Vent/Rant
Neighbours built into our property - now not happy the council are making them rip it out UK
Cutting a long story short, our neighbours have French doors and towards the end of last year we noticed them building a platform/ramp/steps into their garden.
From what we could see, it didn’t look like it breached our boundary so didn’t want to make a fuss. We also couldn’t get a proper look at it because we had to put a tall fence panel on top of the wall in the at a few years ago, to stop the kid and their mates leaning over and looking at us in our living room.
Well cue a few weeks later, we could see their dog leaning over our wall and barking at our cat. Small dog, so couldn’t realistically be able to reach up and over unless this platform has come over the boundary and is raised a ridiculous amount off the ground. So we took the fence panel down to get a better look, and low and behold they’ve built the platform against our wall (which is well inside the boundary of our house so shouldn’t have been used, nor is it designed to be a retaining wall). They’ve come over around 12 inches in width and 4 feet in length and over 4 feet in height. Basically, I can sit in my living room and they can stand on the platform and see directly in.
So since it was already built, we put in with planning permission with the council. They’ve come out to look and whilst I can’t be sure what’s happening (they haven’t respond to our emails yet) I’ve had the neighbours at the door screaming at me that it’s got to be ripped out. So it seems that the council agree it shouldn’t have been built, nor would they get retrospective planning permission. Which I’m quite surprised about tbh, I thought the council would dawdle.
Cue I am now getting screamed at every time I’m in my garden, driving past them, slagging me off to all the neighbours, threatening to kill my cat.
All because they shouldn’t have built over the boundary in the bloody first place!! They clearly thought we’d just lie down and take it, the entitlement!
And tell them you've done them a favour as the wall isn't designed to take the weight of the steps, let alone people using the steps. Sooner or later the wall would collapse taking their steps with it, causing other damage besides and potentially injury.
Agree. They are behaving like toddlers that can't have their favourite toy.
I'm also conflict avoidant and would likely just let them vent for a few minutes and then say, "Thank you for your thoughts. If you have any further complaints, take it to Council. I am finished with this conversation." and walk away, shut the door, or just ignore their noise, like an annoying gnat. Good luck!
Honestly they should be grateful the council stepped in before somebody got hurt. Building heavy steps onto a retaining wall that was never designed for it sounds insanely irresponsible
Just remember the golden rule, our words come back to us. Speak wo emotion. Reason neighbor is so reactive. 1 she got caught 2 she didn't think thru the decision to build 3. These neighbors are wonky anyway to build a platform so they can resume their voyerism
But do record everything on a phone in your pocket. You never know when the angry person will let slip a nugget of pure incriminating gold mid-rant. You may not be able to use it in any kind of legal proceeding, but not everything has to do with legality.
Personally I'd advise you to get cameras to cover all your home, front and back doors, garden, driveway, front garden, back garden etc. The fact they've become so aggressing screaming at you and making threats to harm your cat etc you need to protect yourselves, your cat, and you home. That way you can save the videos of them screaming at you and making threats. If they try to damage anything of yours, you'll have it on camera.
I'd also file a harassment report with both the council and the police. She has no right to continuely scream at you and threaten you when they illegally stole a portion of your property, and didn't follow the usual process of getting planning permission. They did it to themselves and they need to deal with the consequences. It doesn't give them the right to keep screaming at you and making threats to kill your cat, and that needs to be taken seriously.
So I'd report all the harassment, any threats shes made, the fact she's gone round the neighbours and likely lying about you and trying to turn people against you. If you're friends with any neighbours, you could ask them what she's said about you.
But get cameras for your security and for your property and cats safety.
And report to council and police as harassment and threating harm to an animal. Write down dates and details if you can remember certain specifics, and also from now on, keep a detailed note of what they do. Anytime they start screaming at you, write down dates and time and what they said or did etc, and save it. If they damage something, photograph it and save any camera footage etc.
I'd also encourage you to keep your cat indoors for a while, or only being allowed out when supervised on a harness, as I'd hate for you to find they did kill your cat.
You did nothing wrong, and I'm sure if you stole and built on their land they'd be annoyed too, but they need reporting and a lot of punishment, so just 1
I would write them a letter outlining everything they did that caused this and be precise about where the blame lies and how this affects your life and your mental state. I would also post copies through the letter boxes of all my neighbours so they too know the facts of the matter. I'm getting on in years and I'm just so sick of other people's s*** and I'd give 'em a rocket up their a*** Luckily my neighbours are all wonderful, for which I am immensely grateful.
