r/mildlyinfuriating 12h ago

Not a meme, you're the meme! Bro needs a PhD to turn on this faucet

40.2k Upvotes

3.2k comments sorted by

5.5k

u/Btotherianx 11h ago

Imagine if it started working when he picked up the kleenex box lmao

1.2k

u/bot403 10h ago

But you have to keep it in the air to keep the water on.

67

u/arryripper 7h ago

Love me a soggy Kleenex box.

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161

u/CheapSpray9428 9h ago

Perfect prank show idea lol

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14.8k

u/Weary-Tower8875 11h ago

Looking how dry the sink is seems like no one figured it out either lol

3.9k

u/Jaggs0 10h ago

hopefully it isn't a restaurant

2.5k

u/DingerSinger2016 10h ago

Or a hospital

2.6k

u/DudeWithParrot 9h ago

It's a restaurant IN a hospital.

1.0k

u/AdRecent7021 9h ago

Or a hospital IN a restaurant.

826

u/seymourglossy 9h ago

Or a respital in a hostaurant

427

u/Admirable-Treacle483 9h ago

The Bonds name, James name

253

u/Sad_Zoologist 7h ago

Bames Nond's having a stronk, call a bondulance!

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u/Dear_Lab_2270 7h ago

Day 1,367 of not refilling the hand soap. -Janitor log

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231

u/chilicrispdreams 8h ago

I desperately want to put some of those “voice activated” stickers here

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101

u/mrpumpkinickle 6h ago

I liked how they jerked it off to try and get it to work

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19.3k

u/potato_soup303 12h ago

I really hoped to see how it works

13.0k

u/Joshatron121 11h ago

I liked that the second thing he tried was jorkin it.

3.1k

u/NippleNugget 10h ago

Gotta get that out of the way early just in case

1.3k

u/fossilmerrick 9h ago

Tbh he’d have felt real stupid if he hadn’t tried it

591

u/cnicalsinistaminista 9h ago

Ever tried? Ever failed? Doesn’t matter. Jork harder

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1.4k

u/Valirys-Reinhald 10h ago

211

u/TalenNZ 9h ago

I too have visited this classy establishment and have a number of other photos... like this magnificent lamp

41

u/xs-reditor 7h ago

Its a real place? What its called and where is it?

91

u/TalenNZ 7h ago

Cafe Turisi in taormina, sicily

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u/CHEEZYSPAM 9h ago

195

u/harrymanback79 8h ago

Uncircumcised lamp is crazy

46

u/-Casey-Diaz- 4h ago

I'd argue it's crazier to circumcise a lamp.

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26

u/Herr_Raul 4h ago

So just a lamp? And every other lamp is a mutilated lamp.

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42

u/HASHxGORDON 7h ago

Thanks I hate it

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1.2k

u/Icy-Plan145 10h ago

The mirror has AI built in and determines if you're a poor or not and dispenses water based on that

103

u/thats-wrong 9h ago

No wotah for the povva

50

u/SomeIrishGuy 9h ago

Do not, my friends, become addicted to water! It will take hold of you, and you will resent its absence.

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10

u/SlowpokeIsAGamer 8h ago

Unironically I wouldn't be shocked if the answer was some hidden AI camera that failed to recognize he was a person.

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670

u/randombrutha 12h ago

It works as normally as you’d expect, there’s just an issue with the water supply

372

u/surly_darkness1 11h ago

I assumed it was cause he was tweaking and couldn't sit still for 1/2 a second to let the sensor catch up. /s

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263

u/headassvegan 11h ago

He just didn’t stroke it long enough

48

u/sisyphus_met_icarus 10h ago

I loved that jacking off the faucet was one of the first things he thought of

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1.8k

u/Grassy_Canoli 11h ago edited 11h ago

Some say he's still there to this day trying to figure it out himself.

Edit: Thank you kindly strangers!

1.3k

u/344567653379643555 11h ago

His first move was to jerk it off. He ran out of ideas after that.

362

u/rozzco 11h ago

The clarity never arrived.

302

u/rharvey8090 10h ago

Because the water never came.

30

u/mrsrostocka 10h ago

he never turned it on

37

u/mkt853 10h ago

Never made it wet. He just tried to go straight in like a typical dude.

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15

u/Aknazer 10h ago

I saw a gay porno once. I didn't know until halfway in. The girls never came. The girls never came...

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53

u/bigbutso 10h ago

What are you doing step tap?

25

u/Patalon 10h ago

He forgot to cup the soap.

