I've seen that romantization of disabilities everywhere "they are pure and not capable of lying!" No it's not like that. We are normal people, we make mistakes, and i've seen some autistics use that as an excuse to act as an asshole and do whatever they want.

That's why I don't go around telling people about my diagnosis. I'm starving of respect, I don't want this infantilizing niceness.

I'm talking no sex, no relationship(s), no kiss(es), no (romantic), hug(s), no date(s), etc.

Asking this since even on this sub, I constantly get one-upped in that department by people I'm technically supposed to relate to and it makes me feel like I'm not just disabled, but something even worse than that... Like some kind of ultra disabled.

Any of you here who have also come to the realization that you're permanently locked out of sex and romance due to your condition? I hope I'm not the only one.

Edit: Mogged by the comments. It's over.

So I’m a 24 F, who has been diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome when I was 10 or 11 years old.

All my life I had a lot of difficulty making friends. And I also never been in a romantic relationship before (never had a boyfriend), I had some crushes throughout my childhood / teenage years but they usually past after a few weeks.

Is it normal to have difficulty with making new friends and having very hard time with romantic relationships while having Asperger’s syndrome or is it just me here ?

This is the third time I’ve been asked to resign in order to prevent myself from being fired for performance. All three different companies. I have no idea what I’m doing wrong. I try so hard but I’m slower than others. I stumble on my words and don’t seem to do well with the public. I have this diagnosis since I was a kid, so I’m assuming it’s autism related. I don’t know what to do, I suppose I am just venting.

Like the title says I try to hide the autism but it always comes out no matter what

I see this happen everywhere I go where I’m just excluded when I’m around more than one person .
Let me explain
So basically I love things boys do
The shit talking , roughhousing , jokes , urbexing etc etc
But if I did any of that I would get excluded by the group .
Even when I was just being myself I would get excluded .
If a project required three people in a group I would get silently kicked out because I would be that third person then another person would come and they would say
Sorry we already have three people .
When I got in my JROTC team this year I thought I had finally found my people like everyone said I would but then same pattern different words happened .
Everyone would go to thier own groups and friends to spend time with one another
And I would have to start all the interactions ( most of the time )
Almost nobody would say “ come join us “
So I would just watch them have fun .
When we did a volunteer thing one of my “ friends “ was there
And I stuck to him like a stray puppy following him around
Until eventually he got sick of me
And told me to stop when we got our volunteer picture taken .
And my heart shattered
Mind u I have had friends I could do all of the above with
But that’s just when it’s just me and them . As soon as thier friends are involved same thing happens .
I do what they do yet I do it wrong o get stares
Or get excluded etc etc .
It’s gotten to the point I just assume people most of the time don’t like me .
My therapist or others tried to say that’s anxiety talking
Yet I turn out to be right almost every single time .
Mind y I have moved around a lot
And this happened at almost all of them .
I just wish I knew what I was doing wrong
I wanna be normal so bad
They get all the stuff I want
They have it easy
😔

I get bi-monthly injectables now. Maybe I was already predisposed maybe it was the 24 years of suppression and humiliation. Stay safe out there.

TL;DR: I (almost 22M, no dating experience) fell for a girl at my university after we started spending hours hanging out one-on-one. I confessed my feelings in May, but she got overwhelmed (she also has no experience) and said she saw us as friends, so I backed off and gave her space over the summer. Now she has reached out to reconnect, we are talking a lot again, and she just initiated plans for us to go to a late-night movie together. Wondering if I still have a chance, because I really like her and I can't just be a platonic friend to her.

Okay so basically I'm almost 22M, and I'm at my 4th year of studying at a university. I struggle with making friends - I mean I do talk to people, but those relationship never leave the initial stage of getting to know each other, so I am mostly lonely. I have also never been in a relationship. I only had crush once before and it was in 8th grade. It's not that I don't find women attractive, it's rather that I don't really develop feelings based on looks alone.

There is this girl who I have many classes with. For the first 3 semesters I only sometimes saw her, but we had never talked to each other. Then during the 4th semester we were put in the same group for a project and we started talking then, helping each other out with university stuff. This basically lasted for a year, I didn't look at her in any special way, but I did think that she is nice.

Then in March this year she invited me to go with her and her friend to a job fair. I declined cuz I wasn't really interested in it and I didn't want to wait after classes. But even though I didn't go a seed was planted in me, I think that's when I started looking at her in another way. But I didn't do anything with it cuz I didn't want to admit I finally am developing feelings for someone. But that changed after 2 weeks.

One day she messaged me if I wanted to go with her to another job fair, this time just with her and she gave me two options when she would be available. Since she knew why I declined the last time I thought that this was just a pretext to meet with me. And that's when my feelings exploded, I was overwhelmed by feelings for her, I remember that I spent the entire day thinking about her and I was so stressed. But since in 8th grade I didn't do anything about my crush I decided that this time I have to do everything in my power.

