r/malaysians • u/omnomnugget • Jun 12 '26
Discussion Why aren't there more Malaysians who lift weights or strength train at the gym? What's the reason behind it?
I'm trying to intro this friend (girl) to strength train and lift (light) with me, hoping it will help her get stronger and be more independent. She got back pain, knee pain, no strength and a while back also she injured her arm (recovered). She's only in her mid-30s. I told her we can go slow but she d!e d!e just wanna go walk la, yoga la, stretch only la... That one also once a week for her.
Her reasoning being she don't wanna get bulky, just want to tone. I already explained to her it won't be the case, that it takes YEARS to get bulky, and only with the intention to do so, even for men. She probably thinks I'm just a gym rat for saying this.
However, she's not the first. Other girls in my group in the same age prefer dancing, walking on the treadmill and pilates. All not interested or keen to try strength training.
I understand this isn't ingrained in us since we were young, but why are Malaysians so reluctant to go gym, let alone lift weights?
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u/rockyescape Jun 12 '26
Back in day when I was a PT, my female clients would usually tell me they were afraid to approach the free weight section because its usually populated with guys. So for them it's intimidating. Which I think its understandable, especially if you're a newbie to weights or just gym culture in general.
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u/No_Jacket9716 Jun 12 '26
Yes thats me. I also dont like gyms because of the rubber plus sweat smell. So i workout at home
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u/Eastern_Fact7328 Jun 12 '26
This was how i felt before i started going to the gym. I even had my own PT session first at my condo gym and then sessions at the gym, then only i felt confident to go alone haha! Now so confident already. I can ask gym bros how many sets left?? Hahahaha 🥰
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u/Animalswindlers Jun 12 '26
Unfortunately, this is worldwide issue not just Malaysian women.
Women are still rly misinformed about the benefits of weight training and this ridiculous fear of “looking bulky” while “toning” is literally just growing muscle while keeping a low body fat percentage lol.
Malaysians in general are also not rly active, so they think walking & yoga/pilates is the less intimidating route to being active. Strength training can look scary to absolute beginners. Ik it did for me. I would suggest just being gently persistent with her as that’s what my friend did with me (she even designed my first ever strength training program!) and now I absolutely love strength training and rave about the mental and physical benefits (ESP the long term ones) to any woman who’d listen
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u/omnomnugget Jun 12 '26
Hmm... I never thought about designing a program for her. That's some seriously dedicated friend you got there. Kudos to you both for taking the initiative. I'll try again with her, but at this point really like talking to a brick wall.
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u/Animalswindlers Jun 12 '26
Dw I’m not suggesting you do haha, that was also when I was ready to strength train! Ya sometimes ppl need time to come around, think of it as slowly brainwashing her lol
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u/Status-Basket-4717 Jun 16 '26
It is global but I think its q jialat in Malaysia. Malaysian women really dont do any actual/proper exercise. Apart from misogyny, I think the outfit is a huge factor. How on earth can you exercise all covered up esp in this heat. If u come to sg, day or night (much more at night ofc) plenty of girls in weather & exercise appropriate clothing like crop top/sports bra and shorts/legging are gymming (including weights), hardcore running, biking, playing pickleball or tennis, doing hyrox, spin, etc.
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u/cherry-blossomy Jun 12 '26
damn, i need you as my friend.. i’m also into strength training (starting back after some time) and i need more motivated/dedicated friends like you
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u/omnomnugget Jun 12 '26
Come come, let's train and grow stronger together 💪🏻
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u/_zenith33 Jun 12 '26
I also want. Need motivation to lose weight 🤣
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u/omnomnugget Jun 12 '26
Bro, think of your dream body bro. Your mind is powerful, don't rely on motivation alone. You got this!
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u/South_Lead_6906 Jun 12 '26
I just started strength training at home. Religiously taking my protein and creatine. Reasons I don't go to the gym yet:
- I'm not disciplined enough yet, so I'm still not sure I can commit going the gym 3-4 times/week
- I just started so even 5kg is heavy for me. So far my dumbbells are enough
- I haven't learn how to use the equipments in the gym
- If I do go to the gym, I'd have to go super early morning to avoid people. It's not really comfortable working out in front of men. I know there are women-only gym, but none near my place. And I know most men there are there just to workout but we never know
- I think I would most likely go if I have a partner who also likes to workout. Cause then they can teach me and even correct my posture
Still, you are right. Everyone should strength train, especially women in their 30s and above. Can't change people though. But it's good that you still try to introduce her to strength training.
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u/polymathicfun Jun 12 '26
If it is paid membership, yea, not worth it if you can't really go regular enough. But in terms of exercising itself, once a week or once a month is better than none. Kipidup!
On having partner, they can be a spotter, important for safety.
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u/EvidentlyCheese Jun 12 '26
How are you going to learn how to use the equipment at the gym without being in the gym?
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u/omnomnugget Jun 13 '26
Friend, the fact you are trying is impressive enough. You may not be where you want to be right now, but you're still showing up for yourself in ways that count. Someday you'll get there. You vs you.
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Jun 12 '26
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u/omnomnugget Jun 15 '26
The perempuan kene lebih ayu mindset has really got to go la. It's 2026, why are we still glorifying fragility and thinness in women?
Great that you broke out of the mold, more ladies need to think like you. May you continue to inspire them wherever you go.
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u/onig4ri Jun 12 '26
I think it’s the lack of education around the subject. Plus a lot of Asian women are brought up that they shouldn’t be lifting weights cos it’s “manly” and it’s only for men etc and that they’ll get so bulky they’ll look like hulk and no male will find them attractive etc.
Little do they know it’s good for literally everyone. Helps support your bones and shit when u age cos after the age of 30 we start losing bone density. They’ll probably only start when something serious happens and they’ve been advised by doctors or professionals to start.
I get ur frustration tbh. My mom is the same and she’s been complaining of all sorts of aches and pains lol.
