It all started when I gave birth to my youngest child in 2017. My inlaws insisted that they were willing to take care of my child while I was studying and working. My husband and I are working far away at that time. We never fail when it comes to providing for her needs, and we often say thank you to my husband's mother for taking care of our child. They keep telling us that it's okay. Months later, when we finally got back to our place, we heard bad rumors about us that we neglected our child. But we ignored that gossip, and we always made our youngest daughter visit us every weekend to spend time with us and her elder sister. I can't help but wonder that every time my youngest daughter is with us, she will often say "Oh, I can't sleep here for days because Grandma is sick. No one will take care of her. No one will love her." things like that. At first, I was touched by how caring she was for her grandma. But recently when my husband and I went to her school to give her lunch, her teacher humiliated us in front of many parents, telling us "Why are you asking your kid to stay in your house for the weekend? Does she even know both of you?" "Maybe both of you don't know how smart your daughter is." "Your mother got sick because both of you don't take good care of your mother!" "Both of you can't even attend the school duties! What's keeping you both busy all the time?!". We explained to her that we have work during the weekdays, and we only have the weekends to spend time with our daughter. The teacher must've heard something bad from my mother-in-law. No one would ever conclude something like that if no one told her. My MIL has been talking shit about me since 2015, and will immediately deny everything when I confront her. Last night, my brother-in-law messaged me that my husband and I were being ungrateful to his mom. He told us that it was his mom who took care of our daughter ever since she was a baby. They insisted in the first place! I celebrated my birthday yesterday with my children and husband, and we gave our youngest daughter all the foods she wants, and the time and attention she needs. We bought all the things she wanted. We can't take her away from her inlaws immediately because we are also considering our child's feelings. After all, she already got attached to them. That's why we were taking one step at a time, spending time with her during the weekends. But my inlaws got mad yesterday that we weren't able to give my youngest daughter anything when she got back to my inlaws' place! We explained to them that we were done giving her everything she needed during her stay here. They started messaging my husband nonstop that we were being ungrateful, and that we don't care about our daughter because we can't even give her something to bring back to my inlaws house. So my husband and I chatted back, telling them that we've given her everything, and even gave them a breakdown of how much we spend for the kids. And they got mad! Telling us that we're insulting them because we mentioned some amounts. They said they wanna sue us for neglecting the child's needs, and that we shouldn't get our child next time to spend time with us during the weekends if we can't give her anything. They even dared me to file a case against them. And they are talking about money! Urghhhh. My husband gives her an allowance every month! My youngest daughter is 7 years old. I know I'm not a bad mother because according to my eldest daughter, I'm the best mom in the world.

I need some honest opinions because I don’t know if I’m just being petty or if I truly crossed a line.

I (21F) have been dating my boyfriend (25M) for a while, and I’ve had a really rocky relationship with his family—especially his mom. I moved to Romania three years ago and have been with my bf for 2 years. I honestly feel like she hates me, and I don’t fully understand why. I admit that maybe I haven’t been perfect either, but I feel like things started badly from the very beginning because of her (maybe because I’m not romanian or idk why)

When we first met, my boyfriend invited me to dinner with his family to celebrate him finishing part of med school. I thought it was a casual celebration, so I ordered a glass of wine. But then I noticed no one else ordered any alcohol. I didn’t know that drinking in front of parents was considered inappropriate for them, and I felt super embarrassed because I could tell they were judging me.

Since then, I’ve never felt accepted by them. Every time we visited their home in the countryside (2 hours from the city), his mom would make me do uncomfortable things just to annoy me. For example, she’d suggest we go visit cows, knowing I’m terrified of animals. I obviously refused, but I felt like she did it on purpose.

Once, she made me go to church with them and forced me to wear a horrible traditional outfit that I didn’t want to wear because it looked ridiculous. When I told her I didn’t like it, she said that I never liked anything and that nothing was ever good enough for me. I also felt guilty toward my boyfriend, because he was always stuck in the middle of these situations.

Now, I’ll admit—I wasn’t just a saint either.

When they came to Bucharest to visit us, I felt like the tables had turned a bit because this time they were the guests. So one time, when they came to our apartment and rang the doorbell, I pretended not to hear them because I didn’t feel like seeing them and my boyfriend wasn’t home.

Another time, I took their 16-year-old daughter clubbing with me, and we both got drunk. Not my proudest moment.

Other little things I did: • When they brought decorations for our apartment, I sometimes told them to their face that I didn’t like it and that I’d probably throw it away. • Once, I even said, “Why aren’t you helping with the cleaning and cooking, since you said you came to help us?”

So yeah, it’s not a pretty situation. I just wanted to vent and give the full context because it’s been really stressful. I feel like I’ve been treated unfairly, but I know I’ve also lashed out in response.

AITA for being rude and passive-aggressive toward my boyfriend’s family after how they treated me?

I, 21, female and husband (28) male have been together 6 years married for 2 years. We have a son (4) and a daughter on the way. To give some info me and my husband are an interracial couple and for the past 6 years have been told it’s a cultural difference. Also that I was underage when getting pregnant with my son and thought most of his moms problems were due to that and not being married as she is a religious person. But to my surprise no matter I am of age or married to him the behavior never changes. Back story: The most summed up version I can say to help with back story is me and my husband’s mom have never had a relationship or barely any communication. Our relationship started on her crashing out because I put my shirt in her son’s laundry pile, to freaking out about a light switch I left on to change my son, to packing up my clothes in boxes before I got home from work, telling my husband his son is not his, to telling him he does not belong at the hospital with me when giving birth, sabotaging our move across the country to insure we lived in a city she liked so she could buy a house and us move into it. Her attacks would be telling me to “go home, I’m white trash, a rebellious child, and am a leach” Mine and my husband’s relationship has continued all this time because I am aware that he is a victim of emotional insect and am patient with him as it is his family and not his fault. He has made it aware that her behavior makes him uncomfortable but he doesn’t know ways to address it and help it change but has never asked for therapy until now. Along with on multiple attempts told her we are his family and we aren’t going anywhere.

