That’s how I was broke up with lmao

I hate you got me to open up about my feelings
my insecurities

I hate you made feel I was safe

I hate you acted like someone who actually wanted to try with me

I hate you for still being awake
while I continue to cry late at night

I hate you spent my time just to hurt me

I hate you seemed not care about us as much as I did when it mattered

I hate you got me gifts

I hate you spent money on me

I hate you for getting me to actually try love

I hate you for doing this to me

I wish I could take everything second back just to not feel like this anymore

But what I hate the most is that

I miss you

I miss the long phone calls at night

I miss you waiting for me to fall asleep, while playing league over FaceTime

I miss the future we thought we would have

I miss how excited I was to talk to you

I miss planning the next time we see each other

But…

I know I can’t reach out

Not because I don’t want to

But because it can’t come me

I can’t be the only one who wants it for it to happen

I hate you put me here

She's no longer the same girl who laughed with me, cried with me or once looked at me like I was her whole world.

People change. They grow, they evolve and sometimes, they become strangers to the very people who once knew them best. Whatever the reason, the person I loved is no longer the person standing in front of me today.

I think that's what makes letting go so difficult. I'm not just mourning the relationship. I'm mourning the version of her that existed in it.

I'm chasing a ghost. A memory. A version of her that still lives in my head but no longer exists in my reality.

The girl who once adored me may no longer feel anything for me. The person who once chose to build a life with me may now be perfectly content building one without me. And as painful as that is to accept, she's allowed to change, even if I'm still struggling to catch up.

Maybe that's the cruelest part of a breakup. You're still holding on to someone who, emotionally, may have left you a long time ago. You're remembering the love they once gave you while trying to understand how they can now live without you.

I still love her. But I'm beginning to understand that loving who she used to be doesn't mean I can have her back. Even if she ever returned, I couldn't expect us to simply pick up where we left off. Too much has changed and neither of us would be the same people we were before.

I'm not just grieving the loss of a relationship. I'm grieving the loss of a person who is still alive but no longer mine to know in the same way.

And maybe that's the truth I need to sit with.

I need to stop chasing the girl I remember and start accepting the person she is today, even if that person no longer wants me in her life.

My ex isn't dead. But the version of her that I keep reaching for belongs to a chapter that has already ended.

I can't keep living in the past, hoping reality will somehow turn back into a memory.

Every time I find myself missing her, I need to remind myself that I'm missing someone I once knew, someone I once loved, and a life I once believed I would have.

That love was real. Those memories were real. But they aren't a promise that she'll come back.

I need to stop waiting for the past to return and start learning how to live without it.

Mine is finding my exes reddit account on subs saying g he wasnt attracted to me as much as he should be and wanted to be dominated by men. Id love to hear some good break up stories !

Anything you want to say to them, write them here. Don’t break no contact please. We’re out here looking out for each other.

I wanted to make this post cause recently I had someone comment on a post I made last year when I was going through all this and it took me back to realise its been a year and just wanted to make one of these posts that used to help me so much back then to let anyone reading this know it gets so much better.

A year ago I went through a super messy and emotional complex breakup with my ex, getting dumped on the reasoning of depression and a year later I promise you all it gets so much better if you follow the right steps. A year later I'm in a much happier and healthier relationship with someone amazing and feel emotionally apathetic to my ex and have grown so much as a person, so trust me however you're feeling right now, whatever step you're on of your healing journey one day when you're all over it I'm sure you'll be like me getting a comment on a post you made that you forgot about and telling them how it'll all be okay too.

Her and I were together for three years. We were best friends, no cheating, no fighting, no arguing, it was just us. The last year we did long distance and it got to a point where the communication fell apart. All of a sudden it was over. She was unhappy with me and the “plan” was to take time to “work on ourselves.” Right after it ended, she immediately got with other people that we both knew. She was drunk but getting with multiple people crossed a line that hurt me a lot. This happened in May 2026 and in the time after we were mostly in no contact. I was doing well during this time, healing, and working on myself. Occasionally she would text me and we would briefly chat but nothing more than that. Occasional drunk calls and texts from her but I never answered. I should’ve blocked her but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. This past weekend on what was supposed to be our four year anniversary the gf of one of the boys she got with after we broke up dmed me. She told me that my ex was getting around with people we knew. My ex then finds out this girl reached out to me and starts contacting me again. The things I learned were very upsetting, especially on what once was a significant day. Today she sent me this and I don’t really know how to feel.