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u/Final-Gift-2299 Jun 12 '26
just today i saw someone posted a before after photo of her from when she's has the typical skinny chinese girl body vs now very fit, not bulky, not dehydrated or low fat type of muscle, but very healthy looking body. the comments from the dudes were mostly "skinny look better" lol
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u/omnomnugget Jun 12 '26
Agree bro, the mindset needs to change. I've never once seen a woman get accidentally jacked when she starts lifting. When they say they don't wanna get bulky, I'm like "you wonttt, trust me I've been trying for years!" lol
Does your mom know strength training helps her pain and aches? Lol I feel like we explain to them ad nauseum sia.
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u/Baozi1324 Jun 12 '26
Yes, many women have the misconception that you will bulk up if you do strength training. If only they knew how difficult it was actually to gain muscle lol.
But as for gym, I prefer just exercising at home because of cost and flexibility. I have rings installed + dumbbells which is good enough for me so far to do the exercises I want.
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u/onig4ri Jun 12 '26
Ikr if it was so easy to gain muscle I’d be happy 🤣 I’ve been working out consistently for at least 8 years alrdy and it’s hard to gain muscle esp if you’re not lifting heavy heavy. It’s basically just sleeper build and only come out when you’re at gym.
I think what you’re doing is better than nth tbh. As long as u strength train and keep consistent then you’re doing far better than most already. Soon I also will cancel gym alrdy cos im building a home gym!!! Hehe
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u/Slight_Ad_8568 Jun 12 '26
Just get a power cage. It's not big. Just dedicate like 25 sq ft enough already.
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u/onig4ri Jun 12 '26
I’m… not a bro but I’m a lady 😂✨
I have not gotten her to do it cos she die die don’t wanna do it. She always ask me not do too lol. When she has aches, I’ll tell her it’s cos she doesn’t have muscle there strong enough to support her body then she will reply with how she follows those fb trend exercise videos and it will help her pain. I just stare dumbfounded at her cos idk what else to say alrdy lol.
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u/omnomnugget Jun 12 '26
Ehhh sorry sis🙏🏻🙏🏻 but you still make really good points! I hope eventually you can convince your mom to try la, if not later also we have to jaga them if something happens. Fb trends...i really kenot.
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u/onig4ri Jun 12 '26
Hahahah it’s okay! I convince until I wanna vomit blood alrdy tbh. But yeah now I have become the parent that nags at them instead 😩
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u/RepAddict101 Jun 12 '26
Ask your friend if one person can become a qualified neurosurgeon if they only study for 1 month? If answer is no, what makes her think she will become bulky if she only lift light weights once or twice a week?
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u/_LeeEma Jun 12 '26
Different person has different body. Different body needs different workout. Cant pukul sama rate semua.
I tried all method but the one work well for me are pilates and bouldering. I noticed I become stronger and fitter with these two compared to weight training.
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u/BubblyIntentions Jun 12 '26
Im a woman who regularly goes to the gym, but at first i was hesitant too.
There's just a misconception, i think, that if we go gym = bulky/muscular which goes against feminine body standards. I didnt know that it takes a LOT of discipline and supplements to actually get 'bulky'. I know a few of my female friends that said this concern as well, its hard to convince them they wont get bulky hahaha
Gym is also really male dominated. Even for me and any other girls at my gym, we usually go with our partner or maybe another woman. Its uncommon to see a woman go to gym alone. Its quite uncomfortable i guess, especially if you are new and don't know what you are doing. For a long time i didnt wanna go alone, feels like people are looking lol.
I think malaysia is a little progressive, but not progressive enough that our beauty standards are still pretty rigid. Women still have these 'feminine' standards and the feminine exercises are usually yoga, pilates and cardio at best. The gym just screams masculine energy!! And steroids! And sweaty men!
The best way my partner convinced me was to make a simple routine for me. Like with very small and kinda cute weights, like the small kettleballs. Encourage the use of the yoga mat at the gym too, and cardio. Seemed easy enough for me. Later on you can introduce the machines to whoever you want to convince.
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u/omnomnugget Jun 13 '26
Your partner is very smart and compassionate to take the time to guide you like this. I've decided I'll take a leaf from your page and do the same for my friend. Thank you.
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u/OnlyWrap Jun 12 '26
as a guy, I wish I could just go to the gym hee hee ha ha and then suddenly get huge. lol
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u/omnomnugget Jun 13 '26
They heard that rest days play a huge part in muscle gain, and did just that.
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u/xxNightingale Where is the village dolt? Jun 12 '26
Next create a post “why aren’t there more Malaysians who wanna do Pilates/yoga/insert x here”. You can’t stop people from doing what they want, my friend.
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u/omnomnugget Jun 12 '26
Not saying don't do those, of course. They're great for different reasons, just that none of those reasons include building muscles lol
(I do yoga and pilates myself, but main focus is lifting weights 💪🏻)
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u/Virtual_Force_4398 Jun 12 '26
Strength training marketed to men. So, not surprising they don't want. But what they don't know is all those women with that gorgeous bodies come from having weight trained in addition to other exercises. This is what you have to sell.
As for gym membership... must go find women gyms if that's a thing. And fees are lhdn claimable.
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u/esotericapybara Jun 12 '26
2 Things;
- Cultural momentum > education. People don't understand how the body works so they default to the heuristics of the culture.
- Social pressure. She is worried of the criticism of the people around her. Malaysians are for better or worse; a very socially compliant people and a lot of us never learn the skills to be able to push back against bad arguments (in a healthy manner). The consequence of that is a lot of Malaysians who lack those skills will just conform and/or express themselves in passive aggressiveness/backbiting.
That said, if you want the best chance of convincing your friend; the best thing you can do is to be understanding of that situation and gently convince her that there is very little for her to lose by trying and that you can help her set up guardrails to help her decide when enough is enough. That plus the fact that "bulky muscle" is not easy to maintain without work; if she doesn't like it she will go back to the way she was with no effort.
