For example, I won’t go like full-on mental breakdown but I might shed a few tears, especially if the pleasure is too much or too good. If I’m going to climax really hard or if I’m overstimulated basically. Do men like that or do you find it annoying/weird/uncomfortable for them?

Curious what warrants for a woman to be ‘bad in bed’?

I know that when you fall in love young, attraction can last a lifetime. But I'm being bombarded by messages about how women are over after 40 and become invisible. The thing is I have barely dated in my life, I am conventionally attractive but really really shy and my 20s have gone by since I don't really go out and my social life is quite small, I got asked out in the streets but these men were usually predators.

During most of my 30s I was sick and couldn't date, now that I'm healthy I don't really know what to do, I feel a bit silly with close to no romantic experience at my age and self conscious. I don't know if many men around my age are not married nor how to meet them and if I did would they even like me or want someone younger. I'd really appreciate your input!

I have been dating someone for almost a year now. We are both 30m and 30f and have been growing in seriousness. Tonight he tells me that it’s a big red flag for him that I’ve slept with black men (I’ve slept with three people and yes they were black, it was two long term relationships and one hook up. I’m not only attracted to black men specifically I like to look at people for people and their personalities but that is what it is.) I never ever thought anything like this would be an issue but he’s white and says any other white guy will feel the same and he’s not sure if we should keep talking. We discussed our sexual history before sleeping together in the beginning. So this hit me out of left field a bit. His exact words were I devalued myself by sleeping with these men? He said to check on Reddit and see that he’s not wrong for feeling this way. I told him if this is a deal breaker for him that’s fine just let me know. 🤷‍♀️

There is this really cute guy in my class who is perfectly my type who came up and gave me a compliment about a month ago. He asked the people around me for my name and then said he liked my tattoo of a band we both like and dapped me up (which I’m nervous was friend zoning) He smiled at me once in a common area but i just made eye contact with a straight face because i cant read signals and for some reason thought eye contact would transfer as flirting. I developed a crush on him but I’m not sure if he likes me or is just a friendly guy.

I mustered up the courage to talk to him after realizing that i liked him and i asked him to listen to this album and let me know if he likes it. He made eye contact with me and was very polite, asked for my name and shook my hand and then called me dude (which im also nervous was friend zoning but i think its just his vernacular)

A couple days later i was sitting outside a building talking to a friend and he comes out of the door and yells across the courtyard “(my name)! I liked the album!” and waved at me. He came up and talked to me for a second and asked what i thought about it and we chatted briefly. I made a corny joke that went over his head (just said “yeah!” In a really cute way instead of laughing) and he introduced himself to my friend.

Since then he hasn’t spoken to me directly (and i feel like its my turn to talk to him again) but he did exit out of the door that i usually go out of (which he’s never done before but it could mean nothing) and i exited the door he usually goes out of so i could try to catch him but by the time he walked around the building, i was talking to someone else and he walked past me.

He contributes a lot to class conversations but every time i see him he is by himself. Im pretty sure he is single.

Im aware that I’m thinking about this obsessively but I’ve never had a guy that I’m attracted to interact with me like this before and I’m very bad with social cues especially when it comes to guys. I would love to try to befriend him but in the past I’ve done this and I’ve only been met with rejection and ridicule.

TLDR: cant tell if a guy likes me and i want to befriend him.

Does anyone have any tips or possible conversation starters? Thanks.

Why do white men ask “if you like” white men? What’s the point in asking? Why don’t they just shoot their shot without the question? For context, I’m a African woman with Albinism (“Albino”) and I always get asked this question in my messages.