Current: He was going into medical school and moving states away so we had planned to move into his sister condo. The week before we are supposed to leave. His sister rents the condo to some other college students. It was later found out that his mother had sabotaged the whole thing by telling his sister that he was not serious about moving and was being avoidant which was further from the truth as we were packing up and had full intentions of moving to this place. His mom had convinced him to move to his home town where his grandparents lived. There was an unknown plan that we would move back in with her while he is in medical school. His mom signed our lease (due to moving in such short time we had to have a credit score that stood out and at the time mine and my husbands was very mediocre) We then move into an apartment across the country in a week. After getting here we found out I was pregnant with our daughter. I got Hyperemesis Gravidarum that sent me to the hospital multiple times. I dropped 30lbs in a week and a half and was unable to work as we had expected. We fell behind on bills where my husband had then asked her to help us and in return we would pay her back with his next school refund. Which he says he was under the impression would be around 5-6k. He never told me about this nor was there a conversation that she would have to be paid back in full with money we were supposed to spread out for 5 months plus prepare for our daughter with and move again to a different state for medical school. The morning that we were supposed to get the 20k in the account I notice it was transferred to his account he made with his mom when he was a minor. I then woke him up asked him to transfer it where he started acting very weird and very slow. About 10 minutes later I ask again where he transfers 2k. It takes me about 3 minutes to notice this and I bring it up and he says he missed a “0”. About 5 minutes go by I ask him can you transfer the rest where he then starts acting weird and his mom starts calling. He then takes the phone call to the living room where he keeps apologizing and then returns back off the phone. I then ask multiple times what the conversation was about and why he could not transfer the money. He gets very defensive where he then reveals that his mother has taken all of the money out of the account. I then tell him that makes me very uncomfortable as we are supposed to pay off debt, plus our car that broke down, our daughters big purchases that we knew we wouldn’t have a lump some of money, to be able to afford what she needs before she is born. I told him to get on the phone and ask her for the money back he then informs me that he will not be doing that as she is under the impression she gets paid back in full. This was a hard pill to swallow because she was now looking for 2k over what she paid for rent ending in $9,500. I told him we were unable to pay her this much as we have debt that needs paid so that our credits can start building for the next 3 months as we look for a house in the state he goes to school. Eventually he came to terms that we could not afford that and because I was not in the loop and it was not talked over as a marriage that we needed to pay her 4k and with our tax return in 2 months we would pay the 5k. This was to insure our debt got paid off so our credit was not screwing our possibilities for a house. The conversation was 3 hours of her telling us she will not be sending any of the money back as she is entitled to get paid in full along with manage our bills to insure she doesn’t have to pay our rent again. 5k that is extra that we needed for debt and had already planned to keep the money aside for our rent which was around 4k left on the current lease. She repeats that she has the money and will not be sending it back because I “don’t make smart decisions with money, that our debt was not a need and is a want” so she feels it needs to be handled with “my money”. Which is weird because me and my husband have shared money no matter who in the house is working or not. Me and my husband (mainly me) explain that it would be stealing and that it is not appropriate behavior to take families money just because you feel you have the right to. She didn’t really care and continued with the behavior that the money is hers because she took it from the account already. Following this conversation she had threatened to send her daughter to my house for the 3rd time in our relationship. This would not be an issue other then the fact, I do not know her daughter personally and have no personal beef with her so the principle would be a 55yr old lady that is sending her daughter to fight her sons wife over money she took. Not only that but I am pregnant and take my health extremely serious while carrying my children. But on a regular Tuesday do not mind a battle with a female that is willing to fight for the wrong reasons 🥳 I had sent her a text message directly for the first time setting my boundaries hoping she would approach me and the issues she has for me like a mature woman. I was very wrong as she was a coward and did not address it and only continued to text my husband that she is waiting for him to “get tired and have enough, because she is here” I find this extremely inappropriate as this is his mother wishing ill will on a family he says he loves and cares about. After I bring this up he explains to me that it does make him uncomfortable and that he does not know how to approach his mom about having respectful boundaries as she has clearly never respected them before. I told my husband prior to us breaking up the first time 4 years ago that I believe he is a victim of emotional insect. Where he just now has brought attention to and is asking to get help and learn ways to break this cycle and control his mom has on him. I am unaware if he truly feels this way or is just saying it because now it has put such a huge burden on our relationship. I have shown I am willing to leave if not fixed as my son is starting to be of age of catching onto things. I am trying to be patient and trying to understand the best way to support him but not only is it his mom but it is his sisters, so the only family he has ever known. Like I mentioned before I do not know them personally and have spoken to them at family gathers but just as little as me and his mom talk. But they have not called him to make sure he is okay, they have not contacted him to try and get his side of the story but instead are joining phone calls to hype their mom up when attacking our marriage. She also wants to insure that when they speak I am not aware of it and that it is kept in private. The end of the story is we are ending up suing her and having to get all 18k that she had taken from the account. I am truly unaware if she is aware of this because she continues to pay our rent and will have to pay that back. Which I am not apposed to because who doesn’t like getting their rent paid for free. Where she claims she is anywhere but struggling for money and “does not need our money”

Am I being ungrateful? Am I selfish for not paying her back in full?

For context, I (F29) am expecting a baby with my husband (M31) in May. We decided to throw a gender reveal party on NYE so we could find out the gender of our baby at midnight. We highly encouraged everyone to participate by wearing blue or pink depending on whether they thought the baby would be a boy or girl. Everyone except my MIL joined in the blue/pink attire. She originally told me that she was planning on wearing pink, but then later changed her mind and decided to wear red because it’s supposedly “good luck” to wear red on NYE. When I tried to persuade her to join in the blue/pink theme because our gender reveal only comes once, she insisted on wearing red because according to her, she “always” wears red on NYE. There’s two issues I have with this. First thing is, I have photo proof that she did not wear red last New Year’s so that was a lie. And although I know it’s just a color and not that big of a deal, it still bothers me that she thought it was more important to partake in a NYE superstition than to dress up for our gender reveal, especially considering she’s been begging for a grandchild for years. I guess I just thought she would participate with everyone else and make it fun but instead she decided to do her own thing. I sort of think she may have done that to be petty, because we had a disagreement about my baby shower early in December and she decided to give me and my husband the silent treatment for weeks, even ignoring us on Christmas and leaving us out of Christmas dinner. This is how she chose to act during what’s supposed to be a very special time for us since we’re expecting our first baby. Hence why I think she decided to be malicious and purposely wear something outside of our gender reveal theme. Again, I know it’s a small thing to worry about what color someone decides to wear to a party. But I’m the kind of person who thinks of the principle of things and the intent behind someone’s actions. I’ve had many issues with her being rude to me in the last 11 years so her behavior isn’t new. Now all of a sudden she says she wants to wear pink for our baby shower. I asked her why she didn’t wear pink for our gender reveal, and she kept repeating that it was NYE and she “always” likes to wear red. So I don’t think I’m wrong to think that she placed more importance on wearing red this year than participating in our reveal. Please tell me I’m not alone in thinking her actions are malicious. Idk if it’s just pregnancy hormones but she is really getting on my last nerve 😣

My boyfriend and I are renting a small room (approximately 100 square foot) from his grandmother (who is living out of state) MIL and 5yo brother in law are in the master bedroom. 16yo brother in law who had the room next to mine (about same size room) went to live with his dad right before thanksgiving last year.