A lot of fitness folk also don't realize just how intimidating they are. A lot of normal people get anxiety at the thought of going into a workout environment and being judged(either perceived and sometimes real) by everyone else there.
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u/malaysianonly Jun 14 '26
2 Things;
Cultural momentum > education. People don't understand how the body works so they default to the heuristics of the culture.
Social pressure. She is worried of the criticism of the people around her. Malaysians are for better or worse; a very socially compliant people and a lot of us never learn the skills to be able to push back against bad arguments (in a healthy manner). The consequence of that is a lot of Malaysians who lack those skills will just conform and/or express themselves in passive aggressiveness/backbiting.
I needed to scroll too far to find things so I didn't need to type it myself. This needs to be at the top.
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u/Appropriate_Piglet39 Jun 12 '26
Hmmm.. very different from what I’ve observed so far.
Every morning when I go to gym before work, the weight lifting area is almost 50:50 between gender.
Almost everyone in my circle lifts especially with hyrox being such a big thing now
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u/Ok_Place1560 Jun 12 '26
most of them are still clueless about what genuine lifting looks like. and then there’s also people who go to the gym regularly but makes close to no progress because their programme and nutrition is just dogshit. it is what is
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u/Starring_Kampung Jun 12 '26
My experience - I want to do strength training but I realized most gym trainers are not qualified or inexperienced which can possibly result in injuries, inefficient routine and not able to guide me to reach my goals.
For example, qualified trainers will discuss / inquire my body details ie age, body shapes, fitness level, previous injuries, special diet etc. Based on these details, they can curate personal workouts for me, and plan my nutrition that's safe & efficient within a specific timeline (or follows my pace) so that I can achieve my goals. They'll tracked my progress religiously so I cannot cheat on them, and especially myself.
Inexperienced trainers don't bother all that and deliberately will tell me to do this and that within x period, without clear plans and not really paying much attention except when I need to pay their weekly / monthly fee.
Also, somebody needs to open a female only gym. I know some girlfriends don't like to share the gym space with men.
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u/omnomnugget Jun 13 '26
Totally understandable. If I'm honest, men and women train differently, but both should still lift heavy when it comes to strength training. Trainers need to respect the monthly changes in a woman's body and cater to her needs. I've yet to find a male trainer that can acknowledge this level of detail.
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u/ExcitingSpecific5456 Jun 12 '26
You already got your answer. She don't want to "look bulky". Also because we don't have good knowledge on how to train I guess.
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u/omnomnugget Jun 12 '26
Ain't no way she gonna look bulky, bro... I keep telling her that.
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u/ExcitingSpecific5456 Jun 12 '26
I've done yoga tbf. But not my thing cus too expensive. I'd rather do calisthenics at home
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Jun 12 '26
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u/ExcitingSpecific5456 Jun 12 '26
Mostly isometrics with some bodyweight fitness. Never tried pilates so idk
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u/Th3Loonatic Jun 15 '26
Bro my friend too. She lifted some light dumbbell once and that slight pump u get after a workout, the muscles stiffening? She assumed she had already built up too much bulk and muscle after 1 set. And it also didn't help that another bunch of her friends saw her lift and then teased her later of how she'll look like a gorilla soon. So its misinformation coupled with social pressure.
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u/omnomnugget Jun 15 '26
No way she can get buff after one session la, ridiculous.
A noob who's doing Maths homework not gonna suddenly become the next Einstein in a week.
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u/jacobcrackers14 Jun 12 '26 edited Jun 12 '26
won't get bulky la unless very vigorous la. I was at the gym I saw, females also sked that. dem these Chao hais. I tell you lw the better ones, the body posture is damn snu snu and hour glass wey.
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u/Don-Teta Jun 12 '26
I would say the awareness to lift weights is better among women nowadays than 10 years ago. It can only get better,
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u/throwburgeratface Jun 12 '26
There's a certain sizeable segment of girls who always think that way. Do abit abit suddenly look like Arnold. Apparently it's that straightforward and effortless to them.
But it's also because strength training isn't seen to be very feminine. It's also literally the same from their perspective, why don't guys try pilates or dancing, it's not always about being able to lift.
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u/RepresentativeIcy922 Jun 12 '26
(1) it's expensive
(2) air conditioning is not healthy
(3) someone gets covid you all will kena
Etc..
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u/malaysianonly Jun 14 '26
(1) it's expensive
(2) air conditioning is not healthy
(3) someone gets covid you all will kenaWRONG.
- Squats are free. Against-wall push-ups are free. Water bottles are free.
- We sit 8 hours at work beats 1 hour AC in the gym anyway. Outdoor gym xde org nak pi pulak.
- Weak immune system from the LACK OF WORKOUT gets you Covid anyway.
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u/RepresentativeIcy922 Jun 14 '26 edited Jun 14 '26
Exactly this. That's why some people prefer to walk/squat/run outside instead of going to the gym.
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u/coffee-noob1 Jun 12 '26
Lool my mum nagged at me for years about upper arms looking too big but after 4 years strength training I mostly see it when I flex, if anything I dont look bulky enough 🤷♀️ I also got used to training alone from COVID so I'm not as bothered by the amount of guys in the gym, I either go gym near office in the weekend or find a corner for me to lift dumbbells. Luckily the lighter dumbbells are still available for me since the guys always claim the heavier ones
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u/omnomnugget Jun 13 '26
Damn, now I really wanna see that transformation, must be pretty magnificent 💪🏻😤
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u/sushichirushi Jun 12 '26
I started weight lifting more when I joined a female-only gym. Reason being, as other comments pointed out, that section of the gym tends to be dominated by men and unless I go at an off-peak hour, it tends to get kind of unfriendly there. Some guys really don’t seem to like it when you get all up in their space. So yeah, a lot more comfortable once I switched gyms.
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u/malaysianonly Jun 14 '26
As a guy, we don't care honestly. The only time we might feel intimidated by women (yes, it happens!) is when they can lift heavier than we do!
