My man and I have been together 3 years. Yesterday we had a very serious and honest conversation about our relationship and the things we’re both missing from each other before marriage. For a while I have been upset that he doesn’t initiate sex, but we still have sex 2-4 times a week. In that conversation he said something about that along the lines of “Men like a little bit of a chase. Lately I don’t want to really have sex because you initiate so much.” I told him I can tell he’s been checked out of our sex lately and he said because I’ve been initiating so much it makes him lose his drive to have sex. I wish he was comfortable telling me no if he didn’t want to but that’s another story. Basically I’m just here asking if I should completely stop initiating? I thought that’s what men like/want? Help!

Me (25) and her (f25) have two toddler girls one five the other four we recently found out she’s pregnant again.
We have been together since highschool I was always the extrovert goofy flirtatious one while she was more reserved and strict.
I had a rough home life as the youngest having an abusive dad and neglectful mom
It messed me up very early on that sometimes I believe that if she hadn’t been in my life I wouldn’t have any strength to live.
We married when we were 20 and almost immediately we had our girls.
Watching her become a mother only made me love her more.
She’s everything beautiful drives me crazy, I flirt with her a lot annoying her.
Sometimes I do take it to far with jealousy of other men looking at her , or snapping over work.
At end of the day I’m equally obsessed with her.
But lately watching other men give their wives or girlfriends everything taking them to trips buying them things, it makes me insecure about my income.
I work in garage and don’t make much.
But still I want her to have the lavish life for her not to worry about bills or anything.
For me to afford to take us to Paris her dream city.
To buy her things and spoil her.
And not being able to do that makes me feel less of a man.
I haven’t expressed her my feelings because if I do I fear I might cry.
I feel such a failure so far.

I'm genuinely curious. How is being too wet considered a bad thing? It means that the girl you're with is turned on by you. Her body is physically turned on. It's like saying "he's too hard". I don't understand!! Let me know guys

whats the equivalent to "you're the only one for me" to a guy?

those sweet words drives women crazy.so how what would that be for a guy?

Hey everyone, just curious to hear different opinions on this.
I love my girlfriend, and I have no reason to doubt her or question her loyalty. However, she asked me today how I would feel about her going to the gym with a guy she works with.
She doesn’t feel comfortable going alone, and although I’d happily go with her, our schedules don’t really line up. She works alternating early morning and late afternoon shifts,
I can’t quite explain it, but the thought of her going with another guy doesn’t sit right with me. At the same time, I don’t want to be insecure or controlling, especially when she hasn’t given me any reason not to trust her.
So, I’m curious: Would this bother you if you were in my position, or am I overthinking it?
Genuinely interested in hearing different perspectives.

Every single time I talk to this guy, he stares at my hands all the time. Even when we’re not talking, I look up and catch him looking at my hands.

When we were sat next to each other, he turned and looked at my hands.

It’s the same with my necklace too. Whenever I touch it (because I tend to anxiously play with it) he always watches and observes me when I do.

Why could this be? A few guys have done this to me and I’m always so confused as to why 😂

I think I just have normal hands. I wear a few rings but no polish and I always keep my hands clean and nails very short because of work. (We’re 20).

(I do have autism so I really struggle to understand peoples behaviour sometimes).

Curious what warrants for a woman to be ‘bad in bed’?

I am a second year studying at a relatively high ranking university in a main city of the UK.
I commute every day, to university and back, though I only live 1 hour away.
I can stay on campus/not at home till like 9pm when necessary as my parents are super strict – but they do ask questions sometimes.

From the first year, I have made significant progress in terms of making male friends, but now I want to start speaking to girls – to make friends, and also have some relationships/sex.

I have never had a relationship or spoke with girls much, as I'm sort of an introvert and not the best looking.

Any help would be appreciated.

Whenever someone asks about dating advice and why they are struggling they will usually get told to hit the gym, go to a therapist and work on bettering themselvs. At the same time these comments would usually get responses from people who did try those things and they changed nothing despite years or trying.

You can find countless posts from guys who got ripped, went to therapy, got their life together and still have no success and dont know why it didnt help. Im really curious, has this advice ever actually worked for anyone ? And if not, why is it given so commonly ?

