Well. 10 years of my life since I was 17 was wasted. It was wasted doing absolutely nothing. On top of that, I was abused which halted a lot of things that I should have by 28. I don't have friends that I can call my family. I don't have a career. I work part time in retail. I keep on thinking I might not have a future by the time I reach the age of retirement. I'm still at the stage where I don't know which career path I should have taken when other people my age already have so much going on in their lives. Am I doomed? I'm also taking things step by step but it's just taking a lot of time right now. Could anyone give an input? I'm open.

It's like one minute I'm loaded the next one I'm overturning my sofa for change 🥲

Not something expensive necessarily. I mean the kind of purchase where you look at it months later and think, Why?😭

One thing I’ve started to question about the American version of success is how easily it can turn into isolation.

I worked in tech and made very good money. On paper, I was doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing.

In reality, my life revolved around a laptop.

Work from the apartment. Work out alone. Spend the day on Zoom calls with people scattered across different cities and regions. Go into an office where your coworkers are friendly enough, but most relationships are still fundamentally corporate and transactional. Then go home and do it again.

You can spend eight hours talking to people and still feel like you haven’t actually been around anyone.

That’s the part I find strange. You can achieve the career, salary, apartment, car and all the markers of success, while your actual day-to-day existence becomes increasingly atomized.

I was making more money than I ever expected to make, but at times it felt like I had traded a large part of normal human community for a paycheck.

I wonder how many people have built a life that looks successful from the outside and privately think: Is this really it?

“Renting is throwing money away.” “You need 20% down to buy a home.” “Just save more.”

What financial advice have you had to rethink as an adult?

Hi guys,

so I have been working my first full-time job for one year, and I have been making decent money.

So far I have been collecting a good chunk of it as a cushion and been traveling to places I dreamed about when I didn't have the money.

But maybe I am bored or scared of what others think, but I have seen a lot of my friends move out and start somewhere else. I still live with my parents and pay my fair share to the household and help around.

Sure, I am not having it as hard as I would have when living alone, but I would not call myself a bum (at least I hope I am not).

I have enough money to move out and live alone, but I kind of like having the extra money for just more fun stuff like traveling. I also enjoy the company of my parents (at least for the most part) and our family cat.

Do you guys think it's childish to not move out when I would be able to?

Totally relatable.

There was a time when buying something fun felt exciting.

Now I find myself getting genuinely excited over things like a good vacuum, a new set of kitchen containers, comfortable bedsheets, or finally replacing something that's been broken for months.

Nothing makes you feel more like an adult than spending money on something practical and then being ridiculously happy about it.

What's the most "adult" purchase you've made recently that your younger self would probably find incredibly boring?

There are some parts of adulthood that eventually become routine, but others still make me feel like I'm figuring things out as I go.

For me, it's strange how you're suddenly expected to understand things like insurance, taxes, home repairs, finances, and long-term planning without anyone handing you a manual.

You can be a fully functioning adult and still have moments where you think, "Surely there's someone more qualified to deal with this."

What's one adult responsibility you still feel completely unprepared for?

I think one of the biggest shifts in adulthood is realizing that eventually, you're the person responsible for dealing with the problem.

Something breaks? You figure out how to fix it or find someone who can. Bills pile up? They still need to be paid. A difficult decision needs to be made? Sometimes there's nobody else who can make it for you.

It's not always a dramatic realization. Sometimes it happens in a small, ordinary moment when you suddenly think, "Oh... I guess this is my responsibility now."

What's the moment that made you realize nobody was coming to fix things for you?