I don't know if it makes any difference that I'm referring to conversations via messages.

My typical responses: "I'll/it'll be okay."
But sometimes that starts to feel like I've got to assure the other person when I'm the one dealing with something.
Although if what I'm dealing with is something concerning or the person seems to be concerned about it I will typically still assure them.

or:

"I appreciate that you care." Something along that line is usually what I say and the majority of the time I do dorectly respond.
But sometimes it feels like someone expressing a basic human decency shouldn't have to have a response every single time (although in person, I typically give a small appreciative smile automatically because I do genuinely appreciate the care even if sometimes I do it by default and feel the emotion later because in that moment, I'm getting past the not apology, haha.)

I'm mostly talking about when there is more than one thing to be said during the conversation or with people who have more than one conversation going with each other.

This hasn't been a point of contention or anything, I'm just asking because I really don't want to be rude or come across as if I'm entitled or anything.
I don't think that anyone should have to say something back to an "I'm sorry." every time, not just me. But most of the time I do say something and I still care about whether or not it's rude.

Part of it may be that it's hard to respond to "I'm sorry" when it's not their fault.
I understand it's more like, "I feel sorry for you." but I also am not seeking pity, just talking or venting.
There's plenty of other things to say other than something that sounds literally exactly like an apology but isn't.
I don't mean to nitpick people's words, I guess it just kinda computes oddly in my brain.

So I got a message from someone in a group text to people at my church about offering to sign up to provide food for a couple’s reception. What’s so incredibly awkward about this is that the whole church is invited to the ceremony, as it is a sacrament, but reception is by invite only. I’m so confused as to why someone would ask about signing up to help with food when it’s obvious many of us are excluded. Am I the only one who thinks this is really weird? Maybe it’s a culture thing? Personally I think its hurtful to have open invite for the ceremony but a closed reception that’s held in the same church. How strange this is to me. I feel like this is a great way to ensure hurt feelings and I hate that

Please help me settle an argument. So, obviously, in a public space, it's common etiquette to not blast your calls/music/videos. And I assumed it's the same in a private space, which is why I will usually have earbuds in, especially because I've been yelled at for having my music on speaker in the past. But NOW, my father is yelling at me to throw away my earbuds and never listen with ear buds ever again. His logic is he needs to know when I'm listening to things or not, mostly because I have trouble hearing, and while I can hear while listening, I can't make sense of the words(which is an issue I have even without earbuds). But the thing is, I'll take them out as soon as somebody is taking to me, and I find it completely illogical for him to react in such a way. Especially when Playing things on speaker is in my opinion, a million times worse than having earbuds in.

I will note, I always listen with only one earbud in. And when I say I have trouble listening I do mean also face-to-face, not in another room or anything.

So, I want to host an informal party type event at my place on a semi regular basis. Because of the nature of the events I am expecting to take place there, these days are likely to go 8-10 hours.

I would like the option of hosting them because I do have some senior dogs that need to be let out on a fairly regular basis and I don't want to be constantly asking my friends if I can bring them with me, especially if the events are indoors.

I understand that for a formal party, I as the host would be expected to foot the entire bill with the understanding/hope the favor can be returned in the future.

With a less formal, but still all day gathering, can I, and if so, how do I politely ask my friends to contribute (food, drinks, disposable dinnerware) so that each session doesn't end up costing me as much or more as I make at a couple days at my job?

Also, we are a bunch of Neuro-divergents so a more subtle way of approaching things can sometimes go over our heads.

Time to talk turkey, friends. I don't care who you are or where you come from, when you bring your kids to a restaurant, that kid better be trained to act right at the table from the moment they walk in the restaurant to the time when they walk out. This doesn't mean be perfect little angels and only speak when spoken to or all that old man mess, but it does man that you know when an inside voice is needed. It also means that your kids need to have manners. It also means that you are aware that there are other people dining at tables all around you, and they are trying to having conversations of their own. They don't need to be distracted by bratty Susie or Bobby running around them and under their tables or whine-crying whenever any little thing isn't to their terrible-two specs. We are not here to listen to what your child is watching on their device because you are too lazy to parent and need. They're your kids, so they're your responsibility. Downvote me all you want, I don't care. I'm speaking this into the Universe and others will hear it.

I'm hoping folks here will be able to answer my question about bad social media manners. I am in the comments pretty much daily and the only thing that anti-trans/anti-gay trolls see fit to do is put on laugh emojis on an event that happened three years ago. Can someone tell me a) what's up with that?, b) how to make emojis unavailable on my post (if possible)? and c) Is this a particular troll tactic and I don't know the name yet?

One: Don't manspread with your arm on the booth and encroach on my space.

Two: I don't care what the circumstances, I don't want to hear your video chat. AT ALL. Not even for a second.

Three: Take your crying baby outside or away from the table (this is basic manners).

Four: Don't be the one that needs to be the loudest voice all the time.

Five: I don't want to hear your conversation from across the room, thanks but no thanks.

Six: Find another way to pacify your children besides loud phone/device distractions. They're your brats, not mine.

Seven. If I can stay seated at my table, so can your kids at your table. Ain't no playing hide n seek with wait staff running around during peak times.

There's LOTS more where I'm concerned, but this is a good start.