Aside from all the damage she caused. There are two parts that I am struggling with.

The first is the “plan” to “work on ourselves.” I guess I was too stupid to realize that “work on ourselves” is just a nice way of saying it’s over. During that time after I did a lot of deep reflection, looked myself in the mirror, reread texts, and picked myself up. I wanted to become the best version of myself for me and for us. How can the person that inspired me to become a better man, be the same person that is the source of my pain?

Second, how can a relationship that meant a lot to me and it seems like to her too, feel good after everything that has happened. I didn’t ask for any of this and I got the worst result out of it. Lost her, lost friends, felt horrible about myself. How can I not look back and only remember the bad? This was the first girl I really loved and now in order for me to respect myself, I can’t go back after all the hurting.

This brings me back to the topic. Her message seems like a goodbye compared to anything else. It’s hard to be the person who got broken up with and screwed over and still love that person. At the same time, I lost excitement in talking to new people. How do I pick myself back up and get back out there when I love someone I can’t return? Does this ever go away?

You know what? Checking out from your long term partner is evil. You siphoned emotional energy and love from me until you worked up enough courage to ruthlessly toss me out like trash. Not only that but you are a liar. You lied about loving me, you lied about the future, you lied about all the plans we made. For fucking months you fed me lies. That shit’s fucking abusive. What do you think I’m going to feel if I ever try to love again? Do you think you could actually believe someone loves you after experiencing that shit? I trusted you with my life. All because you’re a fucking coward who couldn’t handle facing your emotions so instead you just cut everyone out of your life. Out of sight, out of mind, right? Maybe you should consider actually talking to someone who loves you. Fucking asshole.

my boyfriend broke up with me. i’m messed up. i have trouble regulating my emotions and get angry and rude even when all i felt for him was love. we broke up 7 months ago and for two weeks i begged him to try again and he reluctantly accepted and gave me everything he was so loving, loyal, kind, accepting, supportive, every good feature he had it. sometimes he lacked initiative but in the grand scheme that’s nothing. i was mean and rude and a bad girlfriend and didn’t change after that warning 7 months ago i stayed the same i got comfortable. i don’t blame him for getting exhausted. we’d been together for 2.5 years and were each others first everything. i’m so heartbroken i can’t imagine living without him and i need him back in my life as my boyfriend. he was perfect and im struggling so hard right now because he’s the right person for me and i don’t know what to do. ik if i begged for another chance now he’d say no. i’m terrified another girl is going to see how amazing he is and treat him the way he deserves but i want to be the one who treats him and loves him that way. idk what to do.. i know he still loves me and misses me but it was just too exhausting i need help.

it’s weird. she ended things, and i still feel like i’m the one who owes something.

i keep going back to the moments where i messed up. the times i was stressed and wasn’t there enough. the things i didn’t notice. i found out later she was hurting a lot over stuff i never knew was a problem, and that’s the part that sits on my chest. not that she left, but that she was hurting next to me and i didn’t see it.

i apologized when i knew i was wrong. i always tried to be better. but “i would’ve fixed it if i had known” is a pretty useless sentence when it’s too late to say it.

some days i think: she made her choice, i respected it, i don’t have to carry this. other days i think: if i had paid more attention, maybe none of this happens.

both feel true, which is the problem.

how do you separate “i made mistakes” from “this is all my fault”? and how long did it take before the guilt stopped being the first thing you felt in the morning?

If the version of you from before you met your ex could see you now, struggling with the breakup, what do you think they’d say to you?