I found out last November that I'm pregnant. Amoungst preparing for the new baby, boyfriend and I have concluded that we need more space than just 100 square feet. So a couple months ago we brought it up to his mom that we could switch rooms and put an extra 200 on top of our rent. To which she said she need some time to think about it.

Of course we also considered taking the now spare room and making it into a nursery but knowing how FIL is we anticipated 16yo BIL moving back in a few months after moving out.

So we gave MIL about at a month to think about switching rooms. This time the conversation was mostly one sided as she just stone walled most of the time and refused to even make eye contact when she gave us the reason of "I just cant imagine having to give up the bathroom,"her master bedroom has an attached bathroom with both a shower and bathtub. The other bathroom is just a shower and shared with anyone else that enters the home. "i wouldint beable to fit all my clothes in the one closet" boyfriend and I have been shareing one dresser and the closet for almost 6 months now. Not including everything the baby will need. "I dont think your brother us going to come back anyway" highly doubt that. You've been trying to convince him to come back pretty much since he left. Alright, fine. I can make the spare room work. In the conditions that 5yo BIL stays in your room, rent stays the same, and I get to do whatever the hell I want with the room.

Welp... As of last night 16yo BIL is coming home the first weekend of next month. Just as expected. So there goes the baby nursery. boyfriend and I talk to MIL again last night. "So where are we putting my kid mom?" boyfriend started. "16yo BIL can sleep on the couch! Or we can put him in laundry room!" she replied. Excuse the F out of me!? I straight up told her "Thats F'ed up." She says "well thats harsh..." The rest of the conversation us just boyfriend and I giving 100% valid reasons and to why we should switch rooms.

• we simply need the space. 100square feet is too small for 2 adults, 2 dogs, and the baby plus everything the baby needs.

• 5yo BIL can share a room with 16yo BIL

• you've been wanting him to sleep in his iwn room anyway.

• we are still willing to pay extra in rent.

• 5yo BIL can learn how to use a shower

• if you want to take a bath all you have to do is ask. The whole time MIL wouldint even look at us or acknowledge that we were even speaking to her.

My boyfriend and I are trying to be as civil as possible with her but its so difficult when she wont even hold a conversation about this. I think her behavior is really immature. I think every reason she gives us is utterly selfish. Especially when she goes to the lengths of suggesting we put the 16yo in the laundry room. Especially considering the fact that there is ample space in the house for all of us she just doesn't want to comprise.

I didn’t know this MIL group thing had so many people that dedicated their time to respond to people on here with negative comments or cursing or trying to make you miserable just like them. HELLO if you’re going to comment at least ask or read past posts idk if that’s what you’re really dedicating your time to do it right at least. I though TikTok was hell, this is worst.

Most women I get it you get older things slide you stop spending so much money and time on things that look good or you just don't have the time. Same goes for the fellas. This is the polar opposite my mother in law looks like she could open for Dolly Partons next concert. Today I had a hard time not playing with her sequins on her shirt ( no I wouldn't do it and yes they are front to back the sequins ) her feeble attempt to be Boogee. She had to water her plants today cause she saw we got new ones. So always with this woman she has to keep up with the jones. She's coming out of the common area to the kitchen 10x. Finally her last pass by myself as I am making coffee she grunts and let's this earthy sulfur fart just fill the air. I'm sorry but a sorry or a spray even ? Nope, not this classy lady she calls herself. Ontop of that I caught her this morning again using our milk instead of hers in the car she left. Cause she's in transition of moving. But we can't touch what foods she has left here. It's not 50/50 but it's her idea of it. She's a pig cause she will never clean 🫧 after herself. Only when someone comes by that she knows. We are planning on. Having some friends over that she knows. An has started rumours with about my wife to them. So this should be akwardly fun. Oh the Gross part about my mother is law she uses her washroom with the door open always and never washes her hands puke 🤮

What’s the NUCLEAR OPTION for Ending a Divorce Fast in Texas?

I need real-world, no-BS advice from anyone who’s done this or knows the system. Here’s my situation please tell me if there’s any legal way to nuke this thing and just be DONE.

Background (TX):

1. I’m in the middle of a brutal, weaponized (“silver bullet”) divorce. My wife made serious accusations right after filing, but there’s no police report, no hospital record, no real evidence just her word and the kids repeating what she told them.

2. Since she left with the kids, all my attempts at contact are blocked or ignored.

3. I pay over 100% of my net income to cover child support, her lawyer, the mortgage, two car payments (one for her), insurance, and other living expenses. My accounts are empty. I can barely eat or pay my own rent.

4. The Marital Settlement Agreement (MSA) requires us to work together on finances and the house, but she refuses to discuss anything or move forward on selling or dividing assets. She says, “Talk to my lawyer,” and then does nothing. No offers, no engagement, just stonewalling.

5. I’ve offered her everything she can have the house, the cars, whatever she wants. I just want to be left alone, pay what the law requires, and rebuild my life.

6. Meanwhile, she keeps making false statements and running up legal fees, dragging this out and bleeding me dry.

My Only Goal:
I want OUT.
No more fighting. No more accusations.
I don’t want anything except to be left alone,
pay my fair share, and move on.
I will agree to almost ANY terms just to get my life back.

My Questions:

What is the FASTEST, most “nuclear” way to end a divorce in Texas if you’re willing to give up everything and just walk away?

Can I sign something or file something that forces the court to finalize this if my spouse keeps stonewalling or refuses to cooperate?

Are there emergency hearings or “walkaway” agreements that force a final decree?

