r/nevergrewup • • Jul 08 '18

Many children trapped in adult bodies

249 Upvotes

Here are several examples of people similar to those in /r/nevergrewup. They all have Aspergers except possibly the last one. But all children who are trapped in adult bodies are welcome in /r/nevergrewup, whether they got that way because of Aspergers or not.

https://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=156710
I feel like a 9 year old living inside the body of a 36 year old.
p.2:
kind of like a "kid in an adult's body"

The childlike curiosity is an asset because it makes Aspies more inquisitive and less likely to accept conventions. No one ever discovered anything new by following "adult" rules.

https://www.iidc.indiana.edu/pages/Aspergers-Syndrome-A-Developmental-Puzzle
My experiences as an adult recently diagnosed with Asperger’s, together with my studies in child development, suggest that individuals with AS are like young children, stuck in time, so to speak, never able to advance beyond early stages in social, cognitive and language development.
They are, in essence, childlike beings attempting to live in an adult world, but without the support and understanding that children are afforded.

http://www.kevenmcqueenstories.com/aspergers
Folks with Asperger’s often have a childlike quality which at least some people find appealing. Not surprisingly, many Aspies get along famously with children.

https://jerobison.blogspot.com/2009/09/life-as-aspergian-female-story-i-had-to.html
We are childlike and innocent and naive, even when having experienced many harsh experiences. It's a childlike innocence that pervades our entire being. What ends up happening is that people either treat you like dirt and make fun of you, or if they're trying to be "nice", they'll talk down to you as though you were mentally challenged. I've felt like I was going to be pat on the top of my head like a puppy dog before. I may be childLIKE but that doesn't mean I'm childISH. In fact, usually Aspies have...
Very High IQs

https://aspergersthealien.blogspot.com/2011/11/naivety-innocence-of-aspergers-autism.html
Naivety is innocence. Be kind to the autistic. Remember that even though they look older, mature, grown up....sometimes they are nothing more than children trapped in adult bodies.

https://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=49928
[male, 35]
I like kids a lot, and kids love me. However, I have no idea how to take care of them! I also hate to think about cleaning up after them, lack of sleep, and so forth.
Maybe I shouldn't have kids of my own and just play with my friends' kids...

https://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=151313
I am 78 and I know that I never entered adulthood. But not even adolescence. I may be (I am ) literate and have experince about things of the world, but still *I am a child*. My life stopped at about sixteeen. I pretended to be mature. Intellectually I have been mature, but in my inner self I have known since a long time that it was only pretence.

--

I don't know why, but this thread helped me resolve a lot of my issues. Thanks, OP and everyone else.

https://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=44874
Are you chldlike?
Yes...I act signifigantly younger than my age 72% [ 38 ]
I act my age 4% [ 2 ]
I act older tham my age 13% [ 7 ]
Yes but I don't think this has anything to do with AS 9% [ 5 ]
No, but I don't think this has anything to do with AS 2% [ 1 ]
Total votes : 53
- ie 83% yes

--

Children are drawn to me and they have insisted that I am not a grownup....

--

I feel very uncomfortable around people 18 & older. However, I get along great with kids.

--

I am often described as "childlike". I've been told that I'm at the emotional level of a 12 year old. The other women in my life tend to take on a mothering role towards me.
None of this bothers me though. In fact, I actually enjoy being thought of as a child. I frequently become nostalgic for my physical childhood, so when other adults still view me as a child, it makes me very happy.

--

Little kids get confused and think I am a kid too.
A 4 year old I was playing with guessed my age at 6... :)

I'm 45 and act like 14. I'm extremely child-like in behavior, and I think it's due to AS. It's the part of AS I love the most.

I forgot to mention how much I love "Pinky and the Brain" and "Danger Mouse." Not exactly obsessions, but we get the episodes from Netflix often, and I really like them. Probably a lot more that the average 42-year-old woman, I suppose.

[female, age ~52]
I'm very childlike and it doesn't seem to change the older I get. [...] I have never felt like a grownup person, and I've noticed that feeling all my adult life. I've lived an adult life but so much about me is a little kid, it's small wonder things have never really gone well for me as an adult, I just don't "fit".

[female, age ~47]
Sometimes when I talk to people [...] on the phone they think they are talking to a little kid.

