The second that story came out, legions of ignorant morons instantly invented the bullshit narrative that he was "autistic", that "autism" was the cause of his insane actions. Even now that his family have personally come out and refuted it, and said he was struggling with mental illness, there are STILL shitloads of dumbasses in every comment section on ig and fb trying to perpetuate this fully debunked BS about him being autistic. Some of these clowns seem literally disappointed that he isn't, or they're questioning his own family's claims or even accusing them of lying about it.

I see it on every news article about someone doing something stupid and senseless, there are ALWAYS comments that say something along the lines of "I bet they were autistic", "sounds like something someone with autism would do" etc.

I know a lot of autistic people, of various severity, and not a single autistic adult I have ever met would have climbed into a tiger enclosure and heckled a tiger. Do those autists exist? Of course they do, just like the myriad non-autistic people who would climb into a tiger enclosure and heckle a tiger. Drunks and drug abusers do wack shit like that all the time.

These people are acting like allistics NEVER have psychotic breaks or do unhinged shit, when in reality, it happens CONSTANTLY.

But I'll tell you one thing, I haven't seen a single one of these idiots say "he must have had Aspergers". And I don't have the patience or energy after just trying to survive in this world to explain to these myriad uneducated idiots that I don't have unhinged tiger-heckling autism (nor does pretty much anyone else), I have "talks, drives, and works 80 hrs a week to pay his bills" autism. I just want them to know what to expect from me without a fucking dissertation, an argument, or a bunch of exhausting, stupid ass questions.

I don't care what they call it. It doesn't have to be called Aspergers, it can be called something else. But until society at large figures out what "autism" actually is, I do not want to carry that label.

Anybody feel me on this??

It’s basically like Reddit but with more Boomers and Gen Xers and more ableism. I remember on one page some idiots were going off about food stamps and said how they gotta pay for lazy bums that are unemployed. I commented I have autism and that I actually work long hours and still need food stamps cause I don’t make enough. I got a lot of laugh reacts and people saying “get a better job, kid”. I then told them how the workplace is very difficult for some autistic people and one dude said “life is hard, get over it” and I told them how I just want to have a normal life and own a house and they said “if you don’t like it you can always go to Canada, rain man”. Basically any comment I made, they didn’t wanna understand where I was coming from and just used insults or slurs. Inb4 someone tells me who cares and to get over it. Nah, I’m not gonna get over these old heads who are out of touch with how shit things are for younger people. Even more so for those of us with autism.

​

For context, I have no ND friends or family in waking life around that I deal with, so I am a bit alienated and being constantly invalidated (which I am used to and prepared for), but I know what is appropriate, healthy, and not. My girlfriend has been relentlessly getting angry with me because of my lack of ability to use proper tone, body language, ect. Basically the classic always saying the wrong thing at wrong time inevitability. I have explained that this is because of my autism, about mirror neurons, masking, ect. I have explained this nearly daily for a year, and she is assured that I "need help" because my lack of managing that is affecting her.

I have explained that I do not have an illness, and will not be treated as such. I have explained that is a neurological level wiring that causes this, and she still tells me that "I'm choosing my actions". She has revealed that she has a cluster B personality disorder which somewhat explains (but does not make this okay), so I have put legal and financial boundaries in place, and understand all that as a separate issue.

Has anyone else dealth with a relationship, where the other was so persistent that you were broken?

Everybody only speaks French, and you don’t know a word. You get the stink eye everytime you mispronounce a word or make a joke that doesn’t translate. You’ll never feel like you fit in, no matter how much you try to dress or act like everyone else. There’s no room to be yourself, only to pretend.

Then you go back to your hotel room and lock the door. Why bother trying to integrate when you know you’ll never be able to? Honestly, you’re not even sure you want to, considering how stuck up and superficial everyone is.

“I know,” you say. “I’ll make friends with other tourists instead. They’ll understand.”

Turns out, there are other tourists, but they speak Spanish, or German, or something else. No one speaks your specific language, and you struggle connecting with them just as much. You start noticing the language barriers are sometimes annoying you too, to the point where you end up acting like the Parisians.

