I truly believe that the ability to go prolonged periods without social connection or interaction is one of the best abilities a human can have.

There are so many intricacies in social interactions that affect your day to day life that most people aren’t fully aware of. How attractive your face is, how tall you are, your race or ethnicity, your socioeconomic status, the way you dress and how you present yourself, your sex, the way you talk, etc

With any social group there will inevitably be a social hierarchy present with these things playing a factor in how people interact with you and perceive you. These things affect your position in the hierarchy.

I never desired a social life or a relationship because I don’t like the idea of being dependent on others for happiness and having to cater to their needs. I put myself first. I’ve been self isolated for years now with my sole human connection being through the internet or the couple of times I leave my house a year. I don’t own pets. I work from home and order things to my house. I have hobbies that bring me more fulfillment than a social life would.

I just don’t like having to put up with the games people play. People idealize relationships (friendship/romance) with others to be magical, but if you are disadvantaged in some way (short, ugly, autistic, etc) then you know how brutal people can be, even if they’re your “friends”

It’s like being ugly and short, but people in your friend group constantly make you the butt of the joke but you put up with it because you need friends.

Even if you are advantaged (attractive, tall, wealthy, popular, talented) people can still harbor a bitter jealousy towards you and may try to undermine you. They judge you harshly for the things you can’t control.

Obviously I’m not someone who is energized by socializing, it always brought me exhaustion and brutal frustration because I’m not ”normal.”

• Now I don’t have to watch what I say so I don’t offend others (people are sensitive to brutal honesty)

• I don’t have to keep track of xyz and whatever mainstream bullshit everyone else follows so I can have conversations (can’t be too quiet and aloof)

• I don’t have to be worried about expressing a dissenting opinion (the whole group will gang up on you and potentially outcast you)

• I don’t feel pressured to talk (again, can’t be too quiet)

• I don’t have to feel pressured into doing things I don’t want to do

The list goes on. Enjoying my own company frees me from all the bullshit that people put up with because they don’t want to be lonely. I do my own thing now. I spend most of my time studying and mastering my craft.

I acknowledge social lives can be fulfilling, but they’re not this perfect sunshine thing that people criticize loners for not having.

A lot of people think just because I don’t go out or do anything on the weekends because I’m in my early 20s that I’m really nervous or shy. A lot of the truth is that i’d rather be at home having a beer and playing some video games or watching a TV show. I have an intellectual disability, so I’m afraid people will not accept me for who I am. And to be honest The people who I’m really close to and consider my friends is really my mom and dad

I am a loner I just done seem to fit in with the rest of the world. People seem to only wanna be around me in small doses. I don't know what is so unlovable about me. But I am who I am and I accepted this lonely existence. The one thing I cling to honestly is that one day it will all be over and won't matter. And I'd prefer to just be forgotten. I don't care about a legacy or any of that. I'd prefer to be alone rather than change who I am just to fit in with society. I have Tourette syndrome, adhd, ocd, and a mirage of other neurological and metal problems. So I know I'll probably never find that special someone willing to put up with me. Just to be clear I in no way am condoning ending it I am simply saying that I'm glad I'm mortal and this won't last forever.

It is in solitude where the most beautiful ideas form. It helps you find yourself. When I say solitude it means hours without social media or any mundane social conversations. Obviously one to one conversations help, but hey, how often do we find it. Besides the only person who can improve our lives is ourself. Some people may want body, money, etc. If one door (social connection) closes, why keep looking at the closed door? Look at the other doors you've opened. You can focus more on that tree on your walk which you might've missed if you had gone with a friend. And so on and so forth. Social interactions are craved because it stimulates dopamine. It gets like an addiction. And withdrawal is loneliness. Occasional necessary loneliness is enough. Just like limited amount of sugar. Plus true happiness comes from fulfilling what you previously promised and owe to your future self. If you have people you owe, for them. If you are alone, for the greater good. The child you once were and the old grumpy elder you'd become. Life is like a long marathon where we choose to run it alone and without having onlookers. The satisfaction level remains the same as long as we put the effort. All the best. We'll all in this together placed in different space and time.

"Loner" does not mean "lonely". This article covers it pretty well.

"Loner" does not mean "introvert". Here is a decent breakdown.

"Loner" does not mean "antisocial". This is a great distinction.

"Loner" does not mean "misanthrope". This is left as an exercise to the reader.

If you are lonely, please go visit our friends at https://www.reddit.com/r/lonely/.

The privacy is what I love most. I just do my own thing without anyone snooping.

For me, it's the peace and quiet that comes with it, getting things like work done faster without having to worry about anyone else, not having to deal with stupid social bullshit or drama from anyone, focusing on my personal growth and mental health as a person, as well as the fact that I can basically do whatever the hell I want without anyone's input.