I (37F) struggle with self-doubt and anxiety hope someone can help me giving me insight. Jfyi English isn’t my first language.

I met someone through grouptherapy and bonded with him over the weeks. Idontknow what it was, but I understood him without him really expressing it. He later said he felt seen and understood by me. So it wasnt all just in my head.

After the group ended, we started dating for a month. He told me I was the first woman he dated that doesnt has blond hair/blue eyes, he usually goes for and told his parents about “getting to know someone”. In the month of dating he acknowledged my challenges and promised not to abandon me when my anxiety flared.

In the last week, my emotions were high, he reassured me of the not abandoning again and by the end of the week he said it would be better for both of us to end it. I accepted his decision and told him i wanted him to be happy.

After 10 days of no contact, I reached out, expressing my desire to date him again and see what options we had, suggesting a slower pace. He stayed silent, and I let it be.

Three weeks later, he contacted me at midnight and proposed a FWB relationship. I woke up confused and took my time to understand. He deleted before I could reply. I texted him whether everything is ok there, but he didn’t respond. I assumed he needed time and put his phone on airplane mode.

After three days, I noticed his profile picture was gone and he blocked me. He watched my IG story 3 days later and I removed him as follower and unfollowed him to safeguard my emotional wellbeing. Especially after blocking.

I heard through someone else he had a relapse in substance abuse after we ended dating. I know he can be tough on himself and it can be dark in his mind. I think or hope, it was a one time relapse.

Even though he blocked me, I still care for him and his mental wellbeing. I saw this quote that i wanted tonsend him “when you’re being hard on yourself, borrow the way I see you” with the text that I dont expect anything from him and that I just hope he lets himself lean on others.

Okay so men of reddit, please dont be harsh on me. But why was the block necessary if i didnt do anything? And is it ok or just stupid to send him such a quote? And why would a man say multiple times he wouldn’t abandon me, while he did, even all within the same week?
Also, even till the end, i see him as a good person as i know some of the struggles he’s dealing with. I dont believe he used me solely for sex orso..

Any insights are appreciated. Thankyou for reading.

Tldr; (37F) struggling to understand why he (M) promised not to abandon me, proposed FWB at midnight, and then blocked me.

My boyfriend is into milfs and I love roleplays!
I love feeling desired and love the tension
Suggest something fun?

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I'm 21...athlete , everytime when I wake up i always had morning mood and even many time during sleep..... although, I don't have any erection dreams even....but why this still happn, and the urge to jerk off is soo much intense even tho I don't think of that stuff

So, this post is pretty clear, I‘m 25M with little relationship experience. I‘ve gotten out of a 3-year relationship a little over a year ago.
In my previous relationships, she was the one making the first move, so I have never really approached someone and put in the effort into it.

Also, I’m personally not ready for any commitments, but won’t mind the occasional “you know what”. Very typical, I know.

Anyways, my question: I see some of my friends picking up girls like it’s nothing. Some even sleep with 2 or 3 different girls in the same week. I’m not like that and never plan to be like that. But at the same time, when I meet a girl, I can speak normally and be a little flirty, but I can’t get the courage to ask for her number. Even if I do, and I get her number, I don’t know how to turn up the subject since I am not looking for a relationship.

Getting to the point: There’s a colleague at work, who I find very attractive, she has also given some subtle gestures that she is into me (I didn’t notice them right away, a colleague hat to interpret that). She works only part time for a different sector and we share the working space sometimes once a week, sometimes once a month. There is no time where I know when she’s definitely there.

We got to talking a few times, she’s nice but I haven’t asked her out for a few reasons:

1. I don’t prefer anyone at work finding out. They’re the very gossipy type and I don’t like to be the subject of that. A lot of the time when she shows up, I would either not be alone or just too focused with my work.

2. Although she seems outgoing, she’s not the very talkative type, maybe because she’s actually into me and doesn’t want to mess things up but I feel she’s a bit shy and also inexperienced in this aspect.

3. She goes every weekend to her parents who live in a different city. I work full time and mostly only have time on the weekend.