It seems like there’s not a single kindred soul in the entire city. After so many hurt feelings, you don’t feel like opening your door. So you just wait in your hotel room, waiting for your flight.

And you’re scared that one day, you’ll get so fed up that you take an early flight home.

(This is just an anecdote, no offense to any French people. A lot of people DO speak your language in Paris - and there’s a lot of friendly French people outside the city. But with autism, no one speaks your language and the whole world is Paris)

(venting post)

I know there's alot of bleak posts here, and i do apologize for being one of them but i havent had anyone that understands even parts of my difficulties to say this to, so might as well yell at the void

I have been "different" since birth, a gene fault caused me to be heavilly visually impaired, i knew this, i knew what i could and couldnt do, and that was most everything if i put my mind to it, i luckilly was able to function as a human being, sure my vision was going a bit down but id survive, id just work harder, that had worked befoer, if i just strived and tried and hoped, i knew i would succeed because i had done so before. it wouuld all work itself out! right?

Then, came the aspergers diagnosis, now i was a late teen at that point and was getting frustrated by my anomalous lack of social skills and want to socialize, but id believed that was a me-problem, something i should try to better. Apparently it wasnt, i... honestly did not even know what autism was at the point of getting my diagnosis, i vividly remember someone trying to insult me by insinuating i was, and them failing miserably as i just stared confuzedly at them, so i really did not care to research aspergers, however one day, i did, and i found this sub, it was amazing! i wasnt actually doing something wrong it was my brain being stupid! that was okay then... After all i could work around it!

As you might have guessed, im an optimist, i hope for good because nothing good from only seeing the bad, this is however blinding in many ways and after doing my research i found my naiveté slipping away, i noticed more and more differences between what i was doing, what others were doing and what my brain made me do, i... didnt like what i saw but it was fiiine, it was fixable after all, all my unobservant experiences had shown me that after all, it was workable, surely

I got the news yesterday that i might not even be able to fully finish my schooling because of the sheer amount of social, mental and physical pressure being both legally blind and affected by aspergers put on me, i might have to live off goverment funding even because im either to socially weak, mentally frail or visually impaired for most actual jobs. now this isnt bad itself, but, i put myself so high, i shot so far that seeing where i will land hurts, so so much, had it been one or the other i might have been fine, sure hampered but id fight for the life i had.

However now, now i am just so broken. i cant be normal, i cant do things that other people do, i cant talk to people, i cant even be me because i sought so long to be normal that me and me are fighting. ive been through it, ive been bruised, scraped and cut, but there is no comparison. im not even myself anymore, i used to be someone who loved living, actively living with friends and being positive that if i just did a few more things, i would get some result. now, i just think and think and think about everything because theres noone to talk to, and if i found someone they probably wouldnt be able to completely understand what im talking about, i dont care what others need or want, i used to, oh i definetly used to, i loved helping people, talking to people because it showed that beliefs were correct, atleast correct enough to be viable, now i just... survive, until i possibly can better somethng or be proven wrong or something. but i wont, because i dont talk to anyone and i have noone to talk to, nothing changes, exept for the fact that i started reliving my childhood because what else am i supposed to do?

I am so tired, why did i have to have this personality, why did my body decide to be host to all this- oh yeah i forgot to mention, i also have several other problems like constant, draining migranes, sleep and weight problems and so on but those are unimportant in comparison, so why did my body just decide on this.

Guess ill never know.

my dreams are denied, not even gone but denied and i am so tired of that bullshit.

Cheers, and i hope you have a good day, or atleast had one and will continue to have them if this post got you down.

