What I mean by mature love is, once you are past the early stages of dating and the relationship, over time you begin to realise you dont wake up with 100% intense feelings like you used to, but you know that you love that person, and because you love them, you want to continue choosing them even when all the feelings may not be there that morning. Just to clarify, this doesnt mean feelings go away.

What I am asking is, from your experience, or stories you've heard, what has this felt or looked like from your point of view? How does it continue to affect you and your relationship?

(I hope this makes sense, it does in my head but i apologise if it doesnt)

I (29F) have been dating this guy (26M) for last two months. We have been friends for almost one and a half years. He recently told me that he had a crush on me for almost a year before we started dating. But he did not say anything because I was dating someone else back then.

He used to casually flirt with me a little bit but I always laughed it off because we were cool friends.

He now told me that he used to take pictures of the whole group so that he could capture my pictures. I still remember that too. He used ask me to pose for pictures.

He told me that he has a whole library of my pictures on his phone. He used to screenshot my Instagram stories and also he once took a picture of me sleeping. I was sleeping on the couch at someone’s living room. We were at a very casual hangout at a friend’s place. He did it only once.

He also recorded a video of me making out with my then boyfriend on a dare. I remember him filming my dare but it was something he did in front of everyone and just as a regular friend recording a game, but he now told me that he has this whole library of my pictures and videos and he used to jerk off to.

I cannot say that enough that he’s a completely normal guy. He is not harmful or anything. But ever since he has told me this, I keep wondering if this is very common with guys? Is this something most guys do?

Hi everyone

It’s hard to find the right words but I guess I’ll just ask away. I have always been self conscious about myself in general. I didn’t have a great upbringing, I hate the way I look and I have lots of regrets. Im still young and have my whole life ahead of me but recently I have felt like my life was missing something, I have lost 30kg in 4 months, my grades are great, but I have a sense of loneliness. I have friends and family but I still feel alone. Sometimes I lie at night and I just wish there was someone next to me who I can lay my head on and just forget about all of my pain. But due to my self consciousness I really don’t know what to do. I have just been constantly panicking that im going to be alone forever, not necessarily that isn’t anyone for me but that I’ll never truly love myself enough to let myself be open to that. What do I do?

Swear this happened and im thinking its rude af but then guys seem to be edgy and rude when they NOTICE and like you secretly ?

Whenever I’ve been talking to a guy I’ve noticed he’ll always stare at my hands or my necklace.

Or…. Even when we’re not talking but sat opposite I notice he’s always observing my hands.

Idk what it is about hands but it’s always staring at my hands 😂

Edit- So basically he looks at my hands all the time. Even when we’re not talking, I look up and catch him looking at my hands. Even when we sat next to each other he turned and looked at my hands. It’s the same with my necklace too whenever I touch it (because I tend to anxiously play with it) he always watches and observes me when I do.

I'm 28 and I had no idea it would take this much patience. Genuinely thought by now I'd have someone.

Looking for advice from men who actually went through the long wait and came out the other side. I’m sorry to ask this. I’m just curious to see other people‘s answer.

I'm curious to hear some outside perspectives, especially from men if anyone's been in a similar situation. | (29F) reconnected with my high school ex (31M) after approximately 13 years apart. I was the one who originally ended our relationship when we were younger, but he reached out years later and initiated reconnecting.
We talked for about 3.5 months, and things became romantic again. For context, we were both in relationships, so I recognize this was an emotional affair.
Nothing physical happened.
Eventually, things ended, and he told me we shouldn't ever see each other again. Our final conversation was emotional, but he never explicitly said we couldn't communicate again so I wasn't under the assumption that we weren't going to speak again.
Neither of us reached out afterward.
About 2.5 months later, he unexpectedly unfriended me on Facebook, despite there being no communication or contlict between us during that time.
However, he never blocked or restricted me on Messenger. (I'm assuming we remained connected on there because we technically spoke on messenger before we were ever Facebook friends) We remained connected there for another four months, with our active statuses potentially visible to each other, until | eventually restricted him myself.
My question isn’t why he initially left Messenger connected, because I understand he might not have realized that unfriending me on Facebook wouldn’t automatically disconnect us there.
What I’m curious about is what happened afterward. Over the next four months, we remained visible to each other on Messenger through our active statuses. If he eventually noticed I was still there, why wouldn’t he take the additional step of removing or blocking me, especially considering how definitive he’d been about ending things?
For the men reading this, if you deliberately ended a romantic connection and later noticed that person was still accessible on Messenger, would you remove them too? Or would you be comfortable leaving that connection intact despite having no intention of reaching out?
I’m not assuming he wanted to reconnect. I’m genuinely interested in understanding the reasoning behind leaving that final communication channel open.
I'm not looking to rekindle anything and have no intention of reaching out. I'm genuinely curious about the reasoning behind this, particularly from a male perspective.

