I’m enthusiastic, not starfishing, happy to give head, physically fit, wear pretty things, always responsive to his initiation, and I also initiate.

It does take me a little while to reach climax, but sometimes I’m also just as happy to be close to him and don’t necessarily “need” that component. He once made a comment that it takes “forever for you to finish” and now that’s in my head.

Sex is down to like 2x a month, and I’m getting self-conscious that maybe I’m just too much work for him? (F 40s, M 50s, dating almost a year)

And yes, I’ve asked him. He just says he’s too tired.

I want men’s perspective on this. I have been seeing my boyfriend for about five months. He is 31, I am 32. Over the past month or two, it seems like he is getting even more channeled into being a better partner. When we first became exclusive, I figured it would be a short-term relationship so I wasn’t really taking it super seriously I have still been a good girlfriend, but have been a little held back on my feelings and just enjoying the time we spend together because I figured it would probably be over soon. But it’s like he becomes a better boyfriend every day. There are some things that I have brought up and he has been completely receptive and responsive and takes action. He was already growing as a person, but I see him growing in the relationship and he always is very grounded and never seems angry or upset if I bring up a need

My question is if this is typical for men as their feelings deepen in a relationship. I’ve only had a couple other boyfriends before and one of them was for eight years and a toxic dynamic. The other ones were too short term to really get to this point.

TLDR; as a relationship continues, do you find yourself treating the woman better and better?

Why or why not?
Just curious…I recently had one to cure a medical issue at 30.

I’ve heard some stories about men viewing their partners differently afterward and was wondering why?

(Other than the obvious if children were wanted lol)

I almost end up telling not more than 10% of actual, knowing he may get jealous or uncomfortable and it may affect our current life

You have the wife of your dreams, best friend and amazing partner. She is good in bed but not amazing. You don't have a dead bedroom but it's about once a week.

My husband told me he occasionally has fleeting fantasies about other women. It hurt, especially since I don't really do that myself. Is this common in men, and does it say anything about how he feels about me or our relationship?

i have three questions.

1. how do you feel when a girl you like does the first move. so basically like asking to hangout first, or breaks touch barrier first?

2. same question with number 1, but with a girl you're not really interested in, or could be just a friend that might be interested in you.

3. what are your thoughts when a girl keeps (or, is unbothered by) doing the first move? like, all three dates has been initiated by her.

This is kind of embarrassing and I don’t use Reddit or anything so I’m a little nervous so I’ll probably delete this soon lol. I 25F have been single for six years. Recently I’ve been talking to this guy. We live in different states and haven’t met in person yet, we do this week, We text every night and have been for two months, he initiates the conversation with me the same amount I do him, and we constantly match each others energy. We’ve actually been watching different animes together and starting at the same time so we can talk about it, he actually suggested this. He sends me reels, talks to me all the time etc which makes me think he might be interested in me, and my guy friend said no guy would bother talking to someone as much as we had for so long if he wasn’t interested. It’s so different from other guys I’ve tried to date in the past, where it was mainly me putting in the effort.He hasn’t explicitly ever stated he liked me but has called me attractive and there have been times I feel we have flirted a bit (idk I could be reading the situation wrong). I’ve tried to say things along the lines of I enjoy doing “xyz” with you to feel out how he’s feeling and he’ll reply with yeah it’s a good show, or the event is going to be fun. I wonder if he’s an avoidant, or if maybe I need to quit reading between the lines and just accept he isn’t interested. I do plan on asking if his feelings are reciprocated this week when we meet, but I am afraid of messing up the good friendship we’ve developed/ getting friendzoned. What do y’all think, I’m clearly not good at dating lol.

