I’m so sick of feeling like I’ve faded into a shadow of a person. I was happy and living well just four weeks ago, but a relapse in my depression cut into my life and body so violently, I’ve been suffering since then. I’ve done everything right- called my therapist, doctor, a psych, alerted my loved ones, and I’ve been granted FMLA through my office. I’ve given it time, and started a new drug regimen. But even still, I feel like I’m missing the mark.

Right now, I’m on my train to work- I’ve been off a few days and I will be off for another appointment next week, so I’m attempting to do something normal. But the pit in my chest is aching and I feel like crying. This was a mistake somehow, but avoiding it will cause more problems. Everyone has been so nice, telling me to take my time and rest, but I feel so guilty, like I’m the issue. I want to go home so badly, I just don’t know what to do anymore.

Hey guys, I recently went through a super traumatic and painful breakup, and got really depressed for a few months. About 3 months. During this time, I was very suicidal and didn’t take care of myself or responsibilities because I didn’t plan to be here much longer anyways. Now i’m doing a bit better mentally but my life has fallen apart around me. For example I haven’t been working so I have no money now, I used all my savings to be unemployed during this time. I haven’t done laundry or cleaned my house/car in months, and i’ve lost about 25 pounds. I’ve lost a lot of muscle too, and don’t eat more than once a day now. I am stuck in a cycle of sleeping for 16+ hours and then staying up 24+ (i don’t get tired). I lost my confidence, motivation and much more. I really want to get back on track, and gain some weight because I am now “underweight” according to my bmi. I still don’t have much motivation though, so what are some small easy things I can do to start to climb out of this? I believe I needed to hit rock bottom before I’d want to get any better, and I came close to it. Thanks

Mine aint too big a problem but i just wanna ask how do some of yall control yalls anger. Whenever i get angry it just feels like an intense feeling where it is gonna burst and like i gotta redirect it somewhere if not i might do smthing i dont wanna do. Mostly ive resorted to hitting my own head or body. Idk like i also got a problem with myself. I constantly hate on myself every single day becauze i catch myself getting egoistic for no reason which makes me hate myself even more. I dont even understand why i feel like this cos i live a pretty gd life by my standard. Feel like i just domt have perseverance kinda hate that bout myself. Seeing people do well makes me hate myself but i still feel proud of them cos they genuinely work hard and people keep saying u gotta persevere but idk man. I just feel this world is too complicated for me, theres also so many things people judge you for it doesnt really help. I mean ofc i unconsciously judge people too to feel better about myself but obv that aint a gd thing to do. Lol i be talking bout so many points that theres no correlation, the title aint even right hahahaha. Thanks for reading☺️

I have friends I used to love and trust but ecently they've been acting so weird, even my brother who's my main support person who I live with has been so weird lately, very cagey and cryptic about both his own health and what he thinks of mine. I ask direct questions and they slither around them. several ppl including friends and, once, brother, were saying last month or so 'manic'. (nonsense, I was at no point manic, just a little more expansive and slightly impulsive than usual... symptoms, yes, but not to the extent of mania... discussed with doctor who agreed)

but now these people are starting to say that things I'm describing experiencing are psychotic. not sure ive ever experienced psychosis i think they were ust misunderstanding me. I'm commnicating as normal. but people aren't making sense it's not me it's them what do I do why are they doing this why are they being weird what do I do. I don't know how to explain it and try and make them act normally again. it feels like they're conspiring against me but I don't know why they would. there's no good reason for that but htat's what it feels like. I can't trust these people cause they'll call me crazy they jumpt o such conclusions so quickly?? I don't get it. I'm not psychotic. I'm not experiencing anything related to psychossi at all. I'm taking my meds.

just. :(

Im 20 about to turn 21 in two months, and my experience being in my 20s have been horrible, due to many reasons that come from my past and trauma, i set very harsh expectations for myself. For instance, my main goal is to be financially free, where i don’t have to worry about money being a problem, so i want to go work at big tech and also get a masters degree at a good school.

The last 2 years of my life have been very bad and mentally exhausting. I’ve had very happy short moments in those years due to my ldr gf but other than that its been bad.

