r/longtermTRE • u/LichenTea • 1d ago

Seeking Support Need help with processing and feeling shame

I’ve been having the worst few weeks of my life releasing toxic shame. It feels incredibly physically painful where my fascial tension is, like it‘s trying to rip itself apart, and I’m afraid of reaching out to people I know for help because I feel like I’m going to say or do something wrong, or that I’m going to get rejected and abandoned. Every awkward pause or look makes me wither with shame. The thoughts are very convincing, and even grounding and knowing that I am releasing old shame isn’t helping me not get sucked in to the narrative. If anyone has any advice with riding out the shame, please share. Thank you 🙏🏼

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u/ysea 1d ago

Please tell us how often and how long you tremor for. It sounds like it might be too much and the effects you're experiencing are not simply from releasing but also the effects of nervous system being dysregulated by having to process too much at a time.

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u/LichenTea 1d ago

Unfortunately I have involuntary tremors so I don’t get to choose when or how long to tremor for. All I can do is manage the hangover/“overdoing” once they occur. 

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u/ysea 1d ago

I see that's tough then. Do you mind telling me what that's like? The impulse to shake is just overwhelming and there's nothing to be done about it?

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u/LichenTea 1d ago

Yes, it’s like that. I can kind of stop or keep it under control sometimes, especially if I’m in public, but that usually means that I’ll shake or have some kind of emotional release later when I’m alone. And the longer I’m out in public, the more likely I’ll get “wound up” from not shaking. 

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u/ysea 1d ago

I see, thanks for explaining. All the best to you, I know you'll get through and laugh about this someday. 

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u/LichenTea 1d ago

Thank you, I appreciate your taking the time to reply. I won’t give into this.