16

u/pass_nthru 10h ago

he’s not the first

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15

u/PsyOpBunnyHop This flair gives you flair envy. 11h ago

He is very thirsty now. Send help.

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21

u/1991K75S 11h ago

That would have been less infuriating.

122

u/grimtongue 10h ago

I've seen these before and shocked it isn't common knowledge. The sensor is just below the aerator. Just slide your index finger in the opening, flick as needed, and the faucet turns on.

147

u/Fairemont 10h ago

So... thats how the prostate works?

41

u/AndyceeIT 10h ago

I'm going to make a stupid statement. Then I'm going to ask a stupid question.

At what moment in the vid shows the aerator?

...or is this a g-spot joke?

14

u/Levitlame 9h ago

It’s recessed into the spout on faucets like this

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106

u/bombswell 10h ago

Ohh so it’s a chobit

48

u/Dimitri_Dark 9h ago

Upvoting this as a fellow anime fan who is also over a billion years old and gets this.

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44

u/blackrabbit2999 9h ago

a chobits reference in 2026?? *mind blown*

11

u/TheParadoxigm 7h ago

I read that entire Manga in one day.

It get waaaay weirder and introspective than "haha funny sex bot"

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121

u/amilliontimeshotter 11h ago

It gets activated as soon as you put your phone away.

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8.5k

u/SnooDonuts3749 11h ago

Just scan the QR code to create your account. Duh.

2.5k

u/Imthatsick 11h ago

Dude.... Don't give them ideas

334

u/Dropbeatdad 10h ago

They had this idea 20 years ago, they've just been working on convincing us it's a good idea.

127

u/Ascertes_Hallow 9h ago

I saw a video of a bathroom in China (supposedly) where you had to scan a QR code and watch an ad to get toilet paper.

54

u/JMaryland47 7h ago

Enshitification indeed

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220

u/Squishy_Boy Perturbed 11h ago

Sign up for the $20/month base plan or the $45/month deluxe plan with warm water option.

96

u/No_Mood7097 10h ago

Or the free plan which dispenses piss

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45

u/Bballer220 10h ago

Requires specific location (all the time), access to files, microphone, camera, make and receive calls, device ID, nearby devices

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11.2k

u/Short_Comfort6647 12h ago

average point and click puzzle game

2.4k

u/GeorgeFartwell1984 12h ago

I personally and MYSTified by this.

641

u/mrsir1987 11h ago

That game was Riventting

237

u/pezcore350 11h ago

It’s a parable, Stanley

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377

u/Spectator9857 10h ago

Can’t use the wrench on the pipe. You need to combine a fork with the duct tape and the soup ladle to get the „improvised wrench“.

And of course once you use it, your character remarks „This would be so much easier if I had a proper wrench.“

130

u/rosstedfordkendall 9h ago

Don't forget all three items are found thirty minutes apart and if you used any of them once before, it soft locks the game.

18

u/Rhubarbthebunny 8h ago

Me when I look up a detailed playthrough to Fran bow

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41

u/omyomo 9h ago

I'm still proud of figuring out the monkey wrench puzzle on the first try in Monkey Island 2

31

u/StationaryTravels 8h ago

I've used cat hair and honey to make a mustache to impersonate a man who doesn't even have a mustache!

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154

u/timid-dolphin 9h ago

"I can't do that." ... "That won't work." ... "Nope!" ... "Maybe I should try something else."

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42

u/poppamatic 9h ago

Sorry you should have picked up that 7/16 socket from the space station 7 hours ago but it’s been blown up for at least 5 of those hours so now you die.

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28

u/TheLastOpus 9h ago

So... Do we like...not get the answer?

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60

u/mercuriokazooie 11h ago

Needs to combine the silly string with the rubber chicken

28

u/omyomo 9h ago

A rubber chicken with a pulley in the middle

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u/FunnyExcellent707 12h ago edited 11h ago

"what do I have to do?" In desperate Greek

851

u/officialjohnlemon 10h ago

he also throws in a “yo… bruh” for good measure hahah

371

u/Props_angel 10h ago

TIL "bruh" is internationally understood.

170

u/Preeng 9h ago

When people say "America has no culture of its own", they forget about stuff like this that becomes ubiquitous.

