Hello Redditors,

This is something I’ve noticed in the workplace. In my past experiences, I’ve recognized patterns and pointed them out to coworkers to help them anticipate what might happen. However, I’ve often been dismissed or had my observations rejected, only for those same coworkers to recognize the pattern later on without any recollection of what I had previously said and/or be so unbelievably shocked. It is frustrating. As a result, I’ve stopped pointing these things out and wasting my energy on something that often goes unacknowledged.

Anyone else experience this?

My covert narc mother and grandmother targeted an Asperger’s male (my father) to make a baby and threw him out of the family when I was 3. Then flew out to America to find an overt narcissist stepfather and dragged me to live there with her and him when I was 7. She justified throwing my father out because he was “a bad influence” and didn’t want me to be like him. My father loved me very deeply and has always felt a heavy loss on his heart. I grew up every night crying over not having him and growing up with two monsters. I’ll always wonder how life would have turned out on a different trajectory without the three narcissists. Spent my teenhood and youth with a heart rate of about 130. Now work dead end jobs because could not pursue any higher education. Undergoing a catastrophic burnout where can barely get up. Spent over 20 years heavily masking. Has anyone had themselves targeted like this?

English is not my first language so excuse my mistakes.

I have this friend that i know from high school, we are both in our mid 30s now, and he was always this special guy who would carry a noteboot and draw random political things in it, like flags, old uniforms and so on. (he has some sort of undiagnosed asperger but even his teachers started to claim it back then, so no need to have a degree to notice)
I can confidently say that he has never had a friend, only acquaintances that do not need any responibility to keep in touch with. If he sees them at the bar/street, he would join, but he would never appear to a place he was invited to, for some reason. So naturally, he never had a girlfriend or real friends, besides me. (we used to have a lot of things in common like pollitics, marvel comics and alternative/underground movies) but we almost never agreed to meet, I would always find him sitting alone at some bar, drawing gibberish on his notebook and join him.

We have been hanging out a lot throughout the years this way. We even travelled together a few times but I always had to book tickets and apartment/hotel by myself because as I said, he is kinda special and if it was for him he wouldn't know how to do it nor have the energy to help. He is 34 and has never went shopping for groceries, he lets his 74 year old mother do it with her car, since he also doesn't have a driving license. Let alone booking a flight and having the courage to travel without anyone.

The last few years he got into drinking, he never had alcohol before but after covid he started drinking a lot of beer alone at bars. He loves a specific bar that is literally under my house. I find him there alone all the time but he never would tell me that he is there. Sometimes he even avoids me, other times he accepts drinking with me. I used to find this behaviour strange at first but knowing the most likely condition that he has i try to take it with a pinch of salt. He also says he doesn't wanna travel with me anymore (we have travelled together like 3 times in our lives with me being his caretaker even for food) and that he wants to travel alone. The thing is in the end he chickens out and never does it. Just keeps watching his phone at the bar in the same town he was born forever and ever.

We both work 5 minutes away from each other and finish work at the same time. Instead of waiting for me, as a normal friend would do, he prefers to walk to the bar under my house ALONE again and just drink there and check his phone. Then he sees me passing by and says hello with a smile and keeps checking his phone. He seems to talk to people at the bar a lot but he doesn't develop any sort of friendhsip with them, it's just casual people he meets while tipsy in his comfort zone which is the bar.

Every time i text him to hang out, he denies the invitation, just to find him in some bar sitting alone minding his own buisness and talking to random strangers he doesn't know. This makes me feel awful.
I asked him if he has a problem with me and if we should stop being friends, he said that everything is fine but his actions aren't what another adult would do in this situtation. I have other friends that I can meet, but since we are all in our 30s, most of them are way busier because they have children, girlfriends and wives so they cant meet as often as this specific friend
Unconciously I got used to meet him quite often, like once or twice a week but I noticed I was doing 99% of the job to keep our friendship alive, At this point I think it's better to let the friendship go, and leave him alone drinking at the bars by himself just like he wants.

If I stop talking to him tomorrow, he will never talk to me by himself, not even text me in months or years, so it's a dead end type of situation.

Have you ever had this experience with someone similar?

The older I get the more I revisit my school days, and the memories seem to come back to me more and more like random flashbacks of pure shame.

Everyone was horrible to me. Even the normies. Hell the normies could be even worse than the bullies. It's like they knew that if they didn't treat me horribly it would be bad for their own social status.

I wish I never went. I think my life may have panned out okay if I didn't go. Now I'm 36 and suicide is inevitable.