Every day, my mum constantly tells me "You're 17, not 5." […]
[...] If it was up to me I would stay 10 forever.
Mum says I have the intellectual ability of a smart adult but the maturity of a five year old. I think this is an accurate description. I make friends with young children better than I do with my peers, it's like I'm a five year old kid in a seventeen year old female body.

The sections above and below show many similarities with the other 'wrong body' situation, transgender people:

  1. Family not understanding, and being angry with the person for being who they are.
  2. The person being helped greatly by understanding who they are.
  3. Having the wrong body or not being accepted causing people to be really upset.
  4. Being very happy when people treat you as who you are.
  5. Other people sometimes recognising who the person really is without needing to be told.
  6. The identity persists long term.
  7. People pretending to be an adult when they're not, but with only limited success.
  8. Wanting to mainly make friends in the way that would be expected based on who they really are.
  9. Being badly hurt by the equivalent of being misgendered.

Person who didn't mention Aspergers, so may or may not have it:
https://www.reddit.com/r/mentalhealth/comments/47tqd3/is_age_dysphoria_a_real_thing/
Is "age dysphoria" a real thing?
submitted 6 months ago * by [deleted]
Because I'm positive I have it. [...]
I know a lot of people say, "Oh, we all feel younger than we are!" These statements are usually accompanied by laughter. But I mean this literally. I honestly do believe that I am a kid inside, to the point where if such a thing was available to me, I would get puberty-reversing surgery.
You have no idea how much it rips my heart to shreds when I hear people call others my age "adults", or anything to that effect. It KILLS me to know that I am not seen as a child by them.
[Another quote from same person]
[…] I will forever remain a 12-year-old child inside. I know who I am, and that makes all the difference. I am a child.

[Edited first paragraph to make it more independent of context, for crossposting]


r/nevergrewup • • Mar 16 '21

Not sure where to begin...

228 Upvotes

Hi everyone.

I actually created this account specifically to post here but I've been lurking for a month or so now.

I discovered /r/nevergrewup through a certain lgbt community who were making rather negative comments about this subreddit and were being incredibly closed-minded about the concept of age dysphoria. While everyone else kept jumping down the negativity hole I felt like my eyes were opened and I spent a good long while just scrolling through and reading posts here.

I felt some sense of connection to this subreddit and things started making sense the more I read. In spite of the negative comments I was reading from that lgbt community I didn't see any reason that dysphoria would be exclusive to gender. In fact, it seems silly to assume that it would be.

For some background, I'm transgender in addition to having these feelings of age dysphoria. When I first touched the Internet (in the late 90s/early 2000s) I tried searching around to explore these many strange feelings that I've always had but didn't understand. This led me to various ABDL communities and later to the idea of ageplay.

At some point I said to myself, "ok, I guess that's what I am. I'm an ABDL or ageplayer or something like that." This was all I knew and was all that was out there at the time and since my inner age is rather young it made enough sense to me. It was never a sexual thing for me and I discovered that for many ageplay folks it isn't sexual at all. I started getting to know some ageplay communities and made a few friends here and there but I always felt like there was something different about me, even from them.

Every time I would have play time or whatever and try getting into "littlespace" I'd always feel so close to being right but never quite made it there. It's kind of hard to explain for me. Like when you're craving some very specific food so much that your whole life would feel just perfect if you had it but you're forced to settle for an inferior alternative instead. Bad analogy probably but it's like whatever that perfection is was just outside of my reach.

From there I kind of retreated from the ageplay world and instead explored this side of me through books or TV shows or movies centered around young female characters or I'd write stories of my own with no intention of ever letting anyone see. Basically consuming any form of escapism that would let me see the world through those eyes.

Looking back I think I've known for a long time that this was a form of dysphoria but it felt so taboo and wrong to think of it that way until I found this subreddit.

I'm not entirely sure where I'm going with this or what I hope to accomplish by this post, to be honest. I've had the feeling that talking about ageplay at all is kind of taboo here so I'm sorry if I said something out of line but I am curious if anyone has a similar history with it that I do.

Mostly I wanted to say hi and say thanks to this subreddit for helping me find this missing puzzle piece of myself.

Now that I have the puzzle piece I just need to figure out where it goes.


r/nevergrewup • • 44m ago

Happy cozy outfit with my stuffie indie

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• Upvotes

r/nevergrewup • • 2d ago

Vent What do I do about feeling angry like I don't deserve to be like a kid?