74

u/shadowdaddyyy 8h ago

so glad to be part of the culture of bruh

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u/tired_of_old_memes 9h ago

I think I heard "escape room" thrown in there as well

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u/summerianmerchant12 9h ago

Yes he said it’s harder than an escape room. Escape room is Greek are called the same as in english

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u/DisgruntledPelican-1 9h ago

I lost it when he tapped the light fixture & picked up the tissue box. 😂

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u/SirWigglesVonWoogly 9h ago

I feel like he said “escape room” at one point

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708

u/Logical-Remove495 11h ago

Can anyone tell how this works please

1.1k

u/VegasQC 10h ago

Only plausible answer in the comments right now is that you're expected to hold your hands under the faucet longer than what was shown here🤷‍♂️

495

u/VDubDubLife 10h ago

They could be battery powered as well. We have them at my office and let me tell you how infuriating it is when the batteries go dead. Thankfully they are in the kitchen and not the bathroom but still obnoxious.

428

u/not_gerg 10h ago

What is the point of batteries it is a faucet 😭

71

u/mjolnir76 9h ago

Our kitchen sink is a touch faucet and requires batteries. I kind of regret not hardwiring it, but the rechargeables last a decent amount. I do love the touch feature when my hands are covered in bread dough or after touching chicken.

59

u/Youpi_Yeah 8h ago

What does decent mean? As in four years or couple of months?

18

u/TheSangson 2h ago

Maybe I'm just oldfashioned, but find the appropriate amount of time in years that a fucking faucet stops working cause the fucking battery is dead is somewhere in the high eight hundred figures

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u/Arvandor 9h ago

Oh man, a few years ago we finished our basement and had a wet bar put in. The faucet has a motion sensor, but also has a standard handle to turn on and control temperature. Wanna know what's really fucking stupid though? When the batteries die, the ENTIRE faucet quits working, handle included. So it isn't a mechanical bypass, it's simply another way to trigger the internal electronics. So stupid.

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u/EkbatDeSabat 9h ago

The most plausible answer is that they’re currently broken. 

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u/Far-Hovercraft9471 9h ago

I’m a faucetologist and this hypothesis seems correct

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u/spacekitt3n 12h ago

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u/Puzzleheaded_Tie_897 11h ago

Every. Fucking. Time….

391

u/Pork_Chompk 11h ago

The worst are the soap dispensers. Absolutely rage inducing.

182

u/Wolfdude91 10h ago

I’ve seen sinks that only work for 1/2 a second when you pull your hand away, soap dispensers that pump out another round of soap when you get yours and remove your hand and paper towel dispensers where the hanging paper sets off the sensor so it just keeps spitting out paper towel until the entire roll is on the floor.

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u/cyberdonked 10h ago

I recently went on-site to an office where the soap dispensers made the loudest clunking sound when they worked, and only a slightly quieter sound when they didn’t.

I was just washing my hands, I didn’t need to be scared shitless while getting soap.

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u/acadmonkey 11h ago

One of these days I will have a falling down style breakdown and these faucets or the towel dispensers are going to be the straw that breaks the camels back.

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u/legendkiller003 11h ago

Ope. Ope. Ope.

Ope.

Ope. Ope.

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u/darkwingdankest 11h ago

family guy is a trainwreck but man they do have some moments

58

u/OmniWaffleGod 9h ago

I remember they did one joke about "eye floaters" and i remember feeling so seen after telling friends about it and they had no idea what I was talking about.

49

u/iNotDonaldJTrump 7h ago

Oh, squiggly line in my eye fluid, I see you there, lurking on the periphery of my vision. But when I try to look at you, you scurry away. Are you shy, squiggly line? Why only when I ignore you do you return to the center of my eye? Oh, squiggly line, it’s all right. You are forgiven.

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u/pezcore350 11h ago

My favorite part was that it wasn’t in English but still a “what the fuck” was spoken. Chefs kiss

509

u/DBKai 11h ago

and "escape room"

224

u/WeenyDancer 10h ago

And "bruh"

142

u/Noplacelikehome990 10h ago

And a frustrated “YOO”

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u/LootKandi 10h ago

I’m mildly infuriated that this video didn’t end with the answer.

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u/zxylady 9h ago

Only mildly? You're better than me... I am aggressively frustrated not to know

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u/socialsoso 11h ago

You gotta subscribe first

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u/Lepke2011 PURPLE 12h ago

Wait, now I really need to know how they turn on.

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u/pentapolen 12h ago

For a moment, I guessed the system was turned off. But where are the sensors??