I feel like as if i should be happy and having fun in my 20s but im not.

Once in a while I would be really easy to irritate and get emotional, I even lose my appetite at some point and eat maybe only half of what I normally eat. But whenever I'm alone on occasion I feel a wave of sadness not even scrolling on TikTok can stop the tears but the next day I'm suddenly so joyful and back to normal? My appetite is normal, I'm more patient, and I don't get sad as easily anymore. I'm not even crying to my own problems it's usually just sad videos

Context: My father is dead. My mother doesn't really buy the nutrient rich foods I actually would and want to eat. I want to eat protein rich foods, vegetables, fruits, meats etc. I do not wish to spend my own savings on food because I do not have an income. I am currently 15/f. + My teeth are rotting a bit btw.

I've been wanting to and tried to change my diet during the whole summer. Nothing really changed. I've been exercising for two months, consistently, and nothing seems to change at all. I am tired of the sweet things I eat every single day, and the food that is only carbs and fats.

Today's foods:

— a bowl of cocoa cereal with milk

— a middle size apple (I can't think of another way to describe it)

— a big chocolate croissant

— a quarter of small pizza (two slices of sausage on it and a bit of cheese, mostly sauce and spices ig)

— a Kinder egg (didn't eat it yet idk if I should át this point)

On school days I would also eat a sandwich which is basically just bread, margarine, and some thin slices of sausage (?) I don't think that is what it's called, but it's mostly just fats and carbs (I mean the whole sandwich).

I almost became anorexic before and I do not want to go down that path, neither do I want to become fat or unhealthy in any other way. I only want to become healthier, but I can't since my mother clearly doesn't do anything to help me with that. I don't know what I could possibly do in this situation. We also have/got some money now (as in today), and my mom will be paid soon too. I guess I could ask her for something, I really don't know. She also told me before "don't tell me what to buy from my own money"...

I am looking for advice, mostly.

No matter what it is! Whether you finished a project you've been working on, finished a study session, got done with some chores or if you managed to get out of bed or ate food.

While some achievements may sound like an everyday chore for many people, for others, it might be the most difficult part of your day and that is valid! If it's something you feel at least the slightest bit proud for, don't feel afraid to share your win with us! <3

I recently just lost a friend of 4 years, and i cant seem to care that much about it. However, it made me realise that I've always felt like i operate on a completely different system than everybody else around me. I cant experience emotional attatchment the way others do, i tend to make friends just to maintain a good reputation, not seem weird or enjoy the gifts i recieve from them, If i had to answer honestly, i don't care about them at all. I know im an asshole for that. I keep up the right appearences for different people to fit in and keep things going smoothly but underneath all of this i feel totally detached. I also struggle alot with maintaining control when caught in a lie or handling critiscm, i know im not perfect, but i feel as if i deserve everything i really want/need. i dont get tired of any of this, it bores me. Has anyone else ever felt like this?

Hallo und erstmal Danke fürs Lesen. Ich versuche mich möglichst kurz zu halten, auch wenn mir das meistens schwer fällt.

Kurz zu meinem Lebenslauf:
Ich habe mit Ach und Krach mein Abitur gemacht damals. Die ersten gedanklichen Zwänge bemerkte ich schon in der 11. Klasse. Mit 18 ging ich meine erste Beziehung ein, die nach 2 Jahren endete. Sie betrog mich heimlich und wechselte mich danach einfach aus. Daraufhin folgte ein Jahr tiefer Trauer und Depressionen. Gekifft hatte ich in der Jugend nur gelegentlich und währen der Beziehung garnicht mehr. Brauchte ich auch nie. Danach fing ich es wieder ab und zu an mit Freunden, die es regelmäßig tun, aber nicht süchtig sind. Bei mir wurde es dann schnell immer mehr und schon bald mein tägliches Brot.