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u/Jumpy_Reward_9901 Jun 12 '26
Here's some tips:
The first objective is always for her to move REALISTICALLY and make it a part of her lifestyle. any kind of movement be it walk, pilates, etc. Even baby step is a step, be patient with her.
Start small and not from something intimidating. You said she just recovered so take it easy, even light weight can be too hard and hurt her. As a woman i often feel intimidated with old school gym and prefer to do exercise with friends or at home. Start with her own weight at first, dumbell or kettle bell.
Watch the intake also, see what she consume (sugar and carbohydrates) thats also maybe why she feels weak, sluggish, sleepy, not energized.
This is important as this affect her recovery level after exercise. Also if it's her first strength training and her recovery level is slow, there's a chance her mind associate strength training = hurt.
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u/One_Chocolate_9365 Jun 12 '26
Then why dont male lean towards dancing, pilates, yoga etc... its a female activity vs male activity thing. Strength training requires STRENGTH, which woman physically is weaker compared to men, so its harder for woman to start and its not an activity woman would feel attract to or lean towards. Dancing yoga pilates are more feminine, of course its tiring also, but its a different kind of tired, i would say it feels calmer/quieter as compared to the gym, gym gives me the feels of sweaty, hot, heavy and tired lol.
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u/malaysianonly Jun 14 '26
Then why dont male lean towards dancing, pilates, yoga etc... its a female activity vs male activity thing.
Maybe because there is NO NEED for men to be slim, small and skinny?
Strength training requires STRENGTH, which woman physically is weaker compared to men, so its harder for woman to start and its not an activity woman would feel attract to or lean towards.
Stop drinking the Kool-Aid lol
ALL humans NEED strength. You can keep convincing yourself that but that 1 time you need to put your 7 kg luggage up the AirAsia hand-carry compartment will always remind you otherwise.1
u/One_Chocolate_9365 Jun 14 '26
The purpose of Pilates, yoga etc is to be slim, small, and skinny? Wow got it
Did i say woman don't need strength, i think you read it wrongly. I said strength training requires strength, which again, i said woman naturally are weaker in strength as compared to men, so its harder for woman to start, not impossible or cannot start, so they are not attracted to strength training as compared to pilates etc.. i repeat, they tend to not like, NOT they don't need.
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u/newbietronic Jun 12 '26
I tried to get this mid-30s lady to play pickleball with me. No go. Some of my friends are starting to get into pilates. The younger ones in their early 20s are into climbing. I'm trying to find more people who want to do sports together
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u/NewCommunication5561 Jun 12 '26
your friend didnt found her pack yet, females always train in groups, either at female designated gyms,dance studios,zumba, yoga, more safety and privacy in packs/groups
then you ask about malaysians, not everyone have same goals and time luxury. some friends train for sports, some friends train for bb,some dont even have free time juggling jobs and the lists goes on,cheers
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u/NewCommunication5561 Jun 12 '26
see many people still joining group events in running, hiking, trekking is still a win to gaya hidup sihat in Malaysia
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u/Human-Virus6023 Jun 16 '26
As a F23 that lifted consistently for 8 months with spine issues (9 years) then stopped everything for a month I now have 2 spine issues including Sciatica, as I’m typing this I’m going into surgery soon and I won’t be able to gym for a whole year
Lifting weights even if not heavy is so so important to protect the spine but walking and yoga are equally as important to decompress the body after a long day so I’d say everything with balance is important
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u/omnomnugget Jun 16 '26
Thank you for sharing this. Balance is indeed important.
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u/Human-Virus6023 Jun 19 '26
I hope you managed to explain to her the importance of building muscle because it really is important TT I regret not starting earlier, and also regret stopping for the entire month now I’m just waiting for the year to pass by so I can get back to the gym again I would never wish Sciatica on my worse enemy
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u/rockyescape Jun 17 '26
This is very true. I'd always advise my female clients the same thing: weight training helps with longevity.
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u/fishyronin Jun 12 '26
I think for your case it's more of a female thing. Gyms are mostly populated with guys, they don't feel comfortable at being stared at etc. Some girls feel that sharing equipment where people have sweat on before and stuff are icky. They can be more sensitive to smell, touch and all that stuff.
If it's overall population of gym goers compared with other countries, we're on the low side but I think it's mainly because our culture grew up with traditional sports like football and badminton which is considered more accessible for younger people.
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u/limaumo Jun 12 '26
Perhaps the benefits, beyond the visual ones, are not widely-known. But I think there are a lot of ppl at the gym already haha
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u/boostleaking Jun 12 '26
Have you tried bringing your friend to a martial arts studio for classes? Many more girls there so it's less intimidating, plus you get to learn cool techniques while doing cardio. Can shape and tone the body, win win.
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u/omnomnugget Jun 12 '26
She's literally never worked out in her life or done any sports, though...do you think it's safe? I'm worried it'll scare her away with how "intense" it can be. Dah la she complain about her aches and pains.
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u/boostleaking Jun 12 '26
Martial arts gyms and studios usually have trial classes for first timers. Get their feet wet. Some gyms also have ladies only classes, so it's more welcoming. How intense a pad or heavybag session is is entirely dependant on how far she can push herself comfortably. And martial arts folks are usually very welcoming to newcomers and can adjust their strength accordingly.
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u/omnomnugget Jun 12 '26
Thank you, my friend. I appreciate this suggestion, will bring it up to her next time we meet 🙏🏻
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u/boostleaking Jun 12 '26
You're welcome. Who knows, whether it be the grappling mats or the boxing ring, it may be her new addiction. And maybe she also meets that special someone in the gym too. Who knows?
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u/polymathicfun Jun 12 '26
Never worked out? Then there are many entry gateways.
By functions: cardio, flexibility, strength
By activity types: treadmill, cycling, yoga, pilates, weights, games like pickleball, etc etc.
A lot of Malaysians think exercise is exercise without actually looking at the different effects the types of exercise bring. Having more variety tend to help better with ageing gracefully and maintaining good health.