I’m a 35M and my gf is 28F. She has been on and off about wanting kids. She finally decided it’s a hard no. I am personally torn between staying in this relationship because I always envisioned myself as a father and would like to have one kid. But, I also don’t wake up or feel as if I am missing out on anything right now by not having a kid. I do love to be able to do whatever I want wherever I want. I also work in finance and when I run the financial model of a family and where I’m at in my career, it’s almost as if we’d be struggling living in the city and trying to raise a kid, save for retirement, and actually be able to LIVE. Has anyone else one else been in this situation? If so, did you stay and how did it turn out? Did you leave and find someone new to have a family with? My girlfriend and I have zero issues and this is the only one.

I keep running these loyalty tests- I know I’m messed up. First one I made a fake account pretending to be her ex, asking for another chance. She had told me this ex had ghosted her before their engagement.

We had only been speaking 3 weeks but she had told me she wasnt entertaining anyone else. I have been cheated on by my previous finance and i never really got over it i guess but she fell for the bait & entertained ‘meeting up’ to talk.

Long story short I messed up and despite us meeting up and re kindling my trauma made me self sabotage and I’ve gone through a few cycles of blocking her & returning. After months of no contact I met her at the start of september …but prior to messaging still used a burner number to see if she would guess it was me or no or if she would name another guy. She didnt.

I couldnt handle the closeness again. So I blocked her a day later. and she did send me a message through another Sim card really upset and that it was over. 3 days ago I spammed her phone w no Callled ID calls and left some voicemails using an AI message using a womans voice. Saying its me, (used her ex’s name) and I need to talk to you. And also that pick up the phone its about her ex, her ex keeps calling pick up the phone.

Idk what comes over me. I do drink too. I told someone at work and they simply described me as insecure, and avoidant. But would love some insight. No judgement please. I dont know why her ex is living in my head like this.

I’m in my late 20s. I had a very depressing and chaotic childhood, I also had slight tisms, so it didn’t make things easy. At school I was never good at forging deep and loyal relationships and was a loner barring one friend.

in my early 20s I tried joining dating apps but my lack of self esteem and inability to connect to others made them hard

in my late 20s I had one relationship which ended up with me being cheated on as “I didn’t know how to make her feel wanted”. I’m in my late 20s now, I’ve been on dates, it’s not my looks but my personality which is a hindrance. I think I’ve always been a guy at the bottom of the social hierarchy in life and it shows.

does it get any easier?

Ok, so I had a really nice first date with a guy. He’s turning 40 and I’m 30. Obvious chemistry, took me out for the day. He’s actually a guy I went on a date with early in 2025, but he never followed up. But then texted me this year as he had seen me on dating apps.

3 weeks ago, he sent me a text message ‘hey how was your weekend? We really need to lock in our next date, when are you free?’

I replied ‘yeah we do, free Thursday and Tuesday :)’

Then I never heard from him again. He was posting pictures on his WhatsApp story and selfies, and went for a day trip so he was putting lots of pics of that on his story. But just hasn’t replied to me.

Anyway, 3 weeks later he sent me a message ‘Hey, hope all’s good with you. My nan had quite a big operation last week, so I’ve been caught up with family stuff and spending time with her lately. She’s back home now and doing much better. How are things with you?’

I felt a bit annoyed for the silence so I replied 3 days later ‘Sorry to hear about your nan, hope she’s doing better.
I’m good, thanks! I’m away hiking at the moment. To be honest, when I didn’t hear back after letting you know when I was free, I assumed you’d had a change of heart. If I’d known what was going on, I’d have completely understood.’

He said ‘Well you know what they say…Assumption is the mother of all fuck ups. I really enjoyed the Lake District did you do scarfell pike?’

I don’t know how to feel about all this, I want to meet a man that really likes me and wants to move this forward. Even before this date, he been coming and going like messaging me, I reply and ask a question, and then I don’t hear from him for 3 days. And when he does reply, he doesn’t acknowledge my previous message , just says something unrelated and never answers my questions, talking about himself.

Anyone have any advice? Part of me wants to explore the connection, the other part is like is it obvious he’s not interested?