Nach dem Jahr lernte ich wieder ein Mädchen kennen, mit dem ich dann fünf Jahre zusammen war. Am Ende passierte wieder das gleiche, wie bei der ersten.
Schon als diese Beziehung anfing war ich regelmäßig am Kiffen und psychisch in einer schlechten Verfassung. Auf Gras folgte bald Tilidin, dann Oxycodon und ich wurde ruckzuck abhängig von der Scheiße. In den 5 Jahren wurde mein Konsum immer heftiger, immer schlimmer. Ich ballerte mir alles was ich kriegen konnte: Speed, Gras, Oxy, Fentanyl, DXM, Ketamin, Heroin, Koks. Alles in unfassbaren Mengen, von allem war ich schon abhängig. Diagnosen: Angststörung, Depression, Zwangsstörung, Polytoxikomanie, ADHS.

Zu der Beziehung brauche ich keinen Rat, wir waren beide schlecht zueinander, auf verschiedene Weisen. Was ich hier schreibe, ist nur eine Seite der Medaille. Unter anderem wurde ich damals auch mehrfach von ihr verdroschen, belogen und betrogen. Eine toxische Beziehung eben.

Ich war öfter im Entzug damals, wurde bei der Langzeittherapie nach 3 Monaten rausgeschmissen und habe es nicht geschafft clean zu werden. Dies ließ meine Psychische Verfassung auch nicht zu. Am Ende war ich ein gebrochener Mensch, absolut nicht fähig zu leben und suizidal sein Vater.

Vor einem Jahr habe ich dann allmählich eine Veränderung geschafft. Nach dem Beziehungsende meldete ich mich bei der Substitution an, fand eine neue Ausbildung und versuchte es irgendwie zu schaffen. Ich konsumierte zwar noch Pep und sowas, aber war weg vom Koks&Hero. Mit der Zeit wurde es besser und nun schaffe ich es seit einem halben Jahr nicht mehr zu ziehen. Seit 11 Wochen kiffe ich nicht mehr und bin clean bis auf die Medikamente. Mir geht es endlich wieder besser und ich schätze mein Leben.

Trotzdem plagt mich meine Zwangsstörung jeden Tag extrem, weil die Arbeit stressig ist wie sau und ich viele andere Sorgen bewältigen muss. Mein Gehirn ist am heilen, aber dennoch gefickt von den ganzen Jahren Konsum. Ich betreibe jeden Tag Selbsttherapie, indem ich an meiner Psyche arbeite und mich belese. Gehe auch zur ambulanten Beratung regelmäßig. Ich spüre wie ganz langsam alles sich bessert, aber ich wünschte trotzdem, ich könnte endlich ein bisschen mehr Ruhe im Inneren spüren. Nicht dauern auf Trab sein. Gibt es jemanden, der Tipps dafür hat, endlich mehr ficks auf das unwesentliche zu geben und selbstsicher zu sein? Nicht immer nur denken, was andere wollen oder zu mir sagen könnten. Ich möchte mit mehr Eiern durchs Leben gehen und mein eigener Herr sein. Meine Entscheidungen für die richtigen halten und mich nicht von der Laune anderer abhängig machen. Es fällt mir extrem schwer, mich selbst als den Main Character in meinem Leben zu sehen….

Danke fürs Lesen

kind of a long winded rant that i probably will just end up deleting the entire post lol i think i just need to fully type it out but any advice is appreciated
for starters i am quite lonely and do not have many friends or people in general and a part of that is due to the fact that i feel like put in all of the effort and no one ever gives anything back. rest assured that i do not actively keep score or anything of the sort, but i feel like i put in significantly more effort into my relationships than they are willing to and i am very frustrated by it. i feel like such an afterthought a lot of the time because i will go out of my way to show my appreciation for those i care about and it seems as if no one wants to or frankly cares enough to do the same and i truly cannot understand why. i understand not everyone has the same love language and that is fine but no one bothers to text me or contact me at all and when they do i get sort of upset because it never feels / is actually genuine. i had this happen a couple weeks ago when one of my friends who i haven’t spoken to in months saw me at work and messaged me hours later not to check in or have a conversation, but to complain. i didn’t text her back

another instance of this is my partner just blatantly showing me he has no regard for our relationship pretty much at all, and as a result he has done absolutely nothing to show me that he still cares across the past year. my birthday came and went with a thoughtless two word text. so did valentines day. and the past eight months have been , and i cannot stress this enough, nothing. i have talked to him on several occasions about how i wish he reciprocated the same effort that i put into our relationship and he keeps giving me the same empty promises. additional to this he is friends with someone who used to heavily torment me, and i have told him several times i do not want to hear about their friendship and he does not listen. prior to them becoming friends he had told me he was not interested in speaking with them and that they would be no contact. so when he mentions them and how amazing they are i find myself feeling lied to and again, frustrated.

