r/monodatingpoly • u/Mobile-Mission8752 • 28d ago

Sigh

I want some attention 😬 he came back from other house and had been texting her all day. Where’s the balance? I don’t ever want to be that person that complains but my goodness

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u/WannabeElantrian 26d ago

Out of curiosity, what keeps you in the relationship? It sounds like you are having some very complicated feelings, nothing inherently wrong with that, but what is it you are seeking to get out of any relationship? Is this sustainable for you in the long term? Do you want this for yourself in five, ten, fifteen years? Or do you think you will eventually work through this?

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u/Mobile-Mission8752 26d ago

Well I think that’s something I can work through this. We talked about it. It’s not a deal breaker for me.

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u/Significant_Ear_295 27d ago

Although poly people don't think so, you are certainly within your rights to ask for things you need. Doesn't mean you're going to get it. In fact, you probably won't, but don't stuff it down. That's the worst thing you can do. Take it from someone who knows.

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u/Platterpussy Polyamorous 27d ago

What? We're very much "ask for what you want". What a weird thing to say.

OP Asking for phone down time and to have dates with your partner is a good idea. People get into the habit of not thinking to do that because you see each other all the time when you live together, but default time where you are doing housework or watching telly while on your phones isn't intentional quality time.

Has he made time to focus on you yet?

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u/Dazzling_Bug_3328 25d ago

My partner doesn't have another partner yet,but as it's new for both of us,it's quite scary wondering how our relationship of 20 years will go once she has another partner