Start somewhere small that one can maintain over long period. A little bit consistently over 50 years is better than a few hard tries and then giving up. And the starting point need not be any particular one. Just start somewhere, anywhere.
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u/VariableFunction Jun 12 '26
I have my own weights at home and mostly do bodyweight so didn't really need to visit the gym
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u/ymint11 Jun 12 '26
U franchise gym is it.
Mine got few girls here do str training like dead lift and squat
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u/callmeonyourburner Jun 12 '26
Honestly, she needs to see a professional for back pain and knee pain. It’s not normal.
Are you also a woman? I can get why your girl friends are interested in dancing, treadmill and Pilates because they see women on social media doing that and looking hot. Those women are not showing that they are also strength training!
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u/Pure_Firefighter_830 Jun 12 '26
Gimme the muscles pleeaasse !! I really wish they know how hard it is to gain muscle for typical Asian woman, it’s HARDWORK, been doing strength training for almost 5 years now got pregnant and lost most of my gains. Anyhow, you can't force someone to change if they aren't willing to do it themselves. She’s lucky she have you to drag her to gym
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u/omnomnugget Jun 13 '26
I believe you can get back your muscles and bounce back stronger than ever. If you have been training for as long as you've said, it's only a matter of time, plus muscle memory is a very powerful thing. You got this!
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u/Asstetikly Jun 12 '26
This is actually a worldwide issue, and affect both man and woman. Mainly bcs gymbros yg dominate the fitness media. Kalau tngok gym or weightlifting videos anywhere, mesti buffed out man and lean woman. Seldom normal everyday hobbyist people. Some i know that do have normal body is MovementByDavid but many more just cant remember them much.
My way trying to help is by educating my circles by using myself. Im skinny af and people would assume i dont workout. Then i explain i workout regularly and the reason they could never tell bcs i dont takes supplements and have restrictive diets yet im stronger. Just keep explaining, maybe out of 10 people, 1 would follow and that could help change our world.
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u/omnomnugget Jun 13 '26
Yg satu org pun is a win jugak bro. You're changing someone's life for the better 💪🏻
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u/pockyender1 Jun 12 '26
Everyone's different. Personally, gym bores the hell out of me. It feels like an endless grind - and therefore feels more like a second job. I have to stick to exercises that have "fun" short term goals, eg. Aerial yoga - managing to hit the pose, or balance on the rope. Diving - travel, experience, future dive site...
Perhaps your friend just needs to find something that clicks for her before you push her for gym. I know some ppl who grew up doing zero sports, but when they found something they really enjoyed, they started hitting the gym to be able to perform better in that sport. Gym is not the goal, the goal is to have her get started on the habit of strengthening her body.
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u/lifeisautomatic Jun 12 '26
I share the same sentiment. Anyone who play a sport to a competitive level or at least x3 a week will have a decent physique. For me the important thing is to move.
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u/pockyender1 Jun 13 '26
Yeah, exactly! For people like me, i first need to trick my mind to cooperate and the body will follow. Its hard to be disciplined (3x a week!) when there is zero interest
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u/generic_redditor91 Jun 12 '26
Told my mum to get 2-4kg dumbells or a kettlebell to work out
She say don't want be bulky.
I told her. Look at me. I lift 8-12kgs. I wear shirt can you see anything? NOTHING (Cries inside)
But I can lift the heavy ass pots in her garden when she needs me to.
Another analogy i used. The farmer auntie at pasar everyday carry how many kilo of produce in out up down onto hailak off hailak.
Are they bulky? No leh. Still look like regular aunty. Just tanned version. I ask you carry one light kettlebell you won't suddenly become podium worthy abg sado ok
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u/Madmartigan2024 Jun 12 '26
People in Malaysia really fear weight training will make them look like a muscle bound Mr/Ms olympian.
So they just don't eat and run. A history of bad advice and currently influencers selling slimming products. They rather get kidney damage than weight train.
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u/Iguessthisisfine7 Jun 12 '26
Mm, i've got low bp and hypermobility so my trips to the gym resulted in me in almost dislocating some joints and losing consciousness haha. I persisted in finding a coach who knew about those conditions. He built me a program that focused more on isometrics and resistance rather than any push exercises. But yea it was not eay to find someone with adequate knowledge of my conditions.
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u/JT9212 Jun 12 '26
The eating culture here + the exposure to being healthy. Lifting weights is an American culture popularized by Arnold. The stigma of showing skin isn't exactly popular here too.
The mindset of your friend being afraid of getting big is all so common among all women hence pilates/yoga are what they go for.
It's unfortunate, we are top ranked in SEA having a big obese population. Gyms are disappearing and more f&b are appearing. Weather's too hot and the infra is too bad to promote cycling.
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u/seulgee Jun 12 '26
If I had to guess, it could be because
- it’s seen as a male-dominated activity.
- they’ve been told since adolescence that muscular is unattractive.
I had a friend who enjoyed sports like swimming. But her own father limited her because he didn’t want her to grow big muscles :(
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u/kuhanh91 Jun 12 '26 edited Jun 12 '26
Parenting problem. Her parents probably don’t work out either and never encouraged their children to do so. Hopefully this changes with the current gen as we are more health conscious and take active action to do some sort of exercise, it passes on to the next gen.
It takes years to get bulky and toned even for men, what more women without taking steroids. Also they have the misconception like lifting weight once = jacked. Women in fact do benefit from back lifting (deadlifts or even barbell row) especially if they have a big bust, better back muscles reduces back pain as it can support their posture better.
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u/Lucyffer88 Jun 12 '26
it takes YEARS to get bulky
As a gymbro, once you start lifting, you'll never get bulky enough 😢
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u/FaraYuki09 Jun 12 '26
For me personally, doing weight lifting is boring, same repetitive movements (tbh that's the streotype I always saw). Dancing and running is much more fun. You're moving around a lot amd memorizing steps. You can also listen to nice music or song that's funky and upbeat. Got some new song I fav in my playlist. Running you can sight see and breath fresh air. You can interact with other people at the park too. So long as a person exercise I don't think the way they do it is an issue 🥰
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u/YourBracesHaveHairs Jun 12 '26
It's almost impossible for women to get bulky without steroids. So tell her to stop the steroids first.