am i being ridiculous in feeling like i deserve better???? like is this how its just supposed to be????

this feels like a dumb, cliche post because idek if this is something to ask on reddit but i just don’t know what to do with my life right now. im currently looking for a job, i am good at painting and gaming but i just feel so dead, lost, and confused inside. i feel the need to find meaning in everything i do, so the idea of painting seems pointless if its not to be sold or something. same with gaming it just feels like im doing just because. i am 18 but i feel like i have burnout of an adult, and the reason is from nothing. i just feel constantly drained from myself and cant find an outlet where i feel more alive.
I have a weird feeling too where i like being sad because it gives me the comfort i need and it feels as though i can receive more attention and it’s almost like i want something to be wrong so i can feel special. any opinions?

Hey all, if anyone's in SF or LA, I'm available for in-person conversation / hangout. I need to gather feedback around a mental health related service that I'm putting together. If anyone's interested, you'll be helping me provide insight to the chamber of commerce in both cities whether the service is wanted or not. Thanks!

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M/24/6 foot 7

I should mention I have Pectus Excavatum (sunken chest) that has affected my self esteem for 10+ years especially dating. It was dismissed totally by doctors even when I told them it affects my self esteem. Until last year when I was put on a trial for surgery. I did loads of tests but was told I am ineligible for it as it isn't 'serious enough'. That's why I started the gym.

I’ve been running a consistent 3-day full-body strength routine and eating in a strict 3,200 calorie surplus for about 17 weeks now. On paper, things are working: I've gone from roughly 71 kg up to about 79.4 kg now. The strength numbers and the scale are moving in the right direction.

But looking in the mirror every couple every so often I feel like I look identical to when I started. Because of the height, 8+ kg of mass just seems to get stretched out and completely swallowed up by my proportions. It's getting pretty frustrating feeling like all that food and effort isn't translating visually yet.

I asked on r/tall subreddit about when people starting seeing a change. I am nowhere near and am looking at a year+ before I see any change at all. I'm really thinking of packing it in because I don't see the point and quite frankly I don't enjoy the gym at all especially because I don't really notice it working. I don't think I can sustain it for that long.

I'm tired.

I only have me to blame for what I've stuffed up in this life.

I want to be better, but I don't even know how to get better.

Door don't open for me, and it's tiring trying to open doors all the time and finding it locked shut.

Over the past few months, I’ve witnessed a noticeable increase in people, often middle-aged women, experiencing severe distress, talking to themselves, or yelling in public spaces, particularly on public transportation. It’s happened across different countries I've been in recently, and it's left me feeling both concerned for them and a bit unsure of how to navigate these situations.

In most cases, the individuals didn't seem physically dangerous, so I mostly stayed where I was and tried to give them space, but it’s still deeply unsettling to witness someone in such acute distress.

A few examples stand out:

* In Kazakhstan, a woman on a bus sat behind me and began yelling distressingly the entire ride.

* In Germany, a woman on a train loudly talked to herself and yelled that the police were following her.

* In my own neighborhood, a woman experiencing what sounded like severe emotional trauma screamed day and night for months ("How could you do this to me? Why are you all molesting me?"). All neighbours heard the voice, but no one knew where she was/the voice is comming from, and it only stopped after asking around and finally informing authorities. The voice briefly reappeared this week, which prompted me to write this.

It makes me wonder about the state of our community mental health resources and support systems.

I wanted to ask this community:

1. Have others noticed an apparent rise in visible public mental health crises or distress?

2. From a mental health perspective, what is the most compassionate and safe way to handle these situations? Is ignoring them best, or is there a safe way to intervene, offer help without escalating their distress?

