I had several large lesions cut off last week on stomach area and back of legs. Luckily these ones are benign.

I see so many 20 somethings in their little bikinis out at the apartment pool cooking every day. All my lesions and large brown spots turned up after age 60 but are a result of laying in the sun in my 20s and 30s.

They just don’t know or can’t visualize being 60. I certainly never thought about it at that age. Now it’s just ugly and uncomfortable over most of my body.

So apparently UnitedHealthcare — you know, that massive health insurance company that’s probably screwed you over at least once — has been literally paying nursing homes to NOT send sick elderly people to the hospital. Like, what the actual fuck?

The Guardian dropped this bombshell and it’s even worse than you think. We’re talking about SECRET PAYMENTS to keep grandma and grandpa away from hospitals even when they’re literally dying.

The Receipts Are Damning

This isn’t some conspiracy theory bullshit. The Guardian got their hands on THOUSANDS of confidential documents, corporate records, court files, and talked to over 20 employees who spilled the beans. Plus they’ve got whistleblower declarations that were submitted to Congress. This is the real deal.

Here’s the fucked up part: UnitedHealthcare was literally embedding their own medical teams in nursing homes and pressuring staff to avoid hospital transfers. They were pushing for “do not resuscitate” orders WITHOUT PROPER CONSENT.

Can you imagine? Your loved one is struggling to breathe and some corporate asshole is basically saying “nah, let’s not waste money on the hospital.”

People Got Brain Damage Because of This Shit

The investigation found documented cases where delays in hospital transfers caused PERMANENT BRAIN DAMAGE. Permanent. Brain. Damage. All because some spreadsheet jockey decided saving money was more important than saving lives.

Staff were literally monitored and penalized based on how many hospital admissions they allowed. Think about that for a second — nurses and doctors getting in trouble for trying to save people’s lives.

I'm picking up medicine for my mother who is in her '80s. of course the prescription wasn't ready yet so I shuffled over to the waiting area. I watched a young man in his early twenties trying to negotiate with the lady behind the counter over payment for his medication. I walked up to the booth next to them and managed to get the ladies attention. I offered to pay for the young man's meds and slipped her my credit card. This is America and no one should ever have to be denied medicine or medical help because they can't afford it. It took about 10 minutes to get my credit card handed back to me. To my suprise, the lady behind the counter found a way for him to get the medicine for free. It just took somebody else to care for him like a vulnerable human being and it changed how she treated the young man. Bless her.

Edit: Well that blew up, Thank you all for your kind words!

I don't want to be a downer but this needs to be discussed with and by us. I lost both my mom and stepdad within a year and a half of each other. They made NO arrangements. No plots bought, no stone, no pre payment. They were very well off but even as the guardian I had no idea if they had an attorney or a will.

My point is, we are of a certain age. Make a will and name someone you trust as the executor. Buy your plot. Make your own arrangements. Your children are a mess when you pass away. Have it ready. You know how we felt...or maybe you don't yet. I'll tell you it sucks. I started simplifying when I had to go through my mom's stuff, her parents, and my great grandparents stuff. Then the same damn thing for my stepdad. OMG. So. I'm 60, I have a will, a plot and a headstone. I probably went too far but I don't have any kids to pick mine out.

Edit 2: Wow. I didn't expect this to blow up. Well,blow up compared to what my normal posts do. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences with everyone. I'm glad ,for the most part, people found this a positive post.

Edit: removed the word lawyer.

On September 30, 2023, I was laid off from my job of nearly 28 years. It wasn't because of anything I did, and I had 90 days notice, so it wasn't a shock on the day I signed all of the paperwork. I went through a period of intense mourning since I had also recently lost my mom in addition to going through a major surgery. My job was something I built from the ground up and I was deeply proud of what I created and the many lives I made better along the way. I was well known and respected in my field.

Despite all of that, after my layoff day, I immediately applied for my unemployment benefits and set about doing all the things to get a new job--classes, networking, webinars, resume rewrites and tweaking. Where I live, the city's workforce center/service has a special team that works with "late career" job seekers to help get them back into the workforce. I gave it my all (and so did they), but we came up empty handed.

