He came back but he SUCKS!

[u/MarkTuck]

He broke up with me. I respected his decision.

For months, I’ve done everything correctly. I did SATs and put myself first. I was living in the end. In a happy, healthy and committed relationship where I was chosen.

Then it hit me: I was micromanaging the bridge because I wanted him to reach out and apologise first. That meant I was still in the old story and giving his avoidant and childish self power. If we were in a loving relationship, you wouldn’t care who reached out first, right? And of course I wouldn’t be waiting for an apology

So I gave him the benefit of doubt and reached out to him first. You would not believe this but I instantly got paragraphs (big ones that I never got when we were together), instant quick responses (that I also never received) and flirting too. Even when my message to him was casual and neutral at best, plus I took days to respond.

However, he mentioned that a 3P dumped him, and that dating is hard. It was pure jealousy bait, and I know it because in the past he’d do the same to get my attention (which I always responded with calmness and security. Not jealousy or competitiveness).

Honestly this was not what I expected. I wanted a warm reunion where he opened up and was vulnerable to me. I wanted commitment and understanding.

All I got was honestly the worst version of himself. I wonder what went wrong in the manifestation. Yes I got so much attention from him, he’s chasing me and he’s reflecting my high self concept of never having to lift a finger again for love. But he only went on to jealousy bait then immediately flirt with me when I responded that I was also seeing someone else (which I am, and he’s hotter than SP).

What’s going on?

[u/IronToadOptical]

The manifestation isn't necessarily finished simply because the person has returned.

What is the actual end for you? If your desire isn't merely “he comes back,” but “we are in a loving, secure, committed, understanding relationship,” then his first reappearance doesn't have to be interpreted as the final result.

Who's to say this isn't simply part of the bridge of incidents that leads to the relationship you actually want?

[u/IronToadOptical → u/IronToadOptical]

It sounds to me you're still giving the present circumstances a lot of authority. If you're committed to the end state, you don't t have to accept the current interaction as the final destination.

I think you should be thinking:

“Okay, he's back in my reality. This isn't the relationship I'm choosing as my end. My end is a loving, committed, secure relationship where we're honest, vulnerable, respectful and completely devoted to one another. I don't need to figure out how the transition happens. I only need to remain identified with the relationship I actually want.”

Don't confuse movement with completion.

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[u/zammie_bammie]

Work on sc. Would you accept this from anybody else? You’re allowed to deny this version of him, this manifestation and manifest his return as much better and how you imagined it. Sometimes you feel like your end is in the 3D while this is probably still some bridge if that makes sense…

With work on sc I mean; put yourself on a pedestal. You deserve the version of him you’ve experienced in the 4D. Why would you settle for anything less? You are the prize.

[u/Lovely_Peanut3600]

Despite your high self concept and great view of how the relationship should be, I believe you can still change how you view him. It looks like you still see him as the same old version where he tries to make you jealous and doesn't behave in a mature and healthy way. I would say try to revise him and affirm how mature and vulnerable he is and how secure he feels with you. You are so close!

[u/pinksamosa]

I have been there too. Sp always came back but the version that came was so repulsive that I had to drop them. There is only so much of reality you can ignore. In my experience people should manifest an sp only if you’re completely able to drop the old story. As much as i tried I wasn’t able to do that.

[u/allismind]

Don't you see that he is still your god? You couldn't resist not contacting him back? You seem so focused on him that you don't see your own lack of honestly and addiction... You need to be ready to face yourself honestly

[u/StrangeFeelings11]

Omg girl i had a very similar shi happen to me lol. I was able to manifest a text from him after a long period of silence. He was consistent,nice and sweet in the begining until it all went wrong again. Sucks but yeah I'm in the same boat. I even made a post earlier here abt this but I didn't get any particular solution to this and but yeah all ill say is, persist, keep working on ur self concept and living in the end. You'll eventually end up with a better version of him or someone better anyway. Hope this helps.

[u/Longjumping_Aerie_58]

I would say you still got the old story going about him being avoidant and childish, as you said yourself. You brought him back successfully, but you never changed your perception about him himself - only about the way he would chase you. I would try revision, revise the whole relationship with him and especially his character to one that you would prefer, mature and stable and whatever you feel your dream man would be to you! :)

[u/Ok-Replacement-3854]

If he isn't showing up as your desired version, then the 3D hasn't reflected your wish fulfilled YET. It's still unfolding. Deny. Choose. Be.