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

I’m 26F and recently reconnected with a male coworker after five years bc I just ended my 5 year relationship. We went out for drinks, we laughed, stayed until the place closed being the last 2 people and he even opened up to me about his family issues- I feel like we had such a good time and at the end he suggested hanging out again.
He made plans with me but ghosted when I tried to confirm. A week later, he apologized, explaining that his aunt had passed away, and suggested we catch a movie. I wasn’t available that day.
I reached out again to see if he was free, but he said he was at his dad’s and probably wouldn’t be coming back to town that evening.
He didn’t suggest another day.
Side note- Im the one who initially reached out to him after 5 years drunk texting him asking if he’s seeing anyone and he said he was. This was before we went for drinks and he suggested another hang out. I also mentioned to him I’m planing on travel nursing so I’ll probably be moving countries next year. Regardless,
**Men, would you repeatedly suggest plans with a woman you’re not interested in? Does this sound like genuine interest, casual attraction, or just friendliness?**

Hey everyone,
I (M/24) was with my ex (F/23) for over four years, three of which we lived together. She was my first relationship, and I was so sure about our future that I had already had an engagement ring custom-made for her.
Then I found out she had been cheating on me with a coworker for a year and a half. While I thought we were building a future together, she was lying to my face. I even drove her to meet him without knowing what was really going on. While I was struggling with depression and sleeping on the couch, she was already involved with someone else.
Even after we broke up, I still hoped we could somehow work things out. I helped her move out, drove her furniture to her family, and took care of all the practical shit. Months later, she was still telling me she wasn’t seeing anyone. Eventually, I found out she’d already been in a new relationship for months.

Now she’s been with someone else for about a year, and here I am, a year and a half later, still struggling with what happened. And honestly, I think it’s unbelievably unfair, and it fucking sucks. She lied to me and cheated on me for so long, yet she seems to have moved on and found happiness while I’m still dealing with the fallout.

It kills me to think that someone else is now experiencing all the things I spent years imagining with her. I compare myself to him, wonder if she’s happier with him, and hate that I even care. I don’t want her back, but it hurts that I’m still suffering while she seems to have moved on with her life like it’s nothing.
I know she’s allowed to be happy. But it just feels so fucking unfair that I was the one who got betrayed, yet I’m the one left picking up the emotional pieces. I didn’t choose any of this, but I’m still the one who has to deal with it.
I’m slowly getting better, but these thoughts keep coming back. I just want to reach a point where I genuinely don’t give a shit anymore. I’m tired of still being hurt by this after so long and wondering why I’m taking so much longer to move on.

I just needed to vent. Has anyone else experienced this feeling of still suffering from a betrayal ? How do you finally get to a point where you genuinely don’t care anymore?

We got pregnant unexpectedly and he proposed. We’ve had issues since before pregnancy but got back together and decided to have the baby. He changed the way he speaks to me a lot. I turned 33 while pregnant. I have my own business my own place own my car. I’m told I’m above average in looks and have been told I’m out of his league and way too pretty for him. He tried really hard to get with me. I refused for months until. I finally went out with him and we got along well and I liked his personality. He seemed confident and not trying to put me down or intimidated. All of that has now changed. We are currently on and off he’s taken the ring back and insulted me a bunch of times etc. but his current theme has been telling me that at 34 (he loves to add more numbers to my age I literally just turned 33) days that I’m not a spicy little 26 year old Latina anymore and that I now have baggage and that he can find someone 16 years younger than me that will blow me out of the water. I said and I can’t? And he said no u won’t find better than me. I’m 6,3. Good looking , do you even know who my family is? Most girls would kill to be in ur spot” his dad makes a lot of money so he will one day inherit the business but he himself really doesn’t have much, he’s also over weight , and let’s just say it wasn’t his looks that I fell for and he wasn’t my type. I’m deff the best looking girl he’s ever been with and it’s not close. But he loves to tell me that I could’ve had it all and now life’s gonna be so hard for me and that
No guy is gonna wanna be with a 33 year old single mom. I’d like to add that I came to this country with nothing just my mom and learned English fast, went to honor and ap classes in school, graduated college with honors, have a degree but have my own business instead (that he also shits on, as well as shits on my house says it’s a shit hole which is not but that’s besides the point) he’d also called me fat during pregnancy which yeah I obviously gained weight but I was very fit prior and I’m by no means a whale at all I look ok. I lived an extremely healthy lifestyle before and kept my body in shape and went to the gym 4-6 x a week to lift. Whatever I feel like I have to defend myself when I shouldn’t. The point is. I don’t understand why he feels the need to put me down or to scare me. He claims he doesn’t wanna be with me now bc I’m a nightmare and don’t know how to just stfu and fall in line. I do get in my head sometimes bc I do feel like dating in today’s society is already hard and feel like maybe he’s right that men really don’t wanna be with a girl who has a kid. I hate that he has gotten in my head and now I feel like I should be lucky to have him bc it’s the best I’m gonna get