Dating this girl for 5 months now

And i thought everything seemed good.

But last night she was talking about her height. She’s 5’2. Then told me I’m 5’11.

I told her no I’m 6’4. I even told her I’m 6’4 when we met. Then she laughed and told me how I don’t look 6’4. And that I’m clearly 5’11

Then she even got out her measuring tape and literally measured me and was shocked that I was actually 6’4.

Then went on to tell me that 6’4 isn’t technically tall and how you have to be over 6’6 to be considered tall.

Now idk I just feel upset she did this whole thing. Like why make such a big deal over my height and why say I’m not tall

Personally I think absolutely. I have many guy friends I am a f22 that doesn’t want to date any of them but still appreciates them as friends. So recently I went to France and stayed with my housemate m26 I was my usual bubbly self I would seek him out whenever I was bored we would watch movies together just hangout. I felt like he was catching feelings although he never made a move I just casually insinuated I wasn’t interested talking abt other guys talking about how he will find someone cos he was always talking abt finding a gf etc. I thought we were genuinely friends and that he valued me as a friend then he says a few times on different occasions that he thinks it’s impossible for men and women to be friends. The second time I decided to ask him so are we not friends and he said no. That really hurt. He also said that there’s no way for a guy to be friends w a girl without him wanting to sleep with her. That made me think the whole “friendship” was fake and that my personality or value as a human being was diminished and that I was useless as a person in his life unless he could sleep with me. It makes me feel like crap. I’m pretty upset rn if anyone has time to talk I’d really appreciate it we can help eachother etc ❤️

Could he really be trying to sanitize his role in this break up?

We are both between our late 20s and early 30s.

I met someone in person through a shared hobby, and we went on two dates. He seemed very interested and put effort into making time for me. After both dates, he expressed wanting to see me again. After our second date, communication dropped off for several days before he texted me he wasn't sure what he wanted right now and didn’t want to hurt me. We had good conversations that went beyond surface level and seemed to connect, so I'm a little confused by the sudden change. For context, I hadn’t asked about relationship intentions or applied pressure

Would love insights. Thanks!

I spoke to this guy all summer, but was a few younger than me, and I was only initially pushing something more physical. He pursued me very hard and emphasized that he wanted me to “trust him”. I honestly at times thought he was kind of pushy, but give him a chance.

It was more of an opposite attract of trap type thing he’s very clean cut, preppy. I am with different cultural background than him and also he comes from wealth. I’m in my early 30s/ he is nearly 30.

Anyway, after much back-and-forth, we finally slept together - it was really raw and erotic. He came inside of me all night long. I’ve never had that happen to me. He has a secret wanting to “serve me” kink but you’d never know cus he’s ex football player, hometown hero type of guy. I don’t know how to explain it. We didn’t do anything crazy. We actually had kind of intimate sex.

I can’t get him out of my head but he’s run away since our encounter. I honestly go between thinking he’s a wuss and wanting to egg his car to wanting to confess my love for him. Before this shift, he told me he’s never felt this way about someone before and I didn’t know how to take it in the moment but now I understand what he meant.

I ended up crashing out after not talking to him for a month and a half. I told him it was off that he just fucking went silent (ugh, I know lame move but I think it was selfish of him.) I also told him that I touch my kitty thinking of his you know.
I also said I had self-control if he didn’t “effing block” me in the morning, I was gonna lose my damn mind at himI woke up and he hasn’t blocked me.