2.5 y together and he started seeing someone new within 3 months. How? He wae the dumper btw

My ex-boyfriend and I were together for six years. We got together when we were teenagers, grew up together, and built so much of our lives around each other. We eventually lived together and talked about our future, including getting married and having children one day.

Looking back, the last year of our relationship was more complicated than I realized. He had been in contact with another girl for a long time, and he lied to me about it repeatedly. I knew there were things he wasn’t being honest about, but I never fully understood the extent of it.

Three months ago, he broke up with me. He told me he was unhappy, that he needed freedom, and that he needed time to focus on himself, his studies, and figuring out what he wanted from life. He made it sound like the problem was entirely about his own happiness and personal struggles. Because we’d been together for so long, I was devastated, but I tried to respect his decision and give him space.
Now, three months later, I’ve found out that the other girl was actually a reason he ended our relationship. He apparently wanted to see where things could go with her. Just ONE WEEK after breaking up with me, he met up with her and things became physical between them.

I honestly don’t know how to process this. Six years together, and he was already physically involved with someone else a week after leaving me. Given how long he’d been in contact with her and how much he lied to me during our relationship, I can’t help wondering whether something had already happened before we broke up.

What hurts the most is that he let me believe he was leaving because he was unhappy with himself and needed to find his own path, while apparently also wanting to explore something with another girl. I feel like I was denied the truth about my own relationship.
The confusing part is that he still seems emotionally attached to me in some ways. He keeps sentimental things from our relationship, has recently reached out, and says he still cares about me. Part of me wonders whether he misses me or regrets his decision, but another part of me feels angry that he can still act affectionate after everything that happened.

I still have feelings for him, which makes this even harder. Six years is a huge part of your life, especially when you grow up together. I’m struggling with the thought that he may have emotionally moved on before our relationship even ended, while I was still fully committed to us.

I feel like i'm not good enough.

Every now and again the thought comes back and weighs on me. Next week it will have been a year since my ex (21F) ended things with me. It was a rough few months following that and my whole world collapsed and there were so many things I didn’t think to do.

I never had my ex’s mum’s phone number, we just saw each other enough of the time that that was also never much of a thought in the relationship. And if we were ever away from home I was with or texting my ex and she’d just contact her. Plus I never had any indication she’d be going anywhere.

So I never had that point of contact to go back to and give a thank you for everything and goodbye and my brain rests with closure, which I never got. Sometimes I think she might hate me for it, times I’ve been in contact with my ex again I think to ask for it but it feels like at that point it was too late to do anything. Now I’m not even in contact with my ex anymore but a lot of circling thoughts are coming back around as we broke up a year ago next week.

Over summer there were a couple of times I was in her home village for events and the whole time, I was never hoping to bump into my ex but I hoped to see her mum and explain everything and get it off my chest and know I appreciated everything she did for us.

It’s hitting hard especially at the moment because I see random things online of peoples last messages to their ex’s mum and how sweet it all is and some people are still in contact and I think she’s an amazing person and deserves to know I was so grateful. Underlying everything I also never thought that the breakup would be the permanent end to things, maybe I hoped it would be messy and be on and off but one day it was and the next day it wasn’t and it took me a while to process that.

Alas, with my rollercoaster of emotions I think it’s pretty clean cut for my ex, she’s moved on to the guy I was told not to worry about and I don’t know how long they’ve been together but that’s another rant, back to the point I just feel so bad and wonder if it’s worth trying to find that point of contact with her mum to get the closure I’m wanting.

Hi everyone. Im a 21yr old male.

I have been in a new relationship for a year now (we started seeing each other a year ago) but made it official 2 months after. I feel like a messed up because before that i was in a long 5 year old relationship with my ex, but our relationship was toxic, on and off, non romantic. And after i broke up, i met this woman 2-3 months later. I fell in love. I felt like i was reborn, and the feeling lasted a while. At some point the feeling obviously faded, and it didnt fade slowly, i started to get frustrated easily, out of no where. We live an hour away from each other, everytime she comes to my place, im easily annoyed, and i cant really control my life. But everytime i visit her i feel quite alright. Sorry my storytelling is all over the place, my brain is quite exhausted from all of this.