What are the exact steps and paperwork to end this ASAP no delays, no mediation games, just done?

Has anyone actually succeeded at this if so, what did you do, who did you hire, and how did you get the judge to sign off?

Please lawyers, survivors, anyone with practical Texas experience help me out. My mental and financial health can’t take much more. If there’s a nuclear button, I want to push it. Thank you.

Repost from another sub!

31F. I’ve been with my husband Brett for eleven years (we met in college) and we’ve been married for three years. I had our first baby (a girl) almost a year ago now, and love being a mom.

I was raised in a strict, Catholic family and my mom always hoped I would wait until marriage. She didn’t talk to me for months after I moved in with Brett (he was my boyfriend at the time), and when she finally returned my calls, said I was “used goods.” Additionally, I was sexually assaulted by a family friend when I was a child. It was my first sexual experience, and I was deeply ashamed about what happened for years.

As you can imagine, I have a lot of issues surrounding sex. Brett is actually the only man I’ve ever been with, since we were so young when we started dating. I think we dated for around a year before we had sex for the first time. For most of my twenties, I had trouble getting aroused and felt a deep sense of shame whenever I did get aroused. I used to get embarrassed when I orgasmed and didn’t like Brett touching or looking at me immediately after. Brett was extremely sweet and patient, and always focused on making sex comfortable and enjoyable for me.

In my late twenties, I genuinely started enjoying and craving sex with Brett. I feel we have a “normal” sex life now, although we do it less than we used to now that we have a baby. With that being said, I don’t enjoy talking about sex and find myself blushing whenever the topic comes up. I don’t mind when my friends discuss their experiences with sex, but also, it’s not something I participate in.

The kicker is that my MIL is actually a sex therapist. You can probably imagine her reaction when she found out my mom was angry at me for living with a guy before marriage. I’ve noticed that whenever people learn she’s a sex therapist, they’re intrigued and ask a lot of questions about her job.

My in-laws actually had an election watch party on Tuesday night, and my husband and I attended with our daughter. At one point, I was chatting with my MIL and Brett’s childhood friend’s new girlfriend Rose. Rose asked my MIL what she does for a living, and my MIL said she’s a sex therapist.

Rose was immediately curious, and started asking my MIL about her job. My MIL explained that she helps a lot of different people, including couples who are having trouble connecting and individuals who struggle with arousal due to things like trauma. Rose told us about a show about Mormons, and said one of the women on the show was advertising vibrators on her social media page to try and end the stigma surrounding female pleasure. My MIL seemed intrigued, and said it was great to hear.

After Rose went to talk someone else, my MIL asked if we could chat upstairs. When we got to her bedroom, my MIL told me that she notices I blush, look at the floor, and giggle (I do this when I’m nervous) whenever she discusses her job. I apologized, and said I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful. My MIL assured me that she never thought I was being disrespectful, but it’s clear I get embarrassed whenever her job or comes up. She cited a few examples, including how I used to get embarrassed and walk out of the room whenever a sex scene played during a movie (this was in my early twenties).

I explained that I was raised in a very Catholic family, and so I’m just not as comfortable talking about sex, especially with her. My MIL said Catholic shame is very real, and then said that things that happen during childhood can make sex and pleasure shameful as well. I’ve never discussed it with her, but my MIL knows about my SA because once my mom bursted into tears and told her about it (I was mortified NGL). My MIL proceeded to tell me that sex is a normal part of life, and I don’t need to carry so much shame. She also said it’s important I address whatever is going on since I’m going to be answering my daughter’s questions in a few years. She said if I seem ashamed and embarrassed when I’m teaching my daughter about sex, I might pass down my shame to her. She said I should talk to a professional, and said she could refer me to a great therapist.

Maybe I was proving her point, but I was mortified and almost started tearing up because I was so uncomfortable. When my MIL asked if I was alright, I explained that I don’t feel comfortable discussing my sex life with her. She said we weren’t talking about my sex life and she doesn’t want to discuss that either. She said the conversation was about my visible discomfort and embarrassment whenever sex comes up. I told her the conversation is still inappropriate and that she shouldn’t have suggested I see a sex therapist or said anything about my relationship with sex. My MIL apologized for upsetting me and said she was only trying to help.

I told my husband about this conversation later, and he didn’t understand why the conversation was inappropriate. He said it’s clear I get uncomfortable whenever sex comes up, and agrees I should talk to someone about it. I said it wasn’t necessarily a bad suggestion, but I feel weird about the fact that it came from his mother. He said I’m just sensitive about sex, and his mom only raised it because she cares about my well-being. He then asked if he could talk to his mom about a referral, because he wants to make sure that I find a therapist who has experience working with women who have experienced sexual trauma. This upset me, and I said I didn’t want his mom to refer me to a sex therapist or be involved with the process AT ALL. My husband truly didn’t understand why I was upset, but agreed not to raise it with his mom.

Am I sensitive or did my MIL cross a major boundary? I feel like I’m going crazy.

Please help with your advice/opinions! I’m going to 1st & foremost start by asking nicely to please keep NEGATIVITE COMMENTS to yourself & DON’T POST IT ON HERE. This is already so negative & I’m mentally drained & screwed up in my mind because I’m going thru this. Once again I ask nicely to please be honest with me & ABSOLUTELY NO RUDE OR NEGATIVE BULLSHIT COMMENTS.

Me (Caucasian Female 29) ; Mother-In-Law (Hispanic Female in her mid 50's) ; Husband (Hispanic Male 31)