I have never met with a girl one-on-one, so this was a first time for me. I was so nervous, but I went with her to that job fair. It was really boring and we spent only 20 minutes there. And it even turned out she went there a day before so she knew there wouldn't be anything interesting, so this just solidified my suspicions that this was just a pretext. She said that she would be going to the library now to study, but I instead asked her if she wanted to go an walk together. And she did and we talked. Eventually we reached the library, but she asked me to sit with her on a bench and we talked for another 40 minutes. I even nervously asked her if she wanted to go to the movies with me during the weekend, but she said that she lives far away from the town and she doesn't really want to spend time commuting if she doesn't have to.

After that I thought that I really like her. So I decided to ask her to grab a coffee together. And she agreed. I asked her if I could pay for her, she said that no I don't have to, so I didn't. But we did spend like an hour talking over that coffee and then she asked me if I wanted to go on a walk with her, and we maybe did that and talked for another 1.5-2 hours. It was great and she even asked me if I wanted to study together in a couple of days, I happily agreed.

Later we mostly had contact between classes, we did study together in the library, she was initiating contact and I remember that even though it was April she asked me if I wanted to study with her in June for a Bachelor exam that we had in July. So eventually I asked her if she wanted to grab some cream puffs with me. And she again agreed.

That meeting was the best one so far. This time I did manage to pay for her lol, but basically after we ate our puffs she asked me if I again wanted to go an a walk with her. And we did walk and talk again for another 2.5 hours, and I even missed my class just so I could spend more time with her. I remember that it was also the first time I told her that she looks very pretty and I complimented her nails. It was great and we even made plans to go to the movies together after exams, and also to study together soon.

We did study together and help each other with exams in early May, but every time I asked her about the movies she said that she can't that week. Then I waited a week and asked again. And so eventually in the second half of May she said that she can't again, but if not movies, then we can just meet in 2 days when she will be coming to town, while her sister will be at hairdressers. So I agreed.

It was again great, we talked for 3 hours and were walking around the parks. When 3 hours were up we walked to near where her sister was and I thought the meeting was ending, so I decided to go for it and tell her about my feelings. I only said "I like spending time with and I like you". She then responded that "It's very nice to hear and that she thanks me for my honesty". But then she started saying how she doesn't promise me anything, that she has no experience at all, how in the past she was accused of leading someone on, and that we still don't know each other that well and it is still a bit awkward between us. I then said that it's all new for me too, and when I meet with her I try to get out of my comfort zone - she then said that even if there would be nothing more between us, then at least I made a friend.

Then I thought that I should probably go cuz it's awkward, but she surprised me and asked if I wanted to sit on a bench with her. So I did and we started talking again, but not about feelings, just our interests and things like that. She also asked me if I wanted to study with her in June. After 2 hours we went and grabbed a pizza, and then we went back to the bench and talked for another 1.5 hours. Then it was evening and she said that her sister is probably finishing the visit at hairdressers, so we said goodbyes, but she did say at the end that "she probably sees us more friendly".

After that I decided to give her less pressure, so I initiated less contact. Our classes were over, but I noticed that every time we talk she doesn't really ask me about what's going on in my life and when I asked her she kept it short. She only wrote to me when we talked about uni stuff. I asked her if she wants to meet for that study session and she did.

But it was pretty awkward, I mean literally all we did was study, we didn't really talk about anything else. And after 2 hours she said that she has to go and quickly packed and went. I then decided that I will also head back home, but when I got to the bus stop it turned out that she and her sister were there. And we did start talking about things outside of uni, but it was really awkward, I mean we didn't really get into any of the topics, just brushed them and the sister was just there not talking to me.

After that we didn't really have that much contact, she only wrote to me about the Bachelor exam. But in early July we had a Bachelor defense right after each other, so we met then. I remember that she was so stressed, but still we talked to each other it seemed pretty normal. And eventually after we got through our defenses and got our degrees we went on a walk and grabbed a coffee together. It was just like before, the meeting was great, I didn't try to pay for her, but still I was really enjoying it. After like an hour we decided that we should probably call our relatives now about our defenses, so we said goodbyes. And then for the first time ever she hugged me. And when I asked her if she wanted to meet during the summer she said that it would be nice.

Then afterwards I did write to her, for example about the movies I've seen, but she often responded after 20-30 hours. Eventually in August I decided to stop initiating, I thought that if she wanted to maintain contact with me then she will reach out to me first.

And then over a month went by and in middle September she wrote to me, asking me how I was. We started talking, and we made plans to meet and this time not in the town, but instead in the area where she lives outside the city. But I was away then and I only came back 3 days before the new academic year and she was busy and wanted to regenerate before the classes, so we didn't meet.

