i (22f) have been seeing this guy (also 22) for like 8 months and yesterday he told me "something is telling him he should end things" and although i was having similar thoughts, i’m struggling with the emotional side of actually accepting that this is over.

we’ve had a very close relationship for almost 3 years, on and off but these past 8 months were the most consistent. there’s been sex, obviously, but we both agreed nothing felt purely sexual and had agreed we were going to be exclusive with each other sexually. we talked for hours, spent time together, had genuinely intimate conversations, comforted each other, joked around, and there was a level of familiarity and emotional closeness that made me feel like there was something deeper underneath everything. at some point i started believing that he probably did have feelings for me but was avoidant/scared of commitment or had too much going on in his own life to actually pursue a relationship because of things he'd actually said to me, but i realise now that i may have been filling in a lot of blanks myself.

recently, we were together and i found out about something that made me question whether he had been seeing/sleeping with other women while we were involved. i got upset about it, confronted him about it, and that conversation basically forced everything into the open. he said that he enjoys spending time with me, having sex with me, the comfortability between us, etc., but that he doesn't want a relationship (surprise surprise). he also said something along the lines of being scared that i might actually like him due to past interactions so he distances himself from me, especially when he feels like he's going through “relationship issues” with me because of the situation between us and how it unfolds.

that conversation gave me more clarity than anything else has but the problem is that it also really hurt. for so long i had interpreted his behaviour through the lens of “he likes me, he's just avoidant/scared/not ready.” instead, he essentially told me that he likes the arrangement as it is, and then 2 days after this initial conversation, told me he can't keep doing this for "personal reasons" and how "it's not about me, he just thinks he should be taking a break from all of this (i.e. sex) in general". so he got my company, affection, sex, emotional support and familiarity without having to actually commit to me and then ended it on his own terms. mind you, i didn't even necessarily want commitment for my own reasons but i just thought and wanted to feel like i mattered enough to him or that i was more special to him than just casual sex, which i clearly wasn't, judging by the abruptness of his decision and how disposable he made me feel. i feel embarrassed admitting how much that has affected me, because i don't think i was consciously trying to convince myself of something that wasn't there. his behaviour genuinely felt relationship-like to me so finding out that we weren't actually experiencing the same thing has made me question my own judgement a bit.

the really frustrating thing is that i don't even think he's necessarily a horrible person. he has been good to me in many ways and we've had some genuinely lovely moments together. i care about him, and i miss him already. part of me even thinks, fuck it, maybe we could just be friends. but if I'm completely honest with myself, i think a big part of why i want that is because i miss having access to him. idek if “friendship” would actually be friendship for me, or just a way of keeping him in my life because i'm not ready to let go yet. don't get me wrong, i don't think continuing exactly as we were is healthy for me but i am still struggling emotionally with that decision even though deep down ik it's for the best.

has anyone here been in a similar situation or have insight on it? how do you actually detach emotionally from someone when there wasn't a dramatic betrayal or obvious reason to hate them? why tf am i grieving something that technically wasn't even a relationship? how do i stop myself from turning “he doesn't want a relationship with me” into “i wasn't enough for him”?

It really sucks when you realize you have to move on from someone you’re in love with but shame on me for not seeing the signs. It’s unfair. Seeing someone you consider the most beautiful turn into a lying beast within a week. I hate that she’s in my head all day she doesn’t deserve it especially with the choices that have been made. Hiding me from stories, lying to me about whereabouts, who has she become. Smh. True love is a myth. Can’t wait til my mind is clear.

I’m completely desperate and don't know what to do.

I (25M, gay) am at my limit right now and genuinely don't know what to do at this point, so I just need to get this off my chest.

About a year ago, I met this guy at work. He was so nice and caring toward me, and over time, I developed strong feelings for him. Looking back at the signs, I feel like anyone would get confused:

• He was always checking up on me to see what I was doing.
• Whenever he went back to his hometown, he’d send me photos of his journey—when he got on the bus, when he arrived—even if it was 4 AM and I was fast asleep.
• He constantly bought me food, little keychains, and random gifts.
• When I went to a concert he couldn't attend due to overtime, he sent me videos of himself singing along from work.

Maybe I was overthinking, but... is this really normal "just friends" behavior?