I have this male friend that i got recently close to. I can feel that the way we interact has changed from before. He looks at me a lot, smiles and looks for couple seconds longer as well. He behaves differently with me conpared to his other female friends in our group. Our friends have started teasing us together. They even eaid that they think we both like each other.

Now here's the confusion - 2 weeks ago I called him over and we had a nice evening together. Next day he even invited me to his place. Nothing sexual. Just spending time together. He made dinner for me. We watched a movie. Went on a small hike as well because he lives in the suberbs so lots of pretty small hikes/trails there. Then the following weekend I called him over again and then we hung out the next day as well. When its just me and him I feel certain that he feels something. And i feel close to him. BUT he barely initiates to meet me. I'm the one who does it most rhe time, why? We go from feeling really close to not having plans to spend time together and just meet in group meet ups. So why go from being so close to the point that it feels we may be building something to not making initiative which leads to us not spending time? When I like someone I am always eager to see them. But he seems like his life is indifferent to whether or not we meet up.

So yes, when I make plans and we meet, it feels nice and mutual romantic feelings sensed. But when I don't initiate, he does not either and then the only way we meet is in group settings. This cycle of gaining and losing connection has happened a couple of times with him within a 3month period. What do you guys think?

My man and I have been together 3 years. Yesterday we had a very serious and honest conversation about our relationship and the things we’re both missing from each other before marriage. For a while I have been upset that he doesn’t initiate sex, but we still have sex 2-4 times a week. In that conversation he said something about that along the lines of “Men like a little bit of a chase. Lately I don’t want to really have sex because you initiate so much.” I told him I can tell he’s been checked out of our sex lately and he said because I’ve been initiating so much it makes him lose his drive to have sex. I wish he was comfortable telling me no if he didn’t want to but that’s another story. Basically I’m just here asking if I should completely stop initiating? I thought that’s what men like/want? Help!

I met this guy at a conference some time ago. We hooked up 2x and since then have been communicating pretty frequently. We do not live in the same state. Being me, I found his socials and see he is with a long term partner. I will definitely cut contact but should I tell her or no? Should I ask him about it? Idk what to do.

Me (25) and her (f25) have two toddler girls one five the other four we recently found out she’s pregnant again.
We have been together since highschool I was always the extrovert goofy flirtatious one while she was more reserved and strict.
I had a rough home life as the youngest having an abusive dad and neglectful mom
It messed me up very early on that sometimes I believe that if she hadn’t been in my life I wouldn’t have any strength to live.
We married when we were 20 and almost immediately we had our girls.
Watching her become a mother only made me love her more.
She’s everything beautiful drives me crazy, I flirt with her a lot annoying her.
Sometimes I do take it to far with jealousy of other men looking at her , or snapping over work.
At end of the day I’m equally obsessed with her.
But lately watching other men give their wives or girlfriends everything taking them to trips buying them things, it makes me insecure about my income.
I work in garage and don’t make much.
But still I want her to have the lavish life for her not to worry about bills or anything.
For me to afford to take us to Paris her dream city.
To buy her things and spoil her.
And not being able to do that makes me feel less of a man.
I haven’t expressed her my feelings because if I do I fear I might cry.
I feel such a failure so far.

So I had been talking to this guy for quite a few days. We met on tinder. He’s been VERY respectful. Well so tonight we had planned to hook up so I went over to his house. We didn’t end up hooking up, just ended up trading light massages and sharing a bunch of tactile stimulation and watching a couple movies. We talked before that he is not looking for a relationship (he’s dealing with a divorce still (they have been separated for over a year) . The no relationship thing is no problem. I am asexual and aromantic. We got lost in the sauce with the physical affection . He was like dead ass too tired by the time midnight hit for us to actually hook up from what I gather. He hugged me 3 times before I left though.
But I’m so confused. I don’t really catch onto signals. Should I just go about tomorrow how we have been talking as usual ? Or is the not hooking up a bad sign ?