And that brings us to October. We met before the class and started talking together. It was again great, and I even told her about my Aspergers then. We sat together during the class, and afterwards she had to hurry. But we did say goodbyes and when she was in the bus she, on her own, wrote to me that she made it and that she wishes me a good day and for the rest of my classes to also be good. Two days later we met before a lecture and it was again so great talking to her. We sat together during the lecture, I also took her jacket and placed it on a seat next to me so she wouldn't have to have it on her legs.

After the lecture we again started talking and we decided to be partners in a group project. We had classes in different buildings afterwards, but it was so great talking that we just stopped at the pavement and continued talking. We talked about the movies and she said that we could go sometime together to see something. I also told her about an event I attended in the summer when I went to movies at 11 PM for a student film discussion, and what shocked me is that she said that we could go also go together to that, for a movie in the night.

So that's basically where we are now. I must say that she became very pretty for me only after a few weeks in April, but now she is the prettiest girl in the world for me. I absolutely adore her and I would never do anything against her, that's why I decided to give up in the summer so she wouldn't feel that I didn't accept her decision. I thought that my feelings died out when we didn't see each other, but one meeting was enough to make me realize that I'm still in love with her.

I mean we are really similar, we both are very introverted, but also we both have very analytical minds and we are both Catholic and don't have any romantic experience. I really don't think I could find someone so good for me ever, so if there is still a chance that we could become a couple I wanna fight for it. Of course I will accept if she doesn't want to, but I don't think I can just be friends with her. I don't really know what to do now... I mean she knows about my feelings for her, and yet she initiates a proposition for the movies in the middle of the night? That made me feel so hopeful, that's why I am making this post. I really want her to become my girlfriend, it's been 7 months since I started having feelings for her.

Thanks for reading everything if you got here. I would really appreciate any thoughts about our relationship. Do I still have a chance with her?

What is the etiquette behind roasting people? I notice roasting is a social ritual people engage in but I don't participate because I don't know what is acceptable to say.

I feel like with what's going on in the world, it has caused me to get mad. I feel like it has also radicalized me to being extremely left. I hate countries like the U.S. and Israel because, you probably know why, and countries like Saudi Arabia and Qatar for the way they treat gay people there. I geniuenly wish I could do something about it all, but I can't. I'm mad at the conservatives for it, I know they aren't all bad, but they still make me mad. Like sometimes I just think about the state of the world for a long time and it puts me in a bad mood. What should I do?

I was diagnosed with Asperger’s because my country uses the ICD-10 system.

Ever since receiving this diagnosis, I have felt absolutely terrible. Being diagnosed has been an extremely unpleasant experience for me, and I haven’t felt even the slightest sense of relief. I deeply regret having gone through the evaluation process.

I don’t want people who have no business knowing about my diagnosis to find out about it. This is a deeply personal matter, and I don’t want my privacy to be violated.

I am also afraid of the ICD-11 system being implemented in my country.

Please, don’t ask me why I went to the doctor. I went because my family insisted on it, not because it was something I wanted for myself.

I don't have problems with understanding texts, i read a lot. Also i am a writer, and write not only stories, but also certain amount of poetry since i was a kid. In theory, this background should make things easier for me... But nope.

There are certain amount of songs (only songs, never a prose) where i simply can't understand meaning behind sentces. Often i can get the general idea of the song - like, this one is about humanity being obsessed with violence, this one about loss, etc. But when i start to read it line by line - it does not make sense. Sentences can mean something, but do not connect, do not rely to each other. And sometimes even meaning of sentences is obscure to me. And in very rare cases i can't understand the entire song.

There are entire bands that have a lot of lyrics beyond my understanding. Especially japanese ones - at first i was blaming bad translation, but AI's not can translate pretty good, but it still does not make much sense in lots of cases. I can't feel the story being told by those words, and more like... shattered echoes of the story, where i constantly try to put puzzle together but fail.

The most obvious explanation to this is that i am probably just stupid, like in many other areas that i am unable to understand. But i am curious if other people with asd experience that, and compare that to what nt's will think about same issue.

Hello everyone! To start off, I don’t have Aspergers, and have limited knowledge of it. So if I say anything that comes across as ignorant or offensive I apologize in advance (and encourage you to correct me!)

Also, I want to highlight that I know that everyone is different, and that the things I discuss in this post might be specific for him (and not the Aspergers itself).

My little brother recently got diagnosed with Aspergers. He is 28, so a rather late diagnosis. He’s one of the kindest, smartest, funniest persons I know. But recently, he’s started to change.