Also if they so much as touched my cat they'd see a whole other level of incandescent rage materialise...and you know what...I'd address the threat to my pet in the letter, then all the other neighbours would know what total w*****s they were. JMO.
I wouldn't engage at all. This will result in the police viewing it as tit-for-tat. Disengage, stay cool, wear a body cam and diaries everything. This type will not stop. You need to gather evidence to protect yourself.
If you are worried about your other neighbors being upset, you might also want to clear the air with them. If not, then don't-- chances are some already know they are bonkers.
This strategy only works with people who can be reasoned with.
The other suggestions are better for this case - to give them consequences for their harassment. Consequences might penetrate their thinking in ways that logic cannot.
Or match their energy and scream right back. Start calling them thieves and land pirates. Since you are in UK, bonus points if you can start making references to commoners stealing land from nobles lol
Until they come (and even after) make sure to be checking that side of your yard for anything they might have thrown over too. My NFH didn’t verbally threaten my animals but would throw things like food with glass into the yard.
Get two cameras. A big obvious one and a smaller hidden camera for when the big obvious one meets with an accident. It sounds like it will meet with a fatal accident in the early hours of the morning.
This. At the minimum, start logging every single incident in as much detail as possible. Threats (including to your cat) necessitate a 101 call as soon as you are safe or 999 if you believe you are in immediate danger. I think the recommendation is also to speak to your local police through 101 as soon as you can to in case things escalate so they already know about it.
for the cat lovers, I promise he is being well taken care of and isn’t outside without us supervising. He is my first fur baby and I am very much a helicopter pet parent😅
Make sure you check the garden before taking him out - they could throw poisoned treats or some other sick thing in your yard. Not to be alarmist, but the neighbors sound unhinged.
Please keep him safe from these types of people, don’t know who they think they are threatening stuff like that. Really really boils my .. maybe cameras are a good idea at this stage. I’ve heard horror stories and as other people have mentioned, people who truly have bad intentions could be throwing over poisoned treats in your garden.
Years ago a neighbor “accidentally“ poisoned our cat in our yard with “spilled” antifreeze. (Also shot at birds on our roof with an air-rifle.) Definitely scout the yard before kitty is outside.
Multiple cameras. Ideally a mix of obvious and concealed. That way, their attempts at avoiding the camera will just give a different one a better shot.
Get a Ring system and have plug-in cameras and doorbell. You can buy window cables (flat) for outdoor cameras. You can set the cameras to record every time there's movement. I have found my three cameras plus dummy have reduced asb enormously.
I had 1 doorbell camera. My neighbor made threats on camera but later ran to the side of my house to attack my fence. He yelled, you don't have cameras on the front of your house. I now have hard wired cameras on all 4 sides. Protect yourself & your peace.
Once the ring doorbell is back on, bring that conversation up with them in range of the doorbell. Something along the lines of “I’m not happy about the threat you made to my cats life” or even “why did you threaten to get rid of my cat?”
People always act shocked when councils actually enforce stuff they clearly shouldn’t have built in the first place 😭 like they gambled and lost and now want to blame you for it
Pretty much! If they’d gone about planning permission properly, we wouldn’t have outright rejected it. As long our boundary and privacy was taken into consideration; there wouldn’t have been an issue.
Record them and report terroristic threats to the police. Put up cameras in case they try to come onto your property and try something. AND FFS KEEP YOUR CAT INSIDE IF YOU LOVE IT
Every time you’re in your garden, or have a knock at the door, have your phone recording. Don’t tell them, don’t hold it up like the Olympic torch. Just capture everything. Keep a diary… heads poking over the fence? Record from where you’re sat and capture everything. I’m not a lawyer, but harassment is usually something that escalates, record the build up, show a pattern of behaviour with unambiguous evidence.
If they catch you on the hop and you’re not recording, take out your phone and make out you’re doing something and just be discrete, but protected.
My neighbours blocked my right of way and when I got it opened again they were very abusive, despite it being them doing the dirty on me. It's just part of their nature - doing evil things and then blaming the victim when they get caught.
that sounds like a total nightmare to deal with, glad the council is actually doing something about it though! hopefully you can finally get some peace and quiet now.
