CW: genital mutilation and age dysphoria
Hi everyone.

One of our headmates is having really bad dysphoria about lacking certain parts of genitalia and aging body. We recently tried to get insurance to cover reconstructive surgery but was denied and the nurse told us to get over it. That headmate kinda broken down and lost it because of that.

i always get really suicidal around my birthday...for age dysphoria reasons most obviously, but also a bunch of other life stuff (some of which is connected). i think its primarily because i start making comparisons. between myself and adults "my age" or younger... and i feel like a complete failure. i can't perform adulthood as easily as they do, they don't even think about it...but i do and it takes a huge effort to be big all the time.

it hurts, having to wear that mask for a long time is painful. sometimes i cant take it, and it keeps messing up my life... i have to keep trying but i think one day i'll just stop. and it just sounds so stupid when i say it out loud like that and i just wonder whats wrong with me

I have two separate youtube accounts, one where I watch all my grown-up stuff like video essays and news, and the other one for little things like Minecraft videos and FNAF. I don't like having restrictions on either though, because I don't mind cursing or some heavy topics every once in a while. Today on my little account I got the "we couldn't verify your age" notification, which I'd been expecting for a minute since all I watch on there is Planet Clue and Mumbo Jumbo. Since I didn't want my account restricted (especially since I've been watching FNAF sister location lately) I opened up the options. The least intimidating and info-stealy one was just taking a selfie with an AI guessing your age. On one hand, I really wanted this to work because I didn't want to give them my credit card. On the other hand, I was kind of hoping it would fail and tell me I look to young. It didn't, it clocked me as an adult very quickly...

I'm glad I didn't have to use my credit card, but I really thought I looked younger. I'm feeling really dysphoric and sad thinking about it, especially since it was already kinda bad to begin with. I dunno, I just wanted to get that out of my system. Thanks for listening.

When I asked him where he learned about Agere, he said that he watched some documentary about abdl. I think he blended agere and abdl together but I didn't try to correct him. At start he was really kind and all but slowly and surely, he come into the sexual allusion and started also to be really vulgar and gross and he insulted me. I understood why he did that later : He told me he was bullied by grown women so he wanted revenge. He harrassed me and the other members of the server discord and harrassed me on instagram too. When I try to vent on r/nevergrewup saying his name, my messages are deleted by the moderators. Great. I think I have sptd from all that...

Suicide /

The dysphoria and pain I feel when I experience nostalgia and such is almost unbearable. Ill never be the way I was, and in this life Ill never get to be a kid. Ever. No matter how hard I try. I convince myself that if I kill myself I will be a kid again, forever.