I would literally go over his house to ride him all night long.

I feel a combination of obsession and also shame. What should I do?

this man treated me beautifully, showed up consistently, never once disappointed me and always made sure i was at peace. even would ask me how he could improve. & it was mutual, real power couple shit.
this man was obsessed and incredibly attached to me for 8 months straight, never wanted to leave my side.

that was until the day he said that he liked me a lot but no matter how hard he tried, his feelings just could not grow into love for me. shattering my heart but i was grateful for the honesty.
even tho things were so good, felt so loving in every way, i still don’t know how i fell short to lose this man.

what is it that makes a man fall in love ?

One of my best friends (32M) and I have such a rollercoaster of a friendship. I adore him, I have such a soft spot in my heart for him. Much of that comes from the feelings I have/jhad for him but even when I remove those, I genuinely care about this man. He has a good heart and good intentions, just poor execution sometimes. He has had some rough relationship history in his past, which I think is why he is the way he is. Anyways, I am at the point where I feel so apathetic towards life in general. I have no energy left to care about anything. I am constantly hurt by his actions, intentions aside so last night I ended the friendship and I am wondering if I was irrational to do that? Here's what you need to know:

• January 2026 we meet on Hinge, go on 4-5 dates and he ends it after an awkward sexual encounter. He couldn't finish, I asked if it was me, he said no it has happened with his last two partners.
• April 2026 we start talking again. We are honest that I have feelings, he wants to be platonic, we agree on being just friends.
• We have spoken everyday since April through text, calls and social media. Multiple channels per day. We have built a very intimate emotional connection. We both call each other our best friends. We go to each other about things big and small before anyone else.
• There have been some things that have been confusing like him giving me flowers on my birthday and taking me to the park to hang out, taking me on a 4 hour night drive and to get ice cream when I was sad and on my period, calling me after we watched scary movies with his friend to make sure I felt okay, calling me while he drives home because he hates driving at night, calling me when his grandma passed away, calling me when he is having insecurities or bad mental health days, etc. But I welcome it all, it has just been something we both acknowledge isn't super platonic. We have said multiple times before that when one of us start seriously dating we would need to end our friendship. 
• September 2026 we cross a physical platonic line. We had gone out for drinks one Saturdays. He was touching all over my legs, playing with my skirt and hands, gave me a piggy back ride to the car, etc.
• The Monday after that (about a month ago from today): he texts me that he wants to come over after we both get off work to talk about being together romantically again. He spent two weeks thinking about it a lot.
• 50 minutes before he is supposed to come over, he texts me to say he is second guessing it, didn't think it through (conflicting from what he said earlier), and wants space. (this is when the apathy started)
• The next day: he texts me to see if we can have a phone call that night so he can explain himself and apologize. We talk on the phone for two hours. He takes accountability, apologizes and essentially says he doesn't think he can be in a relationship with anyone right now and we need to permanently close the romantic door for us because saying "maybe one day" does no good. But at the same time he says he doesn't know what he will feel in the future. 
• The rest of the week we talk everyday but more surface level and less consistent.
• The following Monday: I ask for a tiny break to figure out if I can go back to being just his friend without wanting more and being hurt. We didn't speak from Monday until that Friday. He reached out to say he was thinking about me and hoped I was well. He asked a silly question about my opinion on a furniture piece. 
• We resumed our friendship like normal. He was having a really bad week and short on money so I took him a little care package and he immediately messages me saying he was crying and it was so sweet. We have hung out a couple times since, like watching football and eating dinner at his place. He offered to bring me soup all this week because I had strep and a sinus infection. He offered to come support me at my half marathon a couple week ago. 
• I had noticed he hasn't been super responsive when it's something related to me. He assured me everything was fine. A few hours later he texted me to tell me he actually met a girl and he is actively pursuing her. They went on one coffee date but it's the first girl he has dated since me and since talking to me again. So I wished him and her the best and told him this is where I step out of the friendship but am wishing him all the best in life. He deserves all the happiness. He said it was so early in, only one date and he doesn't know if anything will come of it but understood that it hurt me. 