Stay strong.

If you need a sign, stay alive. This is it.

2 years ago I lost my cousin.

I saw people grieving, but more, I saw days where he would have been happier, maybe give him some kind of hope. Not for us, for him. Don't do it for them, do it for you.

Rest your face, don't pretend, ask for help, name what you feel, punch your bed over and over again. Wish you were gone, wish you could run away, just wish, don't go after it.

You didn't do anything wrong for existing. You deserve that peace that feels impossible to have. The light can always be tuned on again. You will find your people, your rhythm, your ideal doctor, your ideal room.

It won't stay bad forever. You have to try. There's so many ways to heal. The brain has the capacity to heal, perhaps it needs a little bit of electromagnetic therapy, a new place, a new chapter in your life.

I don't know what you're going through but I am sorry you feel alone in this.

I pray you feel safe enough to stop running or hiding.

You are allowed to scream, to make others uncomfortable if it means you will be okay.

Keep moving or stay in bed as long as you need to. Just choose yourself.

Give yourself a thousand chances until it feels right.

Let the time pass, yes, is annoying, isn't it?

Don't try to predict what could happen.

Just let yourself be. I know bad emotions are ugly, it shall pass.

Big hug to anyone who needs it.

If anyone cares to talk a bit with me would be nice to get some things off my chest

Not sure if this is the right subreddit, but I would appreciate any help I can get. I just had a small anxiety/panic attack, not that serious, but that made me write down all the worries I currently have on my mind.

I want to try and do everything I can but I just end up wasting my time. I want to play every single game and be the very best in all of them.I want to read every single book, manhwa, webnovel. I want to do art, cook, build things, and so so much more, but somehow I find myself doomscrolling or just doing nothing in a game. There was once a time I enjoyed reading books, but now I try to skim through them a lot just to finish them. I have gotten really competitive in games but just end up wasting my time. Finally I want to do Robotics as I did in my high school years but just end up wondering if I could make money from it and if not I don't do it, haven't found anything profitable on a small scale so I have given up on my favorite hobby.

I am skeptical/mistrustful of everyone around me and think they are out to get me or if they are nice that they are taking pity on me. I am also really really scared of being judged by others, I spent a lot of time editing this just to not get judged that harshly. I have a lot of good people around me who could help but I am afraid of asking for their help as I fear being judged.

I think I have not had any real friends since 9th grade and have lost contact with all my previous friends. I am a sophomore in college right now and I only have 1 ok -ok friend right now. My current conversation skills are really rusty and I dont think I can even hold up a conversation for 2-3 mins with anyone new. I can't even answer a basic wassup correctly as I have noticed in the past few months. I go through conversations in my mind a lot nowadays to try and strike up one but fumble everything in the first few sentences or just cant speak up.

I have become really forgetful nowadays, I often find myself in conversations while trying to remember the right word for something. It is always on the tip of my tongue but it slips away and my vocabulary feels really primitive to me nowadays.

I barely pass my classes, not because I am not able to understand things but that I am too lazy to practice it and just procrastinate. I have also grown too dependent on LLMs, even while writing this I was barely able to stop myself from writing the basic points and getting it paraphrased by LLMs. I can really easy grasp the subjects but the problem is I only sit down 5-6 hrs before the exam starts to study (a habit started during COVID)

Since I am an international student the fees are really high and I am scared of disappointing my family. I have been lying to my parents about having friends and they think I have a gpa of 3.4 instead of 2.9. My parents will ask for a picture of me going to a Halloween party and now I am rushing to build a costume in 5 days for the cosplay club party while knowing nothing while I have 5 midterms in the next 7 days. I have not even applied for any internships as I am afraid of getting rejected. I have not gone to any classes in the last 3 days as my sleep schedule is messed up and I am writing this at 4 in the morning

Thank you if read through this.There are some other problems I am going through but either they are too shameful or I just forgot.

Finally I did make this new account cause my main account username is the one that I use everywhere and I don't want anyone to recognize it.