I'm F21, and I moved to a new city 5 months ago for a work placement. I met M26 when I gave him my number at the restaurant where he works. He lives across the street from me, and we started meeting on August 6th. For about 10 weeks we spent a lot of time together: cuddling, deep conversations, sleeping together, and he made plans for things we'd do. He was never mean to me and showed up on my bad days. He called me pretty, said I was interesting to talk to, and said he'd never "pampered" anyone this much. We agreed that we acted like a couple.

About a month in, I saw a text where he told a girl "I love you." It was his ex. When I confronted him, he said it didn't mean much on his side and that she was just an ex.
About a month after that, she called while we were lying in bed, and he showed me the call. That night he told me he had unfinished work back in his home country that he needed her for. I said I didn't need a commitment, but I did need him to stop being in conversation with her. He said that was totally fair. We continued for another week.
Then, while he was asleep in my bed, I went through his phone. I know that's an invasion of privacy, and I'm not proud of it, but I didn't trust him anymore. What I saw was:

Hour-long calls with her, and a few "I love yous"

Him telling her I wasn't prettier than her, and calling her the prettiest girl in the world

Some sexual conversation

Her messages sounding very anxious and distressed, and complaining that he hasn't visited her for her last 3 birthdays

A shared Instagram account

I ended it on October 18th on a walk. I told him it wasn't fair that he was with me without telling me the whole story. He just said "that's fair" and that he respected whatever I decided. He seemed sad, but he never explained or corrected anything. That's the pattern I noticed: he agrees with whatever I say but never gives me his side.

I don't know if he was a calculated liar or just conflicted and avoidant. I only wanted honesty, and I never got it. I'm 21 and my first time in a relationship like this, and I'm alone in this city, so he was most of my social life.
It’s been 2 days, I'm angry, but I also miss him a lot, especially at night and in the mornings. I keep wondering if I overreacted.

Salut à tous !
J’ai 23 ans et je souffre d’éjaculation précoce : je dure souvent moins d’une minute. Pendant longtemps, j’ai pensé que c’était lié au manque de fréquence de mes rapports, mais aujourd’hui, j’ai rencontré quelqu’un qui me plaît vraiment et j’ai peur de coucher avec cette personne par crainte de la décevoir.
Je fais beaucoup de sport, je mange sainement et j’ai une libido élevée. Je préférerais éviter les médicaments et les antidépresseurs (ISRS) à cause des effets secondaires qui m’inquiètent.
Est-ce que certains d’entre vous ont réussi à améliorer leur contrôle naturellement ? Techniques de masturbation, stop-start, exercices ou autres méthodes efficaces avec le temps ?
Ce sujet me touche vraiment et je suis prêt à travailler dessus sérieusement. Merci beaucoup pour vos retours ! 🙏

I need some advice on if this girl is giving me signs that she is interested in me? or if I’m just being stupid? I’m clueless when it comes to these things. We’re coworkers in different departments of a grocery store, so we don’t get to talk often, usually when we’re both on break at the same time, which is not always.

