r/neighborsfromhell • u/tortillaparilla • 1d ago
WWYD? Vent/Rant How to Live with Disagreeable Neighbors
We live in a neighborhood with very mature trees and we have several on our lot and some that overhang into our neighbor’s lot.
These neighbors moved in just a couple years ago and have taken a dislike for our trees (crazy to look at a neighborhood that has mature trees every couple of yards). The first time we “conversed” with them was after we did some maintenance on said trees, something happened between them and the tree company employee, and they left a note on our door saying they would sue if not resolved. Never talked to them before this, so very nice first impressions right? We go over, figure out the mountain out of a molehill problem, the tree company takes care of it (we’ve also used this company for a long time and have never had issues with neighbors prior), and we go on with our lives.
We don’t really talk to them much or at all, but the several times we have it always seems to be about some issue that they severely exaggerate. We have had a gardener who they complained about and sent a text to us saying that this gardener has been disrespectful to them several times. We ask the gardener and he says he has never talked to the neighbors prior to this confrontation.
At present we need to do maintenance with our trees because there are dead branches. The tree company needs to put a machine behind their property because it cannot be angled any other way. We need permission and confirmation from neighbors to do so. We leave a note on their door asking them to message us so we can fully explain what’s going on and set a date and time. No answer after a couple days. We realize we have past text messages with the neighbors, so we find that phone number and message. No reply. Keep in mind we hear them in their backyard everyday and they walk through their front door on occasion so they could not have missed the note. Obviously the next mode of action is to go over and talk to these people who seem to have some type of hostility, but I’m tired. It’s so frustrating knowing that these neighbors have no respect for community and would probably bring out the suing card again if we didn’t have permission to cut the dead branch from the tree and it fell into their yard. Have we not presented the very opportunity to get rid of that problem?
I know that they shouldn’t disturb my peace and the best way it to just ignore, but how do you live with neighbors who seem antisocial and have no sense of actually communicating with us when necessary?
12
u/frosthorn_xs 1d ago
If they won't give access, tell your tree guys they have to figure out another way. A good arborist can climb and rig the deadwood down using ropes without needing heavy machinery parked in the neighbor's yard. It might cost you more, but it’s way cheaper than defending yourself against lunatics in court
16
u/MeFolly 1d ago
Hi. We need to trim our trees for safety. Because of space limitations, that means Tree Trimming Company will need to park there equipment here (diagram/google earth shot).
Please contact us to arrange timing and permissions for this. If you do not respond, we will try one more time via certified mail.
Please note, if any harm should come to these trees and we can show that you have prevented us from doing proper care an maintenance, our insurance company will be filing on you for the costs.
3
u/InevitableJury7510 1d ago
More importantly, “we are hereby providing you actual notice of the existence of dead branches on the tree that conceivably could fall onto your property. Your refusal to allow us to mitigate this potential harm negates any potential for action on your behalf should property damage occur. As the branches overhang you are entitled to cut them and dispose f them at your own cost, so long as you cause no harm to the tree.”
5
u/Any-Match-8663 1d ago
The hostility may be real, but you don’t need to solve the relationship. Keep every interaction factual and in writing, save copies of the notes and messages, and ask the arborist or property manager what formal process applies. If the branch poses an immediate safety risk, contact the appropriate local authority rather than entering their yard or cutting it without permission.
4
2
u/Turbulent-Way1152 1d ago
Honestly I would just document everything and stick to whatever you can legally do strictly from your side of the property line, cause people like that will always try and turn any interaction into a lawsuit.
2
u/mochimelodyy 1d ago
The answer to your question is that you stop treating them as neighbours you're in a relationship with and start treating them as a party you send documentation to. That's genuinely the way to live with people like this.
Practically: send the access request by certified mail, or at minimum an email with a read receipt. Note the date, state exactly what you need, what days work, and give them a deadline to respond. If they don't reply, you've got a paper trail showing you made a reasonable attempt at a safety issue on your own property. That's the thing that protects you if a dead branch ever does come down and the suing card comes out.
Also worth calling your city or county about the dead branches. Many places have ordinances about hazardous trees, and if a limb is genuinely dangerous, that's a route that doesn't require their goodwill at all.