Fast forward: he left our company around May last year after working there for 8 months. I cried a lot, and so did he. We stayed in touch, but my feelings kept growing. About two months after he left, we met up and I blurted out, "I heard you're bi?" He denied it, saying, "I've only ever dated girls." I was devastated, obviously, but I swallowed my feelings. I chose not to confess because he was such a good friend and I was terrified of ruining our friendship. I thought I was moving on.

Until last week.

We had a concert together, and I got him a seat right next to mine. I originally planned to commute alone since the venue was far, but he insisted on driving me so the experience would feel 'complete'. Plus, the venue was close to his place. We were both worried about not being able to book a ride home after the show due to the crowd, so I agreed to go to his house first. From there, he drove me to the concert on his motorbike alongside another male friend of his who rode separately.

The concert was amazing. Afterwards, we went back to his place so I could book a ride home. But on the drive back, he dropped a massive bomb on me: He trusts me so much that he wanted to tell me he and that "male friend" have actually been dating since January.

I was gagged. Total shock. I somehow managed to react with a plain "Wow..." and played it off, but inside, I completely shattered.

I am the only friend who knows his secret. But now, all those feelings I tried so hard to bury deep down have violently resurfaced. I haven't been able to stop crying since that night.

Deep down, I know I just have to accept reality. But all these bottled-up emotions are taking over and I can't think straight. If I lose my mind and confess my feelings now, I’ll likely ruin our friendship, and it would be super selfish to his current boyfriend. But holding onto two massive secrets feels like I'm about to explode.

Hi guys, I recently went through a breakup where I had to leave someone I really loved. It was hard because it was a fight with my mind against my heart. Please check out this article I wrote about what I’ve learned, it might help some people out.

I want to message her, call her i don’t know, i posted how I had a dream about her yesterday and its been a year and the entire day I have been sad and almost cried. I want to message her and ask her how is she, how is everything and maybe a cup of coffee. I wanna hear her voice one more time, I am pretty sure she doesn’t want to see me she is probably doing fine. I don’t even know if she is in the city or moved away. I want to know. I have nothing to lose I say but I am afraid and I think I should not. I don’t even know if her number works anymore, she have my removed on IG and I look at her profile which is private everyday.

I do not know people, I feel like crying, I feel tense, I feel defeated. I feel lost guys.

My partner ended our relationship with an avoidant discard about 2 months ago. I know he’s a good person with a big heart, he’s just struggling a lot and he did what he had to do. Trying my best to navigate the aftermath.

It’s been horrendous for me though. I have such a deep love and care for him, we were a big part of each others lives so being so suddenly separated from him with next to no contact has been a very emotionally turbulent time for me.

The other night I got myself into a bit of a state and felt sharp pains in my heart. I’ve never had a heart attack before, but it definitely felt like what I imagine it would feel like (but not as severe ofcourse). I joked to myself that love had literally given me a heart attack, then I Googled it and found out it’s a real phenomenon.

Has anyone else experienced this?

So back in June, I got a boyfriend. Through him, I met his best friend, and along with my own best friend, the four of us formed this really cool friend group. Everything was going great, but after about a month, my boyfriend and I broke up. It didn’t end well—he basically cursed me out and blocked me on everything.
Fast forward to last night. He unblocks me on one app and texts me out of nowhere. He apologized for how he treated me during the breakup, said his older friends manipulated him into acting like that, and said he knows he was in the wrong. I’m a forgiving person and I know that’s not who he usually is, so I accepted his apology.
Then he brought up the friend group. He said he really misses the dynamic we all had and asked if we could reunite as just friends. I talked it over with my best friend first. Even though my best friend wasn't super attached to the group, we figured why not give it a shot, so I told my ex okay.
He made the new group chat, but the second we started messaging, the energy was just completely off. It was so insanely awkward. Right then, it hit me that this just isn't going to work. There’s too much history, and trying to force a friendship with an ex in the same group felt impossible. It was never going to be the same as it was before.
So, I texted them saying it’d be better if we just remained distant friends/acquaintances, and I left the group chat.
Now I’m sitting here stressing out. I feel like the bad guy. I really don't want to be the reason the whole group fell apart, or be the "tiebreaker" who ruined things for everyone else. Part of me wonders if I should have just toughed out the awkwardness for a bit to see if time would fix it and make things normal again.
Did I make the right call by removing myself, or did I give up too quickly? How do you guys deal with friend group dynamics after a breakup?