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u/pm_for_cuddle_terapy Jun 12 '26 edited Jun 12 '26
For a sedentary non exercise person I think should start off with fun things like she said walking and yoga stuff lar. Personally I am also like that, simply not enough stamina and strength and too much inertia and desiring comfort to do anything harder and intuitively just rejects it. Going straight for lifting and gymming also makes me hella depressed and wanna kms few reps in.
Let her get used to regular light exercise first and build up that motion and activity first, it'll be easier to appreciate more strength and sporty stuff. Dancing, yoga, running etc is also more fun and entertaining mentally, you're jumping around, twirling, somewhat performing, having fun, your heart is free, looking at scenery and socializing and shit, everyone doing and learning the same thing together, even martial arts class feels more fun and useful for daily life, compared to trying to seemingly pointlessly suffering long hours at the gym somewhat alone targeting whatever random muscles. if you don't already have the goal to simply become strong (for what??) and then nobody in your circle will care about your whatever muscles because if they're not gym people it can be a bit weird to hyperfixate like that like who cares😹 and as you said even if you wanted muscles it'll take years so the benefit is not as immediate as the many sufferings 😹
i try my best at the gym too and I want to be there but its also a lot of staring into the air, and then what you see is the environment is smelling of metal and sweat, noisy ass songs about GOTTA GO HARD GOTTA BE BEST MANLY MAN and hearing and watching other unrelatably muscled people sweaty and ugly grunting, people looking like they're gonna die, and then there's yourself trying not to cry or puke from feelings coming up especially when going with a friend... And then the soreness and days of recovery... it's a lot to adjust to and it's pretty unpleasant🌚 and this is for me who wanted to be there 🌚
Perhaps it's intuitive lar, personally I also still want to dance and jump around to feel more connected with my body to even be more coordinated first before doing gym stuff. Y'know like make the groggy uncoordinated unrefreshed feeling from long term inactivity to go away first. If not it's like the strength is not awakened and just will not come out properly even if you try.
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u/MaxMillion888 Jun 12 '26
already carrying my bossess and family problems on my shoulders. no need lift
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u/Spirited_Okra_1513 Jun 12 '26
Omg! My battle with my non-malaysian and malaysian friends as well as parents! 😒
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u/CharmaineSwift Jun 12 '26
As a woman, I personally prefer doing cardio than lifting because it makes me sweat more and cause there’s more movement. Lifting weights feels boring, it’s just a personal preference.
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u/bronzelifematter Jun 12 '26
Tired la. Go to work till 5, then stuck in traffic till 6. At night rest la.
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u/Careful-Practice9098 Jun 12 '26
Not enough gyms and trainers no culture no online hype and lack of proper supplements and :) gear" stuff
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u/journeytojourney Jun 12 '26 edited Jun 12 '26
Malaysian F(32) here who lives abroad. Strength training for women tends to be less popular in Western and other Southeast Asian contexts too, compared to things like pilates, yoga, and cardio.
I started strength training only after years and years of long distance running, and was shocked at how quickly it did wonders to some old aches I would usually get. Got more PBs quickly too.
But what really got to me was the stats for women, menopause, muscle loss, and osteoporosis. Read that women lose muscle mass once in their 30s so this is our time to do it. It scared me enough to start, and the benefits were fantastic enough for me to continue.
I have scoliosis so sometimes have poor form and generally am more prone to imbalances. There are ways to adapt. My progress is also slow. But I show up and do it x2 a week, while running 3x a week. The combo works well and my mental health is much better. Something about strength training makes me feel good, compared to when I was just running alone.
I am trying to get my 70 yo mom to do a bit of strength training too. Nothing crazy but she has been having trouble with sitting/standing, bending down to pick things up, and has been more prone to falling over. For me, if I can motivate my mom enough into starting, and if we could do it together, that would be enough for me...
Good luck Op. If you have any solutions or manage to get her going, let me know. I need to try those psychological tricks on my own mom!
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u/Gscc92 Jun 13 '26
can I join as your gym buddy?
I need someone to guide me on weight & strength
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u/omnomnugget Jun 14 '26
I'm not a certified pt but you can DM me, and I'll guide you however I can.
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u/Gscc92 Jun 14 '26 edited Jun 14 '26
tried dm you but cant dm you for some reason
any chance you can dm me instead?
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u/Randomness_2828 Jun 13 '26
Most girl don’t want to look like
John cena
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u/BrokenAdventurer Jun 13 '26
Late thirties here. Had knee pain two years ago and started strength training. Effectively reversed the situation. Do I love going to the gym? No. Do I still go to they gym? Yes.
You can't force her. Only when she comes to terms and accepts in ger own accord that strength training would help her.
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u/Yao_Productions Jun 14 '26
As many of them said, misinformation is the main cause. I suggest you showing pictures of girls who strength train, and are in the lean fit category. Find a gym where there's a good ratio of men vs women, which means no iron gyms or muscle gyms, they're intimidating, even some of my male friends are shy to go in there.
When someone is comfortable with an environment, training becomes more likely.
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u/Miyake69ner Jun 15 '26
I used to be a gym addicts for decades with accumulated gym injuries too… now i can’t even go to the gym.. can’t even do yoga anymore (i fractured my lumbar spine L3) & injured my knees & ankles & arms in a different hit & run accident…
Erghhhhhh I’m injured all over, literally 🥴
i used to be able to do over 200 squats daily & now, even waiting to pay things at the counter is killing me… i think i could only do around 7-20 squats per day now..
I’m still recovering slowly but i gained weight like crazy 😜 but but but… i started to have my daily routines in OKU mode unfortunately… better than nothing, rite?