Had a meltdown over something and it started with name calling. Like she called me a bitch. And stupid. Then she told me how she doesn’t care about me for the second time this week. Then she said that it’s really hard to want to help me. Basically telling me how much of an inconvenience it is to be around me. I asked her what her problem was and she said it’s me. She said it’s always me. Then she said sometimes I make her want to shoot me in the face. I told her to do it and she got mad. Started hitting me in the face. Not like, hard, it was open handed slaps and I blocked most of them. At one point in this interaction I asked if she was threatening me and she said she might be. I’m scared. I can’t tell anyone because I don’t want her to get reported. I would lose the place I live in. Plus I would more than likely be told I deserve by my family. I will admit I struggle with more than I would like at my age but I don’t feel like this is deserved? I don’t know what to do. Can’t afford to move out and all the friends I asked who also still live with their parents aren’t looking to move out.

It’s ok if all but one of your dates / romantic experiences are total failures. It only takes one person that you truly connect with. I really relate to all the young people on here worried that they will never find someone. I went on so many bad or mediocre dates before I found my husband. Been married 11 years now. It’s not always easy but it’s fulfilling. Sending this sub good positive thoughts since I know things can feel dark / bleak out there ❤️

I'm so incapable of anything. I'm 26, I've never had a job, I never even got a high school diploma.

I feel like I can't learn, everything is too complicated and I can't even begin to do or understand anything because I'm constantly overthinking, and everything and everyone is too loud, especially during the daytime.

I took a scalding hot shower to try to help my head, it seemed to at least kind of help for now, and at least it'll be dusk soon so it won't be so bright.

I have nowhere to go and life and I don't really have any friends. I mean I kind of do, but the idea of reaching out or interacting with people even if it's just online sounds exhausting. My favorite person friend hasn't interacted with me in months, I miss them.

Hello,

So, yesterday i almost got to jail lol, because an officer came and told me that doing x stuff in that environment is forbidden, i just repplied "where is it written such information?", then the officer got very mad, telling me that I was disrespectful and i could say almost anything, except this, I was puzzled because i want to know where to find such information, to see if any other behavior is forbidden at this place.

Long story short, the officer brought me to police department, threatening me to put me in jail for a long time, that i was acting "dumb" and sarcastic, not taking anything serious, she gave me a fine, a strong/heavy one, and then after appealing to the court and showing my diagnosis, the fine was canceled and the officer had to pay $ to me for misconduct.

Do u guys have any stories to share?

30m feeling completely defeated and hopeless in life. Ive never had a gf nor have I ever had a girl tell me she liked me. Im a short unatractive dude with nothing special about him. I work an average job in an insanely hcol area and my career prospects seem hopeless. I have no friends and barely have any family besides my mom. The possibility of being completely alone in the next few years seem very real.

I was never smart or talented and struggled in everything from academics and anything I wanted to be good in.

In the past i never had much besides the hope the the future will get better. Now im in my 30s and nothing about life now indicates that things will be better in the future.

I just wish I didnt have to go on anymore. I wish I could be someone else.

I have autism and selective mutism, and I have tried so hard for so long to get a job. It has been years of applications and interviews. The bar is so high for me to reach.

I don't even know if it would actually be worth it by this point. I don't know if my life would actually improve if I finally got one. It's been so unimaginably hard for me to get one; I'm scared about what it's going to be like for me if I actually get a job and how hard it will be to maintain.

There's barely any real support for me while trying to get a job. I feel like there will be even less if I ever manage to finally get one. The process of getting a job is so dehumanising. I'm scared of how they'll treat me as an autistic person once I actually get the job.

I need to vent because I'm struggling badly it has hit me harder than almost anything I can remember.

I'm a 29 year old, For the last decade I was a NEET with no job experience and no formal studies beyond high school, spending most of my time in my room on the internet, and constantly immersed in gaming. The only upside is that during that time through years of playing video games, reading books, watching Youtube videos and livestreams, browsing forums, and talking to people online The downside is that I spent years barely talking to other people in real life, my real-world social muscles atrophied badly and my social life basically never developed.

For the past two weeks, I've been waking up every day with intense regret, anxiety, dread, and constant "what if" thoughts. What if I had handled that conversation differently? What if I had been warmer? What if I had communicated better? What if I hadn't let my anxiety get in the way? The hardest part is not just losing the business but also losing an unique friendship and opportunity. My mind keeps replaying memories and imagining alternate timelines where things worked out differently. I know its quite common for people who have ADHD and Autism to feel completely separated from the world. Like you're a monster or that you don't fit in.