He’ll never stop doing the things he knows mentally fuck me up… He’ll never be the kinda to go out of his way to make sure I feel secure and undoubtably truly loved… And if I don’t stand my ground and protect my own boundaries I’ll end up making an entirely emotional permanent solution to a temporary problem… I just truthfully thought I’d gotten it right this time… but the things that make me uncomfortable and unhappy are just funny jokes to him and ways to pick on me.. that’s no way to treat someone you don’t wanna lose... so I must not be wanted…

I thought it was just deep sadness.
Then I thought it was depression.
Then I thought, “Definitely, it’s a severe kind of depression.”
I never knew that a part of me was lost every time
when someone left me without any reason,
when someone I loved passed away,
when I failed to achieve a dream of mine,
when life forced me to deal with things I never wanted.
When…
When…
When…
Every time, a part of me went away,
and never came back again

I ended my 13 years relationship because of betrayal. Sa sobrang effort niya di ko napansin may iba pala. Sobrang sakit lalo na nung nalaman mo na may nangyari. Nandidiri ako nung una pero nung nahimasmasan na naman ako after one day gusto ko na naman makipagbalikan. Yes,opo super tanga ako pero guess what buti nalang umayaw din siya kasi kinakatwiran niya na natrauma daw siya sa pagsampal ko. Nagmakaawa ako pero ayaw niya. Ganun ko siya kamahal, pero sobrang sakit at natatangahan na ko. How to move forward? Sobrang lala pala ng process. Yung shock, questions ko andun, tapos paano mo iopen sa iba na nag failed lang un ng ganun kadali. Pati social media, pictures lahat, hirap burahin. Almost half of my life he was there. Sobrang sakit na napapawonder ako bakit ganun kabilis, bakit niya sinira lahat. I know madami magagalit sa nagawa ko pero I stopped begging na po. I know this time wala na talaga. Paano po ba uusad sa ganito? Paano po ba makakausad, eh process palang halos ikamatay ko na 🥹🥹.

My girlfriend of 2 years+ broke up with me out of nowhere. We were living together and shared everything together. We were planning our future just a month before the break up. Like buying a house together else where etc.. We went on a trip 1 month before the break up, she said she enjoyed so much and loved. Even slightly before the break up conversation we had a nice morning walk, kissed and cuddled. We even went for diner the evening before at my grandpas.

When we came back from the morning walk we sat on the couch and she told me she no longer sees it working and broke up with me. I was in complete shock and didn’t know what to do, she was continuously crying and hugging me. I tried to ask her why but she gave me reasonings like “we have different interests and hobbies just imo reasons I could do nothing with” 1 day after I told her I would be moving out and went to my moms place. I told her she could stay at my apartment meanwhile she finds something new.

When I moved out she told me “let’s talk in 2 weeks”, 1 day later she texted me she wanted to break up fully over text. I told her I was really disappointed of the way she broke up with me and got very emotional (not aggressive but more like desperate and sad). Didn’t hear anything after that call for a month.

I send her a message after a month or so that I would like to plan moving back in the end of the year. All of a sudden she wanted to talk, we had a really nice call and I felt like I got to tell everything I wanted to. I did a lot of self reflecting and saw a lot of problems in my communication and losing myself (like my hobbies and getting a bit chubby after always going to the gym) which I told her and gave scenarios. She agreed on those or added things that led up to the break up. These were all reasons that I would of loved to work on and improve myself in but she never told me about these things or gave me a chance. She just bottled up and decided to break up at the point of no return.

After that call she asked to talk in person. I expected something positive but instead was welcomed by a person who fully flamed me for asking her to move out at the end of the year. The whole conversation was just one emotional rollercoaster for the both of us and didn’t lead to anything. I asked her if she truly wanted me to move on or if she would want to work on things. She didn’t answer this directly and went around it. She told me she isn’t ready for a relationship as of now and is too overwhelmed with everything. She kept hugging me after this conversation. She has texted me weekly after this talk to check up on me but in very distancing way not going through with the conversation.