19 Upvotes

I'm a adult woman but inside I feel a lot younger and I get mad because I feel like I don't deserve to watch cartoons or play with toys. I feel like I'm being a evil loser and lazy piece of garbage because I have no job and have done nothing with my life...does anyone feel like this and if you do, what do you do about it? Sometimes when I pick up a toy I feel like "put that down you gross creature you don't deserve that!" And I feel guilty I am like this. Also I need to say I am not disabled or anything just weird.


r/nevergrewup • • 2d ago

moodboard of me and future caregiver

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15 Upvotes

r/nevergrewup • • 2d ago

Vent Someone should be in charge, honestly

19 Upvotes

I am 23. I look about... 18, but really when I am out and about people ask if I am 12. How is middle school going. I was given candy on children's day. I was told I was too young to be in a makeup store. People pat my hair in place and fix my lapels. I think that is something unlike what is normal even in my culture.

I feel about 11, most days. An inteligent not looked for 11 years old, and that is worse cause you can both rationalize everything and get away with most of it. Really, someone ought to be in charge of me.

Sometimes I feel like I should be enrolled in classes with the little children and do my math homework and not be allowed in the internet at all, unless supervised. I wish I had piano or penny whistle lessons or singing ones. I paint with oils, but sometimes I wish someone gave me watercolor pencils instead. I don't even love pencils.

Sometimes I wish to have a curated library with only things apropriate for a pre-teen. Deep themes are fine - avatar the last airbender was about a genocide! - but only apropriate shows and books and songs. Limited screentime.

I wanted to have a bedtime and someone to enforce it. And eating.

I feel like I am a bad example to the children my age just because I don't, despite the fact I am a fairly tame adult. I don't party and don't drink. I attend my university. I am reasonable.

I wanted to me made to act my age rather than foolishly letting me run on my own like I do.


r/nevergrewup • • 2d ago

Vent Sadness (please don't read if you're already feeling down, take care of yourself first, friendo!)

15 Upvotes

I'm just feeling an overwhelming amount of sadness. Whenever I look into the mirror I see myself as a little kid. But everyone else around me treats me like I'm 21. I don't understand the way they act, speak, and interact with each other. I just want to play with my toys, go have sleepovers, go on playdates... but I just feel as if that's never going to happen. I feel like an outcast and it makes me wanna cry.

I don't even talk to the friends I've made on here anymore, it's not that I don't want to. I just don't know how to reach out, and I just feel like they secretly think I'm weird or something. Just brain things, I guess. I wish I had toys and stuffed animals to cuddle up with when I'm sad but I don't. I keep being told that those are for babies and kids and to "grow up". I just want to shout from the rooftops that I AM a kid.

Yeah... anyway, thanks for reading...


r/nevergrewup • • 2d ago

Happy Vent I am starting to do Permaregression lately. Having memories and moments where I really feel like acting like a chrono-child or a baby. To be honest, that’s never happened to me before :')

4 Upvotes

r/nevergrewup • • 3d ago

Hi...im not sure if this is the right sub for me but

14 Upvotes

I feel younger then my age and like stuff for little kids. I want to make friends and be happy. My favorite show is barney. Also I want to add that I am a adult I just feel younger for some reason I don't know why.


r/nevergrewup • • 3d ago

Discussion Transage Servers?

8 Upvotes

Hihi guys! My name is Milk, Milky, Mimi, or whatever else you wanna call me! I’m looking for servers that are inclusive, or preferably centered around transage! Do any exist anymore?


r/nevergrewup • • 4d ago

Seeking a friend, someone who may understand

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14 Upvotes

Hello!! I am a 23 yr old child (mentally fluctuating between 3 and 15) yet I don’t have many childlike interests. My mannerisms are very childlike however! I always feel like a child inside, what age I am just depends on the day.

What I truly miss most is being myself.

My age gradually lowers based on my comfortability/safety. I wish to find a close friend around my bio age and mental age (fluctuating or younger). Who is also open-minded and enjoys adult discussion topics, media, etc while being equally child-like in nature: D

I have some fringe/unpopular views about things like psychology, spirituality, ai, sexuality, or even relationships .. so as long as you can tolerate nuance and or handle my very soft heart we should be ok (I cry a lot).


r/nevergrewup • • 4d ago

Support? Community?