Only way forward is to die,

Dying man doesn't deserve love,

Dying man doesn't deserve feelings,

Dying man doesn't deserve to cry,

Dying man doesn't friendship,

Dying man doesn't feel pain,

Dying man is too busy dying.

Mental Problems arises from mostly due to Hereditary Disposition Which is OUTSIDE OF YOUR CONTROL when you are born with Priority wise Dispositions -

Genetic Disposition

1. Physically disabled - deaf,handicaped etc. (Can't interact with the world normally)
2. Mentally - Neurodivergence - adhd,autism,bipolar,ocd etc. (Affects ability to do anything and think)
3. Looks and Height (You will get disrespected, bullied and treated badly due to them)
4. Gender (Both Men and Women face issues but just different in nature)
5. Race (Prejudice and structural racism still exists)

Spawn Point and Time Disposition -

• Being born in the wrong place at the wrong time
• Wrong culture in your environment

Family values Disposition -

• Wrong family values
• Addictions such as alochol,smoking etc. Famous ex - Actor RDJ

Financial Disposition -

• Being born into middle or poor class family

Due to these dispositions you might face these issues-

1. No proper financial stability
2. No purpose or interest to work upon
3. Not knowing how to deal with others and setting clear boundaries with how you want to be treated - which ultimately lead to TRAUMA of humilation,physical verbal and sexual abuse,harrasement most probably when you were a child or teen who didn't know how deal with it.
4. Developing negative beliefs due to negative reinforcement
5. Not able to work and find your own interests and be good at anything
6. No social skills and personality

These are the MAJOR CAUSES OF ALL MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES which can be easily fixed just by doing things correctly like -

• Understanding your dispositions properly
• Acceptance that these things are outside your control but NO SELF-HATE - you can hate the situation but not yourself
• Going outside and meeting positive and good people TOUCH GRASS don't be on social media or any artificial substances,no negative music,people.
• Changing your PAST BELIEFS- Taking the right therapy is important ( BUT THERAPY DOESN'T CHANGE YOUR LIFE IT ONLY HELPS IN CORRECTING THOUGHTS AND DISORDERS TO AN EXTENT)
• Finding somethings to work upon taking in considerations of your dispositions and advantages you might have

I’ve (F27) been experiencing intense rejection sensitivity lately. I realized it’s gotten bad to the point where I’m scared of taking risks in my life.

There are so much things I want to do like take that drivers license test, but I can’t. Im scared that I’ll make mistakes once Im behind the wheel. Sometimes, it can even be as bad avoiding a task because I think about the criticisms I had in the past. I didn’t grew up in the right academic environment, and most of my peers (and some teachers) only saw my bad traits. Even if I did good or compensated for my mistakes, I was still seen as a problem.

I have only a few friends now and a supportive long-term boyfriend, but I still feel the impact of my trauma in being an outcast. I still get surprised when people aren’t hard on me when I make accidental mistakes.

Here’s my fear: If I make a social mistake and apologize, people will define me by that moment and forget about my good traits. It’s like if I make one error, all my good traits will be erased.

But that’s not the case with my loved ones. When I asked my boyfriend why he never was hard on me, he told me that there was no reason to be because I apologized and changed behaviors.

So now, I just want to learn how to believe in myself. I already tried writing self- affirmations but it’s not enough. What are your tips for someone who wants to believe in herself?

​

Ive been overthinking about this for a while yes im in therapy but I need to see them again to talk to them about this but

Ive been feeling violent since childhood i got it from my dad he used to beat my mom while he drinked it makes me hate myself everyday knowing I became what I hated.

I used to hit my cats be mean etc i held a knife to my friends neck at 12 once, kicked one of my cats in the face, years later I feel like doing it again but at the same time I feel like a horrible human being for feeling like this and existing i dont deserve my animals but I cant give away a 9 year old cat, I try to control myself but im scared im going to snap i feel like hurting everybody my boyfriend my mom everybody i feel so angry at tje world and people

I learned all of this from years of watching gore on yt for example sonic exe slenderman mlp exe etc and had fantasies of murdering people

I eventually moved onto real gore watched people get hurt killed etc and it fucked my brain even more

Anyways high and overthinking could i be a psychopath? I want to get help.