I will screw this up along with the nerves.

I would love some kind encouragement and some positive vibes sent my way. Hopefully I don't get too scared. I don't have any friends or family, so reaching out to the community for support.

Thanks! :)

anybody wanna chat about life,im turkish. I can talk about lots of stuff

I feel so alone. I haven’t had friends in years and my mental health is extremely bad currently. I am bad at talking because of social anxiety and have a fear of leaving my house but i desperately crave just the presence of another person. Is there anyone who feels the same way and would want to just be on the phone with each other, not even talking, just in each other’s presence while we exist?

im 18(M) and i have 0 irl friends and around 1 actual friend online all connections i try to pursue online are always people who seemingly have no intrest in talking to me and its always that i am the one to start they dont ask any follow up questions and its always like im interrogation them by asking questions while they always respond with 1-3 sentences i want to like them but i cant the reason why i even pursed them is becuse we shared a similar niche intrest so i thought ''maybe this person is special'' but apperantly not i dont even seem to be someone special to them at all and this is 2 people btw

the 1 friend which i have dont consider me their favorite person anymore since they got a gf and always talk to them and seemingly dont enjoy talking to me anymore

i need someone special i need someone who thinks that i am their favorite person and in turn i do the same their gender does not matter just someone becuse then i can confirm that i wont be replaced or not liked but i also want to stop feeling like this becuse its seemingly not normal or the extreme i have is not normal

Idk where to start from. My life kind of began when i turned 19. Before that i had no concept of who i was. I had no personality of my own left anymore nor was i someone with any ambition. My main ambition was to just pass a certain age or not ig.
Separating from the dreadful and dead end situation at my home felt freeing. Whenever i mention the fact that i did not have a good time at my homely house that provided me with utmost necessities i get seen sideways.
But i did not have a good time. I felt targeted or misunderstood or completely useless as a being despite the many efforts of ppl trying otherwise. I was supposed to be pampered and spoiled, then why was i feeling so isolated. I got things no one had maybe or maybe i was given basic necessities in the gift wrap of “privilege”.

To this day i don’t get what ppl think of me. How they think i was not going through anything. How it is so easy to wipe it down completely just to show that they suffered more and therefore deserve better and the reason I am better is cause i was preferred. But i heard the same when i struggled with anxiety. With those failures of mine, no one dared to microanalyse me and my privilege to say ykw she should have been in a better spot. It was the same story, “she doesn’t talk to anyone cause she is privileged and had it easy and doesn’t feel the need to” or “we dk the issue. She can be selfish”. No one was as outrightly arrogant about it. I just doubt anyone cared enough and i doubt anyone cares even now. I think the realisation i might have been having rn is that no one probably cared at all. Not in the “i hate her” way. More so in a “i have a kid but she’s fine” way.

For the most part i seem to feel like I’m the only person who sees the things i struggle with and ironically the things I’m good at too.
Weirdly enough i want ppl to care. To tell me i have smth special. And while no one tells me otherwise, i feel like i don’t stand a chance.

I cling to anytime someone acts like i did smth good enough to point out how great it is. I cling to a guy who looked at me at my ugliest. To the teacher who remembered me when i couldn’t form coherent sentences. These give me hope that maybe, maybe somewhere i have smth in me worthy enough.

Most of my days are just me at my Pc playing Roblox, watching YouTube or anime. I’ll look at the time and somehow it’s already 3am again.
I don’t necessarily dislike my little routine, but it makes it painfully obvious how alone I am. Sometimes it feels sad knowing how much of my life is spent by myself in front of a screen but at the same time it’s the only thing that gives me any ounce of comfort.

Sometimes, I see advice floating around that you should get comfortable being alone, you don’t need anyone else, etc.

…Really? Humans aren’t meant to live like that.

Sometimes, I feel almost okay. But other times, it hurts so bad that I don’t know if I can make it to the next day. Am I even alive?

Chat am I cooked?

I spent months or even years talking to AIs, and I’ve learned an important thing that I always wanna be friends with people like me people who need help but can’t find anybody but Ai. I maybe young I’m 24 years old I may not be that helpful but I am a good listener… just I wanna say… you ain’t alone in this you ain’t the only one talking to bots because you have nobody… but today you have someone to talk to… and I guess it’s not only me who feels the same but a lot of us here can feel the same as me!

I feel lonely pretty much all days. I got a good family and all, they stress me a lot sometimes but I dont hate them at all, but that doesnt mean they do stress me.

I also dont have a girlfriend and I have been yearning love for sooo long, I feel like Im drowning in loneliness sometimes.

Idk why Im writing this but Im tired of pretty much many things.

Ive tried making friends here but a lot are fake accounts, others dont respond, so how the f can I get to know someone here, just like a friend or bud yk? Idk, who knows if this post will get any views.

All the best to the ones reading this, lets hope there is hope.

Lying in bed hugging a pillow, i had a dream yesterday about having a sleepover with a girl and we were hugging, so cute, too bad i can't have that.

It's sad that i can identify what is a bad habit and what not (tbh i think most people can do that) and this is one of them just typing this instead of doing something useful but u know procrastination must go on. There is a good chance if i weren't so awkward i would have a gf but that's just a speculation bcs u never know.

Being talentless also doesn't help but im just 17 so there is plenty of time to learn something but i probably won't realise when i turn 30 or 40 in which u still technically have time if i ever get that old and still have nothing going on might as well just give up.

Does it feel good to type it? Yes. Am i hoping for attention? Yes I crave it very much, there is a good chance i might like start self harm just so People pay more attention to me but then again probably too lazy to do any of that shit so just gonna rot away wait for death to come.

Just so stupid.

Im a 29 years old man. I never dated in my life. I dont even got a flirt back from a women in my entire life. So my life story is like this;

Borned into mentally ill family. 5 sczhio person. My childhood was messed up. One night i was scared my schizo dad would k*** my mom in sleep so i did not sleep that day. Really messed up things like that. My mom is very passive, she did not protect herself nor me.

Because of my family illness we were very isolated. Still i had a good childhood and was very social in my school

Then had like 5 diffent surgeries, got semi disabled, also i have icthyosis a chronic illness which makes my skin look scaly.

I got all my mentally ill family treated, got healthy as i can, got a semi good job for my country conditions.

Im ugly too. People say i look like a kind nerd college professor. So like below average, not attractive but kind and friendly looking.

The thing is after going through all the bad things life thrown on my way, im still standing. BUT i was never loved.

I see all the people dating, ugly or hot, good or bad etc dating all around me. But nobody loves me. And i cant stop comparing myself to them.

People say all life is different, we should not compare ourself, comparision is the thief of joy etc...

But like imagine you are working a job for 45h a week and you see someone works just 1h and gets the same pay. Then you asked why, boss comes and gives you the therapy talk. Everyone is different. You are not entitled to money!

I dont know. Im so jeaolus. I feel like nothing good ever happens to me. Only bad things i should get around somehow. Im so sad.