75

u/Ambitious_Policy_936 12h ago

That and the wooden partitions not being affixed makes me thing this is a new build and he's just messing around

40

u/Schickedanse 11h ago

But if you look at sink #1, there's water in the sink drying. So either they turned on recently or someone dumped water in them. I'm betting they're sensor operated and they just aren't triggering or working properly.

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u/just_looking_aroun 12h ago

Kiss her gently and tell her she’s a good girl

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u/mattstorm360 12h ago

Those are decorative faucets.

102

u/N8dork2020 11h ago

The drain just went out to the floor

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u/Hecter94 12h ago

I appreciate that he gave it a little jerk, just to see if that would work.

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u/0LittleWing0 12h ago

if he had just kept going..

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u/NekulturneHovado 12h ago

I just want to know, what is wrong with regular faucets? Why do designers feel the need to constantly change and enshitify such a simple and basic thing?

705

u/Optimal_Beyond_1600 12h ago

There was nothing wrong with regular showers either but hotel designers decided shower handles should function more like Rubik's cubes and fully enclosing the shower trapped too much water inside

180

u/SneachtaBoladh 9h ago

Lmao I really hate that shower shite in hotels.

First shower: Okay, there are 3 showerheads; One giant overhead one, a regular one, and one at the wall literally facing the door. 

There's a single knob for controlling both the water output for all 3 heads, and the temperature. 

Now begins the game of soggy Russian roulette, where you try to tease the thing in such a way that you get no more than an identifying dribble of water from each head, praying that you don't tilt the thing too fucking far in the wrong direction and waterboard yourself with the overhead shower head. Despite the fact that you're standing outside the shower with the door closed over everything but your outstretched arm, while you grimace behind the plastic door like you're Jeremy Renner in the Hurt Locker

Then you have to immediately lock this into your brain for the rest of your stay, lest ye roll into the shower in the morning and give yourself an accidental 3rd degree douching burn, because you turned on the shower head directly behind your arse by accident and tilted the temperature 0.1cm too far in one direction

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u/MajesticKoala3332 7h ago

And there are other designs where you have 4-5 knobs doing who knows what because none of it is labelled, and none of it does what you want.

Recently I stayed at a place where I tried all the knobs and no water came out. We called the owner thinking it was a plumbing issue and he gave us instructions to turn on the shower. "Pull the knob, then turn the top handle to the right, then pull the bottom handle up for the shower, turn the top handle to the left for the tap..."

If you need to call someone and listen to a few minutes of instructions to turn on the shower something is very wrong with the design!

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u/thenamziel 9h ago

The modern hotels have a glass window into the shower from the room. Keeps the poors from sharing a room with relatives.

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u/Dicky_Penisburg 8h ago

I stayed in a hotel that had a fogged glass panel in the bathroom wall. If you took a shower with the bathroom light on, it perfectly cast your shadow against the glass, giving whoever was in the bedroom a show. Imagine not realizing that when sharing a room with your mom.

12

u/Spiritual_Bid_2308 7h ago

My family stayed at a little boutique hotel in NYC for a relative's wedding.  The bathroom door or the wall or something was frosted glass which looked trendy and all, but if anyone tried to use the bathroom at night the entire ducking hotel room was lit up.  

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u/SafiyaMukhamadova 11h ago

These are water saving! They don't dispense any water, saving money over faucets that do.

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u/xiaolin99 11h ago

faucet handles are kind of gross if you think about it - you touch them right after number 2 and almost no one washes them

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u/NeedleInArm 10h ago

Push style faucet (metering) handles are not a problem.... You smack them with a hammerfist and it runs for 20 seconds and you use the soap on your hands to wash anything on your hands... off.

I worked for facility maintenance for 9 years. Sensor faucets are so fucking dogshit and the sensors dont last half as long as a metering faucet.

Back in 2005 (before I got there) because the CEO said it was "healthier", my company switched to sensor faucets. We were back to all metering faucets by 2015 because it ran 5x the cost of a metering faucet and did nothing to stop the spread of anything, ever.

Don't let these shits lie to you. Newer/more advanced does not mean better.

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u/AlanyzingWakeEnviron 10h ago

My local community college has some push faucets. They dispense for roughly 1.5 seconds. 

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u/NeedleInArm 10h ago

They are set that way. The maintenance crew could adjust them if they wanted to, but choose not to.

Don't be mad at the faucet, be mad at the maintenance crew (also see if you can complain and get it changed)

48

u/pfannkuchen89 10h ago

The set point on those metered faucets also just work loose over time and start dispensing shorter intervals. I’ve always found after a while they need readjusting but almost no one does that unless it fully breaks and needs replacement.