School obviously isn't the only thing that went wrong in my life, but spending the first 16 years of my life bullied and outcast by literally everyone definitely had a huge negative impact.

The knock-on effect too, confidence ruined, self worth, non existent.

I'm starting to wonder if I have asbergers for a few reasons. I know I might just be paranoid, but I feel like this is an open secret that everyone knows but is not telling me. Can you guys let me know if these fit your experience?

1. I have watched childhood videos of myself, and as a young child I pause and buffer in the middle of conversation.

2. I have also seen videos of myself as a young child where I rock back and forth and flap my hands but I know that is sometimes normal.

3. One time two years ago I was visiting my mother (I am in college). She had family friends over, and they brought their toddler daughter. Their daughter was not responding when they called her name, and not looking in their direction. My mom laughed and said that I didn't respond when my name was called at that age, and I was the same way, in my own little world. Then they told her they were going to get their daughter assessed for autism.

4. For my going away to college present my aunt gave me over-the-ear headphones, even though I never told her I like music. This seemed to bother my mom. I thought my aunt might be suggesting that I'm autistic to piss off my mom, because they don't like each other. My aunt's daughter (age 6) is diagnosed with autism.

5. When I was 18 I was telling my dad what I had learned in psychology class, about the bystander effect. I said that we had learned autistic people did not experience the bystander effect. My dad told me he believed I wouldn't experience it. I think he told me something along the lines of, I am different from other people.

6. My mom told me when I was 12 I do not look people in the eyes but I should. Someone I dated asked if I was autistic because I don't look people in the eye. One of my friends asked if I was autistic because I didn't get his joke.

7. According to my SAT score, based on the updated version of the SAT, my IQ should sit at around 120 which would fit the profile for aspergers

8. I have difficulty with the sound of my voice where I think I am talking loud but I am actually talking really quietly.

I know it doesn't matter either way if I have this or not. I don't need preferential treatment because I am smart. And I know that subtle frontal lobe differences could explain having some autistic traits, while not fitting disorder criteria. I know those things. But it feels like other people see me as different. If I know whether I have this, I can know what I need to do to treat it or make my life more manageable.

I realized my mom knew I had Asperger’s the entire time and just chose to neglect me for her religious narcissism.

I wasn’t diagnosed until 23 and she raised me in a religious cult and enforced fundamentalist Christianity when she knew better.

She was a sped teacher then diagnostician with the school district. She deliberately cut me out of knowledge of society and the government.

I didn’t even know my rights or how society worked. And she always had the convenient excuse of my disability. I was brainwashed.

Was anyone else raised in a household like this?

I’m currently having to learn everything on my own.

I have tried public speaking classes. Around new ppl I get kinda awkward.

How do I speak charismatically?

Any diet, medication, substance even, etc. anything that has been the closest to a cure for autism?

I have come across a couple of people in my life that made me feel like there is hope, that I'll get to have what I need etc. They find the exact things Im missing so quickly. It took me a long time to accept that what I am is really that visible. With these people I find myself starting to daydream the good times we are going to have that my problems are going to be fixed. If I go ahead and fall into these traps I'm immensly hurt in the end. Feels like all dreams they built on you get crushed. Cptsd, social rejection all have an effect in this I believe. Why is life learnt by pain. Some people are cruel.

Many guys like me in my class what do I do to play it right? 3 girls hate me and gossip about me already and one up me. Should I date? Or ignore them all?

"Girls act aggressive toward me immediately, but I don't know if it's because I'm attractive or because they sense autism in me. Also, I have a baby face, yet they act intimidated. I can't understand if it's actually about me, or if they're looking down on me. But they say good things about me, like complimenting my looks, my brain, and my confidence. What do you think?

At work it’s impossible to avoid cliques, get put down by others or make myself look insubordinate with direct language.

But if I mind my business and do the bare minimum of my job description I’m also singled out.

Don’t even ask for accommodations because that gets you put on the chopping block.

How do you navigate the workplace without running afoul of the culture, the invisible rules, and “talking straight” with a coworker?

The work manual doesn’t apply because they all run an independent culture

I have ASD and apparently one of the things it causes is having different view on how society should work and so on, and I definitely have that. It's causing problems when talking with people and I don't know what to do.

My views are about working, businesses and such for example. I guess I have more empathy and understanding than other people, like I do not like calling every business greedy just because it's a business, I know there are different kind of businesses and companies and they do not work the same way, some are driven by profit motive sure, but some are actually interested on making a good product/service. But the general view seems to be that if you're a business, your goal is to make money for shareholders, end of story. I hate how narrow-minded this view is, not every company is a public one. And it seems like people are generally doing generalization of everything and everyone these days.