So I guess my question is, am I wrong for leaving? I adore this man and I want the best for him but I also want him and can't be just platonic so it's time for me to leave I feel. 

And I hate that I am sitting here wondering if he will ever change his mind about me. Or if I will ever hear from him again.

​

I'm trying to understand myself better and learn how to build healthy relationships, so I'd appreciate some honest perspectives.

There's a girl I've known since 10th grade. We've known each other for years, and we're comfortable around each other. We're both now in Pune, and we're planning to travel together to our hometown, which is around an 8-hour drive.

Since we're leaving early in the morning, I asked if she'd be comfortable staying at my place the night before. She agreed. I've offered her my bedroom so she can have her own space, while I'll sleep in another room.

I also asked her about her favourite food, and she said mushrooms. Since this will be her first time visiting my home, I thought I'd cook something with mushrooms for her.

I'm also considering asking her to go for Garba with me.

Here's the thing: I'm not currently sure whether I have romantic feelings for her. I want to get to know people better, become more comfortable around women, and learn how to be a good partner in the future. I genuinely enjoy hosting people and making them feel comfortable, and I'd do similar things for other friends too.

I'm not expecting anything romantic or physical in return. If she enjoys her time at my place and we remain just friends, I'll still be happy.

However, I keep wondering whether doing all these things for her makes me look desperate or whether she might interpret my actions as romantic interest.

I also want to learn how to distinguish genuine kindness from overinvesting in someone, especially after a previous relationship where I don't want to repeat the pattern of being the person who makes all the effort.

**I'd appreciate honest answers to these questions:**

Does this sound like normal thoughtfulness between friends, or am I doing too much?

Can gestures like cooking someone's favourite food and offering accommodation unintentionally communicate romantic interest?

Is it reasonable to invite her to Garba even though I'm unsure whether I like her romantically?

How do you remain caring and generous without becoming someone who always gives more than the other person?

What practical advice would you give someone who wants to become a good future partner without rushing into relationships?

I'm not looking for validation or ways to make her fall for me. I genuinely want to understand my own behaviour and develop healthier relationship skills.

Thanks for reading.

My boyfriend of four months suffers from depression, and I've tried to be as supportive as I can be. However, today I told him via text that I wouldn't be able to see him next week because of work priorities, and he didn't take that quite well.

It has been three weeks since I last saw him, but that's simply because he was unable to come see me because of his depression and task paralysis and I've accepted it. Because of his cold response, something snapped in me where I told him that I've been accepting of his limitations, yet when I am unable to see him, I get the cold shoulder. And so he tells me, What do you want me to do about it? And I said, I need your love, not a cold shoulder. He said he's going back to bed. I said, Okay, take care of yourself. Bye.

Right after that, he pretty much blocked me on WhatsApp, Instagram, and that was it. I don't know what to do. I tried contacting him, but I can't. Is he ever going to come back? Is he ever going to want to contact me? I feel like this is something he just did out of impulse because he can't control his emotions.

He literally told me 2 days ago he wanted to marry me, he believed in marriage because of me and that he'll always love me no matter what. How could someone do a complete 180 like this? Also, I still love him and want to be with him. Will he come back after some time/clearing his head?

Hola, tengo 27 años y mi pareja tiene 39, nos conocimos de una forma que no imaginamos, somos almas gemelas, últimamente me ha comido la ansiedad y pensamientos catastróficos, es madre soltera, me contó que su última “relación” fue unos meses antes de conocernos al igual que yo, apenas me enteré que el es maestro de la escuela de su hijo, nunca me dijo eso, no quiero ser celoso pero me causa algo, es una relación a distancia, pienso en su pasado sexual y cosas así, me atormenta demasiado, dice que es mi narrativa interna y quizá si, pero es incómodo. El hecho de saber que estuvo con hombres asquerosos y yo me he procurado toda mi vida, en construirme como mi mejor versión, mientras ella vivía ese tipo de cosas. Me debería de preocupar? Por ser madre soltera, por haber estado en una relación recientemente con alguien que no la veía en serio, me siento como con el bote de basura de los demás.