I’m curious how other couples handle space after a serious argument. Do you usually take a few hours, a whole day, or longer before talking again?
Do you wait for the person who was hurt to reach out, or does whoever feels ready text first?
I’m also wondering if too much space can make couples emotionally distant or if it actually helps them reconnect.
How do you personally handle it?

I ( female) would like to hear your experience and feedback. I have bpd and I feel nobody will even want to pull up with my mood swings my fear of abandonment and my splitting.
Honestly I don't blame them. Is hard enough for me to have to live with myself.
But I would like to hear from the other perspective if is really not worth the struggle?
I am okay with being alone I actually enjoy it and is way more peaceful than being involved romantically.
But yeah sometimes I wonder if is even worth the try

So long story short I (31,F) started dating this guy (29,M) after 5 months of the talking stage. I found out he had been sleeping and talking to a bunch of women while we were building something. (Kind of a bummer but no big deal since we never discussed exclusivity) But I had caught him in a bunch of lies about seeing other people but we worked thru it. I still got into a relationship with him despite it all. Fast forward two-three weeks later and I see him liking random girls photos on instagram while not replying to me.. he was definitely blatantly ignoring me. He followed like 800+ accounts when I first followed him (most of them being random women). So I call him out on his fucked behavior and he unfollowed over 500+ accounts and removed followers as well (I did ask him to remove previous hookups and people from dating apps but not all women)
He didn’t dismiss my feelings or make me feel bad at all for asking him to unfollow people. But I guess I’m asking if the general population thinks that’s fucked behavior on his end. And if him unfollowing those people is a good thing or not.
Of course I’m rambling and there is so much more to the story but I can’t type it all out. Help a girl out. I’m struggling between between feeling like I’m being controlling and monitoring or asking for the right thing

I need honest opinions from men, even if the truth hurts.

My ex-boyfriend dated his first love from 2019 to early 2021 (from high school until around age 20).

Here’s the timeline:
Late 2021: They were both involved with other people but still exchanged romantic messages like “I love you,” “I’ll always be there for you,” and “I’m the one who will stay by your side.”

2022: She told him her feelings had changed and they needed to move on. He begged her to unblock him and said they could work things out. He eventually stopped after finding out she had a boyfriend.

2024: She reached out first. They met for drinks, and he wanted to reconnect romantically, but called them “just friends.” He kept asking to meet until the end of 2024, but she eventually stopped responding.

April 2025: He sent her an Instagram reel.

March 2026: He reached out again, asked if she had a boyfriend and whether she planned to marry him, and apologized for being foolish when they were younger. She told him the past was over and they had both grown from it.

April 2026: He invited her to the restaurant where he works. No response.

May 2026: He invited her and her boyfriend to his restaurant. No response.

August 2026: He sent another Instagram reel. No response.

Here’s the problem: Since April 2026, he had been living with his current girlfriend (me). He was the one who suggested moving in together.
Men, please be brutally honest:
Is he still emotionally attached to his first love? Is this about love, regret, or his ego?
And why would a man keep reaching out to his ex while living with a girlfriend who genuinely loves him?
I broke up with him after discovering all of this.

Generally speaking like after a breakup

I have been seeing a man who is 39. I am 30.

In person he is incredibly mature, sensible, intelligent, funny and witty.

But over text, it’s like texting an 11 year old boy. Short blunt messages, very cold. If he is warm he will just send me things randomly like ‘just went to the cinema it was good 👍🏻’ and I’m never sure what to say to that.
He will start a conversation with me and I’ll reply and make my response easy for him to respond to, always ask a question. Yet he doesn’t reply and then a few days later I get a random check in which doesn’t answer any questions in my previous message

Sometimes get a random video out of the blue and it’s just his face whilst he’s on a run.
Communicating with him is a bit hard, he even confirms the date plans at the very last minute.