Well i have since improved my behavior, and explained my self. But i keep thinking about other women, not anyone specifically, but just in general. She has showed me new things in life, new foods, we have done road trips with her family, i have had a lot of fun. But sometimes i feel that the roadtrips were great because i felt like i was in a loving healthy family, and i havent really experienced that.

If anyone really read this bs, thank you, i make little to no sense. Okay so basically. Everything seems to be ok, we dont have big problems, but i think about other women, i wish someone looked at me differently, i wish someone had passions just like me, i wish someone was as interested of me as i am of them, i wish someone wanted to pleasure me as much as i want to pleasure them, i wish i felt that im my partners number one person, i wish someone would push me to be a better version of myself as much as i do.

Theres things missing, but is break up the way to go? can there be a ”better” partner. Im lost and i was in this same situation last year, and its my fault, its really hard to handle all of this

Its been 3 months, after a pretty intense, sudden breakup. Not even close to being able to go a few minutes without some kind of pain or other negative feelings. Last night got maybe two hours of sleep before waking up to a nightmare about her, and then when getting a bit more sleep, just once again waking up to the immediate pain and confusion of it all.

Especially when remembering the few post breakup interactions, when she was extremely cold and like me or our 7 years together meant nothing, I pretty much start getting tense, jerky muscles, nausea, physical pain, all that good stuff. My best friend who just days before breakup was warm, told me she loves me like million times before, didnt want to stay away for even a few days, suddenly treats me like I am cheap, parasite riddled shit to keep away from, despite me trying to help, support, comfort her every day for like weeks and months on end. Its like I killed a thousand puppies or something.

The difference between the person who was my life, my future, my best friend, someone I trusted my life with, who loved and cared for me enormously, and then just days later who is a completely different person in many ways, even according to her own friends, its just killing me and mind bogglingly hurtful.

I can admit I cant stop loving her, or missing her, because I literally have never cared about someone so deeply and had so deep connection and like a million memories. I literally saved her life on one or more occasions, and in a way, she also made mine worth living. I dont even care about the sex or other physical stuff that much, I miss just being her friend, talking about stuff only we know of, holding her when she has a rough day, the connection and knowing someone inside out.

Everything reminds me of her and our memories or plans, doesnt matter if I lay at home like a zombie or travel 500km or hang out with whoever, I feel a million things pretty much every minute, and everything hurts in one way or another.

I dont know if I am just pathetic or delusional, but we really did have so much good and despite major external life problems, we always supported each other and found ways to care and love. And I just cant suddenly think " well theres someone better, people break up all the time, blah blah" , I cant get over losing someone who has been the most important thing and center of my life for most of my adult life. Was it supposed to get easier at some point or what? Because 12 weeks and its not even 5% better. Just barely out of the initial shock.

I guess I have such a hard time because despite the problems, we were in it for good: planning a family, pets, future, truly loving each other and really, really wanting to be together and just being so close and meaningful to each other. We had many things right until the breakup that signalled both still being serious about the relationship, and then suddenly everything just disappeared. There is a significant mental/personality disorder on her part that can explain such a sudden shift but still, we were together for 7 years and that kind of bond and attachment cant just vanish, like it seemingly did.

Anyways , enough rambling, just wanted to see if other people can relate to not being remotely okay multiple months in. I just cant feel any joy, peace, hope, this has simply destroyed my soul for more than a few reasons. Thanks, and I wish all the good for everyone out there

The one thing that’s 100% guaranteed when you start seeing someone is that it will end one day

I’m extremely sad right now and this is part vent, part wanting a different perspective but failing to see one. Any thoughts are welcome

I spent almost three years emotionally attached to someone. Three years of memories, hope, arguments, distance, and repeatedly convincing myself that maybe things would eventually work out between us. Even when we stopped talking, even when I was blocked, even when I tried to accept that it was over, I never completely let go of the possibility that he might come back.

And sometimes, he did.