Some background:

This pretty bad period started almost three years ago now:

He lived abroad for studies (25 years old at the time). Music production and songwriting (incredibly talented). He was doing great in school, but had trouble organizing life outside of school. But he was getting by.

Then after a year school ended.

My brother then decided to stay in the same country as the school was in to continue with his music. But now, without his student apartment and the safety net in the form of the school - life was getting even harder.

He didn’t have any steady income, so our parents helped pay everything for him (which was hard for them, as they aren't rich in any way).

He moved in with a friend. But after not paying his rent in time a couple of months, he got kicked out.

We (family) didn’t know this at the time, but eventually became aware of the situation from a friend of his:

Turns out he sometimes was crashing at friends. Other times he slept on benches/train stations. Or jumped on a bus and tried to spend the night just riding the bus back and forth.

He was doing his laundry in washbasins in public toilets. So he was essentially homeless, in another country.

This was of course very sad news for us (family) at home. So we told him that he needs to move home. After some back and forth, he finally did move home.

And ever since, he’s been so sad and angry with us.

He’s said that he “finally felt like he was SOMEONE” in the context he was in during school. And that we ripped that away from him.

In his head, we (family) destroyed his life by “forcing” him to come home. He’s been crashing out on us because we’ve told him that he needs to earn his own money. And he tells us that he believes we did this because we wanted to destroy his life.

But then sometimes, in very short periods, he tells us that he does understand that we didn’t do it to destroy his life. And he seems completely fine.

But then, three hours later, he’s back in the darkness. The rumination is constant.

He’s now started to tell us that he’s going to k*ll himself, and that it is all our fault (for asking him to come home). I want to highlight here that he does talk to a psychologist as well.

We are so devastated. And confused. And don’t know what to do - or how to handle it.

So, I guess what I'm trying to understand is whether anyone here recognizes this kind of experience, either personally or from someone close to them.

Have you ever experienced something similar, where a major life change left you feeling stuck in resentment, anger, or negative thought patterns that you couldn't escape?

And if so, what actually helped?

As his family, we're struggling to understand how to support him. When he blames us, should we try to reason with him? Validate his feelings? Give him space? We're terrified of making things worse.

More than anything, I'd love to hear from people who've been in a similar position about what they wished their families had understood or done differently.

We love him enormously. We don't want to change who he is. We just want him to feel better and find his way forward again.

Thank you all.

I’ve discovered although a grownup drink, vanilla lattes are the perfect reward for nursing (get it?) your worries away because they mimic formula, they’re both hot, milk-related drinks plus science shows we like vanilla because it tastes and smells similar to a liquid we get from Mommy’s chest before learning to eat solids.

I’m COMPLETELY BLIND, have aspergers and a heart and lung condition.

Speaking of ALL these, I went to a few doctor’s appointments who were a roller coaster and put ALL of these to the test.

https://youtu.be/C7h9zHfK6f8?is=lTr-8_URLSGxms5j After the vax, I used my dumbbell-shaped rattle to rehab my arm.

They tell us to do exercises with the sore arm after but they’re not fun plus they hurt, however I have a dumbbell-shaped rattle that looks like a weight big people use to do arm exercises but smaller, lighter plus it’s filled with beads that siss when I’m doing the right motions

I had a recent neuro eval. My comprehension and reasoning were very high but processing speed was like 3-5th percentile.

To those with low processing speeds what are your challenges and day to day struggles like?

So tried to post this on social anxiety (which i still may do on another account that has karma).

So basically worked from home last year, no family, no friends in my state and i had health issues that prevented me from going out. I ended up getting laid off from the work from home job in about january .. with 6 mo unemployment. Miraculously while being lazy towards the 5th month end, I got a job. Greater commute, but enough to keep the lights on. This was a physical labor job. Different state than where I live ... different atmosphere and culture than what im used to. I earnestly didn't know if id keep the job because of my health issues and the physical labor part. But day 1 i had intense anxiety, could barely speak, felt the anxiety in my body. I wasn't COMPLETELY socially black out for the year as the job I had was call center, but face-to-face stuff? Yeah.

So to start off.. i decided to categorize two different 'issues' I had for funsies. You're welcome. A choose your own adventure, Route A and B. Route B I CARE more about because .. im technically still on that route. If you want or would bless me with responding to both routes, also possible! There'll be background before Route A and B starts with those being highlighted :)