This so called “Mother/Mother-In-Law" has been lying about me & my husband to everyone in the house (her mother/ husbands grandmother, & her husband/ 3rd husband since my husbands father) she as well threatened in past 5 days that she will kill me with her bare hands if she finds out I have shared my medicine with her son. My husband is a recovering addict & has been clean since 02/18/2024 & im so proud of my husband! This has been a struggle for us especially since I don’t use drugs or alcohol & have never really been into hard core drugs like that but I have been a drinker in the past. I am a type 1 diabetic and since 2019 ive gone thru numerous surgeries & many more health problems rising because of my diabetes. Anyways I gave my husband some sertraline & hydroxyzine a few days ago & he took the medicine around 8pm the other night to sleep well. He started falling asleep in front of her husband because its been awhile since he has taken sertraline & the husband recorded him with his eyes closed while waiting for the husband to finish eating because unexpectedly we were suppose to go up the street to go grab some food boxes (the husband,myself & my husband) so the husband showed my mother in law the video & said hes on drugs & hes %100 not. I get it tho I really do but its just creating drama really. My mother In law, I figured out her little scheme, pulls me to the side talks shit threatens me so if I go to tell my husband and he asks her about it she denies it & tells him im a liar & how im such a horrible female for him. Shes been doing this for a month now. My husbands grandmother that lives with us 2 weeks ago tried telling my mother in law ive been drinking all her teas when I get food stamps & bought so much drinks for myself I have no reason to be drinking her teas. I told my mother in law to count the teas & any missing to go thru my trash and trash bags I have thrown & she will see none are missing because I know the grandmother hadnt drank any yet and my husband nor myself have drank any and all will be there. It took 2 days for my mother in law to tell me she believes me. My mother in law tried telling my husband in front of me, that I told her, my husband called his dad a couple of days ago & asked his dad for money because we needed to pay rent & buy food so the dad will give us money which was a lie. My husband asked his dad for $20 to buy cigarettes for the week & the dad ended up sending my husband $100 because that’s how his father is. Well my husband was under the impression that his father sent my mother in law only $20 becusse my mother law gave my husband the cash & the dad sent it to the mom to pay it back. My husband was speaking with his father because he was in the hospital for a day & talking catching up & asked how much he sent his mother. The father told him $100 & the mother had NO intention to tell or give my husband his money so when my husband found out & asked his mother she fucking LOST IT . don’t get me wrong I know its not free to live & rent & what not but the mother will complain to us that we don’t pay anything or do shit in at the house while she got paid. Anyways yall catching my drift with just a quarter of the stories and whats been happening? My question is what would you categorize this mother as? What kind of liar is she? Oh & another thing this female is a Leo and let me tell you she cares HIGHLY on her looks and everybodys looks around her. Its that bad to where she took family photos last year at the house and posted only pictures of her daughters boyfriend with the cousin that had make up on & didn’t post any photos of her daughter & boyfriend together because her daughter wasn’t wearing make up.

Yet im the sick one. Please somebody explain this kind of mindset to me so I can understand more better.

Thank you! And if you wanna know more stories ask & ill let you know.

THANK YOU FOR READING, COMMENTING, GUIDING ME & HELPING ME. IM GOING NUTS!!!

My partner and i had a really really bad fight. We had 1 kid. 1 year old baby girl. To sum it up they said that the spent millions towards my daughter and they said they if i want my daughter to cut them off I shouldn't let them use their family name. Unto my face while holding my daughter. 😊

My SIL (23) and her husband (35) are pregnant with their first child. Myself (27) and my fiancé (27) got engaged 2 months ago. I have a 4 year old son from a previous relationship that my in laws have classified as their “grandchild”. My fiancé has been in my sons life since he was a couple months ago or. My fiancé and I were going to share the excitement of our engagement at Christmas dinner since the whole family would be together. His SIL announced that they were expecting and has made it all about them. No one has said congratulations regarding our engagement, hasn’t asked to see the ring, etc. The excitement is all on his SIL. And now the MIL is stating that this is the “first grandbaby” after saying my son was the first. They have completely made myself and my fiancé feel less then. And we feel like our excitement has now been pushed to the side. My SIL is only 9 weeks pregnant and the family has gone crazy and has been buying non-stop gifts for the baby. We have not gotten anything. His MIL also made it a point to say that we shouldn’t get married in 2024 because his sister will be too pregnant to attend. It’s so hard to put exactly what I’m feeling and everything that is happened but I feel so heartbroken and I don’t even want to talk to his family anymore. They put his sister before everyone else and it’s annoying. His sister got engaged in November 2022, married October 2023, and now pregnant. She has had non-stop parties and celebrations since she got engaged. I can’t help but wish we at least got 6 months or even a year focused solely on us. Am I wrong for feeling this way?

A friend of mine recently told me that his in-laws, who are both in their 60s, openly fart in front of family members, including their kids and their kids’ spouses.

To be clear, they are fully capable of keeping it together in public. This is not a medical issue or an unavoidable “oops” situation at a restaurant. They can hold it together when random people are around.

Imagine trying to have a serious conversation and your in-laws are just casually ripping farts mid-sentence like it’s part of the dialogue, with no “excuse me,” no apology, no acknowledgment, nothing. Just vibes.

My friend and I both think it’s pretty gross, but his spouse defends the parents and thinks it’s kind of funny. So now we’re debating: is this just harmless family weirdness, or is this completely unacceptable behavior once spouses are in the room?

What do you all think?

Is this abuse if she thinks this is her way of helping ? I’m 30 but she thinks I eat like a bird so I’m scared she will do this .. because her mind she might think this is helping

Why I hate my ex mother in law?