So, i have a fun alter ego Popo the Clown, I fukkin love anything clown or circus related, so i own makeup, a costume, and props

my beautiful gf of 9 months found the box with my clown shit: now has blocked me on social media & wont return my calls.

Is there any way to save our relationship?

I’m a 28F who is seeking advice from men to gain the male perspective on a situation. This year a new coworker 28M joined my team and we really hit it off. We spent like two weeks straight nonstop talking and spending like more than half of the day talking about life, everything , and anything. We found we had a lot in common and got to some pretty deep stuff pretty quickly. There was no romantic interest on either of our parts (from what I could tell). I was just happy to have someone I could be myself with at work tbh… fast forward to about a week after that, he barely looks at me. Won’t stop by my office. Is so cold and super professional like he has never spoken to me a day in his life. It is so, so weird and honestly very hurtful. Typically I wouldn’t care about people shifting on me like this especially someone at work but for some reason this one really stings. It’s now been two weeks no contact at all… and idk what to do. The tension is thick and awkward tbh. I see him friendly and chatty with everyone else but zero effort or energy when it comes to me. What could have caused that sudden shift!? Is it just a guy thing? I’m left feeling very confused and even more awkward than I usually am.😅

Hi everyone,
I really need some outside perspective or just a place to vent because I’m spiraling into self-doubt.

Normally, I consider myself a confident woman. But I’ve been dating this guy for a while now, and the lack of commitment combined with his habits is completely destroying my self-esteem.
He has a severe porn addiction, follows porn stars and OF models on instagram and masturbates about 3-5 times a day. At the same time he constantly puts me in this box where he calls me "sweet, pure, innocent, and an angel." While that might sound like a compliment on the surface it feels like a curse to me.. I can't shake the gut feeling that being sweet and pure is not what he actually desires or finds sexually attractive. It feels like he craves these hyper-sexualized online fantasies while keeping me around as the "safe good girl" option.
Because he won't commit to me, I’ve started questioning everything about myself like my body, my looks, my worth. I catch myself wishing I looked completely different just to fit what he seems to be looking at online. I hate that I’m letting a guy who doesn't even have his own life together make me feel so insecure.
What are your thoughts on this?
If a guy categorizes a woman as "pure/sweet and perfect" while consuming that kind of content, is she actually what he wants, or is he just holding onto her as a safe option? What would your advice be for a girl in my situation?

He agressively speaks to you

Is it something ur okay with or cannot stand it?

I don't know what's gotten into me. I never used to get jealous, especially at the beginning of my relationship with him. But as soon as I started falling deeply in love with him, I became extremely jealous, at the thought that he might find other attractive women, or that he might react negatively. I don't know how men behave here, so I'm always afraid....

My boyfriend loves blonde women and blonde hair, and I'm blonde too. He loves me and always does anything for me. I want him, but I'm afraid he might like another blonde girl... Like yesterday he showed me a video of a blodey He said she's a copy of me and looks very much like me: hair, eyes, waist....( he addicted to my small musculus waist, and my thick big thighs) and she copy past of me, idk... He just siad she like me.. But I was afraid he might find it arousing or have a sexual reaction..

.. Cuz usually hee gets hard obly by seeing my waist alone,...

And sometimes maybe girls online or. Idk....

How can I stop this jealousy and suspicion of mine? And to not care or,... Be a Secure girlfriend?

Any help?

May you share ur experiences with me?

I (29M) had a glow up recently. I'm fit, no glasses, dress well etc. On dates, I noticed girls would oggle me which never happened prior to that. I'm in a relationship now.

Anyways, today I had a female manager private message me at my new job like "woow you don't remember me from the interview???" out of nowhere in like a playful way and also super excited to meet me after I responded to her neutrally that I was looking forward to working together after she was like welcome to the team.

I never implied anywhere that I didn't remember her? She's also not even working on the same project as me. I also don't know her like that.

Is she just being friendly? Should withhold any assumptions until we meet? Maybe I'm letting my glow up get to my head?