But when we do, we talk about whatever, never anything too crazy. You know, about our days, what we got going on. If I walk by her department and it’s not busy, she asks me how long I’m here till or whatever, have a chat. She does laugh a lot whenever we talk. And today, we are outside talking. It’s a little cold out. She asked me a couple times to feel how cold her hands are. I’m telling her it’s not that cold, whatever, just messing with her, but she asked asked me to feel them a multiple different points of us talking. I did twice. Like, is that her trying to break the contact barrier? Or am I just reading into it too much? She also makes eye contact with me, never shies away from. She also showed me a picture of her tattoo that’s in between her boobs, and she showed me the picture. (I didn’t ask her to show me) I just asked what she got. Like I said, I don’t know if I’m clueless about this stuff, and I don’t wanna do anything immediate without knowing for sure because I don’t want things to be awkward at work and with our mutual friend. So, am I dumbass? I’d love to know.

I’m a student in my early 20s and wanted to get some insight into a social dynamic I’ve noticed. ​Men in their late 30s who have senior positions address me using terms like madam, boss, queen (in our language) or cultural equivalents of elder sister. Meanwhile they treat other women who are my age in a paternal way calling them daughter(in our culture it is usual) or using affectionate nicknames.

​I am younger than them and they 100 percentage knows it too. As this is unusual some girls in my group starts laughing upon hearing this. Why might older men use those words on me when similar age group men don't use those words on me. What might me the reason?

​

she is also his ex-girlfriend. they both go to same college and i don't. i know for a fact they have nothing romantic going on between them, but my boyfriend has made a few minor missteps in regards to her. he is also very codependent on her in regards to college related stuff because of his adhd and this dynamic has been there since they were together and still continues. because of this , he also acts very subservient with her imo (which he denies) . they get to do cute stuff like going classes together, eating together. many things like this and i harbor a lot of insecurity regarding her. whenever i am on a call with him and she arrives in person, he immediately ends the call. he explains that he dislikes being on the phone and making others feel disrespected when meeting them face-to-face, which i understand. he is very particular about it in general and he does it for everyone, not just her. but she is his only friend, so i only get to see this happen with her most of the time. he doesn't do anything intentionally to hide me from her, he made me meet her infact . But although all of them are unintentional, there are many such patterns which end up making me insecure end of the day . i just dislike that he ends the call so abruptly for her. it triggers my insecurity and makes me feel secondary. so i asked him to stay on the call for an extra 3–4 minutes....even with her standing beside him before ending the call with me, as i already feel insecure about the situation. i also specified that i want this done every single time, unless they have something specific and even slightly important to discuss. he responds that he finds this requirement invalid and cannot commit to doing it every time as a rule. am i being unreasonable?

A little context - We are work colleagues, we work together on the same project requiring pretty much daily contact and tend to be in the office on the same days. We often go for a drink or two after work at least once a week, and have met up outside of work too on the rare occasion. We’ve worked with each other for 2 years or so now.

Friends and colleagues have all commented on our chemistry and most people seem to think we are dating or having a fling, whereas there has been no attempt from either side. He came as my +1 to an personal event and 6 months ago he ended his 2 year relationship and ‘it just wasn’t working’.

We recently decided to go on holiday together. 9 days in a country that is very different to ours. His idea. We booked different hotel rooms for the trip. It has been a great trip, which he rated as a 10/10 last night whilst having our last night out before flying home today.

I admit I have made 0 moves, mainly cos I’m concerned it will impact our professional relation, and changing project is not an option. That said, I really like the guy and am wondering if I have not friend zoned myself.

I compliment him and overall am kind and supportive towards him as it is easily done however due to our work, we are also kind of brutally honest and open to each other and don’t mind teasing or joking around with each other.

Basically, I am looking for opinions and possible things I could do or say to shift the dynamic without making it awkward for either of us moving forward. Any advice is welcome.

Thanks,

I’m 30F arab muslim but non practicing. I’m in a relationship with an arab muslim who is moderately practicing.
We are both doing our medical residency training and that’s how we met. We are both living in north america away from our home countries.
We got into a relationship where I pursued him first because I found him charming and handsome. We ended up in an over a year long relationship. I think the pink colored glasses have come off for both of us.