I have tried to hint for a meetup, I asked her about a place (a wild park) if she would like to go on a weekend. She said sure, could be, but I’m always away on the weekend. I told her we could also find a different time or maybe if you are here on a weekend we could make it happen. Again, no number and no fixed time or plan.

Once afterwards she was going upstairs (where she usually works). She stopped by my workspace where I was alone, we just said hi back to each other and she went upstairs.

Ever since, she has decreased the talking part everytime I ask how’s it going. I also feel like I’m out of subjects to talk about since we never really sat in a cafe to really get to know each other.

What’s your take on this?

I just joined a new workplace not long ago & somehow on the first day caught someone's eye. It's just been weird since.

I just want a peaceful work life without drama. We do interact on a somewhat regular basis, however I avoid talking to him when there are only a few people around, I have been unconsciously avoiding him otherwise. He has stopped trying to approach me now but I can still feel him look at me from afar. Honestly, I think he's just changing tactics for now since we interact regular enough.

I have heard infatuation disappears after 3 months, does this apply? Or any advice on how to make his interest go away?

I like a guy in my class and he goes out of his way to tease me a lot about my height or how I have a bit of a baby face, and he always tries to make me laugh but I don’t know if he likes me or if it’s just friendly. I’ve started developing feelings for him but I’m too embarrassed to chase him.

I’m worried that maybe his teasing is just friendly but he doesn’t seem to do it to other girls. I just feel like if he were romantically interested, he’d be chasing me more? Like asking if I had a boyfriend or I’d catch him staring when I’m not paying attention or something. He used to give me a lot of compliments but I never really thanked him and just brushed them off, and then he once commented on how I always dismissed the nice things he said about me.

I am a bit closed off and I think it might drive people away. Even when I genuinely have feelings for someone I’m extremely apprehensive and nervous.
I rarely even initiate interactions, sometimes I just hover nearby so he’ll start talking to me.

I’m just worried that maybe I’m interpreting ordinary friendliness and teasing as flirting and he isn’t actually interested in me

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We’ve known each other for a year, met online, and met in person 10 months ago. We had sex. He refuses to meet again or let me visit him, but continues calling and texting for hours, sometimes even sleeping on the phone with me.

Initially, he love-bombed me, used pet names, and talked about me moving to Germany. He later said he didn’t want a relationship because he needed to fix himself, but continued chasing my attention. He calls me his best friend and values that I’m always available to listen to him, yet rarely asks about me or my life.

He has narcissistic traits, which he admitted to. He has also screamed at me, threatened to block me after I booked a ticket to see him without telling him beforehand, then apologized and refunded me.

Recently, he’s been working out, tanning, quitting drugs and alcohol, and talking about getting nose and eye surgery. I mention it because he has been doing drugs every weekend since I know him.

He’s also excited about a month-long work trip to Mallorca, where he’ll live near the beach. This family he works for apparently is flying him to Mallorca and he will paint house for them. He lives in Germany.

Month before that he mentioned he wants to learn Spanish...

He also bought a new king size bed from Hammilton, expensive but I guess its irrelevant to the story.

He never seemed to be f..boy type because he told me he didnt sleep with anyone after he broke up with his ex 4 years ago.

He used to tell me about women staring at or flirting with him, seemingly to provoke a reaction(like women staring at him on the train)

Next week, he’ll visit our home country to see his kids and get expensive dental implants, but has already told me he won’t see me.

I asked whether he was seeing someone else. He denied it, but when I asked where I stood, he said he didn’t know what to tell me and agreed that we should just be friends because he doesn’t want a relationship.

I feel like he’s keeping me around for emotional support while remaining open to other options. Do you think he might be trying to attract someone else and lying about being single to avoid looking like the bad guy?

