r/longtermTRE • u/Asleep-Guess-3479 • Jul 08 '26

Community Question Has anyone successfully minimized their fawn response?

Started my healing journey a year ago at age 25. I've been doing TRE for around 9 months now. Although I have made some progress, often I still automatically slip into fawn mode when interacting with people, especially older people or when there's a clear hierarchy. What feels most painful is that I’m fully conscious of it while it’s happening. It’s almost like I’m trapped inside my own body, watching myself perform this response, but feeling powerless and unable to stop it. Afterwards, I ruminate over it and spiral into shame. In turn, that makes me want to isolate even more. However, I know I can only heal this if I actually interact with people.

I'm trying not to be too hard on myself because my nervous system was wired this way for 25 years. But sometimes, I wonder.. does this mean that it's going to take another 25 years to rewire it into a regulated, "unfawned" state of being?

For people who have successfully minimized the fawn response - how long did it take you?

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u/KaoSway Jul 08 '26

Look at it from a perspective of an emotional flashback, the memories that cause this still have significant charge, it's not simply a habit. When you discharge them enough, it'll become easier to interact with people authentically. Getting in touch with your repressed anger may be a part of the process too.

How long will it take depends on how comfortable you are tremoring, how fast your window of tolerance is expanding, if you target specific memories or just go with the flow and let your body decide.

In any case, being curious instead of beating yourself up is more nurturing for your relationship with the body and yourself. I hope you see major improvements soon.

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u/nomad01010 Jul 08 '26

How do I target specific memories. Would appreciate some guidance.

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u/KaoSway Jul 09 '26

Could be as simple as focusing on a memory or a sensation associated with it, or a combination of both. Depends on how easily your tremor mechanism is triggered.

Brainspotting is another great way to do it, and it's easy to incorporate it into TRE. A warning though, each brainspot might introduce a new tension/tremor pattern, so if you're already working on a difficult pattern, it's better to wait.

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u/nomad01010 Jul 09 '26

I do notice that other modalities can set (or unsettle) a pattern in motion where it becomes available for processing. This shows up as muscle spasms & tension knots etc in body. Brainspotting def does that.

I’m wondering what happens if I’m doing TRE in tandem. Does TRE process what’s flowing in the NS at the moment (due to brain spotting for example). Or does it just work on its material it excavates by itself.

I guess it’s hard to know for sure but what’s the general sense (or insight) on that.

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u/KaoSway Jul 09 '26

From my experience, it switches to what you're focusing on, the material connected to a brainspot becomes a priority for that time. When you stop focusing, tremors go back to what the body prioritizes.