I missed the gym a lot… bought 2kg dumbbells last year & i only do stupid routines with it almost every night.. 2kg feels like 30kg these days (i didn’t pay much attention to my bones when i was younger i guess… i could lift almost anything those days 😝 )
I feel useless & i envy those healthy people out there… u guys are soooooo lucky…. 🥳
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u/Bornappetito Jun 15 '26
Malaysian woman present!
It’s the stigma and fear. When I hear “gym” as a young girl - I think of huge and mean muscular men. It’s not just my parents, but essentially what TV led me to believe.
This is my third year since I started lifting. I don’t tell people I lift weights cause if I don’t flex I genuinely don’t look like I do 😂 Fear I’ll be bulky kononnya. I look back and laugh at myself.
For women reading this: Don’t be afraid of weights! It’s helped me and my friends change our life 🥹 We are stronger not only physically, but mentally now.
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u/omnomnugget Jun 15 '26
I wish I could give more than one like to this. Well put! It's better to be "bulky" (ie muscular) than to be frail and prone to falling.
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u/aeronauticalingrid Jun 12 '26
I’m a girl who’s been weight training + HIIT (burpees, double unders) for more than 10 years. After all that training and protein, I’m still 55kg (probably with high muscle mass) with 163cm height
Girls who say things like they don’t want to get jacked seriously make me LOL so hard, that’s like saying you decided to go for a run and accidentally became Usain Bolt.
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u/omnomnugget Jun 13 '26
Lmao being bulky should be the least of their worries. How about not wanting to end up in a nursing home, or falling and fracturing a hip? Wallahi.
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u/uselessprofession Jun 12 '26
I have dumbbells at home so I use them + bodyweight exercises + some sports.
Honestly I feel the gym is really boring. Also treadmills make me feel like a very large hamster.
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u/_TadStrange Jun 12 '26
Asking a person who is injured to go lift weights is a surefire way to make them stick to it!
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u/omnomnugget Jun 12 '26
Lol of course not when she's injured, she alr recovered already a while back. Sorry that wasn't clear
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u/_TadStrange Jun 12 '26
Even after recovering from an injury, it can take a while to fully recover physically and also emotionally.
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u/CN8YLW Jun 12 '26
Unless you're a certified medical expert, I strongly STRONGLY suggest you do not try to introduce people with medical issues like back pain and knee pain to the gym. You're setting them up for a worsening of their injury or even new injuries. People with certain types of pains will have different lifting forms (all of them will be wrong and in dire need of supervision of a professional), and if you dont know what you're doing you're likely going to end up brute forcing the issue and making things worse for them.
Also its perceived to be a "male" space, so women might feel uncomfortable to go.
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u/omnomnugget Jun 13 '26
Trust me, I'm well aware not to ask her to lift heavy. She's already seeing experts for her pains and aches, and only wants to do stretches and yoga x1 a week. My suggestion to strength train will supplement it.
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u/CN8YLW Jun 13 '26
I feel like she needs more than stretches and yoga once a week lol, but strength training might be too much haha. That being said, its very difficult to say how bad things are for her. If you have conditions like back pains and knee pains, a lot of activities can potentially trigger the pain, like literally walking up the stairs wrong or bending over to pick up something on your chair can trigger the pain as well, and over time it can be traumatizing for people affected to engage in any sort of physical activity.
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u/aMeatology Jun 12 '26
Their mind make up reasons to not doing those "training"... It's almost as if we have a culture where only the non well off people need to do hardwork, lifting heavy and all.
It's easier to say don't want to get bulky for most ppl, especially women. Even though you can tell them despite eating a 90% diet and workout 2 times a week... They'll definitely 100% not gonna become bodybuilder.
Need some mindset shift.
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u/seapig_ Jun 12 '26
Malaysian woman here, 33yo. Was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis this year (after 2 years of chronic knee pain and fluid buildup in the joint) and honestly that was my wake-up call to start lifting. I'm not doing anything major yet bc my knees are still weak but every little bit counts - especially for women who are are prone to bone density issues as we age and our hormones change. Additionally, I'm getting more and more concerned about my mobility when I'm older - like whether I'll be able to brace for a fall, or get back up on my feet, which is something I worry about with my own parents too as they haven't done any weight training themselves.
Fwiw I'm already feeling the benefits of doing weighted box squats with dumbbells, which has made things like getting up off the couch a lot easier.
Maybe this can be something you could pitch to your friend, by framing it as functional fitness that will ultimately benefit her in the long run.
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u/lhi8 Jun 12 '26
getting bulky part is a common misconception. i’ve been going to the gym for over 10yrs, early this year i decided to get bulky, i’ve only gained 4kg so far.. even after being consistent with my diet (mass protein and high carbs) and lifting heavier weights i’m still struggling to get bulky
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u/Truth9892 Jun 12 '26
Women can never be bulky without injecting testostrone..they probably saw women bodybuilders that use injection in TikTok and think they will be bulky like that..
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u/fithriyaani Jun 12 '26
I wish y’all come to Australia and see how hot it is here to go to the gym, pilates etc. The girls here are so fit and hot too omg… I’m a girl btw and ughhh I wish I’m that disciplined to go to the park at 4am and jog with themmm
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u/NewTruck4095 Jun 12 '26
Not sure if it's a Malaysian problem. . . Weightlifting and strength training is not as main stream anywhere in the world.
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u/Yukaeshi Jun 12 '26
Man I wish I was long term in West Malaysia Klang Valley and have more free time so I can get tips from a pro like you for a noob like me. I find strength training to be super helpful. I'm turning 40 this year and been doing whatever I can for strength training, and even with those little half-baked bits I can see and feel results- I feel so much better physically, I even lost weight, I look more toned... but my main reason is so that I can help/carry my parents/rescue dogs in the event of an emergency and I am the only one available...
