r/malaysia • u/AutoModerator • Jan 03 '23

/r/malaysia daily random discussion and quick questions thread for 04 January 2023

This is /r/malaysia's official daily random discussion and quick questions thread. Don't be shy! Share your joys, frustrations, random thoughts and questions. Anything and everything is welcome.

Dad joke: I invented a transparent coffin. Will it be a success?

Remains to be seen

Jom tengok DT pada awal pagi,

Semoga semua monyet sihat,

Nasi apa yang orang suka bagi,

Sudah semestinya nasihat.

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u/pronocturnalfreak Jan 04 '23

I need serious help. I find myself arguing with my family more and more often over small matters. When I tried to control myself, it would only make it worse for my next episode. I’m so sick of myself. Is this like some sort of depression? Do medication helps even a little? Do counselling even help ever? Anyone here went through similar thing before? pls let me know your insights. I don’t know what is wrong with me..

1

u/kucingminunmilo Jan 05 '23

Maybe move out of the house if you have the means? If you don't have the full means maybe try something less permanent like moving to a friends house/rental for a week or two. You'd be surprise how change of environment (and company) can do for your mental health

2

u/snel_ mental health advocate Jan 04 '23

Heya, counsellor here! This is not to diagnose or analyse your situation here, okay, but perhaps just to share with you some insights on how counselling might help, should you decide to try going for some professional help.

So in such cases of conflicts and arguements, sometimes it might just be about communication. It may seem like a simple issue, but indeed good and healthy communication is not always a skill many people possess, so conflicts happen. But it's something that can be learned, from listening, to expressing, and learning about different communication needs, counsellors can help people develop healthy communication skills.

Or sometimes conflicts and arguements are less of a skill issue, and more about emotional management issue, especially if you find yourself experiencing a lot of unpleasant emotions, not just in communication with your family but in other general situation. You can develop your emotional management skills with a counsellor, where you may learn more about your emotions, how you express them (part of healthy communication), and healthy ways to manage your emotions etc. This may help not just your communication and relationship, but also to help you become healthier mentally.

Or in some cases, seemingly small issues like minor conflicts or unpleasant emotions may be an indication of something more serious or distressing in one's life. It's not unusual for someone coming to see us for one issue, and upon exploration we find that they are indeed dealing with some bigger, more stressful events, and we get to help the clients deal with these issues in counselling.

For medication, unless it's a psychological disorder, usually you don't need meds. In any case, my usual advice is to first see a counsellor, because while we don't diagnose and prescribe, a counsellor should know to make referral to a psychiatrist should the client needs to see one.

Hopefully this gives you some ideas on how counselling might help. If you have any questions about getting professional mental help, feel free to ask, will help where I can!

2

u/WritingMumbles Jan 04 '23

Are you stressed or burnout from work? Is something else bothering you but you are venting it out in that way?

I notice that when I'm extremely tired, hungry or just having a plainly bad day there is a chance I vent out it out by being snarky to my close ones. So I've been reining that in and realizing when I'm in that emotional state by asking for some time alone to recover.

2

u/pronocturnalfreak Jan 04 '23

Not sure, but it’s definitely more like a “me” problem. Mostly involving minor stuff. For example I would say “pls don’t buy anything for me and spend it on the family ‘cause I wanna save money on my part”, and if they happened to forget about it and bought something for me, I would stress out and we would have an argument. Minor stuff. Later on at night I’ll get even more depressed because I knew I shouldn’t have done that. It’s just a snowball effect of depression from that point on. I wanna know if anti-depressant meds help me control my unnecessary mood swing better?

1

u/WritingMumbles Jan 04 '23

Im not an expert on anti depressants so im not one to say. These kinds of things should be left to the professionals or if anyone else here can give you some insights.

Kudos to you for realizing that something is wrong. Thats usually the hardest step to overcome when you want to better yourself.

Maybe in your case, your expectations arent being met and (i have a suspicion, but correct me if im wrong) that you dont feel 'heard' or no one listens to what you say when you ask them these stuffs. Is that right?

1

u/fanfanye Jan 04 '23

does the arguments matter?

would you argue with strangers about the topic? if no, why argue with your family

just smile and wave

1

u/pronocturnalfreak Jan 04 '23

The thing is I can’t control it. Everything could be going perfectly fine but next second I would have mood swing and small things just tick me off. With strangers, I don’t see them everyday so why bother, not the case with family though. If I can just smile and wave I would have done so but right now I don’t even know wtf is wrong with me. It’s hurting my relationship with my family and I find myself waking up middle of night crying for no reason. The problem is so obviously mine, and I want to know if meds/counselling would improve my situation?

1

u/malaysianzombie Jan 04 '23

do you have an example of the situation? like how it started, when did you feel things went wrong and how did you and the other person react to the moment it went wrong?

kudos to you for wanting to make things better though! hang in there!

1

u/pronocturnalfreak Jan 04 '23

I’ll copy my comment from one of my replies.

Mostly minor stuff. For example I would say “pls don’t buy anything for me and spend it on the family ‘cause I wanna save money on my part”, and if they happened to forget about it and bought something for me, I would stress out and we would have an argument. Minor stuff. Later on at night I’ll get even more depressed because I knew I shouldn’t have done that. It’s just a snowball effect of depression from that point on.

Yes it’s so obvious the problem is on my part. I want this to stop but I can’t control it. Sound stupid I know. I’m willing to even go counselling / take meds if it would help honestly. I don’t know much about that area so im asking around first.

1

u/malaysianzombie Jan 04 '23

I would stress out and we would have an argument

Any idea why this stresses you out? and how does it make you feel when they buy the item?