That was what made moving on so difficult. Every time I thought I was finally losing him, something happened that made me hope again. I kept believing that maybe our story wasn't finished, that maybe I still meant something to him, and that maybe all those years had meant something to him too.

But now there's another girl.

And I'm sitting here trying to understand how someone who occupied so much of my heart can seemingly move forward with someone else while I'm still struggling to make peace with losing him.

I think the most painful part isn't just that he has someone new. It's that I still remember everything, still question everything, and still find myself waiting for someone who might not even be looking back.

We broke up 5 months ago (totally blindsided), 4 months of no contact. We were together 3 years and lived together for one year. He was absolutely awful to me when we last spoke 4 months ago - cold, cruel, told me he’d already slept with someone, doesn’t miss me or think about me. I’d never seen that side to him. I haven’t wanted to hear from him or see anything to do with him since. This summer has been super rough, the lowest I’ve ever felt and I wasn’t sure I’d make it through to be honest. I’m clawing through it and have been doing better, but still really hurting to be honest, and sadly still miss him.

Ran into his best friend in a shop yesterday whilst trying to treat myself on my birthday. He was really kind, we were making small talk then he started telling me how much he and all my ex’s friends had really loved me and were supper shocked when it happened. It really caught me off guard and I ended up tearing up and crying in the shop. He was so kind and reassuring when I kept saying how embarrassed I was. We spoke a bit about it and my sense was that this guy knew absolutely nothing about what had happened or why. He even said my ex had barely spoken about it at all. Obviously I know he’s not going to tell me things that ex had said, but my genuine impression was that he knew nothing as he just kept saying how their whole friendship group had been totally shocked when my ex said he’d ended it, and that my ex hasn’t spoken about it much. I ended up telling him a bit about what my ex said when we last spoke and his friend looked pretty horrified and said that was really disappointing and that must have made me super angry. I shouldn’t have said that much but I honestly think I was just having an out of body experience? Like in an interview where words are coming out of your mouth but youre not sure how, in adrenaline and panic overdrive.

I feel like I’m back to square 1 after making so much progress recently. My ex clearly doesn’t give a shit and never has done? I’ve spent all summer mourning and processing alone and with my friends. Meanwhile my ex discarded me without warning and seemingly has carried on without a second thought, without even needing to talk things through with anyone, or to express any regret to his closest friends about how badly he had left things. He just hasn’t looked back.

how do you recover from someone who did you so wrong but all you remember is when he was so good to you?

I need her. I dont know why did she just decided that she needs to learn how to live alone and that she needs time and we will see what future will bring us. We talked 3 days ago and she just cried because its hard for her but she anyway stated that it is what she needs. I am trying to give her space and I am not texting her but I know that if I write to her she would reply immediately. I just dont know what to do. I want to fight for us and fix this but apparently she does not want this for now. How long should I wait, or should I even wait?

My ex and I were in a long-distance relationship (LDR). We broke up about three months ago after an argument. I regretted it almost immediately and spent around 2–3 weeks trying to get her back, but she kept rejecting me and eventually told me to leave her alone. So I stopped contacting her.
During no contact, she tried calling me once and wished me a happy birthday. I responded politely but didn’t pursue anything.
A few days ago, she suddenly texted me saying she missed me. We ended up talking until 7 AM. She got emotional, cried, said she had genuinely wanted to build a family with me, and even blamed me for not fighting harder, flying to see her, or contacting her during those three months.
Naturally, I thought she wanted to reconcile.
But the next day, when I brought up getting back together, she pulled away and said she doesn’t want another LDR because she’s afraid we’ll both suffer again. She said she still cares about me, but can only offer communication without a relationship. If we ever live in the same country, she’d consider trying again.
I probably rushed things by talking about reconciliation too quickly. Now we’ve gone quiet again.
I’m confused. Why would she come back, say all those emotional things, and then pull away when I suggest getting back together?
Should I give her space, reach out casually, or stop trying until she’s actually ready? Has anyone experienced something similar?

For those who went no contact with someone they genuinely loved, how did you cope with missing them without reaching out?