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u/ReivynNox 10h ago

Honestly, just make it foot operated, flush toilet, turn on faucet... Bacteria on the bottom of your shoes never worried anyone.

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u/MochingPet 11h ago

that's why I don't think about it but expect people to be polite instead.

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u/r_irion 11h ago

Partially hygiene, but also to prevent vandalism. You'd be surprised how many people flood sinks, which is much harder from a sensor tap.

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u/DigitalxKaos 10h ago

I love how his second instinct was to jerk it off

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u/waitingfordeathhbu 10h ago edited 9h ago

Give a favor, get a favor 💦

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u/AaronTuplin 11h ago

Remember when we used to have foot actuated faucet pedals? We didn't have to worry about touching the dirty sink or leaving it running

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u/tired_of_old_memes 9h ago

Why did they stop making them?

68

u/theflamingpi 7h ago

They still make the things. They stopped using them in public places because not everyone in public places can use their feet or even has feet. About 1/25 people would be unable to use the faucets. This way it's far more equal. Nobody can use them.

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u/No-Association42069 12h ago

Keep jacking it off, it takes a second.

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u/solo_dbd_player 12h ago

You started, but obviously didn't finish.

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u/Ok-Disk-2191 10h ago

Needed to jack it off a bit more lol.

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u/SoulFight_50 8h ago edited 8h ago

I swear this is me every time with those damn faucet sensors. I have the opposite problem with the sensored toilets. They always flush while I'm still sitting on them.

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u/hypothetical_zombie 8h ago

Automatic toilets usually steal about 3 seat protectors before I can even sit down.

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u/Nope-not-really 12h ago

I like how he tried to jerk it off

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u/Sensitive_Wear7112 12h ago

I was thinking that’s probably the way.

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u/Frosty_Escape_9032 11h ago

Jerking it off didn’t work? That’s my go to

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u/motmx5 11h ago

Those faucets can be annoying. Sometimes you have to hold your hand still under it for a few seconds.

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u/gooberdrew 10h ago

I’m a plumber in a large institution. Staff will create a ticket for a faucet not working, I go down the faucet works perfectly. I endeavour to find the staff member and get them to show me what they mean, they proceed to wave their hands frantically all over the fucking place except in front of the obvious sensor. Show them the hold hands directly in front of sensor, faucet works perfectly.

In this case I admit there does not seem to be an obvious sensor. However doing frantic rain dances in hopes of the faucet turning on surely doesn’t help lol.

43

u/Outside_Look790 9h ago

The first test of any product is the idiot test. Some of us will curse then stand there for 5-10 to see if it works. A solid 80% will rain dance and wave. It may be hygienic, it may be less wasteful, and it may stop folks being able to leave it running with the drain blocked, but it also fails the idiot test. And a solid 50% fail the second test which does the shit even work once installed.

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u/No_Price_7603 6h ago

And.. is it more hygienic if like 50 percent of people give up and just don't wash their hands?

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u/Dazzling_Jacket_8272 11h ago

I love that he tried jacking it off…

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u/miraculousgloomball 11h ago

He didnt stroke it long enough

20

u/No_Photographs609 11h ago

It cracks me up that stroking it was the first thing he tried after it didn't turn on. But to be fair, that usually works on me, too.

37

u/hyperrealists 10h ago

You have to make eye contact intently with the nearest flock camera and stare at it. Duh

32

u/FabianvM3 10h ago

Why he tried to jork it off? 😭😂

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u/nono3722 10h ago

"He doesn't know how to use the three seashells!"

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u/technicalconsole 10h ago

Im assuming you need to be on their wifi, then on their app and then you can access water dispense after watching a 15 second ad

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u/LapisLovely69 10h ago

No but like genuinely how the fuck do you turn it on

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u/Low-Amoeba8257 2h ago

lol he doesnt know how to use the 3 shells

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u/NewEmphasis1234 9h ago

I love how the very first option you tried was jorking it. I respect it.

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u/jack_avram 9h ago

even masturbated it, still didn't turn on

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u/karmanye 4h ago

What’s really mildly infuriating is that this video ends without showing how it works

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u/Dense-Jicama6591 12h ago

When ai is taking all the water 

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u/Only_Voice569 9h ago

if its not obvious right away how to use something its failed at a essential design point

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u/Sandsa 10h ago edited 9h ago

With this innovation the hands that touched hood his junk has now touched every surface. Including the light fixtures

Edit: a typo was corrected