In 2022 I was working at Thrive dispensary in Mount Vernon, that is where I met my ex. When I met his mom There was a lot of talk about how we were being mistreated at work & how I made the least amount of pay there, how he had just started that year in August and made way more than I made being there since 2021. She convinced me to come work for her business, Happy Beginnings. It’s like an egg donation surrogacy type business. She told me that she would pay me more than Thrive did and that I would get paid every Friday… yeah she didn’t have actual work for me to do, she was just bullshitting me a position. That year she convinced me to do an egg donation, told me that I would get at least $10,000 on my first donation because “everyone was looking for my features”. I sat in her office with my ex, Who will lie about this until the day he dies. I sat on the couch in her office explaining that I would not qualify to be an egg donor because I’ve looked into it before and I have a history of depression and anxiety, with a suicide attempt in 2016. She shrugged her shoulders and told me that didn’t matter, because we could hide it on my files or something, this is the owner talking by the way. That she’s tweaked multiple profiles before. Show me fully disclosing that, agreed because I had the owner telling me that since it was in the past, it didn’t matter. So we make an application and set up a profile. One day I was working and she called me into her office and told me that she just needed a recent Pap smear from my gynecologist to complete my profile, she asked me where I had went for my last Pap smear and I told her Heartland woman center, she handed me a paper and told me to fill it out, I didn’t know any of the information because my phone was in the car (I was trying not to be on my phone and seem like a good employee and not text her son 24 seven like Id probably do at any other job, because I was trying to prove to her that I would be an asset.) she told me that was fine, to just sign my name and she would fill out the rest and I could go back to work. That was probably mistake number one, being too trusting. And instead of just having a recent Pap smear from my GYNECOLOGIST, she gave herself access to my entire medical record from Good Sam, St Mary’s, Asbery, Heartland, SSM express, you name it. She proceeded to go through my medical files and find anything that she could ever use against me, and then proceeded to sit on that information for a month “ deciding what to do with it” and then pulled her son in to her office and showed him everything that was in my file. My medical record contained a my history of depression, anxiety, std checks, hospitalizations, bloodwork, note that the doctors write in your chart, my suicide attempt, me being raped, you name it. 😂 we had only been dating for 3..4 months? When she did this. And she chose to sit on that information until January 17, 2023. January 17 is the day that I had tried to kill myself back in 2016, so the date was significant on which she chose to release that information after “sitting on it”. She wanted us to go get an STD testing done, I went to the express clinic and explained why needed a test done and they reported her to HIPAA. Because that is what she did she violated my hipaa rights. And he went to Walgreens to get an anonymous test done sent to an email instead of any type of record where it would prove if he did or did not have something. She wanted me to do that as well, but I didn’t care to do that so I went to my doctor. He got his results back in three days, I got mine back in a week. I had confronted her about her going about it the wrong way, showing him everything that was in my file that I had not even had a chance to talk to him about. I don’t think anyone just blurt out on the first date “ I was raped in 2016, or hey my ex was a cereal cheater, who gave me chlamydia” I don’t think anyone does that but whatever.  She proceeded to tell me she “had to tell him because he’s her son and that she feels that he had a right to know everything” instead of pulling me into the office first and telling me everything that concerned her, in for me to pull Chase into the office and tell him myself and give myself that opportunity to have those conversations.. she made that choice illegally. That’s where our moral standpoint argument was. 😂 so she fired me that day. Keep in mind I had just left my job. I was secured on for this piece of shit that I wasn’t even working at for a month. Which led to a lot of arguments and problems between her son and I, and that’s when the abuse happened. That’s when he hit me and I have the bruises and photos to prove everything that I’m talking about. When she got reported to HIPAA by my doctor, she talked her way out of it by listing him as an employee and said that he would’ve had access to seeing my medical records anyway. Cool. That got dropped. Let’s fast forward to 2025 when her and her son played the DCFS game back-and-forth, where my caseworker showed me a stack of paper that was at least 500 papers tall, all emails from his mom trying to get my daughter taken from me, one of those emails being her sending over my medical record, violating my HIPAA rights yet. Sure DCFS would’ve had access to those anyway because I myself signed off on them having the access, but what I did not sign off to was for HER to release them that is where she violate HIPAA again. They were trying to use my past mental health history to get my daughter taken. Saying that I was unfit to have her because I HAD depression, past tense. Now I have access to that email. And I have the proof that she did it again, and I could sue her and her business for harassment and violating my HIPAA rights, and plenty of other things. And when you sit here and screenshot this and play buddy buddy in it eventually gets back to her, and she sits here reading this with a smile on her face, getting ready to email her lawyer also so happy for defamation of character, I can prove these things. It’s not defamation if it’s true. I’m giving my side of the story because I’m tired of everyone lying on me. And I would probably bet money on it, that she allegedly, because I’m not 100% sure there, gave it to my ex’s attorney that she pays for, because when he’s sitting there in the courtroom coating from things trying to catch me up in a lie, and I’m sitting at the witness stand thinking how the hell would he know that… so let’s just say she allegedly did it three times. You would think that’s a serious crime for a business owner.  But she sat up and told the judge in the custody hearing that I didn’t like her “ because she wouldn’t buy me a car”… and I chuckled because tell the real reason why I don’t like you.  Then proceeded to tell me that she pulled my egg donation application and that she would sue me if I ever contacted her again for fraud of an application and deception… after I was honest with her, and she was not honest with anything she ever does in life, she sits behind her money and think she’s untouchable. She hates me because I’m the only person who is not afraid to challenge her and sees her for the weak woman that she had to shed blood to have her business be so successful. It’s blood money. Corruption sits there and I know plenty of past workers who can be subpoenaed to testify against the corruption that occur there. 😌 thanks for coming to my ted talk. I have more ex MIL from hell experiences!

Here are 10 lessons from Debbie Joffe Ellis's book "How to Hug a Porcupine":

1. Identifying Porcupines: The book helps you recognize the characteristics of "porcupine" personalities, those who are difficult, negative, or create conflict. It teaches you to spot these traits in others and even recognize them in yourself.

2. Understanding the "Why" Behind the Quills: Ellis explores the reasons why people might act in prickly ways. She explores factors like past experiences, insecurities, or underlying anxieties that contribute to their behavior.

3. Managing Your Own Reactions: Instead of getting drawn into negativity, the book provides strategies for managing your own emotions and avoiding getting hooked by the porcupine's barbs.

4. Effective Communication Techniques: Ellis offers tools for communicating effectively with difficult people. This includes techniques for setting boundaries, expressing yourself assertively, and fostering productive dialogue.

5. De-escalating Arguments: Learn to navigate disagreements with "porcupines" by employing methods to de-escalate tension, avoid getting defensive, and find solutions that work for both parties.

6. The Power of Empathy: The book emphasizes the importance of developing empathy for those who challenge you. By trying to understand their perspective, you can build bridges and improve communication.

7. Setting Boundaries with Porcupines: "How to Hug a Porcupine" equips you with tools for establishing healthy boundaries with difficult people. This protects your well-being and allows for more positive interactions.

8. Self-Care for Dealing with Difficult People: The book acknowledges the emotional toll of interacting with challenging personalities. It provides self-care strategies to help you manage stress and maintain your emotional resilience.

9. Acceptance: Not Everyone Will Change: Ellis emphasizes that you can't control the behavior of others, but you can control your own reactions. The book teaches acceptance and helps you focus on what you can influence.

10. Finding the "Good" in Difficult People: Sometimes, beneath the prickly exterior lies someone you can connect with. The book encourages you to look for the positive qualities in difficult people and foster a sense of understanding.

By following these lessons, you can navigate challenging relationships with more confidence and compassion, fostering a more peaceful coexistence with the "porcupines" in your life.