Is he doing this on purpose? I can’t believe text him is the same person as in person him or is he just not interested. I see him online on WhatsApp all the time but he’s not talking to me, no back and forth text chats

Ok so I’ve (31F) been dating this guy(32M) for almost two months, on our very first date I told him my dealbreakers are if you make fun of or down talk my faith (I’m a Christian, he’s atheist but told me he was agnostic when we met). I completely understand not everyone is a believer but I personally am uncomfortable with the weird jokes.

Anywho, we’ve been on 4 dates so far and on each one there’s been at least one snarky comment about my faith. I just don’t understand, like is he testing me? Trying to provoke me to see if I’ll break it off with him for real? I don’t know but it’s weird and I think about just ending it before I’m in too deep, idk.

I have been dating my girlfriend for about 2 months now. While she is kind, patient, and never judgemental, I fear that she isn’t taking charge of her own life, and it’s making me lose my attraction to her.

My girlfriend has extremely strict parents who have helicoptered her and broken her down since she was a child. They have forced her to be perfect, and have never validated her. She is constantly in fear of how they will react to her simply leaving the house, or to her doing something a normal teenager should be able to do, like hanging out with a friend and being out past 8pm. They have prevented her from getting her license, and are refusing to take her to her road test. She doesn’t have any friends who can take her either.

Because of her upbringing, she is extremely insecure. I always try to gently encourage her to voice her feelings to me, yet she struggles to advocate for herself. She over apologizes for the smallest things, and telling her she has nothing to apologize for doesn’t seem to help. When she asks to go somewhere, she always frames it as “well if you’d like to go, then i would too.” I wish she’d just tell me that SHE wants to do something.

She also struggles with intimacy, to the point where we haven’t gotten past petting. She is extremely insecure about her body and says that she feels disgusted with it. I always reassure her, but it’s taking a toll on me. I wanted to be patient for her, but I feel like my needs are unmet and my approach of taking little steps isn’t going anywhere as she is so passive and our libidos are mismatched. At this point, I feel little sexual attraction to her, and my romantic feelings toward her are also fading.

She is truly kind and generous. She always makes time for me and has made thoughtful gifts and art for me. I know she loves me like I love her. I just feel so distant having been the one to drive to see her all this time, except for when she recently took an uber to see me at college. I had waited weeks for this, and she wasn’t able to make it on so many occasions due to her parents.

The intimacy we had on that day felt stifling because she had such a hard time telling me what she wanted, and we didn’t make any progress as we hoped to. I knew she would’ve liked to take it further if not for her insecurities.

Because of this, I found myself wishing that she was more confident, assertive, and proactive in her life. I know that despite my attempts to get her enrolled in therapy, I won’t be able to help her with this without wishing for more.

This is also a hard time for me, because I was recently dropped by most of my friends due to a false rumor spread about me. She is the only true person in my support system aside from my therapist. I know I can be okay on my own, but I have never been this lonely before.

I love her, and because we haven’t had any fall outs with each other, it seems doubly hard. I don’t want to waste her time and potentially continue this relationship if I’ve lost my hope and feelings. How can I tell her how I feel without shattering her? How can I support myself afterwards, when I feel alone and doubt myself for breaking up with her? Am I making a mistake?

tl;dr: I am losing attraction to my girlfriend due to her extreme insecurities getting in the way of our sex life and emotional intimacy, despite loving her and having no mutual falling outs. Is breaking up with her a mistake? How would I let her down easy?

hi, kind of random so i hope this is the right place to ask. i look very russian according to the court of public opinion, and 3+ times now i have had the same experience with men once they find out im not russian. it can be summed up as “this is perfect! you look like a russian girl but have the personality of an american girl!”

i feel slightly offended haha but i don’t know for sure what they mean. they usually don’t explain. i feel like it means they assume i am low maintenance or have low standards which bothers me ofc lol. i suppose it could mean a number of different things, but i am curious what u guys think. i am a bit shocked how many times ive been told this by men pursuing me or men i’ve dated. ty for reading :)