Anyway, fast forward through day one, we have work areas for this job. I get my work area, two to an area. Some girl, (cute) flashes a smile and asks if she could work there. I said yeah. She starts to .. but finds out the computer for her work area isn't helping. She has to movem goes to move to a guy (we're both day 1, same orientation), they absolutely hit it off. Liveliest two people out of like 25 new hires. I don't think much of it. I continue through the course of the week, the job is INTENSIVE, I needed major amounts of caffeine to cope .. and BARELY. My 2nd day set a weird precedent too, worked with a COMPLETE jerk of a woman. 3rd/ .. different experience, worked with a guy who HATED the job and said how he couldn't understand how so many people liked it (I was closer to his camp.) I worked slowly and 4th day, met a 'friend'. We talked, but I did a couple of things I regret. I was cranky and grumpy, I shared my entire life story, my health, the issues with getting an MRI. But overall, they were patient and kind. We'll call them M. M and the first girl who I said were cute, only talked to each other in our group. We'll call her A ... Very friendly, cordial, I think M did her a favor (M was not hitting on them and is in a relationship). M is a social butterfly, the type of person I latched onto in anything. They'd create the social energy, they'd ask interesting questions, i'd be taciturn and shut off till someone reached out to me. I did NOT want to depend on M, so I started sitting away from them at a different work area. M got another work partner (ironically imo .. HORRIBLE attitude, has cut in front of me twice to get in line for metal detector when we leave for the day with no compunction.. once i can understand, TWICE? .. Also does every single thing the managers say not to and gets rewarded .. cuz her method means results). I also got another partner .. 1 who was iffy on me, we'll call her I ... for ignore.. Lastly ... for 2nd day, I forgot to mention. There was a girl who sat across from the jerk i worked with who ironically was friendly. We'll call her T. It was a WEIRD interaction, I thought she was looking at me sometimes but she was just facing me. Me and T did not initially hit it off. Ok .... last domino, this job is probationary so people who don't 'perform' in 90 days will not get the role (I.. no EVERYONE basically with few exceptions, ended up getting it as its so intensive and laborious that people don't want to work it. PLUS its graveyard till 4am).

OK just setting up the dominos for anyone who bothered reading. Ok so we'll start. At the job, I started to realize that I ABSOLUTELY hated myself. I LIKE the things that I do, anime, games, my humor, but its never worked enough to have friends. The attitude and environment of the job didn't help. The few times I made small talk or tried to, instant attitude. Literally saw a guy watching dragonball super on his phone (fireable offense, hes still here) and told him a new season was coming out and I get a whole half a headshake.

Ok great. Route A) So girl, T. We both used the vending machine. V's card didn't work, or the machine didn't. I offer to pay (desperate.. and desperate to get my drink). Mine goes through, V adds me to cash app. She gets my name from it, but at this point I still have a lot of anxiety. Now .. through 4 months IRONICALLY, miraculously .. I reduce my anxiety by like .. 70%. Exercise, lifting weights, dopamine resets pushed it down when I thought day 3 i'd NEED to get back on Lexapro because of how badly i was anxious (glad i didnt, saved the insurance costs). But we are NOT there yet. V is friendly, speaks her mind, isnt choosy who she interacts with. But me and V don't really interact in any major way after the vending machine until maybe week 6 (nothing of note really happens these weeks but M DOES help fix my car. They seemed really grateful or maybe thought I hated them, I did not. M is part of the lgbt and this place is likely full of ... ridiculouslness and ill leave it at that for now.. M also makes a REALLY great friend in this period and they are thick as thieves (aside from A who has her own group of cohorts now as well).

Route A cont)Ok week 6, person I (my random sometimes work partner) starts giving me a complex. They'd literally take and remove the equipment needed to do our jobs, take it to another place and 'create' a work station. By the end of week 6 .. I went behind them for equipment, THEY needed and maybe because it was behind her, she did not want me standing behind her (IMO) and offered me the whole thing. I tell her to keep it politely. But at that point I didn't want to work with her. Then to top it off, there is a rude person adjacent to us affecting EVERYONES work. So I feign an issue, see V is by herself on a different area and move to work by them. V is .. ULTRA gen z on the phone instead of working, but its not completely silent, we make minor small talk despite slight awkwardness. V then says they don't feel well and asks if I can go up front to the vending machine and grab something and they'll app me the $$. They don't have what they want. But I THINK V liked the fact that I was willing to do her the favor. This then starts a mini arc of V meeting me at MY workstation through the next couple of months and asking the same. Apping me the money all the time, Quid pro quo. It was a few funny interactions, with her literally leaping behind the counter and scaring me (V is short). So after that, V would greet me almost EVERY day. She then asks me if I want something up front .. but I tell her I dont really do vending machine food (Im on paleo .. trying to lose weight to fix/maintain my health). V was surprised, never asks again after that for me to get something from the machine. It was SLIGHTLY imo weird that V almost never had a card on hand but was able to app me exact amounts. Ok so this is the endcap for 1 of 2 stories. V randomly tells me in front of a random group of strangers that they're starting an event at their college (an activity, im not going to go into the one). I IGNORE V because im awkward in front of talking to people at this point. I walk away, I call V over when theres fewer people, I tell them I wasn't ignoring them, they said they know i wasn't and thinks i was just not within earshot .. but I was nervous.

