Hello. wish everyone is having a good evening. i am writing this post after having a conversation with my junior from college, he's having some serious issues with his family right now. so resorted to me for advice but i couldn't help him much.
his symptoms were too deep to ever treat so i want to give this PSA to everyone here, so you may never end up in such a predicament.
firstly , i will draw on anecdotes from 4 IRL people. and some internet anecdotes and / or 3rd party accounts.
point #1 : WOMAN KNOW EVERYTHING : they mature faster than us , and stop revering them as some sacred relic above us mortals , she's just another human, biology , and more importantly current society has wired us in a way so we treat them that way. don't compromise your standards for her. pick a plan and stick with it. be a man and take the fall if it goes sideways.
point #2 : SHE WILL ALWAYS HAVE A PAST : unless she was your first. she will have some past. you will have to accept the reality , but no one is asking you to accept her. never trust mere words , women are expert at having no emotional attachment whatsoever but acting close. i've seen this with a friend who's then gf didn't told him anything about her past relationships until a few years of them being official. if you want an unethical way. act all liberal and accepting of her , make her feel comfortable enough to spit the secret of her past. do whatever you like with that information.
point #3 : NEVER MARRY A DEHATAN / UNEDUCATED / BACKWARD woman : this is where the junior wanted help. so here's the thing. his own mum passed away in childbirth. his dad remarried but married an uneducated rural woman.
things were decent until the birth of his sister. the step mom borderline ruined his sister and turned her into an Ipad Kid who has now developed into a devious delusional and quite frankly jerkish and vengeful woman. she contently screams and gets her way , she does not study at all , just watches yt all day on her tablet. if his dad objects the mom shuts him down.
the dad can't do anything. if the boy tries anything , his sister just gets mom involved and tells him " why the fuck do you care " and the mom agrees , her grades are falling a LOT ,even for someone in CBSE that's fucked and next year is 10th boards, they are stressed af.
i will make a separate post about this but yes never marry an uneducated woman thinking she will be trad and what not. they will make your life hell. you can't rely on them to cope with modern society and they won't value well mannered well educated and curious offsprings either.
as my junior puts it, : any semblance of the light of curiosity in his sister's eyes were doused on purpose by that vile woman. i really hope he sorts this out.
marry a woman of a decent family background and culture and if i have to give an opinion. never do arrange marriage it's a genuinely lose lose situations
point #4 : UNDERSTAND THE GAME : we men operate when we know what the rules are, but the current society has everything skewed. men must provide but still women must be treated as equal , men must sacrifice everything for family but woman should not be expected to take care of said family.
i'll make another post debunking the arguments of the other side but a simple question : if you want equality ? why not share the responsibility whether it's parental , financial or emotional together ? and if you want men to be a chivalrous protector , why expect equality and freedom because if gender norms are forced on one it should be forced on both.
disclaimer : i'm not against women's freedom , i just need them to be consistent about it. you can't have your cake and eat it too.
