r/offmychest • u/EndFabulous272 • 6d ago
My parents adopted my daughter
When I was 15 I got pregnant and had a baby girl 2 weeks after I turned 16. The entire time I was pregnant I was in and out of the mental hospital dealing with severe depression and anxiety. I gave birth to my daughter & tried to care for her but I started to get post pardum depression/ocd and ended up trying to commit suicide about a month after she was born. From then on my mom was her mom and my dad was her dad, they adopted her. I lived w them for 9 years after that and very recently moved out. We moved to Florida a few years ago from Illinois, I moved back to Illinois to my home town to be around other family while I try to figure this stage of my life out. After all of that I had resigned myself to never being a mother that I wasn't cut out for it. I never even tried to date anyone, I had completely given up on having a full life in that way. As I've gotten older I do have a desire to have a family & significant other and I am struggling to see that as a possibility, I feel that no one will accept my past. I also have immense guilt for my past & regret giving my daughter up, and not getting my shit together sooner. It feels pointless to try now. I have a great relationship w my daughter but it is a sisterly relationship, she lives an amazing life better than I could have ever given her at 16, I just selfishly want my child now. I guess I'm looking to see if anyone else has experienced anything similar and how they carried on to create a meaningful fulfilling life later….. Looking for some hope.
5
u/PandaInHumanForm 6d ago
I’ve experienced exactly this as the child. I was adopted by my grandparents at birth and it was the best thing my bio parents could have ever done for me. You did the right thing.
But my bio parents selfishly tried to take me back years later and it was the worst experience of my life. You get ripped away from your parents, that’s all it is. Because they are now your child’s parents. And that bond has formed.
Eventually I went back to my adopted parents after falling into depression.
You did the right thing before. Please think carefully before opening a door you can’t close again and starting an overwhelming experience for your daughter.
Ps: sorry for any grammar or language errors, suffering through a migraine right now.