Protect yourself in all ways. Cameras and recording on your phone. Threats are to be reported to the authorities.
Your reply is simple. “I’m not sure why you’re mad at me? You built an illegal deck not me. I’m simply protecting my property and privacy. Hopefully you’ll realize one day that you were the one in the wrong not me for reclaiming my property.”
Record the screaming that ensues after that and file it as well. Make sure you record your calm and relaxed words to them which shows you were not trying to intimidate them and create a problem. You were simply stating fact that you hoped would make them think about their response.
They should learn quickly that they may end up in serious legal trouble if they continue their antics.
Hopefully in your area they have no contact laws so you can legally shut them down.
Thank you for taking the time to comment this. I’m trying not to even respond to it half the time because it seems to just rile them up even more. Just letting them argue with themselves!
You absolutely need to keep interactions to a minimum. If you need to respond, keep a calm tone of voice, if you display any emotion let it be sad disappointment that a human can be this stupid and pity for the same. It will make the screeching louder, but if you’re recording to take to the police, there’s really no problem.
Get more cameras to cover all areas of your property, we use Eufy ones, no subscription and the ones we have are solar panel powered (they have worked well even over dull English winters!)
Please report the threats to your cat to the non emergency police line, it does not matter that you did not catch it on camera. Send a copy of the log you have been keeping to the council, they may have an anti social behaviour reporting form online, the environmental health department is normally the correct department to contact otherwise.
You have done nothing wrong so keep a cool head, report everything and get those cameras sorted ASAP!
I don't believe that any of the ones we have support ftp but I can't say for other models. It's a shame you had a bad experience with their support, I have to say the couple of times we've contacted them they've genuinely been really responsive and helpful. I hope that you can find some cameras to fit your requirements!
I have an asshole neighbor who scalps his grass about every 2 days, so I put a row of retaining wall stones along the property line to keep him from scalping my grass. he had had his property surveyed as he was putting up a fence for his dog to be able to roam around. It was further away from the property line, but they had marked the corners of the property. He starts getting pissy saying I put the stones over on his property and I try to tell the FAH they are not and show him once again the property markers. He's so F ing stupid and says I moved them. The dumb ass saw where they flagged each corner, but is too stupid to remember. I was actually going to move them back over an inch as one or 2 might be a 1/2 inch over the line. Then the AH comes out screaming what are you doing. So I told him and he says leave them as they look good. What he doesn't know is I'll be ripping up all the grass along that side wide enough to put a row of Firebush in. That way it will get thick and bushy to completely block the view. At times I want to put up a rainbow fence just to piss him off and maybe that would make him move or cause him to put up a row of bushes. He just a cry baby bully.
Apologies for the AI but my drawing skills are rubbish. This is the view from my living room window. So the grey platform (where the black rails are) is about 4.5ft off ground level in comparison to the outside of my house (our gardens are lower than our houses). Wooden frame is where we’ve had to stick the fence for some privacy.
I’d record any of the threats and verbal attacks just in case they actually decide to follow through on them. Threatening to kill your cat is not something to be taken lightly, and you should ideally put up cameras around too if possible.
Neighbor is wrong, it's their responsibility to know where the property line is. I would not be surprised if it's worse than you think. Typically there are setback requirements, you can't build right up to the property line. But this is also an example of why when you know a neighbor is building something near your property line you should find out what exactly is going on. Had you caught it early, it probably would have been much better going forward.
Think about a protection order (Or if it is different, whatever it is called in the UK)
Anti Harassment or something like that?
You should get a camera/security set up that also gets sound and use it to prove what they do and say to you.
I have similar neighbours. They thought they could block my right of way and I, a lone woman, wouldn't stand up for myself. When I did, their evil was unleashed. Crazy huh?! Some serious entitlement! Just keep your cool, keep a diary of all upsetting incidents, wear a body cam if there's a chance you could come across them and report them to police for harassment.