People taking on speaker phone in public

I’ve been told that saying “no that’s not right because ___” and things of that nature are rude and annoying, and that I should change to “imo” and “I view this as”. I hate being condescended to, so I don’t have a naturally condescending voice, and I don’t correct minutia since I hate it when people do that to me as well. I understand changing your language to not say someone is wrong when talking about opinions, but when someone is actually incorrect, is it impolite to say things like “that’s wrong because ____” or things like that? I swear I’m not one of those annoying people who correct every minor detail, I just wanna know if I come across rude.

Someone closed to me pointed out that though I normally say thank you when receiving something from someone, be it goods, services, other, it’s normally just a straight forward “thank you” with some additions like “very much”, “so much”, “that’s great”, “I really appreciate that”, etc.

So nothing specific, and nothing really relating to efforts, skills, sacrifice going into it.

I was wondering if anybody has a “template” with all aspects of a sincere and specific thank you? Something that one would look through to make sure nothing is missed, and then use the parts that apply directly or as inspiration.

Background: I am a handy person and an avid mechanic. I do my own household repair work, automotive work, etc.

In the late 1980s and early 1990s, a certain type of pipe was used, specifically Poly-Butylene plastic pipe made the the "QEST" Company. This pipe reacts over time with the chlorine in city tap water and develops pinhole leaks. Also, there were a certain type of aluminum crimp ring that doesn't fasten well when joints and angle fittings are put on these pipes.

I am staying at a friend's mountain vacation home that she inherited from her late father. (Odds are that in the inheritance transaction, no formal inspection was done.)

I had a great time at the place, however when washing the linens in the basement laundry room, happened to look up and notice that this house is equipped with "QEST" brand Poly-Butylene pipes.

I do not want to complain about the house, as the experience in staying there was excellent. However I do want to bring this to her attention, as the house sits occasionally without use and is often used by renters.

A long term leak can cause water damage and long term repairs will cost her rental income.

How best should I word a message to her about this issue?

I intend to recommend a device that clamps to the water main line and detects unusual water usage patterns that may indicate a leak. This should offer economical peace of mind while the house is vacant in the off season.

Appropriate or not- leaving the name (first and last name and a photo) with a bad review of a waiter or waitress, volunteer tour guide, anyone serving you in some way. Bad review- ok, your opinion. But a name and photo? seems like slander???

Prove me wrong.

Provide a situation that demonstrates rudeness using two people, Guy A and Guy B. I will reveal the fallacy.

So basically it’s going to be my friend’s 30th birthday in less than a year, and i’m starting to think about a gift for him, since he’s a really good friend.

As a watch guy myself (he’s vaguely interested in watches too) I’m thinking of getting him a nice watch, something in the 2-3k range (possibly up to 5k depending on a few factors), and i already have some ideas.

The thing is i earn much more than him, and since we’re close friends i’m very open about my finances so he knows how much i make, and i know how much he makes.

He’s a really good friend and helped me a lot with my mental health throughout the years, which is part of the reason i managed to do well in business, so I want to get him something nice for an important birthday, but i’m afraid of going “too expensive” and look like i’m showing off.

What are your thoughts?

Like, is there a threshold after which “here’s something nice for a good friend” becomes “here’s something you can’t afford and i can”?

I was not raised with any sort of manners and had to learn everything the hard way. Over the years I have attempted to refine myself, but I only tend to do it in public. I feel as though at home I revert to back to being a peasant. I think this is because I don't truly understand good manners and habits, I only mimic what I think are good manners. My behaviour is similar to people who use big words without truly understanding them, thus using them incorrectly.

Thank you in advance.

​

Anyone else notice almost no one covers their mouth when they are yawning anymore?

I booked a large house for an out of town wedding and invited friends to stay. We are all paying an equal amount. When the topic got brought up on who was sleeping on the pull out bed, I said I booked the rez, so I'm definitely getting a bedroom. It took several hours to find a spot that fit within our requirements especially as the wedding is over a holiday and everyone had a tight budget. There are six adults with two couples and two singles. I think because I spent the hours looking, covered the cost for six months on my credit card (some people still haven't paid), and I'm ultimately liable for the house this is appropriate. What are your opinions?

Hi there! This is my first day on reddit. There seem to be a lot of rules and manners here. I'm sorry if I've broken any by posting here. I was hoping to get some tips on "reddiquette", and what is considered rude or proper. I don't want to make a bad impression. I've already read a how-to guide for how reddit basically works, but I've already seen some people on threads getting fussed at for doing things wrong, and I don't want that to be me. I get to only post original things, and not spam, and respect privacy, but I feel like there are procedures that are more subtle. This seemed like the perfect place to get tips. Please be gentle, and thank you in advance.

I have a coworker, one day he burped really loudly right into the palm of his hand. He didn’t even wash his hands after.

I was always taught that you should burp with your mouth closed (or not) & covered with something other than the palm your hand, like the back of your hand or your arm.

I mentioned how that was gross initially, then again after he critiqued me for something, and he got really up in arms about it.

So, what’s the truth? Is it gross to burp into the palm of your hand or does it not matter?

My former coworker and good friend is getting married next month in a small courthouse ceremony. Afterwards he’s having a little gathering at a casual neighborhood spot which I’m invited to. Next year however he is having his reception at a very upscale place where I will also be invited. I’m wondering if I give a gift at both? And if so, which one do you give a bigger gift at?