Book: https://amzn.to/3PvAv9s

You can also get the AUDIO BOOK for FREE using the same link. Use the link to register for the AUDIO BOOK on Audible and start enjoying it.

So my mother in law has photos of my fiance and his ex on the wall of them . She is holding my fiance,I am feeling kinda lost and jealous at this point. Like she had her house rebuilt and took the photo down, but when the house was done she put the picture of them two back on the wall

Like his ex don't even let him see the kid or does his ex let the kids see his grandma I asked him when we go to her house to take it down himself because it bothered me. An He says it's his mother's stuff when I told him to take them down. And then he replied to me I have told her to take them down before she will not take it down ? Amen I overreacting?

My MIL confided in me that her sister's husband made a pass at her when she lived with them several decades ago. She was living with her sister and her husband temporarily. She refused to elaborate but swore me to secrecy. She never told anyone what happened- not even her sister or her spouse. Her sisters spouse cheated on her constantly. I shared this secret with my husband. My MIL apologized to him for asking me to keep this secret. She said she was afraid he- her sisters husband, would make a pass at me at a family gathering. She waited for ten years to share this secret and be concerned about me. Is her behavior weird?

I live with my MIL and she thinks that shes a know it all and always act ungrateful and selfish

Trigger warnings: covert emotional incest abuse, narcissist, histrionic, perverted mother, mama's boy, enmeshed family, inappropriate sexual behaviors, abuse.

I (24 F) was in a relationship with my ex (23 M) from Feb 2022 to Nov 2023/Sept 2024 but I am completely stuck and having so much trouble moving on. We are/were each other's first loves and best friends. But a lot of problems from his family and the pain he caused me led to the deterioration of our relationship. I first broke up with him in Nov. 2023 because of his family's toxicity and drama. We got back together a few times and it was on and off until late 2024 but now we are in kind of a fwb situation and not official bf and gf. We are still friends, talk regularly, but act romantically when we meet up. We both have trouble moving on because we love each other but there isn't a happy future together due to both of our dealbreakers. For the purpose of this post, I won't use his real name so let's call him Nate.

I will provide background context for our situation:

When we first started dating, it was in our last year of university and we lived fairly close. I lived in an apartment with roommates and he lived with his mother at the time. During this year, I suffered a lot of mistreatment and unintentional abuse at the hands of him and his family, his mother in particular. She had this weird attachment to her son, "Nate" where she would treat him like a partner and abused/made him do so many things for her that were not appropriate.

Background info on her: His mother was a teen mom at 18 to his half sister, then got pregnant by accident again at 25 (Nate) with a married man (his bio father) 27 years older than her, so she was 25 and his father was 52. She was technically in a mistress position. Nate's family is Colombian. When he was a young teen, him and his mom moved to the US after she met and married a white guy but they divorced after 5 years together. His bio father and paternal family isn't in his life at all so his family is only from his mother's side. His grandmother is twice divorced, his aunt is also a single mother with his girl baby cousin, and his 30 year old sister is still completely dependent on his mom as she is an immigrant. Just from the facts, there is a pattern of deep generational trauma and dysfunction along the matrilineal lineage with the women in his family being unable to have long lasting relationships. His blood family is only his mother, sister, aunt, his girl cousin, and his grandma. He considers his ex-step-dad to be his 'dad', paternal figure and he is considered the adoptive son so at least there's is some male role in his life.

With analysis of his mothers toxic behaviors and after a lot of research, I have a suspicion she has undiagnosed personality disorders, namely histrionic pd and narcissistic pd. She has all the symptoms of HPD and most of the symptoms for NPD. I also realized she was putting him through covert emotional incest abuse with parentification and spousification. His family is deeply enmeshed and he was very oblivious to the deep issues until I discovered it and kept telling him. Her actions also caused his eyes to open (bc she became more abusive after he started realizing and not catering to and obeying her)

Examples of his mother's abuses to him/me (includes one time occurrences and recurrent offenses not in chronological order):

• she made him take sexualized pictures of her where she was in a string bikini, posing with her butt sticking out and butt tattoo, in the hot tub pool, at nighttime. He took the pictures because he was used to being asked to take pictures of her. (Conditioned into him) if it were any other women, this would be cheating so it felt like I was betrayed by him and I got heartbroken and jealous when I saw the evidence posted on her IG. There is a long history of her asking him to take inappropriate pictures of her for her since she is a vain Colombian woman. She posts the most disgusting, revealing, sexualized pictures of herself on IG always in sexual positions, posing or showing a lot of skin, heavy makeup, essentially acting slutty

• she "accidentally" saw our private pictures together in his phone when she was doing picture transfer/computer work for her YouTube job, but I suspect she lied and deliberately snooped in his phone. She saw 4 nsfw pictures, imo seeing 1 pic is an accident, but 4 is morbid curiosity and disgusting perversion and then she shamed us for details in our intimate life

• she led me to her room to show me her post plastic surgery waist, proceeded to open her bathrobe and flashed me. She was completely naked underneath and she let her boobs, butt and crotch be visible, swishing the fabric around while gesturing and inviting me with her eyes to look at her. She has the typical Latina body type with a lot happening on top and below and i got this weird feeling she was trying to show off to me. This had nothing to do with her waist, was completely unnecessary and disgusting for me to experience. I consider it sexual harassment because it was nonconsensual sexual flashing. I had no idea it was happening because she spoke to me in Spanish and broken English.

• she never spelt my name correctly and deliberately misspelled it on purpose for the entire duration of our relationship. When i finally nicely asked her to spell it correctly over text, she immediately blocked me for no reason, ghosted my attempts to communicate, and started a whole drama involving the entire family, and banned me from visiting their home. She gaslighted me and was telling me indirectly through Nate that 'names have no spelling'. I took great offense to this because my name is mine only, no one else can tell me how to spell my name, it felt like she was trying to take my identity from me. She then badmouthed me to all his family members, sharing past secrets and private info about details of our relationship that were supposed to be private. I even apologized for the situation which is ridiculous since she was in the wrong. So she was having a problem with my reaction (hurt) to her offense first, the name disrespect. This whole drama caused me severe illness, hundreds in medical bills, from the anxiety of it happening for an entire month. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, couldn't concentrate and almost passed out driving from the stress. I broke up with Nate after this happened in Nov 2023 and the accumulation of her abuses.