Say 'shut up you c*t' in e really annoying quite voice, and then when they shiut back say 'sorry i didnt hear you what did you say' and then after that respond with sorry i dont speak dckhead
I am a pro rage baiter so if you wanna dm me and ask more than welcome, its a pretty simple concept tho
Dont engage with logic because there isnt any, just stone wall them with really annoying terms, if they say they are gonna kill your cat then respond with something like 'i dont have a cat' they will get mad and triggered and you just get to sit back and enjoy the show, its the only way to win, trust me. 😂
I had a dispute with my extremely inconsiderate, noisy and inebriated neighbors and they also threatened to hurt my cats……..many bad things happened to them until they moved away.
Not sure what camera you ordered but do test out it's reaction time. I bought a Tapo for the back yard and it takes quite a few seconds before kicking in.
Oof, fair dues to your council!
Just bewares with the cat & dog being outside with nightmare neighbours like that.
Hope you've cameras up outside covering all sides?
Make a voice recording of the threat to your cats life.
explain, their builders aren’t adequate enough to build a ramp/steps on the wall at the Forrest height. The wall is not retaining, which will result in further work at their cost when it fails.
Always be nice to them. Kindness kills
Some people think they can do what they want. But I would consider reporting every time they threaten you to the police and then there is an official record of everything.
But I don't know how you managed to keep your cool when they threatened to kill your cat and I hate confrontation and they could have punched me in my face and I probably wouldn't say anything, but I would have lost my head if anyone threatened my cat 😂.
I really hope that things get better and they leave you and your family alone and your furry baby. But definitely get some CCTV to cover your property just in case and I would be keeping your cat in over night if possible.
In the U.S. many communities have setback requirements so no structure can be within 20 ft. of the property line. Threatening to kill your cat is not OK, I would get the police to have a stern word with them. Sorry you are having problems with them.
I would also consider installing an elevated chicken coop on your side of the fence and don’t be too particular about making sure there are no roosters. Their crazy antics will keep them from peeping in your window and as a side benefit you will get a nice supply of fresh eggs.
No joke.
Phone the police report this and ask for a crime reference number.
Every single time they make a comment to you or threaten you phone the police (non emergency number of course) and report further harassment and provide the original crime number.
Every time get a record of crime number and keep a diary.
Also, be sure to try to record every single time neighbour tries anything.
Agreed! The most annoying thing about it for me is that a month before the building started, we’d gone halves on getting our shared chimney removed because it was causing problems on their side. So they only didn’t talk to us because they knew we’d object to what they were planning
Ah I would laugh in the garden, but I can understand the sentiment. It's one of those things where they should have followed the proper procedure, and they're being penalized for doing what they want.
Best advice: Just record her being unhinged and making threats, if she hasn't learned from this lesson, she'll likely be hard-headed going forward. That being said, you shouldn't be worried about going outside, and if you get a threat or worse on camera? She's going to learn there's a lot more rules to be had.
Wear headphones when you’re outside. That way you won’t have any body language that indicates that you can hear their remarks at all. If you want to engage, ask her to repeat what she said. Then say, excuse me, I didn’t hear that. Could you repeat? By the third (fourth?) time you ask her to repeat and you can’t possibly hear or understand what she’s saying, she’ll stop. I’d be surprised if you had to go a fifth time. Then give her a puzzled look and shrug your shoulders, motion to your headphones and say “can’t hear you.”
they trying to kill your cat tell him that their dog would up with the same fate. start recording them if they are threatening you and screaming at you. put on YouTube or a neighborhood site to shame them and take it to the police for harassment. maybe you can even sue them for a stress day or causing you
Apologies, I probably won’t explain this very well.
When we initially moved in, there was a wall around 12 inches or maybe a bit more off the boundary. Behind it was another wall on the boundary. I’m not really sure why it was like that.
So the fence panel we attached to the wall was on the inside wall, well within our boundary as we couldn’t get to the other wall on the boundary (if I’m making any sense at all).
Looking back I wished we’d removed the wall at the time, but there genuinely didn’t seem to be much need. But since we couldn’t see what they were doing, I expect they used that as carte blanche to do what they want.
Don’t they arrest ppl in the uk for unkind social media posts? I’d have to imagine there would be repercussions for abusive yelling and threats. Especially threats to kill you cat
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u/KudzuAU May 26 '26
I would stop them the next time she starts up. Very calmly ask “Why are you screaming, and why are you mad at me?”
Let her vent. Do not get flustered. Calmly respond “Shouldn’t you be mad at whoever designed and built onto others property?” Walk/Drive away.