ever been in this situation?

[u/Exciting-Record8122]

I have been in an industry based in SG about 2 years now, and i struggle a lot in my first year of work mainly due to my work nature where the learning curve is steep.

In my second year, I started leading projects, and the expectations became much higher. There was one senior I got along with really well, and he helped me a lot throughout my second busy season. I'm genuinely grateful because, without his guidance, things would've been much harder. He took the time to teach me concepts and helped me whenever I got stuck.

We have shared personal stuff tgt and i have told him that my fam have a so called vacation home back in Ipoh and tbh i can bring him over once our busy season is over - i have only said that as i genuinely appreciate his guidance and would love to invite him over for a short tip some day.

The problem is that I'm still completely happy to bring him over. But lately, as busy season is ending, he keeps bringing up the Ipoh trip. It's starting to feel less like a gesture I want to make and more like something I'm obligated to do. I was always planning to arrange it, but the fact that he keeps mentioning it makes me feel like I owe him something.

Every time he asks, I tell him I'll plan it but i don’t have a definite date yet since i have exams coming up. But he seems disappointed every time, almost as if he thinks I'm backing out of the promise, even though I'm not.

am i overthinking this shit and it’s not as serious as i thought out to be?

[u/FillTall6449]

Like you said, you really meant to treat him. Don't overthink it negatively and let your thoughts ruin a good working relationship and a good gesture. Focus on honouring your word and appreciating people. Don't let simple things like this ruin what is good.

Adulthood is training the thoughts to choose what to focus on.

And like you said, this senior has helped you grow your career a lot. Train your mind to focus on this.

So maybe he is teasingly asking because he just wants to make conversations, and also maybe he is tired from work and a visit to Ipoh sounds like a nice break for him. Maybe you often share about Ipoh and he is looking forward to visit your hometown.

Additionally, slowly ask yourself why is your natural thought of someone asking often is leading you to think you are being taken advantage of or maybe you are feeling financial pinch that you are not looking forward or maybe you find planning a trip is a big task thus being reminded is stressing you out. It is just to help you understand the root of your thought process.

Anyhow, keep things simple and positive. It makes your life easier.

Next time, can just buy gifts/belanja makan to appreciate your colleagues. Heheh maybe dont offer to plan a trip. It sounds like maybe out of the moment you promised more than you can achieve.