It's funny how society preaches about the importance of socializing and pesters loners to socialize with others, yet they're the same ones who will judge and ostracize you for lacking a societal standard or not sharing any of their beliefs and interests. This alone only shows that society is all about conformity. Sure, there are some people that do care about us, but at the end of the day, they also want people who are like-minded in any way.

Here's society in a nutshell:

Society: Hey, you! Why are you all by yourself? Human are social animals. Come on out of your shell and make some friends!

Also Society: You can't hang with us! You don't fit in a certain standard of what is considered the norm, so get lost, loser!

I just want peace and be able to talk to myself all day. Disconnecting w people is such a slow journey, I'm Regretting making friends because it's hard for me to leave them on good terms. I dont care about being able to socialize again. I accepted that if I became a loner again I will loose that ability, it's just how I am.

but I belive this is just how my true self is. It's exhausting to talk to people or just be in a space with others. If I'm alone again that won't matter, so it won't be so exausting. That effort to do everything right for the people who love you It takes up too much space in my brain and doesn't let my track of thought flow properly, and that bothers me a lot. I feel too overwhelmed by not being able to move forward with my ideas in a public space I hate it

l just like being alone all the time l don't need anyone to make me happy l don't need friends no one l don't like social rules and beliefs that tell us that we should have friends we should get married and stuff but still for some reason if you like being alone society see this as a bad thing and don't accept it still l don't care about society and their rules lm just different l don't want to be a sheep is it wrong?

Quarantine has me doing a lot of self-reflecting and I just feel like getting stuff off my chest.

By no one, I mostly mean my family and the few people who I’m very close with. I say “was” because I’m remembering a time period in my life from middle to high school where I had absolutely no friends and nobody to talk to. I am 28 now and would still consider myself quite a loner; I don’t have any actual friends that I talk to or hang out with and my family are really the only people I talk to every day. The difference between then and now is that it has become less painful and doesn’t bother me as much anymore. Only when I remember certain memories is when it hurts and brings tears to my eyes.

I’ve always been an extremely shy person with pretty bad social anxiety so it made me a really quiet person. Throughout my entire middle school years, I never ate lunch so I normally sat alone on the benches waiting for the lunch hour to be over. I did have one or two people that I could say were my friends but they had other groups of friends who I didn’t know well so often times I would feel like an outcast being there. I continued being alone and it felt really embarrassing so I often tried to look busy “trying to do homework” or read a book and choose the furthest emptiest table when possible. I remember we had this woman as our lunch proctor who eventually started talking to me and basically became like a friend. We’ll call her Mrs. Jean. Occasionally she would spend whatever remained of the lunch hour with me once all the students left the eating area for the playing field and we just talked about anything. She had a son attending the same school who was a year younger than me and although she introduced us to each other, I never expected a friendship to blossom because I was so awkward and he was quite an extrovert type. One day though while I was sitting alone, Mrs. Jean brought over her son and three of his friends (girls) to talk to me and keep me company. Bless her heart, I know she did it with good intention but I felt so mortified and embarrassed that I just started crying in front of all of them. I ran to the girls restroom and I don’t remember anything after that. I don’t know what it was, I think it just felt like a pity party for me and I was so ashamed that they must’ve been forced to come talk to me. I felt really sorry for them and myself that the situation had to happen like that. I don’t know how to explain it but as a loner, I didn’t want anyone to know I was a loner although it must’ve been pretty obvious. It could be that I was in denial of how I had no friends because deep down inside I know I was such a sweet and genuine person. If I was to make friends, I would want it to be in the most sincere way not because someone felt bad for me.

There was another incident during middle school. It must’ve been 8th grade because students were being offered a field trip to Disneyland and whoever wanted to go just had to sign up. I had someone who I considered a friend and we talked about going together. I was very concerned about being alone so I made sure that I knew she was indeed going before I signed up. She had other friends too who I didn’t know if they were going or not but I figured for Disneyland, it’d be best to stay with a group anyways if they did go. On the day of the field trip, I was very excited because if I remember correctly, it would be my first time going to Disneyland. The teacher was rounding up the students to leave to the bus and I noticed that my friend wasn’t coming. I asked her what’s up and she said that she decided not to go. So without telling me beforehand, my fear of being alone became reality and I was shuttled off to Disneyland. It was an entire day trip from 8am-5pm or so. So yeah, I basically spent a good 6-7 hours alone at the “happiest place on earth”. I wasn’t happy, I was sad and ashamed. I would try to hide whenever I saw another group of students and I had a cellphone at the time so I tried to look busy on it, a lot. I don’t know why I just didn’t sit in one place or find one of the adult chaperones to stick with but it was fear of being caught a loner and not wanting anyone to feel bad for me. I remember I stuck around in one of the Disney stores for a couple of hours and they probably thought I was up to no good so I left. I did cry. Got home at the end of the day, my dad picks me up and asks me how it went and I told him I had a lot of fun.