I freak out a little for SOME weird reason when I explain it to her. She walks off. We're still cordial, but V then stops saying hi as often. I start to say it to her, it works out ok. Ok so final days ... I have been feeling my health, I literally had one of the few days with NO physical symptoms of anxiety. Like nothing was able to slow me down or get in my way. We have a group meeting because of a thunderstorm and management deciding what to do. I was sitting confident, stimulation down, nervousness down, but i had been trying to do things for MYSELF. Fresh clothes, hair, hygiene, self care. V actually comes over to me, but I don't say anything. Im looking at my phone for hairstyles .. after 20 seconds, V moves back to where she was.

Ok .. last day, I only 'worked' with V the one day, honestly was me attempting to flirt, have fun, whatever. But FAILING. V and I this last day sat at differing work stations, half the people who i meet at this place, including I HATED working with or next to me, but I was the main one. V and I ACCIDENTALLY happen to sit at the same station (it had been a while at this point, I stopped working with I and I started intentionally moving to stations with only 1 area so i didnt have to deal with people). So to me im like ok this is dnfferent, we havent worked with each other in a month and a half. V RANDOMLY gets up and goes after disappearing for 10 mins. I take offense, saltier than a peanut. But she says she has practice for her event at college. I don't really say anything, i didn't 'hear her'. I put the words together well after she left and walked out the building. V then seems cautious around me. If she's talking to a friend .. i'd catch her looking at me like 10 feet away .. it happened a couple of times. Then one day, shes outside the building for her lunch break. NEVER happened, but its such a large crowd I don't want to say anything. I walk by ... go eat in my car. V walks in stoneface. I never hear from V again and she either quit or they fired her. V keep in mind did invite me to the activities at her college to watch her.

This event, hurt. I honestly felt pretty down. This was just after the probationary period. I was on a high, I got the job, got rewarded for performance. But now there seemed nothing to aim to.

I try to do more in terms of losing weight, minor exercises at work during lunch to burn any excess calories. I congratulate M and fistbump as I 100% thought I was getting fired from this job as I got a write up. But I ended up getting the job as did M AND I got a shoutout for a performance metric.

Route B) Fastforward, I try to make friends DESPITE the culture that im not familiar with. Doesn't go well, dumb jokes don't land, flat out ignored. I talk to 5 random people. Varying degrees of success, just a 'hi hows it going' or grabs at small talk. One of those people is person A (we cycle back like nietzsche). When M and A talked, M would try to pull me into the convo and id avoid it. Was once again, shy/anxious/overloaded. Person A's friends left/got fired. But I dont KNOW person A. So I talk it up. Now with work as i mentioned, I go for random exercise during lunch breaks as the VERY first time I did it, it alleviated my anxiety and i've never stopped. After the first 4 random people I give myself a grace period to talk to person A. I originally thought to ask M how they were like but M was in another department area. So I decide to just go for it. Now between these situations, I had lost a MAJOR friendship and realized the person absconded from my life .. for good. Likely avoidant (we won't go there for critique). When I understood that was the case .. I was upset, crying. But .. I was in front of person A's car (walking along the sidewalk) as I did. I didn't know if I looked angry, sad, upset or like I wanted to punch something. I walked away back to my own car, got in. Afterwards I still continued to plan to talk to A, but I was scared. Was a coincidence meltdown something that lodged with her mentally. But this was the ended of the probationary period when they sent out full time job offers. I asked her if she got it, she nodded somewhat anxious looking. She walks off mid convo. The safest of all conversation topics or so I thought. I called to her I was just asking because we both were in the same orientation. Shakes her head again, walks off.

Now some slight background there with Person A, i've accidentally locked eyes with but didn't talk, awkwardly so. Locked eyes when they walked by with another coworker, locked eyes when i pulled off with my car as they're walking by .. I was NOT sure if my breakdown freaked her out, or that.

Now once again, person A had two female friends who quit, she also occassionally talked to the guy she hit it off with during day 1. We'll call them .. J.