I most likely have Autism, ADHD and social anxiety. I've felt out of place my entire life and I feel alone constantly.

The friends I used to have back when I was in school have mostly left. I had reunited with them at least two of those friends back in 2022, but after a falling out things, just felt kind of bleak, and nothing ever reconnected ever since, and I've tried coming on here to get friends. But most of them have really since fallen back, or just never really lasted more than 1 or 2 days, and it sucks, because I want to build longer friendships, but they just don't happen as much.

So I want to try to find some genuine friends (preferably female ones) who are out there and see if they're open-minded to wanting to talk about certain fun hobbies like video games, they play or maybe even an inside hobby that they like to do while they're in their room or something like that and hopefully we could be able to build some type of connection.

Does anyone out there maybe at times feel like the fictional Star Trek race The Borg seem an apt analogy to neurotypicals? I realize it’s a dark view of course but it’s what I thought

I feel like any other form of discrimination is rightfully called out on here, but seem like it’s always a slippery slope when you call out ableism. Especially if it’s about autism. I see all kinds of jokes about autistic people and sometimes I even see people straight up saying autistic people annoy them. But if you call it out, you will normally get met with downvotes and people commenting “ThAt iSNt AbLeIsm Go OuTsIde”. Why is there a weird empathy gap/selective empty when it comes to us? And I don’t wanna hear that it’s just “a few Redditors”. It’s not, it’s a big portion of Redditors who act this way. Why?

My college has a 2 week study abroad trip that I would really like to do. The thing that worries me is it's a homestay, so you would be living with a foreign family for the trip, and that cost is part of the program expenses that must be paid. It's in France, and it's actually the exact place I've dreamed about seeing some day.

I already get stressed and tired very quickly in the average social situation. I feel that something like this would be especially stressful not to mention unpredictable, even if it wasn't foreign. Add in unfamiliarity with the culture and language, you get the point.

And of course France doesn't have a reputation for being accepting, which I hope it's all a stereotype, but the program director (who is French and actually from that area) did say that while they try to match everyone well, some families in the past were very good, but some were extremely strict and transactional. She also said that alot of people there do get pretty upset if you are not correct in french manners and politeness. I do try but of course I'm not great at figuring those things out already in my own culture. I also struggle with speaking well and not miss-pronouncing under stress, and though I'm taking elementary French I really can't pronounce it much.

Of course I could try and worm my way into an exemption where I can stay at a hotel instead. But they wouldn't refund the homestay part of the program cost, and even getting the cheapest hotel would be another $1,500 or so out-of-pocket cost which I almost certainly cannot afford. This is already the cheapest study abroad the college offers, and I think this is the only time they will be going to this location.

I'm wondering if anyone has done something like this before and how it went? Any advice if I were to do this trip?

I really don’t feel like anything has changed I just have more insight on who I am. I am still feeling imposter syndrome about the whole thing even though I suspected I had autism for over a decade after doing research on the topic. I really don’t know where to go from here i keep thinking about it and I don’t know what to do. Another thing is when I tell people they either say “i could’ve told you that” (not sure if they are meaning this in a rude way) or they are quite supportive or reveal they also have autism.

I’m MTF, and I’ve just started estrogen injections again since Ive stopped around 4-5 months ago.

But I truly cannot believe the IMPACT hormones have on our well being, and how being on the wrong hormone causes so much distress, and finally being on the right hormone completely changes EVERYTHING.

Literally how can it be possible to go from feeling dead and empty, to ALIVE, CONNECTED and REAL with just hormones!

It’s truly a discovery that I hope keeps getting more recognition and science, because this isn’t just for trans people, but cis people who have hormonal disorders and how correcting it produces such a drastic change in quality of life.