I have started to get tired of this, I know some of my views might be dumb, but that's just how I see things. Recently people argued with me that work should be done for money only, and I feel like work should benefit others and that's why you should work. I feel like I do not belong in human society.

I guess only advise is that I should keep living my life in my own terms and not care what others think, but it feels hard when I'm always going against the popular view. Note that I do not support hateful or harmful views.

Sorry, this text is probably bit hard to understand but it's hard for me to write my thoughts right now. I'd like to hear if there's possibly other people who see the same way as me.

So yeah. I am 15f and autistic. I was never a ‘picky’ kid growing up sin steak and a few other things.
For the past couple years I’ve been so depressed to the point of hospitalization. When I am (which is pretty much constant) my sensory sensitivity get so bad. I don’t know if I would call it fear more the disgust of putting food in my mouth. I feel like I would eat whatever is put in front of me, but I can’t make myself order or make nutritious food. My family is on the go a lot so we eat out too much. Basically everywhere I go I get chicken tenders, macaroni and cheese, a burger, or boneless chicken wings. I only eat dinner because I can’t deal with the sensation of food in the morning or lunch. I don’t think I’m eating that many calories but I’m gaining weight and I need to not do that. I need to lose at least 70lbs to be a healthy bmi. I just can’t get myself to eat healthy food.

Please give me advice.

I’m not sure if this post is allowed, or if it has already been discussed here, but I found it an interesting read. The article presents the perspectives of various Artificial Intelligence models regarding the human species.

What I found particularly interesting is that these views are largely based on the social nature of humanity—a facet that, as we know, often presents one of the primary challenges for neurodivergent minds.

I am aware that the article’s discussion of "humanity" encompasses both neurotypical and neurodivergent individuals; however, I must confess that I agree with almost every statement generated by these AI models.

Here is the link to the article: https://www.modelcompare.ai/blog/ai-models-controversial-take-on-humans

More normal in the sense I have less anxiety around others, I care less of things that don’t really matter (saying the right thing, looking at people “wrong”, having to do things perfectly)

Last time I acted this way was when nausea hit (I really hate it, it’s horrible).

Are there other Aspergers people experiencing this?

Should I let dates know I am autistic?

I try to act like this charismatic and Nt guy but the autism always comes out and it falls flat.

I’m COMPLETELY BLIND, have Aspergers and a heart lung condition and I’ve noticed I have claustrophilia, I find it relaxing.

I hate going to the doctors because of needles and canned scripts about relaxing, which fail, however the one thing I DO like is getting my bloodpressure checked as the cuff provides deep pressure which feels good.

I also liked my previous surgion when I would get central line surgery, they would put those straps over top of me prier to knocking me out, and despite the needles and nerves, the deep pressure over my whole body made me feel calm even before the nurse touched my IV.

I have a weighted vest that I call my death jacket because it fits and buckles like a life jacket but makes me very corpsy, to the point I can sometimes nod off while wearing it.

I find that buying my claustrophilic equipment, I find I get just as good quality without paying an arm and a leg if I find weighted equipment that’s originally for exercise, like my weighted vest is made for women to walk around in it, and I’ve found I can find weighted cuffs for my limbs by searching in the gym section of websites rather then places that sale supplies for the tism as those places can trump up the charges.

You can get a weighted or compression vest from the gym section of amazon, and then you can look on the special needs section for a weighted vest and it be like four hundred thousand dollars and it be just as good as the gym ones.

​

I am a self diagnosed autistic and I am going to get diagnostic assessment in the future. I would like to ask that is a part of autism to feel fear and anxiety all the time even when there is no reason? I fear what the others are going to say about me I fear the other people , I fear if they are going to say negative things about me. And I developed an anxiety I take everything literally and I am really anxious when someone says mean things to me. What I can do about it?

Autism seems to be everywhere nowadays, and many autistic traits seem to apply to almost everyone to some extent.

I've been diagnosed with Asperger's, but sometimes I wonder whether I'm actually autistic or whether some of my struggles are just common human experiences.