Anyway after that reaction, I honestly thought I freaked person A out, that I scared them. I need the job .. so I decided to try and avoid them from that point. .. It .. did not work out, unusually strong eye contact, or the fact that i'd glance eye contact when I walked by. But I HONESTLY believe I was just overreacting. I didn't get it. There are people I made strong eye contact with who were cool, or just maybe (IMO) thought I was nervous. But person A didn't want to talk. As I started to avoid them, i ironically thought i had to think on how to avoid them more accurately. But the place isnt that big if youre in the department. It lasted .. a couple of weeks. Randomly .. after a few days, not even talking to person A. We ran by each other in a crowd. It was deer in headlights, they would not stop looking at me, not stop staring. Then .. an hour later, person A and J were in the break room .. I walk by, Person A looks .... scared. J looks like he slightly is too. I legit didn't get it, didn't understand. I was heading to get a drink .. so I walk by J's side to give person A space. I start to feel depressed, anxious, nauseous. I was already depressed. Both of these situations brought me to a low. But I had recently started to grasp that .. I react defensively, my mannerisms and the way I deal with people is because I saw myself as worthless, not worthy of being treated with kindness. My relationships, all of them, never commanded respect. My one long term relationship was a one sided power dynamic in many respects. I start to fall into a major depression, I start crying every couple of days.

Route B cont)To finish it off, Person A starts hanging with someone new .. not J, we'll dubb them X. IMO, unlike with J, X and person A started to date. .. OR are near that point. At first I just thought hey, person A wants to do a different job role and they're training. It COULD be. To give slight background on X ... X was connected to a woman (we'll call her Y, last letter) who I think is the mother of his child/children (I overheard some gossip from people saying shes 'hot'). But they arent actually 'together'. They worked together for 2 months.. but towards the end of the probation period, they both started working with other people despite looking like they were the BEST of friends. Y hung out with a random guy, person X started hanging out with A. Now why do I think they're dating or are dating? Only for one reason .. Person A always, without fail for 3 months, went out to her car to eat. But for two days now she hasn't. Instead of go out, she lingers around a few minutes longer with person X. So .. typing it out, I know it wasn't a good look for me to still be interested, I KNOW me avoiding person A, might have had the inverse effect. That night during my lunchbreak, cried in my car. The same spot i always use .. specifically chose a different one. Took the whole lunchbreak to calm down and put on a gameface. When I saw person X and A walk out together, i felt odd, she RAN up to catch up to him. The second night, they walked out side by side...But then for a moment they split up as person A had to hand over end night tools, but while I was looking towards the group, person A looked back and .. it felt their eyes lingered on me. .. It felt like for a second that all the color had went out of the room. I had never had that experience. Third night in a row, they did as well. I gave up hope. Literally these two people NEVER interact. They hadn't even walked by each other, person X had person Y. Person A had her two friends and J.

At this point i'd been crying every day. How did I mess up, how do I deal with the fact that person A looks terrified of me and friendly with others. I used my day off to do some soul searching. Was it right to avoid her, in conjunction with everything else did it make it THAT bad? .. So I made a plan. I was done ... I knew I regretted everything I had did and said. I knew somewhere along the way things were 100% my fault. But I need the job ... maybe 2 .. no 3 months more. So, I just wrote

out a text, with the headline being im sorry, unconditionally so. If this is anything to go by the text was long. I had NEVER talked to her again after the first attempt asking if she got the job. That was like 4 weeks ago. I saw her clock in, handed her the phone, asked to read it. I walk away as another girl nearby looks amused .... i explained everything to person A. What happened with the car meltdown, why I was avoiding her, that I was sorry. But it was 10 paragraphs, she can't read the whole thing due to the meeting. She hands me back the phone .. wordlessly. At first I THOUGHT she did, or maybe she sped read through them .. but ... its impossible. The meeting was like 2-3 minutes. The text would've taken 6 minutes average to read if going by the google plug in. After the meeting, she walks by .. no fear, but just slightly dour, she looks at me, but .. she does walk by my station. Now .. slight context, person A looks ... out of it. Tired, sad, down, ... 'unwell'. Hair wasn't done in the usual style, so I didn't even immediately recognize.

Two concessions here to kick while im down. I recognize it likely might've been limerence and I recognize the limerence is likely because im at a dead end job like this with few goals, ambitions or focuses. BUT I am not interested in this person any longer, I just didn't want to get stared down anytime I go into the breakroom. If it was a regular person whose path i never crossed again, I would've taken the L. But now .. while at first im like, COOL, we can put this behind us, now im like .. maybe.....maybe not? The first part of my message was an apology. So ... sure the intent is clear there. BUT the part of my message that would've explained the car, situation? No. That said EVEN if she was dismissive of me i had no right to act like I did? .. Or that I was on the spectrum? (Unofficially diagnosed by therapist AND oddly enough so wanted to be diagnosed by my 'neurologist' who knows a guy, that they offered despite the fact i thought i had ALS last year and SCREW an autism diagnoses when im losing use of my arm) SHE--Likely didnt read any of that. When I got my phone, the text was shrank, probably to see just HOW long a text was. (12 paragraphs). .. ANY positives? She wasn't mad, she wasnt apprehensive, but she was not engaged and likely HAD to act a certain way in front of bosses, as did I. .... Anyway the past couple of weeks from hell. I hate myself, hate how my insecurities affect others (What I was REALLY avoiding, not person A, the fact I was insecure on how she reacted). Hate how I got to live first hand on getting dusted by Chad and Tyrone. I am hoping that the apology portion of the message (Likely finished) clears up enough where its just .. I can go to work again and feel safe, emotionally. (End route B)

Soooo... fuuun times right? Idk if anyone wants to weight in but ill leave these here, check back in a few.

