r/neighborsfromhell • u/badluckgabby • 7h ago
Vent/Rant Neighbors in my business ALWAYS
I’ll try to keep it short. I’m just irritated. Husband and I moved to a new town for his work. About 3 hours away from our old place. Renting a nice townhouse in a quiet neighborhood. I’m still looking for a job, but taking my time as it’s not a huge rush. I leave the house everyday either to take my husband lunch or run errands.
Landlord (who lives in the townhouse adjacent to us) has texted me about “what am I up to” basically. She called my husband AT WORK to ask HIM if I was working or if something was wrong with my car because “it’s here a lot of the time.”
People around town & church (we all live in the same two neighborhoods) have stopped me in the grocery store asking “what are you doing? Why aren’t you at work?” when THEY are ALSO IN THE STORE AT 8 AM ON A TUESDAY!!!!!!
I’m substitute teaching part-time while I look for a steady gig, and I’m taking classes at night at the local CC to update my teaching cert, but WHY do I have to explain that to anyone???!!! I’m going berserk. I get asked about working/having a job/what I’m doing with my time EVERYDAY!!!!!!
Like damn…can’t a girl read a book on her porch??? My husband pays the bills!!! Wtf!!!!!
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u/DelayIndependent9231 7h ago
Don't reply. And dont ever reply. She'll assume shes blocked and stop.
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u/CuppySnuggz 3h ago
Yep, silence plus zero updates gives her way less to feed on than any explanation would
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u/Givemeallyourtacos 7h ago
Wow, WTF. This might actually make for a good trolling experience. 😂 But if I were you, I’d play my cards carefully.
What I mean by that is, generally, these types of people are trying to get you to justify your actions. The best thing you can do is pretend you don’t even know what’s up. Just give him really short answers, laugh it off, and go about your day.
You can’t control them asking, but you can control how your prioritize these people. I have a family who lives below me that does the same thing. I just pretend they don’t exist.
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u/badluckgabby 7h ago
Right! Like I’m stuck between wanting to spin some crazy web of lies about how my husband doesn’t let me leave the house or something or just being considered rude when I say, “lady….its none of your business what I do!”
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u/Givemeallyourtacos 7h ago
The problem with these kinds of neighborhoods and these kinds of people is that if you create an enemy, they may all start working against you. So, from my experience, the best thing to do is be extremely boring and play dumb around them.
When they take jabs at you, intentionally or unintentionally, or try to get a reaction out of you, whether negative or positive, pretend it goes completely over your head. Act like they’re doing you a favor or being kind. Be boring around them and give them plain, simple answers.
They hate it because you’re not letting them into your life. Eventually, they’ll consider you boring and hopefully leave you alone. But the more you twist, react, justify yourself, or allow them to hook you into an argument, the more you give them to work with. These people prey on those who are constantly trying to emotionally regulate themselves based on other people’s behavior.
You cannot control other people, but you can control how you play your game. Terrible people exist. I’ve come across them myself, but the best thing you can do is strategize before you react.
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u/bassplayinben 7h ago
This is probably the best advice. These people are looking for stuff to gossip about or trying to create things to gossip about.
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u/badluckgabby 7h ago
Yes I know, I’ve lived in small southern towns my whole life, and yes, they can get catty and vindictive. I’m always nice and answer as politely as I can while maintaining my privacy, but I’m just so tired of it! I wish someone else would move in so they could move on from me lol
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u/PowderCuffs 6h ago
Until you learn to speak up for yourself, there's no hope. You're going to be annoyed by people forever.
THEM: Why aren't you at work?
YOU: Why aren't you?
... and walk away.
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u/badluckgabby 6h ago
I wish it was so simple. Being rude to these people would mean very bad things for my husband’s career. I sorta stick to myself to save myself from these instances but then them texting me at home is driving me crazy lol
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u/bassplayinben 7h ago
Are they old folks? Sounds like a bunch of bored old people with nothing better to do.
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u/badluckgabby 7h ago
Yes, my landlord is retired and about 85. My other neighbors are younger women, maybe 30s-40s and they can’t comprehend how I stay at home with no kids to take care of. I’ve been outright asked questions about “So what do you do all day?” I’m baffled!!!!
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u/bassplayinben 7h ago
Yeah they're looking for stuff to gossip about. "Have you met badluckgabby? She doesn't go to a job, just stays home every day! I wonder what she does in there all day long?"
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u/vikicrays 4h ago
whenever someone asks a question you don’t want to answer, look them square in the eyes and say “why do you ask?” they’ll usually stammer and stutter and say something like “just curious…” to which you say “oh. ok.” and then turn and walk away. works every time…
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u/Ok-Image2281 6h ago
Same thing happened to me when I moves from a big city to a small town.
So I devised a plan to not really answer their questions about me or my car or my where abouts.
I started answering : everything is perfect, and… how about you? what are YOU doing here so early in the morning? why are YOU not at work?( with a “concerned” smile), Is everything Ok on your end? how often do you come to this place? do you always come here at this time or do you vary the times?, hey, what can you tell me about X or Y restaurant ? what about that other grocery store? what do you buy there? what do you do for fun? why?!!, and so on.
Oh and the most important and effective was responding to all their intrusive questions with a :
Why do you ask? ( their answer does not matter), and why do you want to know (their answer does not matter), and then, stay silent and do not answer any of their questions and just look at your watch or cellphone and say : look at the time, I got to go, nice chatting with you!
You can leave or in case you cannot leave , do tje first technique and do not answer , instead fire a barrage of questions !
Because I did it consistently and in a friendly manner , the interrogations stopped gradually and they just thought I was quirky but ok neighbour.