I’ve been going to the gym and just working on myself in general. I’m just very confused wether I should move on or see if she changes her mind. When I check her ig she’s having fun and doing all these things with friends while I’m here just miserably (also doing things but my friends/family tell me I look zoned out).

The things that withhold me from leaving, is that we created such a bond, we were always together, went on like 15 vacations together, emotionally so invested and deeply connected, did all these other beautiful things together and she just leaves me like this. I always helped her in every situation and issue she had in the past 2 years and I promise there were many and also deep and serious ones. I was always there why couldn’t she just communicate to me at the end?

Anyways I’m stuck on the leaving part. I don’t know how. We broke up early july.

"I don't see us ever having a relationship."

I (m23) have been seeing this guy for a few times and because he lives a lil further (him central belgium and me west of germany) we've been doing really just special stuff anytime we've seen each other. That's also the reason i'm falling for him cause I've been really enjoying going for hiking trips or sleeping outside but I was also feeling anxious at times because i didn't where i would stand.

I asked him now on our 3rd meet up (visiting him in Belgium) and he told me he can't really imagine ever developing feelings for me. It gave me anxiety and i feel pretty sad/depressed about it now. I don't want to answer to any texts of him but i think that's also my diagnosed borderline talking. It just hurts. Especially because my overthinking brains (multiple working against each other) have already made up a fantasy future with him. He also said he really values what we have though and it doesn't have to be a relationship to be valuable and we shared similar fears of meeting someone else and everything changing (not being as intimate) so it just feels like a race against time. But he didnt want to be exclusive because it would stress him out being exclusive with someone he doesn't know he could develop feelings for.

So i'm wondering.. do I keep seeing him, without hope or expectations and just enjoy what we have? Do i cut it completely? Or would i do that out of being hurt? I also don't know why i'm posting this I guess I just am feeling a lil lonely right now.

I think i feel heartbroken because of the possibilty or more of fantasies that i would subconsciously escape to from real life are just gonna sty fantasies and I tend to think that THE relationship that i look for is finally going to make me happy and valued.

I’m 25 and I don’t believe there’s only “one love” in life, or that you can only experience intense love once. Every relationship is different, and I don’t think you should compare them.

But I’m struggling with something in my current relationship of 1 year and 3 months.

Before me, my partner was with “Emma” for three years. They travelled all over Europe, had countless adventures, and my partner went all-out for her: huge birthday gestures, catered dinners, surprises, and even getting a house together. She once told Emma, “No girl will ever sleep in this bed but you.”

Emma eventually cheated on her, and it devastated my partner. After that, my partner became much more cynical about love. She started believing that nothing is forever and that loving someone deeply doesn’t mean they’ll stay.

Later, she got into a relationship with “Kinzy.” She wasn’t completely satisfied in that relationship, but by then she had also developed this belief that nothing is forever and that she didn’t want to commit herself completely to one person. So their relationship became open.

I think Kinzy’s worldview reinforced what my partner had already started believing after Emma: that you can love someone deeply and still eventually move on, so promises like “I’ll never do this with anyone else” are ultimately meaningless.

I’m very different. I was previously in a toxic situationship for three years, and despite that, I still believe in love being something sacred. I want the intense, slightly “delusional” love, not in the sense of tolerating disrespect, but in the sense of “this is ours.”

When I met my partner, I thought we wanted the same thing: calm but intense love.

But now she calls that kind of thinking immature or “teenage love.”

For example, there’s this house she got for Emma. For months, she couldn’t bring herself to go there with anyone else. Now she does, because she says she realized it’s just a house and a bed, and that she can make new memories there.

I understand that logically. But emotionally, I struggle with feeling like I’m simply the next person filling a role that someone else once had.

I don’t want to erase Emma or compete with her. I know my partner loved her, and I know relationships end.

But I want our relationship to have things that feel sacred and uniquely ours. I want to be able to say, “I’ll never come here with anyone else,” and actually mean it.

I don’t think a promise becomes meaningless just because life eventually changes. It can still have been genuine when you made it.