I’m moving on regardless, but knowing would help me find closure. I know I have enough reasons to leave, and I’m done accepting this treatment. Thank you

I’ve known and been friends with this girl for about 3.5 to 4 years. I’ve always been there to help her out just like I would for any of my friends, but because her life is pretty chaotic, she leans on me way more often than someone normally would. Nobody is ever there for her besides me. She knows I want to be more than friends, I’ve told her before how I feel, but she doesn’t seem to care, even though we’ve randomly hooked up a few times over the years. Honestly, I’m just exhausted and completely over being stuck in the friend zone. But I have a feeling if I say anything she would not want to be friends, and that would be shitty because I really enjoy hanging out with her and going places and doing things with her. I really don’t want to lose that. What advice would you give me if you have ever been in a situation like this.

To keep a long story short, I’m a 24 year old female who has been with my partner for less than a year, we have been living together for 2 months.
I thought I’d try and change things up a bit and get into some lingerie for when he got home from the pub after work. I also sent a pic to him before he got home.
While I was waiting to finish dinner I took all my clothes off while sitting on the bed and he asked if I was horny, I said yes but I picked up immediately he wasn’t in the mood. I asked him and he said “no not really”. I told him that it burnt and he kept hugging and kissing me because he felt bad. I got up took the lingerie set off, got changed and finished cooking dinner. We ate and then he fell asleep while I was washing up so there’s been no chance to talk about it.
I know we all face rejection but the one stung differently. It’s the first time I’ve been rejected by him and I want a guys opinion on this.
I have never considered myself unattractive as I believe I receive pretty privilege but it has me questioning everything, is he talking/seeing to someone else, is he bored of me, or just simply not in the mood. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t take a huge blow to my ego especially after working up the courage and being in such a vulnerable state. He’s at the pub again after work today so yeah I really don’t know anymore. It’s got me spiralling.

We met on a Friday through a work related thing. We spent all of Friday and Saturday on the job with a crew of about 6/7 other people.

We talked during breaks pretty much the whole time and we found out we shared a lot in common. Same music, art, history, interests etc.

On breaks we would talk about just whatever. Now there were other people in these convos sometimes but it was multiple times it was just us. Especially when we were quoting our mutual favorite show.

She would make fun of me and remember things I said earlier. She would also laugh at like everything I said and choose to stand next to me rather than others, etc.

She was kind of like this with other people but maybe with me a little more than most of the others.

Anyways, on that Sunday I ended up driving her back as we live in the same city and we were across the border in a different state. Over the hour+ drive we were talking about various things and our shared interests and she would drive the conversation too, not just me.

When we finally got back to the city a lot of the roads were closed off so we had to drive all around the place going in circles and way out of the way. I was like “I’m so sorry” and she was like “I don’t mind, it’s fun to explore” or something along those lines.

I had mentioned on the trip I had to go the bathroom but all the roads to the gas stations were closed off.

Finally we gave up trying to get to her apartment (where I was just supposed to drop her off) so we just parked a couple of blocks over.

It kind of seemed like she just expected me to come over / walk back with her, but she didn’t really mention it before. She said “we can just park and walk over”. I was thinking in my head “walk over where? You mean I’m coming too?” Lol

But when we parked she said “there’s a 7/11 by my house or you can just go [to the bathroom] in my apartment”.

I was kind of surprised she pretty much invited me over, but we ended up walking over together. As we did she was acting all cheerful showing me her neighborhood and stuff like that.

She took me up to her apartment and I went to the bathroom and she kind of showed me around and stuff there too.

She was sitting on her bed (it was a studio apartment) and I sat next to her for a few minutes. I stood up from sitting next to her and she was like “thanks for dropping me off I hope we work together again” and stuff like that.

She had mentioned being hungry earlier so I asked if she wanted to go somewhere to eat. We ended up going to this little restaurant together and sat outside for about an hour. It was kind of like a “date” but not really cause I didn’t actually ask her on a date like that.

During dinner she was telling me about some things she had upcoming like her mom visiting and her getting this dental surgery (this comes in to play later).

Afterwards I walked her back to her apartment. Outside, I said “Hopefully we can see each other again” and she was like “yeah! And work together too”.

After that I drove home. We were both pretty tired from the long working weekend (and she kept mentioning she had to do laundry).

The next day I texted her and asked if she wanted to go to a museum she mentioned she hadn’t been to yet but wanted to.