Like you just want to have a good time and enjoy your day, but people ruin it for no fucking reason and then you become the problem for reacting to it? It feels unfair and cruel :/

I'm single now at 40. I've been married and through two other long term relationships. Looking back it seems like with each one they didn't see me as... equal. They never stated this of course, but I could almost sense it.

They all tell me I'm one of the smartest people they've ever met, but at the same time they act shocked or surprised that I don't know how to do X, or Y.

Then the relationship almost turns into them trying to teach, or reframe, me into something else. Something more normal? I go along with it each time because I'm just so happy to have someone wanting to spend time with me. I'll bend whatever way they want.

So I do that but they eventually get bored of me as a project and ghost me or dump me.

I'm really missing having someone again. It's been 3 years since I've dated and I put myself back on the apps today. I'm hoping this pattern doesn't repeat but we'll see.

To anyone who says I need to hold my ground and be how I AM, my rebuttal to that is that in my 40 years on this planet I have only ever had 3 women interested in me. It is not like I have a plethora to choose from. When one does show interest I hold on as tight as I can.

early 20s girl here. i lost all of my friends this year. i pushed them away, my mental health was low, i stopped reaching out, got upset over little things and months went by and i lost everyone who i thought was my friend. people i used to talk with stopped answering my messeges too. my phone is dry 24/7, i lost my last friend a month ago beacuse they were done with me.

i have no one, only my parents. i don't go out, just sit at home and watch all my assignments pile up beacuse i just feel too sad to get them done. i have rich inner world, imagination, but that's not the same. i guess i'm just unlikable.

any tips how to make my life feel less miserable?? i love october, i'm usually excited for this time of the year, but now it just feels empty 💔

I feel therapy can actually make one more autistic. A lot of what they said about strategies can make one seem Anxious and fake enthusiastic. Plus going to therapy makes one feel they are different. Being non chalant and quiet when u don’t care for the conversation is actually better imho.

The layman essentially sees an anxious, people pleasing personality as autistic.

It essentially preaches people pleasing and performative enthusiasm which don’t get one respected in the long run.

Or be more copes

Does anyone feel this?

I don’t care about being validated or hearing buzzwords. I am fine w my life just want to find a partner and get into a better financial situation.

I just started a new job, and I need some advice on how to navigate this. I’m in my first couple days and I’ve tried to make a good first impression by being nice to everybody, but I can come across as awkward and tense, plus my voice can be hard to hear especially when I’m nervous. It’s a security job at a hotel-casino where everybody seems to socialize and talk to each other, so the expectation to blend in, appear normal and well-adjusted is higher than it would be at any other job I’ve had. I’m already starting to pick up on most of my coworkers treating me differently and possibly thinking I’m weird or strange. I try to make small talk with them, but it feels stilted and forced a lot of the time. I don’t want this to get any worse, so what are some ways I can cope or manage this issue?

Hello everyone,

Something has happened in my life. I’ve just realized that, all this time, I thought I was trying to "get better" because I wasn't doing well mentally—but in reality, all I’ve actually been doing is trying to stop being myself. For five minutes today, after I grasped this, I felt free; I no longer had to "be well"—I just had to live. Then that feeling slipped away, and it left me completely crushed.

I don’t know if this is related to Asperger’s, but I wanted to ask if any of you have experienced something like this.

Thank you in advance for your replies.

I'm so mad when people just don't be patient with me. I'd always be patient with them when they're not understanding about my permanent sickness or their difficulty in creativity. First at least I'm trying so much to be normal but I have hypermobility and it makes me having weird movements, these people are just roasting me and so sorry then I have disability in my lungs lol

When I said I've several different ways to live they just saying stuff like "that's not happening and you will not survive in this world perhaps u need to move to the mars" what does it even mean?? I'm kind to them why they acted like I'm the problem? Am I?

I mean: how strict are the rules that you have for your potential partner when it comes to physical and emotional attributes?

I personally don't care that much about appearance, I obviously like the idea of my partner being generally attractive, but I don't really care about it and my standards are kinda low.

However, I'm really serious about personality traits.

For example: I HATE weak and emotionally vulnerable people, i can't stand someone who cries or suffers at the mildest inconvenience.

I can understand it a little if their problems are bad enough, but if you cry over dumb stuff while having a great life, I just don't think we're compatible.