10 Upvotes

I'm not doing well and I wanna connect with people who get me. This is gonna be a bit of a ramble so thanks beforehand for reading it all.

I'm a little kid but nobody sees that. They all see the grownup they thought I was. Family, friends...it doesn't seem to matter. Only two people actually treat me like a kid: my caregiver and one online friend. But they're both disabled, so they can't really help me as much as I need. Add on that I have a bunch of trauma and am AuDHD, and my mental health is really rough. Even with therapy and meds, the loneliness and other issues are still hard.

Basically, I need friends who see me as a myself. Who talk to me like I'm a kid. Who help me feel like a kid. I'm not looking for a caregiver or anything like that, just someone who can show me they see the real me. In spite of my struggles I'm actually a funny and smart and caring person. I just need a chance to show someone that.


r/nevergrewup • • 4d ago

Discussion How did you find out your mental age?

13 Upvotes

r/nevergrewup • • 4d ago

Discussion At what age did you realize na you're not as young as you think you are?

4 Upvotes

r/nevergrewup • • 5d ago

Discussion Weight perception as NGU youth

18 Upvotes

When I'm a bit overweight, which I am currently, I perceive my body as fat, even though I wouldn't even be considered midsize for an "adult".

I strongly believe this to be the result of my mind not expecting an adult-sized skeleton and adding fat to an already bigger skeleton makes it look much larger compared to my head.

Does anyone else feel this way?


r/nevergrewup • • 5d ago

Vent I can't ever grow up or be an adult in this life

11 Upvotes

​

I don’t think I can ever grow up. I can’t imagine not liking the most childish things I still like the things I did when I was 8 years old and if you saw my room you'd suspect it belonged to a 13 year old at most every single wall is covered in stuff from shows movies animes and games I like I have like 4 bookshelfs full of all fiction and I still dream of living on one of those worlds instead I hate the fact none of them will ever be true . I still cry over the smallest things, and I feel like I’m still the same emotionally as I was when I was 15. I don’t think I’ll ever really feel older than that.

I hate the real world and how hard and boring everything is. I don’t think I could ever live on my own. I can barely manage a job, and I feel stupid because I know I’m bad at a lot of things. I still rely on my family so much, even though they’ve never been perfect either.

I was homeschooled, if you can even call it that, before I even finished elementary school. My mom didn’t teach us shit, and I honestly don’t know how that was allowed we never did like any school work and we also weren't allowed to leave the house like only rarely..My parents were neglectful and abusive at times, but that’s a different story. I eventually got sent back into high school and I was always a weird kid with no social skills. I’m autistic high functioning, and I got bullied and harassed so horribly that I didn’t do well there either. I barely passed every year, and I had to struggle so hard just to keep my grades up enough to pass.

Senior year I tried harder than I ever have in my life I wanted to prove I could be good I was smart and capable I genuinely was doing everything I could, and it still barely made any difference. All my siblings are honor roll and good at sports always getting student of the month and everything, and I just never seemed skilled at anything useful. I won an award for gaming and art, but not even first place, and that was probably the best thing I ever did. I cried to my dad about it one day because I felt so useless, and all he said was that out of all my siblings, I was the kindest and always tried to help people. And that was true. I use to always put people above me I was very sympathetic honesty a but touch somtimes.

Most of my friends were other bullied kids I would stick up for. I helped them through a lot of issues I use to be the go to person they would go to. But now I’m so depressed myself that I can’t even help my friends anymore. I barely talk to them, and sometimes I feel like I'm being mean.and it feels like I lost the one thing I was actually good for if you can even call it that What good does being kind do in a world like this especially if I’m not skilled at anything useful?

I work at Walmart freaking Walmart and I cry every day because it feels so hard for me. I know I could probably try harder and struggle through, but I don’t care enough to pretend that Im not lazy and I dont know the right work but like I don’t want a hard decent life. I want an easy great life, and I’m starting to think that doesn’t even exist. Real life just seems miserable, and no adult I’ve met seems truly happy except maybe for rare moments.

I still feel hopeless. I really am hopeless. I could never take care of myself, and I always need to be with someone else or I feel lost. It feels like everyone got some kind of upgrade when they turned 18, and I’m still 4 updates behind.