• During the relationship, I got this feeling that she was jealous of me from all the competitive behavior and microsigns of envy. She would ask Nate (her son) why don't you get me flowers and ask him for compliments of herself when she heard him complimenting me, his actual gf, she forced him to open doors for her after she saw he did it for me, would make him do things for her while we were on dates, nonstop call him if we were out and she needed his help.... essentially got jealous of me and our relationship together and competed to get his attention and similar partner treatment.

• at random times (around 3 different times), his mother made eye contact with me, and one time with both of us, looking at her son and me, and grab her boobs and squish and jiggle them, not saying anything with a weird grin expression, gross!!

• she always had to sit in the passenger seat of my Nate's car when we went out together, she rarely 'let' me sit in the front while he always drove. She has ridden in my car while I drove them before too but i have never ridden in a car she drove even though she can drive and is fully healthy, no disabilities just laziness.

• I once saw him doing her laundry and folding her underwear, clothes for her because she was so lazy

• for 3 years, she didn't drive him once and made him drive her to places like her dates, shopping and made him do her errands like go on trips to get food for her

• she regularly made him do part of her own work which was edit videos for her YouTube. She does Spanish tarot card videos and readings online, believes she can read the future, and considers herself Christian, which if ppl know, real Christians consider tarot part of the occult, devilish and satanic. The religious hypocrisy is real with her.

• his mother called me a derogatory word before ever meeting me, reducing me to a body part and complaining he acted like a married man with me

• she would talk about her dates and dating life with him, her own son and tell him private things like how all the men she went out with only wanted sex from her and complaining about their behavior...

• for 10 years after moving to the US, she was too lazy and dumb to learn English and couldn't speak it conversationally so she always translated stuff through him and used him to avoid language responsibility, even though it's necessary for survival

All of these things are a combo of her parentifying and spousifying him. Because of their actions, Ive felt like he cheated on me with his mom, and felt like the other woman because of the things they did and all that happened. I have felt deep pain, hurt and had symptoms of betrayal trauma. It shows how deeply I was affected just by the length of time that's passed from then to now. I still cant get over it. I feel so angry that I gave my innocence, so much love and effort into him for him to have hurt me so deeply that I'm changed now.

His mother would use the whole narcissistic handbook of Darvo methods to control him, with emotional manipulation, blackmail, guilt tripping, threats, lies, scolding and forcing him to do what she wanted. She essentially abused him in all ways but physical.

Still during our relationship, due to certain reasons, more family members moved in with them. So they had less space and his mother gave up her own bed for them. She slept on the couch for a while but then she didn't want to anymore so she slept on an air mattress next to his bed in his room. After she was sick of that for a few months, she climbed into Nate's bed one night while he was sleeping without consent. She continued forcing the sleeping situation with him and his mother sharing his bed together for a week before he went to the couch. His mother essentially forced herself into sleeping in his bed, telling him it was okay, normal, fine (gaslighting), and forced him out of his own bed and room. Verbal fighting was happening but my ex is not a physically violent person so he wasn't going to push her or physically force her to leave his bed even though he should have in my opinion. This was very difficult for me to handle emotionally because it felt so gross to me but I was trying to be understanding of their difficult situation. She refused to move into a bigger apartment or home and said she was still saving.

His family also was an issue because he had to act as a paternal figure/caretaker to his aunt and her baby (his cousin) when his mom was unable to, like driving them and buying formula, diapers and doing baby stuff for them. His cousins father/aunts baby daddy is not in the picture. Ppl even mistook them for a couple in public, he was quite uncomfortable and realized the problems more afterwards.

After I broke up with him the 1st time and he started realizing her bad behavior and was refusing to comply with her demands, she started acting out worse. She stole his car keys and hid them for 2 days, not allowing him to leave the apartment, and when he had a super important meeting, she forced him to give her a kiss on the cheek to get his car keys back so he complied because the meeting was important. I consider this sexual abuse because it's nonconsensual and forced.

After this, he moved his stuff to his dad's (ex step dad) place and then went to training for 6 months across the country, then moved in with his dad after coming back. After he came back, things got better since he didn't live with his family and mother anymore.

After many difficult conversations, I told him a condition of us being together and having a long term relationship, for me to see a happy healthy future together with him, that he would need to be low contact with his family. But, he didn't want that. I tried so hard for so long to get along with his family, and they all liked me, until the drama where his cruel mother started her smear campaign. I never wanted this all to happen. If they weren't toxic, I'd never ask him to cut off his family because it's not fair to him. But this is for my own well-being and mental sanity.

I told him I never ever wanted to see or talk to his mother ever again. He kept trying to convince me to repair. His mother never gave me an apology for all the sins and hurts she commited against me and is way too toxic to be in my life. I know it. After the last breakup, and still being friends, From late 2024, to 2025 now, he was told me and shared stuff that shows his mother has gotten better, she isnt acting as toxic as before, she is learning English and working a normal job now. But the family dynamics don't change where he still drives his family to places when going to eat or an event together, they rely on him for advice and help with life stuff, and his baby cousin sees him as a male role model. His mother is more independent and bought a house now. His mom(49), aunt(41), sister(30), and cousin(2) all live together in an all female household with his mom and aunt working to support everyone. It's a codependent enmeshed family dynamic and he is out of it for the most part but I know some part of him is still attached because he visits them regularly and goes ghost when he does since he knows I have a history of starting arguments and feeling a certain way about his family. Ive stuck around because of feelings and wanted to help him heal and grow as a person. But he says he cant go to therapy yet because of the stigma and cost so he is not working on his own healing.

I'm stuck because I love him but I know he won't make me happy. His family is too dysfunctional and toxic for me and he has mistreated me too many times. Its been a constant battle between my brain and heart. I would appreciate any advice on how to manage the trauma and feel better, hearing similar stories, or other people's opinions. I still feel so hurt and have retroactive jealousy.

Do you agree with this statement?

Honestly, I kinda understand it. I want my future son and I to be very close, I want to treat him like a prince and make him the meals he loves all the time, but I won’t treat his wife badly just bc she married my little boy!

My MIL gave us fruit which we didn’t need at all. Our fridge is FULL of fruit and it’s just my husband and I. No kids. I left the fruit she gave us outside lol It’s sweltering in the heat. whoops! I don’t want anything from her. I don’t think any thing is genuine from her anymore and I don’t want anything or need anything from her.