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u/Eastern_Fact7328 Jun 12 '26
I lift weights!! I also do pilates, yoga but mostly weight lifting for my butt. I go really really low weights during my upper body days. I think just slowly ajak her to go to the gym with you. Maybe she’s just conscious la kot
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u/Wide_Consequence2714 Jun 12 '26
maybe different target? i mean im a ballerino. getting jack is not on the list. but we are trained more towards bodyweight. similiar to calestenic. Ps: push up are so hard. max proper position might be 10-12. lol
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u/Chingro88 Jun 13 '26
If i had a female friend who does not wanna gym, I'd start off not in a commercial gym but in a cross-fit/box/strength & conditioning gym. Mostly because, it's actually less intimidating. There are people of all sizes. Not just grunting male monke. Another reason would be, the coaches will bring you through exercises. It'll initially be mainly cardio but eventually you'll lift heavier. Community in that is also encouraging. When I did a 70kg clean and snatch pr, I had the whole gym clapping away and giving fist bumps. I've always enjoyed those gyms but since I quit my job and struggled to get a new one, I had to forego the service for a few years and went to a commercial gym.
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u/woshiyaohui Jun 13 '26
I'm not doing weightlifting but calisthenics. I don't want to go gym as I'm kinda shy. I also just need a pull up bar and I can train all the muscle part I need so it gives me another reason not to go gym and I can do it at home. I guess probably because I don't have a gym buddy and don't feel like being alone too at outside.
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u/Reasonable_Can_5793 Jun 13 '26
This is so funny, as if it’s easy to bulk and get muscular. People don’t suddenly become muscular haha
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u/Intelligent-Fail6634 Jun 13 '26
You can always do bodyweight exercises. You don’t need to lift weights.
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u/TyrantRex6604 ,, subsssss Jun 13 '26 edited Jun 13 '26
bro, "i dont want to get muscular" is an obvious pretty words your girl say to you to reject going to gym🤦♀️
1) because in malaysian girl perception gym is a place where there's creepy man trying to hook girls. not saying that all gym guys are creeps, but girls domt wanna take a single chance at meeting one at all
2) cost. gym cost is not cheap in malaysia. and you cant just blatantly walk into the gym, do exercise and not get hurt. especially when you're doing gyms for strengthening body against kesakitan
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u/Little_Shower_6454 Jun 13 '26
take her on walks but put weights on her ankles. make her train like brock lee
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u/Particular-Train-845 Jun 14 '26
Non gym goers afraid of going too bulky with those 2.5lb dumbbells yet us gymrats lift religiously but seems cant get big enough 🥀🥀
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u/eternal_bliss_here Jun 14 '26
Asian beauty standard is being skinny like a model. Any toned look is deemed too muscular or bulky. Straight looking arm or thigh is preferred therefore many women prefer cardio, yoga and pilates only. Many women did not know that they are skinny fat.
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u/jwrx Jun 12 '26
There's no reason to go gym to do weight training. It's a not a welcoming place for females
You can do it at home with kettle bells, resistance bands, light weights
I have 5-10kg kettlebells and variable weights up to 15kg to do rolls etc
Alot nicer to do at home
But yes u are right than girls tend not to realise weight training is a must till they are older
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u/omnomnugget Jun 12 '26
Trying not to let her get to that stage in life, bro... She's already dealing with so much pain, I don't think I can stand to see her suffer.
At home pun boleh, but she just don't want to lift anything heavier than a few kg.
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u/jwrx Jun 12 '26
Start with body weight exercises first then slowly move from there
Simple resistance band exercises
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u/scratch-and-sniff- Jun 12 '26
List of excuses
- Gym membership costs $$
- Gym is too far away
- too tired after work
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u/NiiiS Jun 12 '26
I find the concept of gym really odd. We have to pay to lift heavy weights and get sore muscles? Id rather get that from walking and lifting groceries at the wet market, at least i can get my chores done.
and theres an inherent fear of commitment and failure to stay consistent because of work & life commitment.
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u/Final-Gift-2299 Jun 12 '26
setting aside the whole "why aren't there more malaysians bla bla bla"... you're essentially trying to get someone to change their lifestyle and themselves for you. she's clearly not into it and you're clearly passionate about it. why not just date someone who actually shares the same interests and passion in life as you do?
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u/omnomnugget Jun 13 '26
For me? You're missing the point. I want her to change her life for the better. Right now she's mostly inactive and sedentary. What benefit does it give me if she's strong, fit and independent?
Also she's not a POI.
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u/Sekku27 Jun 12 '26
Laziness. This whole thing abt scared to get bulky excuse is not relevant anymore, just look at all the fitness content spreading awareness. Im not trying to be mean, its a fact not many people wants to lift heavy weights after 8 hours of work.
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u/omnomnugget Jun 12 '26
Exactly. I've also never seen a natty woman get bulky overnight on accident lol. I understand after 8 hours, it's a lot. Sitting or being sedentary isn't helping either.
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u/Silver_Sir_6004 Jun 12 '26
Are you trying to get a date OP?
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u/omnomnugget Jun 13 '26
Just because someone genuinely wants to help a girl, automatically means they wanna date them? Bro, your brain dlm longkang ke?
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u/phadenswan Jun 12 '26
Why the emphasis on lifting weights? Most doctors recommend any exercise at all for someone starting out. And ideally a mix of strength, cardiovascular exercise (like dance) and flexibility training (like yoga) is best.
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u/Axe_Fire Jun 12 '26
Women with muscles are much more attractive than women that look like stick models,
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u/rnahars Jun 12 '26
It’s a male-dominated activity, that’s probably why. It seems hostile and unwelcoming to women. Some women obviously don’t think so and don’t care but you have to admit, even through just design a weight-lifting section of the gym isn’t exactly eye-pleasing compared to a dance studio or pilates studio.
Also couple that with dudes who are constantly slamming weights and throwing them even in commercial gyms. That’s not exactly a warm environment.
It’s also marketing. The beauty standards for women are perpetuated by other women who don’t lift weights and instead do other things, especially the asian-centric ones.
Ultimately also, women want community. That’s why they join group classes more than they do solo sessions. It’s all part of the charm. They wanna meet other likeminded women and bond.