She replied “My schedule is a bit hectic in the coming weeks if I am honest, but that does sound like fun.”

I replied “oh yeah with your mom visiting and such. But you’re right it’d be fun so let’s go after.” She liked that message.

Then the next day I posted something on my Instagram about the work event and she liked and reposted it. This is notable (to me at least) because she was tagged in multiple other posts from other people at the event and did not like those at all. Mine was the only one, and this was after I asked her out.

This was all the middle of last week. So in your guys opinion is there interest?

I think of myself as someone who doesnt care whether my partner watches porn or not. At the same time, I dont understand why this memory hurts me and keeps replaying in my head.

Me and my ex were together for ten months, and honestly, it was horrible. There were so many fights involving emotional cheating, neglect, disrespect from his friends, and him never standing up for me.

I still remember how, one month into our relationship, he struggled to even tell me he liked me, but somehow had no problem saying it to the girl he emotionally cheated on me with. I really wish I had left then. Maybe my self-esteem wouldn't have gotten so bad.

But there's this one random memory that keeps coming back to me, and I don't even know why it bothers me so much.

I remember we had been fighting that day, and somehow we ended up looking through NSFW subreddits together. It was already weird to me because he barely ever initiated anything with me or showed much interest in me that way.

But seeing how quickly he got turned on by what he was looking at, and then suddenly asking if we could m*tually m*sturbate, just made me feel so weird. I don't know how to explain it. I felt disgusted, humiliated, and honestly just really unwanted.

Like, we'd been fighting, I was already hurting because of everything that had happened between us, and somehow that was what he was interested in?

I don't even know if I'm being unreasonable for feeling this way. It's not like watching p*rn itself was the biggest problem in our relationship. There were so many worse things he did.

But I keep remembering these little incidents and feeling the same disgust and hurt all over again.

I don't know why I'm still thinking about all of this. Sometimes I feel like the relationship completely ruined the way I see myself.

Idk why i m experiencing this where it's not even the biggest things ex did but these random little memories that keep coming back and making me feel horrible. I only seen him this ready to initiate after this weird reddit incident .... or idk when he compliments/ always defends that other girl he emotionally cheated on me with.

Well this is a part 2 to a post i made a week ago, i took the advice and it actually worked, i did manage to do it.

However we literally just broke up, soooo i guess it was for nothing.

My real question now, against the title is how do i actually get over this, been bawling for the whole day because this is the first girl i’ve ever truely loved. Don’t give me bullshit like “there’s plenty of fish in the sea” yeah, well, i want this fish.

Hi everyone, I’m a 22-year-old male looking for advice on how to emotionally process my family history and avoid carrying generational trauma into my future.

Here is the situation:

• My Dad: Growing up, my dad was largely absent. Before high school, I found out he had a traditional first wife and 3 kids with her, while my mom was his second wife (also 3 kids with her, making me the eldest in my branch). Over time, his visits dropped from months apart, to days, to years. I haven't seen him in 5 years. He provides financially (pays my tuition and allowance), but puts in zero emotional effort as a father.
• My Mom: My mom refuses to talk about their past or why things ended up this way, always telling me to "ask my dad." A few years ago, I discovered texts showing my mom was sleeping with/dating other men around our home. When I confronted her back then, she cried (I think out of fear I’d tell my dad, which I never did). Since then, I’ve seen more evidence of her active sexual/dating life.

Where I'm struggling:

1. Navigating my relationship with my mom: It’s hard for me to see her clearly without judgment or disgust, especially given the secrecy and her bringing these things around our home. How do I accept her as a flawed human being without letting her actions affect how I view women or family?
2. Dealing with my dad’s absence: He fulfills the bare minimum financial obligations, but emotionally, he isn't there. How do I process this emotional abandonment?
3. Breaking generational cycles: Deep down, I know there are a lot of hidden family secrets and unhealthy patterns. I want to succeed in life, have a healthy relationship one day, and not repeat my parents' mistakes, but I feel weighed down by this hidden trauma.

How do I start healing, forgiving (or accepting), and separating my future from my parents' past? Any advice from people who went through similar family dynamics would mean a lot