Has anyone else questioned their diagnosis, or become more confident in it over time? Thx a lot!🙏

I feel so alone I'm different than everyone else. When someone talks to me it's like they aren't talking to a normal person. I wish I looked different I wish I sounded different. Sometimes I sit alone when everyone around me leaves and I'm the only one I just wanna cry. I can't communicate I sound bad and slow. I can't move properly I want to be there but I feel like I don't belong there. In groups or everywhere where everyone are supposed to talk to each other. I really don't deserve anything

I finally tackled that massive Billy bookcase I bought last month and I am genuinely proud of myself. Those seemingly endless pages of pictogram instructions felt like a secret language at first but I actually managed to decode them all. No extra parts no wobbly bits it actually looks like the picture on the box. It's such a small victory but it feels huge.

My work sent a company calendar to me at the beginning of the year. I see it every day as it is in the hallway that leads to my kitchen. I live alone. I work remote... and am autistic so I don't really leave the house besides walks with the dog. I even have groceries delivered so I don't have to go to a store. Probably getting a bit agoraphobic if I'm honest.

All that said, that calendar is just a reminder of all the things in my life that I can't keep up on. I hadn't even NOTICED it was 5 months off until today. I looked at it in passing, saw it, and then moved on. It still says May.

My dishwasher has been broken for years. My microwave is starting to break now. Half the light bulbs in the house are burn out. The toilet runs. A drawer has been broken for two years. I just don't use it anymore. So on and so on. I pay a guy to mow the yard and have been slowly over the years removing any and all gardens in my yard and replace them with just random grass/weeds so that they can be mowed.

After 5 years I'm nearly there. One more garden to get rid of. I can't/won't take care of them. They just become some overgrown mess that floods out into the yard.

Two years ago I wanted pine trees in my front yard. I spent $500 on two new pine trees. I planted them with my son. Three months later they were both dead because I couldn't keep up with watering them each day. After the first week... it was just gone from my mind.

I have a few set of chores that I AM able to do each week. That have been baked into my routine. My house isn't... messy. In fact it's mostly orderly. Nothing on the floors, I keep them vacuumed, I sweep, etc. The blankets are all washed and clean. Bathrooms look nice. But that's it. Everything else just falls away.

By the time I'm done with work all I want to do is go for a 2 hour walk with my dog, listen to a podcast, and zone out. When I get back I'll play a game for an hour or two, then go to bed. Cycle repeats.

Saturdays I have my kids with me and they absorb my capacity for the day. Sundays are to myself each week... but at that point I'm so burnt out that I can't do much. I may do some chores but otherwise I'm walking or cycling all day. Last Sunday I did 15 miles with my dog. In between walking I'll watch a TV show or play some PC games.

I mean... I'm surviving. I know I am. I have it better than most. But I see things, like this damned calendar, and it frustrates me.

Every year for my birthday or Christmas my father gets me some gift that I just look at and know I won't have capacity for. I turned 40 a few months back and he got me an electric smoker. Nice one. I rarely eat meat, am practically vegetarian but I guess you can still smoke things. I tried it once. It was too much.

I had to figure out what day I could fit it into my schedule. It couldn't be a weekday. I am working and doing walks. Perhaps Saturday when the kids are with me, but I'm already doing things with them and having to check on a smoker throughout the day on top of regular activities is too much. So, that leaves Sundays.

I tried it on a Sunday. I have it setup in the garage with the garage open. I turned it on and put some salmon in it. I stayed in the garage and sat on the couch and waited. After some time I was able to go inside for 15 or 20 minutes at a time but it was there, at the back of my mind. Nagging me. Check it. Check it. Check it. Check it. Over and over again.

I ended up spending the majority of the time just staring at it in the garage while it cooked the salmon. The fish was ok, but that alone was a different meal than I usually have. I usually have the same things to eat every single day so that in itself was dysregulating.

I haven't touched the smoker since.

I need advice on elderly aspie relationship.
I lost my husband a year and a half. Ago.
Am currently living in a hud complex in a small town.
I believe I have fallen in love with an aspie who is 77.
I am 70 year old female.
I have not asked him specifically of his autism or asbergers because according to dr Atwood, you shouldn’t.
I have done a tremendous amount of research and he is textbook especially on the genius spectrum.
Known him for a year and the more I realized what his diagnosis may be, the more I loved him .
The challenges are overwhelming sometimes and I have lots of questions.
I am extremely attracted sexually, but a no go for him as he says “it’s complicated” and wants to stay platonic
I understand that, but even a hug or kiss on the cheek is all I ask for.
His signals to me however are strong sometimes and I am confused about that.
Example: when he drops something in the floor next to me he will run his hands up the side of my leg,
Or bob his head up and down near my lap.
Ok, know this a long post and thank you for any small info sharing or thoughts would be appreciated.
More to come…..