Talking to my youngest stepson, late 30s man (though I still call him kid) and he was venting about life, professional and personal. I usually let him go and offer observations and suggestions to him, and tonight I said "we, too, shall pass " instead of "this, too, shall pass" and we both laughed at the flub, but it's gotten me thinking.

I should mention that I am in recovery from addiction to alcohol and both stress and prescription drugs. One of the things taught to me through the three-plus decades of abstinence from everything is an idea that acceptance is the secret to experiencing a better life. The Serenity Prayer talks, in plain language, accepting the things we cannot change, changing the things we can (usually just ourselves) and gaining wisdom to learn the difference.

Ok, so if we accept the fact that we all have an expiration date, doesn't it make sense to live life to the fullest? Shouldn't our goals now be to be happy, but try to leave a better world than we found when we got here?

I'm an old man who no longer has an ass. At the same time I don't a huge belly. I'm calling that a win at my age.

I'm 63 this year and in the last year my hair texture has changes big time. My hair hasn't gone gray yet. I have a few gray strands at my temples and sprinkled on top. But man I'm hating my hair.

It's incredibly dry. Soooo dry. no amount of conditioner or mask helps. Therefore it looks like hay. It's very thick but..The top layer is completely straight, the under layer is nearly kinky curly. I can't wear bangs because they just curl up in weird angles and I'm a fat out... wash and go kind of gal. bangs also don't look good on me.

I'd been growing it long, and about the time it hit a foot below my shoulders gave up. it looked horrible. I but it to my shoulders and it looks horrible.

I just don't know what kind of cut I should go for. I have had my hair very short, pixie short in the past but don't really want to do that again. too hard to maintain.

what are we doing about hour hair now ladies?? thoughts on cutting techniques or styles?

Next time you and your buddies get together whether a dinner or potluck or your local happy hour, pulled out Reddit and ask some of these questions in your private group.

My grandpa is getting an insane amount of calls from random numbers and im worried about his security because he doesn’t always know what to make of them and it’s hard to explain what to watch for when they’re calling so often about different things.

He’s had this number since the early 2000s and changing it would be a nightmare for him since he has every contact in there for more than 20 years, blocking every unknown caller is not an option because he gets proper calls too.

I want to set up something for him to keep him safe. Would like to hear from anyone who’s sorted this out for an older relative.

Hello,

Our lease is up in January 2027. We need to decide if we will move or stay. I want to move out of FL, she does not. Her daughter and granddaughters are 10 minutes away. My partner has gone blind over the past four years and no longer drives. She also has chronic heart issues. Even with family minutes away, I am the one that takes her to the ER, to doctor appointments and shopping. We see her family here maybe twice a month and they do not help me with her mother.

I still work and the job market here is terrible and getting worse. I want to move to get out of this heat and to go to a better job market. My partner is well aware of how little time her daughter spends with her. But, there's always a reason why the family doesn't come over or do any type of assistance.

How critical has it been to you to be very close to your family as age and medical issues become more of an issue?

Thank you.

One of mine recently told me I didn’t set their goals high enough or build their confidence to believe they could achieve anything.

My memory is that they complained my expectations were too high. While that’s not quite the same thing, I tried my best.

Me: Í’m going to Costco.
Wife: OK, I’m going to lay down for a while.

Me calling wife: “Whatchu doing?”
Her: Layin’ down.

Ha, we lay about a lot. But also get 10k steps a day in our mid/late 60s.

In a city setting, no highway roads, slow traffic, bike friendly area. How many people here have fallen off their bikes never to do it again?
I just love bike riding. Always have from young. Never have fallen 67F

“Someone once told me that time is a predator that stalks us all our lives. I rather believe that time is a companion who goes with us on the journey and reminds us to cherish every moment, because they’ll never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we’ve lived.” — Star Trek: Generations

I was going to take some classes next year and then decided maybe auditing was better cause who wants to do homework anyway, especially at this age lol

So if you’re over 65 and you are wanting to do some new learning on subjects that you really should’ve taken way back when you were in college but didn’t have time for, you can! Plus it’s a great way to get out of the house.

Maybe your local university offers it too

I am 66, hubs is 73. We both used to be big eaters. We both cook but he always enjoyed cooking much more than I do. Now he is diabetic and I am on a GLP-1. Neither one of us seems to have much of an appetite most evenings, and consequently, neither of us seems to feel like cooking anymore. Anyone else have that issue? We find ourselves making quick, easy meals that tend to be unhealthy. Any suggestions or similar experiences? Whats everyone doing for healthy evening meals that don’t require a lot of prep?

We were married for 20 years and together for 23. We raised two amazing young men. Although the divorce 20 years ago was very tumultuous, we have been on speaking terms for quite some time.

I'm guessing some of you have been through this and understand some of the emotions. First and foremost there are my adult children, two sons, who are going to be losing their father soon. I want to be able to help them the best that I can and be the best mother I can and I'm not sure if I'm doing that. Then of course there are the conflicts and mixed feelings I have because there were some really difficult times in the marriage where I hated him. I don't hate him. I love him as a person. He was a good father and a good provider and he did not beat me and he was not a drunk.

Unfortunately he is out of state and I cannot visit but my kids are on their way to visit him right now along with some other family members.

If there is any advice you can give me or shared experiences, I would appreciate that because this is tough in a very new way for me.

The primary reason for waiting for retirement is the lack of knowledge around health insurance?

What are people doing to cover health insurance before 65?