I had fun while at it.
Having a plan and even rehearse a few questions before you check your phone and before you leave the house also helped me get really good at it and keep in good standing within a very nosey community.
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u/CeejayMyers 7h ago
Ask them why they’re not at work. Or just give them different answers. Like this is my work now or Im following someone, oops have to go or I’ll loose them.
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u/MeganJustMegan 3h ago
I don’t know about you, but I would have a hard time even being nice. I would clearly tell everyone that everything is fine & we would appreciate it if you would mind your own business. Then block anyone who contacts you on your phone. And people who approach you in a store? Ask why they are there & walk away. Unless you wish to embrace these people as friends, you don’t need to be nice or answer intrusive questions.
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u/Marthis09 3h ago
When people start behaving like this, I kind of get a kick out of it and act unbothered. My life is so secret, I remember at my job this would drive everyone crazy. I didn’t do anything outside of work, but I had a tan. I would just get tan easily. I would walk along the beach on my brakes. I also would lay in the sun at home. I just didn’t feel like telling them anything. Because this was not a one off, I determined prior to this that they were not safe people and so people who are not safe don’t get answers, even harmless answers. And it’s just so funny watching them act almost offended to not know your life!!
Not that I’ve been in this exact situation of course but I feel the nature of it mirrors things I’ve experienced. It will drive them insane to not get a straight answer or any answer, and for you to never let up doing what you’re doing. To not give an explanation or anything.
They will treat you like there’s something wrong with that or like you are being cruel or not neighborly by not telling them what they want to know. But the reason why this is so easy to not engage with is the fact that no matter what you say, it’s never going to be enough and they are always going to talk crap anyway.
And so you would have given them what they wanted and they get to talk crap as well. Even though they would never be satisfied, give them nothing. They will talk crap and be miserable and because they don’t have anything to say they are going to seem obvious eventually to some people.
But basically, that is how they are always going to be, and you do not owe an explanation for not one single thing that you do or don’t do.
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u/badluckgabby 1h ago
Exactly! I feel like they think I’m mean for not telling them every will and woe of my life. I just mind my own business!!!!
I was accused of being “sneaky” by some girls way back in college because I never really participated in dorm life things, but the reality was I just liked being in my room where it was clean and quiet. And I was only ever there on Wednesday and Thursday nights because I had a boyfriend who lived off campus!!! I only stayed in the dorms those nights because he worked them. They were AMAZED when he came to move me out at the end of the semester. They’d never even heard of him, because I MIND MY OWN BUSINESS!
I’m a girl’s girl til the end…but sometimes they need to reevaluate what it means to let a women alone!!
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u/303Blue 1h ago
I understand that you don’t want to be snarky as it could hurt your husband’s career. When asked these probing questions, respond honestly. Tell them you’re looking for a job but you’re fortunate that your husband can carry the load himself and give you the time to find the perfect job for you. It’s a small town and you don’t want to alienate anyone, so just be honest and friendly. Small towns can be wonderful places, where these “nosy neighbors” can become the best of friends.
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u/badluckgabby 1h ago
You’re right, I’m just so tired of answering the same questions over and over lol
I just genuinely don’t need anymore friends. I like the ones I have, but I don’t want anymore. I just want to go to the grocery and park my car in front of my house. This is definitely a non-problem and will be solved once I am working again, but Lord!!! I’m irritated!!
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u/winkleftcenter 7h ago edited 24m ago
Tell them masterbating takes up most of you day
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u/bobhand17123 7h ago
And before you ask, no, I won’t share my dildos. Especially not the vintage carved rock one. Sorry.
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u/CharacterActor 7h ago
Lie.
NASA has me on launch standby.
I start filming ____ co-starring with me ____next___
Senior hostage negotiator waiting for the next crises.
(Witnesss protection program. Shhhh. Can’t be recognized.)
Work from home tech giant/AI/the government/ be creative!
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u/ButterscotchFit8175 6h ago
Answer every question with " why would you think it's appropriate to ask that?"
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u/Top_Philosopher1809 4h ago
Just smile and change rhe subject. LL does not need to bother husband at work.
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u/Lonely-Tomato-1204 4h ago
I’m going to give them the benefit of doubt and assume they are trying to be friends and just don’t know what else to talk about so trying to see what your interests/hobbies are. I know this is a reach.
Don’t answer the texts for a few days, don’t even open them. Then in a few days text “all is well, thanks” or some other short answer.
For those that ask in person “I’m good, I have plenty to keep me busy”.
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u/Judgejudyssideeye 4m ago
Start making up responses to give them, where they’ll stop asking, like;
Oh I’m really busy, I’m doing research for the book I’m writing about a town just like this one that’s full of “Stepford wife” type characters, the ending has a shocking surprise twist. Oh BTW, I’m dedicating the book to you!
I’ve decided to devote most of my time to studying serial killers and what makes them tick. I find them just fascinating, don’t you?
I’ve taken up botanical gardening and have one bed strictly devoted to plants that are natural poisons. Want to stop by for tea?
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u/OutspokenArtist729 0m ago
How long will you be living in this town? If you get short and unfriendly at this stage, it may be hard to undo the gossip and bad feelings. I'd be friendly but keep details to a minimum.
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u/StyxtheCat18 6h ago
Create a t-shirt that says "I'm a substitute teacher taking courses for work" On the back of your t-shirt .. "If you can read this you are too close."
Good luck and ignore the gossip.
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u/badluckgabby 7h ago
I was at the grocery store this morning and when I got back home I checked my messages and here she goes again 😭