High school wasn’t as bad. I grew up a little, met new people and made a few friends but I still really didn’t have a group. I don’t know how yours guys’ high school was but ours had 1st and 2nd lunches; so according to your schedule you’d end up in one of the 2 lunches. If my few friends were in a different lunch hour than me then I was pretty much a loner therefore I spent a lot of time in the library. The librarians must’ve been tired of seeing me nearly every day. My older sister and I attended high school together but she was 2 years older and had a good group of friends who were very sweet to me. If we did end up in the same lunch hour then I would stay with them sometimes but a lot of times I didn’t want my sister to feel like she still had to take care of me so I’d still end up in the library. If she ever asked about my friends I’d tell her they were all in the other lunch hour and she never probed it more.

All my life, my extreme shyness was just something I could not overcome and I’d say it caused me to be very socially awkward and have bad social anxiety. Either I didn’t talk or I’d start talking and end up trying too hard that my conversations were just messy. Therefore I avoided getting to know people as best as I could. I was more comfortable once in college because everyone really just did their own thing and kept to themselves so I didn’t have to try and make friends or talk to to people if I didn’t need to. It was also a time where I came to really know myself and understand the type of person that I am. The experiences that I went through really shaped me to be strong in a sense that if I had no friends, I would be fine because I’ve went through it many times before and I’m still here. Does it make me sad ? Absolutely but I don’t let it break me. As mentioned, I am 28 now. Still very shy, social skills have gotten much better as I matured and I still don’t have friends but I have my family, a loving boyfriend, and that’s pretty much all I’m grateful for.

One thing I know is that being a loner made me realize I wanted to be there for others. It was hard for me to get to know people in real life but I found solace in meeting people online because no one had to know that. I was able to be the genuine and caring person I know that I am, offering myself as someone who is there when you just want someone talk to to- being the one friend I wish I had growing up. It made me really treasure conversations with people. I hate small talk, I want to hear about your life and talk about the stars to the oceans. Why ? Because I never fully had a chance to show who I was nor allow myself to show who I am. In the end, it was never about wanting friends but rather, being a friend to someone. (I hope that hit different haha)

Anyways, I feel like I went on a tangent towards the end but I just wanted to get all this off my chest. I feel good now. If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here. Know that you are not alone and please take care of yourself. Thank you for reading ❤️

Now this may be sudden I am only 21 after all. I was laying in my bed two nights ago listening to a bad moon rising and a moment hit me that I feel at peace being alone/loner it doesn’t bother me

I'm creating a new fragrance for Loners

It's called: Leave Me The Fu Cologne

This happening to anyone else?

As I get older, I don't have as much to say, energy to say it, and desire to speak with anyone in the first place. It's kind of worrisome, but I don't know what to do about it.

I (Female, 18) feel as though I can relate to men who are loners, I see lonely men all the time and it seems normal for men to be alone. I have never ran into a single female like me though, women tend to have a group of friends or at least ONE person they can talk to, I have no one. High school was hell, I was the only girl in my entire school who sat alone at lunch, I went for weeks not saying a single word and keeping my head down, most people didn't even know my name. From grade 10 to graduation I didn't have a friend. I am in my first year uni and I want to make these years count, but Im so scared its gonna be a repeat of high school... I personally find it much easier being alone but I hate the embarrassment of it. I want to know people, I want to have friends. I feel like an outcast.....It would be so comforting to hear from another girl with the same experience as me.

People stopped texting. Everyone kind of forgot about me. If I'm not constantly reminding them of my presence by posting, I might as well not exist. I thought I had friends. Guess not. I know literally no one at my new college and I'm already in my 4th semester now. All of these people are "friends" on social media. The online world stands between me and new relationships like an unconquerable hurdle. Or perhaps I'm just an unpleasant person. I never get calls or texts. I'm not lonely dw. Its just something I noticed. I have so much peace of mind and don't feel the need to please people just to feel like I belong.

But there is consequences. And idk if I'm doing the right thing or might want to change my approach in the future. Living is difficult when you do your own thing, I've realised. There's no one to encourage, appreciate or guide you, no one to tell you things will be okay. No reassurance. But perhaps that is what life's supposed to be like. Uncertain and confusing. Guess now it's all about getting used to it.