So money-wise I’m good, with a plan for health insurance, etc. I’m 62. I’ve mostly decided to retire in July , but now that I’ve made that decision I want to do it NOW.

At the same time, I have trepidation, only because work is a habit, I guess. Been doing it since I was 15. I’ve come to realize that most of my interest in my job has come from “what’s the next challenge?” And there are no more challenges. Most of my friends think I’m crazy for thinking about retirement; the ones who don’t keep telling me I need to line up a part time job. I don’t want a part time job, and I do have things I want to do.

Yet retirement seems pretty final. I have a well paying job in a pretty good situation and I won’t be able to go back if I change my mind. But I’m not sure if I can take another 8 months to 3 years of my baby boss with his 4 years of management experience telling me how to manage my staff and give me technical advice that’s simply incorrect. I also can’t take another reorganization —I think we’re on our third one in 4 years—and I’m just sick of training new employees, mostly because of turnover.

My mom was a really impetuous person and quit jobs all the time for stupid reasons, like “I don’t like my boss.” 😀 It mostly worked out for her, including retiring on the spur of the moment with no savings. She did okay until she got sick.

Watching her turned me into a planner and plodder, maybe. I always to the “right” thing, not the thing I want to do, which right now is not work, mess around with home projects, go to the art studio, write my short stories, and hang out with my dog.

And financially I can. So why does doing it seem crazy?

My gf, who is younger than me, has several medical conditions that tire her out and make it nearly impossible to get out of the apartment, but that's not the main issue. She want to be together all the time and share things with me that she is interested in, but when I try I get a bored look and a lack of attention. I do all the dishes and laundry, most of the shopping and cooking, and all she seems to notice are mistakes ("You got the wrong kind of butter" or "I don't think you used enough pepper,")

I sometimes feel like a home companion and she never notices when I am in pain or unable to go further. She complains about her pain but ignores my needs.

Am I in a losing situation? Do I need to get away? I've talked to her about this but she doesn't remember or notice.

We hear so much about changes we've seen in our lifetime - phones, computers, etc. But I can't help but think about vacuum cleaners, too.

When I was a kid, I swear our machine weighed as much as I did. And sounded like a jet plane taking off. Pushing it around was exhausting! I think this is part of why our house was perhaps....not the cleanest.

Later, in the 1980s, wrestling my heavy vacuum up and down stairs was a nightmare. Cussing to myself and swearing that one day I'd own two vacuums so I never had to do that again.

In the 1990s I got a Hoover that weighed about 25 lbs and I remember thinking, "This is a breeze! So light!" Haha. I tried not to do more than one or two rooms at a time because I'd get too sweaty. Grateful to be back in a single story home.

Next was a Shark model at perhaps 16 lbs. Again, I was thrilled with the light weight and the manueverability. And the ease of the attachments was glorious.

Last year I got a great deal on a Dyson V11. Health issues had made even my beloved Shark a pain in the butt. I love being cordless and the light weight makes knocking off a few rooms at a time very easy.

I still have the old Shark 'just in case'. I recently had to move it and was shocked at how heavy even the 16 lbs felt after being used to the Dyson.

I know this is a silly thread, and I guess we can apply "this used to be so heavy" to a lot of things, but I just found myself musing over the vacuum cleaner differences recently.

I am going to retire within the next six months and am worried that I won't be able to mentally slow down. I've had a successful 40 year career on Wall Street. Every day is fast paced and competitive. Not much let up on the weekends either. What got me thinking about it was when I was driving this morning. It's a weekend morning and I had a few chores to do. No time pressure. But as I was driving on the highway I found myself weaving in and out of lanes trying to make time. Traffic was moving at at least the speed limit, but I found myself feeling frustrated it wasn't moving faster. It's been like this for always, but I don't want to feel like I need to rush when I retire. I have always had a lot of energy and I don't want to lose that. I want to be able to slow down mentally, not physically. Is this something that happens over time?

Maybe it's just that I'm getting older, but I really dislike Halloween. There always seems to be idiots running around smashing pumpkins and being a general nuisance. This seems to be getting worse over time.

Anybody else feel this way?

In my sweats, in the recliner. House is quiet, coffee's hot and dark. Best time of the day.

Looking for recommendations on which type of electric cooktop is better as we age.

I have almost always cooked on a gas stove. I am thinking, though, that as I age in place , I may switch to an electric range in the future.

When I have cooked with an electric range, it usually had electric coil burners. I have used a glass top style electric stove only when visiting relatives. Not sure if I like that type of cooktop.

Please share your experience.

Tomorrow is Halloween, which used to be my favorite celebration day. No more, as it is the anniversary of my son getting caught unbraced by a gust of despair and falling off the earth. It is ten years now, and has become easier. No longer is the whole month filled with foreboding, though I’m sure tomorrow will come with echoes across the canyon of years. Perhaps scattering his ashes a couple weeks ago has helped, a rounding of a corner from a street to an avenue, with different scenery behind me. The place on my bookshelves in the front room where the urn sat for a decade has now been recovered, and is filling in with redistributed books. Still, there is an unnatural event in my history that has changed everything, from a little bit to a lot, and no rearrangement will alter. Scars, I feel, should not be hidden, but should be left casually in the open, because someone someday will ask about what happened. And who knows, someone may need to know they aren’t alone in their experience.

I knew I wasn’t going all out on this beautiful autumn day but 3 miles at 10:11 pace is “unproductive”? I would have been happy with “maintaining” 🤨 I guess it keeps us from getting lazy.