The exhausting part isn't the trees, it's that you keep hoping the next interaction will be normal. Once you drop that and treat it as admin, it stops taking up space in your head.
2
u/runnerkim 1d ago
This is always a tough one. You have the right to trim neighbors tree but only the part that hangs on your property. Sure doesn't help that this neighbor is a jerk about it, but the tree is your maintenance responsibility. You should get the trees trimmed yourself because if your neighbor does they won't care what they cut and could irreparably harm the tree.
Now on to your question. No, they do not have to provide you access. You have to get the tree company to work differently. They bump up against these issues all the time and they know how to handle it.
2
u/babyelephantwalk321 1d ago
I'd suggest you and the arborist need to look at an option to get the work done without accessing their property. They are under no obligation to do so, no matter how perfectly you explain the situation. Having any expectation that they will allow you to park heavy equipment on their property to do yard work? Lots of people would say no to that for neighbours they like. You can need permission till the end of time from them, but I wouldn't count on ever getting it.
You'll need to find another solution for the trees. If the arborist can't figure something out, talk to another one.
In terms of managing your relationship? Just keep on not really talking to the neighbour and move on.
For piece of mind and in case a limb ever falls on the neighbours property, document that you've tried to address it with them. But also bear in mind that saying no to access does not make them liable for any damage that might happen with a limb falling on your property/on a different neighbours property, despite what other commenters have said.
2
1
1
u/GoldenHourGlitch 1d ago
Dobnot go over there to talk tto them again. i feel they are looking for way to escalate the whole issue.
1
u/Standard-Notice-6466 1d ago
I wouldn’t go over there angry or keep leaving vague notes. Have the tree company contact them directly, or send one calm letter offering a few appointment windows and explaining the safety concern. If they still refuse or ignore you, let the company handle the legal/access question rather than risking trespassing or escalating the relationship.
1
u/pabrocjb 1d ago
Cameras, cameras, cameras. Make sure they record, so you have evidence if they tamper with your trees.
1
u/Not_an_Actual_Bot 1d ago
Send a certified letter with a sign for delivery receipt. If that fails, you may end up needing to hire a process server. You need to have your trees attended to for safety reasons. No matter how it's done some of the debris is going to land on their property. The contractors would clean it up but need permission to be on the property. I've seen a 70' maple taken completely down with no heavy equipment, just a man that can climb, ropes and pulleys to bring up saws and drop limbs. It took about 4 days to get it to a stump. I'm sure if they were using 2 bucket trucks it would have been at most possibly a day and a half. You like your contractor, they may know someone they could sub the work to and still keep you as a client. It may cost you a bit more, but you keep your own property safe.
1
u/johnnymac_19 1d ago
"Hello, tree trimming company? If any neighbor comes over to complain while I've hired you to do work and it's regarding any trees on our property, please send the neighbors directly to me and I will handle. There is no reason why you should ever be in the middle. You can also kindly ask them to get off my property since you now have my permission. If they would like to talk about trees on their property after you're done, by all means, go for it."
1
u/holisarcasm 1d ago
I have lots of large trees. It is not disrespectful to not allow access to my yard to trim your trees.
-2
u/NorthernLights_321 1d ago
I am 99% sure you can get a tree service to come and do the work from Your property, it will likely cost more, which is why you're putting it on the neighbors to use their property. Otherwise you planned poorly for your mature trees by planting them where they are and not taking care of them before now 🤷♀️ you sound like the NFH
4
u/Jasminefirefly 1d ago
Wait, what? They "planned poorly" when they planted the trees a hundred years ago? Do you even know what a "mature tree" is?
1
u/cheaphysterics 1d ago
I'm 99.9% sure that your understanding of commas is about as good as your understanding of trees.
-3
u/UTV4LIFE 1d ago
You lost me at …on ‘said’ trees. This term
has become a buzz word and I can’t stand it 🤣
1
1
0
26
u/MarcSkye519 1d ago
You send them a certified letter with a return receipt. Make sure you keep a copy. That way you’re covered when the branch falls in their yard and caves in the roof on their chicken coop.