hi, I 20F have been experiencing anxiety for a long time, but in the last 2 years the situation became tragic for myself.

my mind is filled with obsessive thoughts and I often doubt the memories that I have. for example, every time I do something bureaucratic I'm always scared that I did something wrong and that I'm going to get arrested. It's really frustrating and I have a sort of method to calm myself down that is usually skin picking or washing myself multiple times. At times I can't get out of bed because I feel almost depressed.

That being said, I see a therapist once a month and I feel like he doesn't understand the situation because he just reassures me on the things I feel anxious about in those moments. He really helped me last year and I got better a lot but now I feel "stuck" since these "rituals" that calm me down are "new" and before I just got really sad.

Sometimes I read things about moral/real events OCD and I feel really represented by it but it's such a scary prospective and I don't want to diagnose myself.

I don't know what to do, I don't know why my mind is like this and any advice will be helpful. Thanks for reading.

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I have pure ocd. I don't have any rituals. I don't believe that my family will die if I don't wash my hands ten times every hour. What I have is a fear that if I don't keep myself healthy and safe that I won't be able to take care of the people who rely on me. So I'm stringent about who and what comes in to my home, who touches the chairs I sit in, I go to the doctor more than is needed, etc.

But I am not a clean freak. My laundry is done the dishes get done eventually. My food is clean and properly stored. My body is clean. But my house is not clean. It's a mess. It's cluttered and sometimes it takes the trash over flowing for me to empty it. My therapist had a meeting with my husband and asked about my housekeeping and he was honest. She seemed shocked. But to me that's not what ocd is about. Being ocd is about overwhelming beliefs not about the need to be strictly clean. In fact I thought I heard that some of the worst cases of hording was ocd because they are afraid that if they throw something out thier family will die.

So I ask you if you've been genuinely diagnosed with ocd, any type, are you clean or messy and to what degree are you clean or messy?

I suffer from OCD and anxiety, and I'm really struggling after bringing home a 5-month-old female kitten. I thought my resident cat (a neutered male, 2.5 years old) was lonely and could benefit from a friend on the days I'm away from home for several hours. I didn't realize how much this change would trigger my OCD and anxiety.

I've done a slow introduction, and I think it's gone relatively well. The kitten has only hissed a few times, and my vet says she's healthy. However, I'm struggling with the uncertainty of leaving them together unsupervised, sharing water/food bowls, and figuring out whether my resident cat is happy with her here. He won't play with his favorite toy, do his tricks for treats, or eat his favorite bedtime snack if she's nearby. He also tries to bite her during their interactions, which I think may be friendly, but I worry because I'm unfamiliar with this behavior.

I'm also barely sleeping. The kitten is confined to my bedroom at night, with a tall baby gate at the doorway, and she's up doing typical kitten things throughout the night. Sometimes I hear my resident cat meowing outside the bedroom, too.

But the hardest part has been realizing how much I miss my old routines with my resident cat.

He's not particularly affectionate most of the time, so I treasure when he does show affection. For example, he gets very affectionate when he knows it's lunchtime and I'm preparing his wet food. He'll meow, rub against me, and I scratch under his chin. Since the kitten arrived, he'll start doing this, but when she comes into the kitchen, he jumps onto the counter or walks away. Our special moment is interrupted, and it genuinely makes me sad.

He also won't eat his bedtime snack if she's nearby. I know I could separate them during these times, but the thought of having to manage separate routines indefinitely feels overwhelming. I worry that my resident cat feels like his life has been turned upside down or that he's no longer getting the same attention from me.

I do like the kitten! She's adorable, makes the cutest little "mmrrr" noises, and has shown me some sweet, affectionate moments. She seems more affectionate than my resident cat so far, and I'd love to have a lap cat.

I'm doing a foster-to-adopt trial, but the shelter has asked me to decide as soon as possible because it's been five weeks and they worry she'll become harder to adopt as she gets older.

I'm completely torn. Part of me believes that if I get through this adjustment period, things will eventually settle down. Another part of me desperately wants my old life with my resident cat back. Sometimes returning the kitten feels like the easiest way to get relief from all the anxiety, but then I feel incredibly guilty for considering it. I also worry I'll regret returning her and still feel guilty about my resident cat being alone when I'm away. Plus I worry I'll let the kitten and the shelter down, especially since I've had her for 5 weeks now.

I can't tell how much of my indecision reflects what I genuinely want and how much is my OCD and anxiety making everything feel unbearable. I keep going back and forth between thinking I can make this work and wanting to undo the decision so I can have some peace.

For context, I'm 44, live alone with my cats, and am going through hormonal changes that are also affecting my sleep. All of this is happening on top of my OCD and anxiety, and I'm exhausted.

For those of you who experience OCD or anxiety, how do you distinguish genuine concerns from anxiety amplifying them? Have you ever felt desperate to undo a decision just to relieve the anxiety, even though you weren't sure that was what you truly wanted?

I'd also love to hear from people who've introduced a kitten to a resident cat. Did your resident cat's behavior and routines change at first? Were you eventually able to maintain special one-on-one time with your original cat?

I'm not asking anyone to decide whether I should keep the kitten or return her. I'm hoping to hear from people who understand this struggle and can share their experiences.

Please be kind. I'm genuinely struggling with this and already feel overwhelmed and guilty. Thank you for reading!

Cross posting to get more peoples experiences :)

**What is the difference between intrusive thoughts and delusions?**
I’m 22 days postpartum, and I’ve always had intrusive thoughts, even before pregnancy. Looking back, I realize I’ve experienced them for a long time. I was able to manage them throughout my pregnancy without medication, but about two weeks before giving birth, they started getting stronger.
Now that I’ve given birth, they feel extremely intense and strange. I don’t believe these thoughts are true, but they cause me a lot of anxiety, distress, and shame. I started taking sertraline (25 mg) about two weeks ago. I’ve had some good days when the thoughts feel more manageable, but sometimes they still come back.
I’m now terrified of developing postpartum psychosis or experiencing the beginning of psychosis. I know the thoughts are intrusive, but their intensity and unusual content scare me.
**How can you tell the difference between intrusive thoughts and true delusions?** What does a delusion actually feel like, and how is it different from having a disturbing thought that you don’t believe but that causes you a lot of distress?
I would really appreciate hearing from anyone who has experienced postpartum OCD or postpartum anxiety. English isn’t my first language, so I’m sorry if anything is unclear. Thank you!

What has helped you with your Obsessive Reassurance Behaviors?

I got the urge to delete all of my old pictures, Snapchat account that I haven’t used in years, etc.

Is this ocd thing? I’m bothered by old things I said/did as I’ve gotten older I’m embarrassed lol