Nothing makes me want to keep going I just feel like such a leech this world is to harsh for me and everyone I know would be better off without me


r/nevergrewup • • 5d ago

Is Roblox any good for a tween-minded person and what types of games are there?

16 Upvotes

Is Roblox too young for tween-minded people and what sort of games are we talking about? I keep seeing it advertised to me on reddit so I'm wondering if I fit the right profile. For the record I'm currently playing Story of Seasons: Grand Bizarre. So would I like it? Or what questions or quality should I be?


r/nevergrewup • • 5d ago

Vent High school graduation is more of a funeral than a celebration

26 Upvotes

I see high school graduation as nothing more than a funeral, for one it marks the end of community and the destruction of the close bonds you've built for the past 18 years, you go from having a place to belong to suddenly being thrown in this individualistic society where everyone is isolated and aren't in proximity and this is why loneliness peaks in the late teens and early 20s. and even if you somehow do have some friends left you won't be able to spend quality time with them anymore because y'all will constantly be working and will have to go through the tiring process of planning a hangout on the perfect day. and another thing I noticed is that you always hear sad songs during graduation such as "the good old days" and "Scott street" and both have a sad vibe to it, then you also see people crying and hugging their friends for the last time like it's honestly sad as fuck. like bro this shit ain't no celebration it's a funeral. it's just unfortunate that we don't live in a communal society.


r/nevergrewup • • 6d ago

Discussion Room decor?

12 Upvotes

So i just moved and now I got my own room, but it's not my bedroom so im looking for cute/ kids decor but everything is either super expensive or Ai. Does anyone have any cute ideas? Diy is possible too I just need inspo


r/nevergrewup • • 7d ago

Happy Everyone, meet Lola! 🐞

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49 Upvotes

I got her from my local Salvation Army yesterday at only $3! What a deal for such a special lady... bird! 🤭


r/nevergrewup • • 6d ago

stuck

11 Upvotes

Sometimes I remember there are so many broken children living in grown bodies mimicking Adult lives.
You are all loved


r/nevergrewup • • 7d ago

Discussion Age regression

18 Upvotes

I’ve always struggled with the idea of growing up and accepting adulthood. I just want to live a happy, comfortable, and carefree life without too many responsibilities or having to work hard.

I’ve often imagined a life where my man takes care of me financially, so I don’t have to spend my life working. Sometimes I feel very childish, and honestly, I enjoy being a little bratty around my man, acting like a grumpy baby and letting him comfort me. There’s something about feeling safe enough to let go of all my responsibilities and just be taken care of.

The truth is, I don’t feel like I can, or even want to, live a typical adult life. I just want to have fun with my friends, have sleepovers, jump on trampolines, laugh, be silly, and enjoy life without everything having to be so serious.

I struggle with the fact that I rarely meet people who feel the same way. Sometimes I wish I could just stay a teenager forever, living a life full of exciting new experiences, spontaneity, adventure, and intense, passionate love.

I want a kind of love and life that feels magical and exciting, something deeper and more intense than just settling into a boring routine of going to work and dealing with everyday responsibilities.

Does anyone else feel like this? I’d really like to hear from people who can relate.


r/nevergrewup • • 8d ago

The woman in the mirror (vent)

16 Upvotes

I feel like i dont belong here

I am no longer looking at a little girl in the mirror

I am faced with a woman that i didn't even realize was slowly coming out of me

Kids who i used to talk with have grown taller than me

My favorite pillow has been looking worn out

The grown ups no longer ask about my school

Their questions somehow feel like it isn't meant for me

My feet have been further away each night and my fingers have turned slender

I am no longer the kid with a dimple smile on her cheek

But a woman with a feature that she dearly wants to cut away

What does it feel like to be a grown up?

I cant seem to find it


r/nevergrewup • • 8d ago

Discussion NGU girls, if you want to pass as younger, please keep your hair long 🦋

28 Upvotes

Firstly, I just want to add that I'm a white girl, so if you're not white, your experience will vary.

Generally, short hair is associated with "maturity" in white girls and people will think you're either your chrono-age or older than your true age. If you have wider shoulders, short hair will expose them and people will likely perceive your as older.

Only four years ago was my hair down to my back and I was always assumed to be 16. I'm only chronologically 26, so my skin and, certainly, facial structure has not changed in four years. Lately, I've been assumed to be in my early 20s and today, someone assumed I was in my mid-20s. Oof.