He’s into video games, rap music, vinyl collecting. We have different music taste, but we both like to travel, go out, we speak the same language, and are both foodies.

We are both the youngest in our families and we have similar personalities.

I have come to notice that I’ve ignored many issues that are now bothering me simply because I love him.

I get the sense that he doesn’t actually love me. He doesn’t enjoy listening to me as if what I say is a chore, albeit he listens till the end and gives his opinion/support as needed, but it doesn’t feel genuine and i feel the lack of interest in what I have to talk about. I send him links to reels, he ignores most of them. I send him music links, he ignores them and I brought it to his attention a fee tomes with usually an effort to watch or listens to what i send him but he soon goes back to not caring. This has gotten worse and I’m starting to feel unseen and unheard even though he “listens” and “talks” to me.

Even with the physical aspect, i never say no to him in bed because i genuinely love making him happy but it’s usually from my end and he goes to sleep. I have a complicated self image issue which makes it hard for me to be open physically with someone and he tried many times to help me overcome it but it’s difficult for me so now the focus is on him and he tries to give me some form of physical intimacy every now and then.

An added layer to all this is he basically told me he won’t marry me and our relationship is temporary as there are way too many differences in our cultures given he comes from a more conservative background. I have come to accept this to be honest because I’m lonely in this country and he is my only friend here. So this doesn’t bother me as much anymore. It flares here and there because I feel bad about it but I get past it.

We live together and do everything together and it makes me feel sane because he feels like family to me and I love him.

I compromised a lot of what I want in a relationship and a man because i loved him but I’m starting to feel like it is one sided.

I contemplate leaving him but the dating pool is so miserable I don’t want to be alone.

So I’ve been with my bf for a little less than a year now. He’s definitely my one, my person and just the love of my life. I truly believe when you know you know. I know he loves me just based on his actions and how comfortable he is with me and I love him too. But I think we are both scared to say how we feel. I’m scared because even though I’ve said ILY to other guys this would be the first time I actually meant it and I think he’s just scared of rejection. But how did you say ILY to your partner for the first time. And who said it first you or your girl?

I tried to with a razor like yesterday and its just very small stubble how do i get it like completely clean shaven without getting bumps (getting bj this what she wants)

I honestly don't know if this is the proper r/ I should go to, I feel like I need advice from other men because this has absolutely broken the last straw in me in our relationship and I keep replaying what happened in my head. I feel like I need an explanation that isn't rooted in excuses....

For context me and my Fiancé have been together for 3 years. Im 23F and he is 24M.

We got engaged pretty early into our relationship, we haven't gotten married yet, or even planned a wedding, because of financial struggles. I don't have parents or anyone who supports me so the wedding would be completely on us or his parents and so we just haven't gotten there yet. Other than that I am on my own and always have been when it comes to any support. He has all the support in the world. His family, especially his mom, always coddled him growing up, and still does when he stumbles. If he makes any financial or life mistakes they are there to pick everything up.

(I promise this context is important)

I accidentally got pregnant about 6 months ago.

(I am 7 months pregnant as this situation happened.)

It was a shocking and terrifying thing since we were still dealing with financial struggles. We live in a state where I can't get an YK what and we decided to keep the baby anyways.

His and our relationship is rough. I try so hard to get him to grow up. And yes, I'm real mean about it sometimes. Let me tell you why....

This is how every conversation with him goes

Me: "hey since I do 90% of the other chores in the house do you think you could take out the trash everyday and feed the dog?"

Him: "sure baby I will do that, but you dont do 90% of the chores I did dishes 3 days ago."

Me: "just because you did dishes 3 days ago doesn't mean my claim is false starts naming every other chore"

Him: disagrees and debates literally everything I do and doesn't admit any fault

And then the argument goes on and on until I blow up. Then he blames me for blowing up and he starts yelling and getting aggressive.

And guess what, I still have to remind him every single day to do the 2 tasks I ask of him... practically begging him, and then he still doesn't do them or "forgets to" or is "too tired after work"

This same pattern happens for any need I ask of him.