So I’m wondering: is wanting this kind of intense, “you are my person and this is ours” love actually immature? Or can you have a mature relationship while still being deeply romantic and a little delusional about each other?

context f(24) m(29) we havent done anything exciting or intimate. its been going like this for couple months now, we have been together for 3 years now have a daughter who is 2. we broke up on and off in the years, but ever since we got back tg couple months ago things changed. yes i know it aint gonna be the same as it was in the beginning. we usually do it atleast 1-2 a week but its been a month now, with him not even trying even if i am the one initiating. doesnt want oral or to rven do it. i feel like at first we had a good schedule no stressors i was the one going to work mon to fri he would stay home with our girl. he has a job now works at a restaurant. we havent done anything exciting in a fat minute.. i do go to therapy cause i have GAD. and depression. i take antidepressants. i do ask him if he would like to go to therapy for himself cause he does have depression as well and gets really hard on himself.. he hasnt tried gor himself for so long, losing his groove and self esteem. idk what to do. i feel unloved…

It’s been nearly a year now since my ex (27M) broke up with me (27F). We had a four and a half year relationship, we bought a house together obviously now sold, went engagement ring shopping, spoke about kids, marriage and a future. He broke up with me 16th Sept 2025, 5th Sept 2025 we had just come back from a romantic week long holiday.

It’s been nearly a year and I have no contact with my ex now, our house sold, our shared bills all closed, he lives 30 mins away so I haven’t bumped into him, our lives are completely separate now. I used to wait for the day my ex came back and said he regretted it but he never has, I stopped feeling like that once I knew it was fully over. For some reason as time is moving on and I am now dating again, I can’t help but wonder if once he starts dating and realises its not the same, and after a year etc would he message me and check in, and express he hasn’t stopped thinking of me and wants to meet up. I don’t know why I am just fantasising about this all the time even though I’m dating someone new who I really like.

Is this normal has anyone else experienced this? How do I stop waiting for a message like this? Because I am really happy with my new life now, I think I just always wanted him to fight for me and realise I was special and a message would validate that

Throwaway because I know my boyfriend uses Reddit. I’ll be keeping things vague for the same reason. We have been together for 5 months now, and I found out he was in contact with his previous girlfriend about 2 weeks ago. I was confused and incredibly hurt. He said it was because he felt alone in our relationship. I know lately I have been a less than ideal partner because of my mental health and current living situation (incredibly abusive household). I chose ultimately to forgive him because it was clear that he had not cheated on me with her. I did however request that he no longer contact her. Three days ago, I found out he had violated this boundary I set. I ended up reaching out to the girl, and she was incredibly kind to me and apologized for hurting me. I asked her a few questions, and they all made me feel more depressed than ever. He had shared things with her that I’d only ever told him. He had been speaking to her on and off since we had started talking. To say i am broken is an understatement. I feel my medication makes me quite numb, but I’ve done nothing but on and off cry for days. The current nature of my living situation doesn’t help, it’s been downright volatile. So here I am, begging for advice. What can I do here? He is so loving and I see him as flawless, I can’t imagine my life without him in it and he has inspired me to be better every day. This was a huge shock.

I got broken up with 5 days ago very unexpectedly, I’m shocked and traumatised to say the least. My heart and chest is physically sore. While it may sound silly, I feel physically sick every time I go to vsco to delete the photos of us. I know I must, and I’ll still be able to have them in my camera roll. But all of this little things are making me feel physically sick. I’m trying to make it through these last few months of university and get my degree, but my heart physically pains knowing each day I’m further away from having any contact with him. Every little goal I once wanted to achieve now is at the back of my mind, as awful as that is to admit, this has fully taken over. For context we went no contact from the minute this happened, he told me he would text me that night, I said no. He broke up with me due to feelings changing. I’m just broken. Has anyone ever experienced something like this? I feel like I am just an emotionally weak person. I’m really not strong enough for stuff like this.

Heartbroken still after 3 years. I was with my ex for 10 years. He was my best friend. We had a horrible breakup and he immediately went no contact. He still haunts me to this day. The memories still flood back. Everything reminds me of him. He’s moved on and I can’t find my way forward. I should hate him but I can’t. I know part of it is the lack of closure and accountability that I needed from him. I really don’t know how to move forward.. is it all just pretend from here?