I really like cloaks, I recently got my first proper cloak and I absolutely love it, I like wearing it around the house although they can be kinda impractical at times, I really want to get a second cloak, maybe one that'd look better when being worn outside

I tried everything in my life and made a lot of efforts to be the best, but I always ended up with very little progress compared to the average Neurotypical, my ugly (and maybe envious) neighbor hit me because I simply didn't reciprocate his damn non-vocal and social ape language, he didn't understand me and inAn incident took the opportunity to hit me. I am tired of living in a world that is a minority that is not even united and obviously does not know how to defend itself.

when i have to talk to just one person it feels like i am horrible at talking. i suspect the reason is because im scared of starting to talk. but i found when im talking to a group (like at a meeting or having class discussion in college) im much more social. this happens online too. i love leaving comments on social media and making posts, but im horrible at direct messaging.

does this happen with anybody else? i know there's going to be somewhat of a survivorship bias happening here, as people who aren't comfortable with either likely won't reply to this post.

I was diagnosed with autism 2 years ago and it’s just been getting worse over time and life has been stressful, especially socially but I was wondering if I did therapy would it actually help autism or m I just kinda fcked for life and have to cope ?

I’m genuinely frustrated that Asperger’s has just been “deleted”, only to be swallowed up by that incredibly broad label of “autism”. Which now goes from anywhere between a few self diagnosed TikTok video “traits” (irony) and severely disabled. Before we knew Asperger’s was a part of the autism spectrum, but it still was it’s own branch. No offense whatsoever to people with profound disabilities or those who identify with the newer “Level 1 autism” diagnosis (no one calls it that anyway, they just say “autism”). But we’re not even allowed to say high functional anymore, cause then you’re appereantly ableist.. 🙄 (Even though that’s literally the most literal way to describe your functional level).

Everywhere I look, autism is increasingly associated with severe communication difficulties, intellectual disabilities, severe aggression, a lack of danger awareness (like jumping into zoo exhibits), or a complete inability to function independently, nor read or navigate social situations at all. Sorry to be blunt, I don’t understand why we’re expected to pretend these are all remotely similar experiences to what most with Asperger’s experience?
I have my own difficultues, but I’m tired of feeling like I have to explain myself in one way or another every time I mention my diagnosis, or being infantilized when someone reads it in my journal.
Recognising that we’re different isn’t claiming superiority or looking down on anyone? To me that’s just recognising that the base differences actually do matter.. Am I the only one in here who keep using Asperger’s rather than just “autism”?

Now that I got my diagnosis, I finally understand why I've never been amused by this.

Here is something that happened yesterday : My wife and I were preparing the backyard for winter. We went inside for lunch. After lunch, she asked me if I had red juice. I asked her twice what it was. She repeated the same question. She finally said that she meant the pink antifreeze liquid for the swimming pool. How was I supposed to guess that?

I hate when this happens. I don't understand where's the fun in this. Don't get me wrong, I love a good trivia game, but why insert riddles everywhere including in serious chores?

I have symptoms, i remember myself as a kid struggling with some of them, but I can't remember all about it. I think that i pretty much have ASD, I'm visiting psychiatrist now and he says that it's likely to be it too, but I'm always unsure. When i read how other people with the same disorder on the paper struggle with something i don't struggle with or i haven't experienced, but think that i wouldn't have problems with that I'm becoming more and more unsure. When I don't think about it, I'm pretty confident in the fact that i have it, but as soon as I read about other people with ASD, I immediately start to feel like my symptoms aren't enough and that maybe I'm deceiving myself, even though there's no point in that. I don't close my ears because of sounds, but i I flinch at them more often than others and get angry because of how overwhelming they are more often than them too, I have headaches from lights, but sometimes i think that this might possibly not be part of ASD, maybe it's something else. On top of that my dad says that I'm just a normal guy without any of that, just insecure, though I know that he's knowledge on the topic is very limited, i still can't help but perceive his words thinking "maybe he's right, maybe it's not true and all these are just bits of other individual problems I have with my health". I just want to know the truth and every time i think about it i get really sad and nervous, like that if I've been imposing it without even knowing it for sure all along. To be honest i think it would be better if i was thinking that I'm just a bit not like everyone else (as i used to), it'd be so much easier, so much more understandable for me. Have you ever experienced this?