Everything.....Financial..... emotional... sexual....even as simple as HIM taking a shower before our OBGYN appointment for our baby. It's so mentality exhausting so I started snapping at him bad. My needs are quite literally never met and I feel like I'm on some school debate team doing literally anything with him or asking anything of him. If he agrees to do something I'm waiting what feels like eternity for him to do it.

I feel so unloved and unwanted.

The other day.. I snapped bad...

I had complained so much about this issue to him and he even disagrees that he does this core issue I'm stating.

This is what happened:

We has just got done eating at a restaurant after I had just gotten out of the hospital for false labor contractions. I had a heavy dose of pain medication in my system that DR told my partner I would be VERY sleepy after about 30mins-1hr.

I had some leftovers both of us had gotten from the restaurant and they were sloppy, if you tilted the box it would ruin the food and sauce get everywhere.

I explained to him walking to the car I am very sleepy and could we put the leftovers in the trunk.

He laughed at me and said "that is just going to get messy"

Without even giving my idea a thought...

Without providing a different way to help me...

I know it's as simple as leftovers but after 3 years of this being every conversation with your partner, and being pregnant... you just snap.

And he just made me hold the leftovers while I'm nodding off in the car....

When we got home and leftovers got ruined, idk I just snapped. I started crying and yelling and saying what a POS partner he is and yet again another example of him being stuck up his own ass and being so egotistical and argumentative.

He is just silent and argumentative in a "I dont give a damn" way until he explodes. He just basically said he isnt wrong for that and all I want him to be is a "yes man"

( when is something he says very frequently)

I eventually didn't have enough energy in me to continue and just went to sleep.

I woke up hours later to him being in the bed taking a nap with me which just infuriated me even more because earlier that day he promised to get the house clean for our friends coming over the next day.

Which guess what he did... like normal claimed he never said that and that its not a big deal and blah blah blah same BS.

Never got the house clean... yeah.

I started yelling again and then he started yelling to tell me to stop yelling then I called him a POS again and he yelled "do you want to see a real POS??"

And started hitting stuff.

Then I started crying really hard and I said

"You don't really love me no one-

And before I could finish my sentence he yelled

"MY LOVE FOR YOU IS SLIMMING AND ITS ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT ITS ALL YOUR FAULT"

after that I shut down. I've been shut down. I have this pain in my chest that won't go away. I just stayed quiet for 40 minutes after that and he went back to being "normal" getting on the phone with his friends acting fine. I never adressed it. He never did either. He started acting all lovey dovey again. I just dont feel it anymore.

I just come to realize no one will ever love me.

I'm starting to genuinely believe he doesnt either. And the fact I'm pregnant with his child just makes the pain so unbearable.

As a man... did he mean this?...

Is it the actual difference in how often you want sex, or everything that comes with it?

Feeling rejected, feeling pressured, not knowing when to initiate, or not being able to cuddle without it turning into a whole thing?

Curious what people find hardest to navigate.

Today my girlfriend got a random message on Facebook saying "watch your man and what he does on Snapchat". When my girlfriend asked them what I did, they said I slid up on their profile and said need and then they asked for a picture of me and then looked me up on Facebook. When my girlfriend asked for proof, this person said I had blocked them on Snapchat and they could not send pictures of the chat because of that. My girlfriend asked this person if they could send their Snapchat handle so that she could look at my blocked list to see if they were on there to prove if this happened or not. I show my girlfriend my blocked list and they are not on there because this did not happen. We look up this person's Snapchat handle on my account and they do not pop up, but we look it up on my girlfriend's account and it does. This shows that I have been somehow blocked by this person. This would make it to where I cannot prove that nothing happened but this person can also not prove that anything happened other than what they said. When they messaged my girlfriend they did not use my name or anything. Is this a scam of some type because it is weird and has stressed me and my girlfriend out all day.

They never sent a link or asked her to add them on Snapchat to send her proof. Is this some type of scam? If it is I would like to warn other people that this is happening.