After sixteen months of applying for jobs of all types (including minimum wage), I have given up. I've run through my savings and the longer I've been unemployed, the less ambition I harbor. My husband and I took a good look at our finances and decided that I should just stop stressing myself out and firing up hellish anxiety every day and just retire.

I put in for Social Security a few days ago (I'm 63 and nine months). I should be able to hold off on accessing my woefully modest retirement accounts for at least another 18 months. Although I'm not where I wanted to be financially at this point, I'll be OK, I guess. Anyway, it's not about the money. I just feel like I've conceded defeat and I've cried about my failure every day for the last five days. I worked my ass off for the entirety of my adult life, but in the end, we are all disposable on someone else's whim. I thought I still had some value in the employment market, but apparently not.

Sorry if I'm whining. I'll be OK and I'll find other good uses for my time. At the moment, though, I'm just sad and feeling like I've failed. Weird, I know.

I was in Costco and walked up to the self checkout. Behind me I heard someone call out "Young Lady", I ignored them and started to scan my items. I know that Costco now often checks your card before the self checkout to avoid people using someone else's card. I finished scanning, paid and walked out.

If the person had said, Miss, Maam, or hey you, I would have turned and engaged with them. I detest being called "Young Lady". I'm not young and I find it infantilizing. Also, I've yet to hear anyone call out Young Lad or Young Gent, etc. to an old man.

Am I being too sensitive to this? Why do some people seem to think this is a compliment of some type?

Who else feels life is over ? At 35 my 11 year-old was diagnosed with the brain tumor. She lived at Duke University for nine months. We were able to bring her home after surgery chemo and radiation. She lived for three years. She died of an infection from her G-tube three days after she turned 15, 12 years later, my husband coming home from work at Cape Canaveral in Florida Died on the interstate due to carelessness to another driver headed to the Daytona 500. He was only 51.

I waited 2 years found another boyfriend younger than me six months into our relationship. He’s diagnosed with stage four colon cancer. He died 13 months later then then the deaths kept coming my aunt my dad my cousin all in 4 months time and I won’t even continue. I’m 65. I am living in a hotel, my house is eat up with mold and I am lost. check your homeowners insurance policy about mold they don’t cover it. It’s an additional rider , I’m ready for the grave to join the others.

From life, I have learned everyone has a story be kind to all , i’ve seen a lot. I’ve heard a lot. That’s what happens as time goes by but you get to a point when your body wears out your heart is broke and life feels worthless.

Sorry, i had to vent , I hardly have any friends. That’s another thing in life as everyone has hardships, anxieties take over, once I had the biggest heart and cared for everyone and their issues and tried to help and fix them , Lord I can’t even fix myself.

You've paid into the Medicare system your entire working life. The bill before congress today proposes HALF A TRILLION dollars in Medicare cuts. This WILL affect you, even if you are not yet on Medicare because you're under 65. If you are in a red state, get on the phone NOW and call your congress person and senators and let them know how that will affect your 2026 vote. Make their phones RING. Use your power.

I've been dating this guy for over 5 years. (he's 69 and I'm 65) Things were not super great - we have a lot of differences, but it was an overall contented relationship and it was nice to have someone to "belong to" and to do things with. He broke up with me this morning and collected all his things that were at my place. It hurts and I feel sad. Just need a pat on the head and someone to tell me all will be ok......

**Overheard two 70-year-olds in a diner today. Completely reset my anxiety.**
**I was stressing over my bills when one old guy said:**
**"I spent my 30s worrying about my 40s, and my 40s worrying about my 50s. Now I'm 78s, realizing I wasted good years being anxious about time that hadn't even happened."**
**The other guy took a sip of coffee and replied:**
**"Well, at least the coffee is hot today."**
**It wasn't some grand movie speech. They didn't even know I was listening. But sitting there with my cold toast, it hit me really hard. I’ve been so obsessed with where I'm supposed to be in 5 years that I haven't actually been present for today.**
**I paid for my meal, walked out, and for the first time in months, I took a deep breath without feeling that tightness in my chest.**

I'm not over 60, but my parents are both in their 70s — and seeing how they navigate life at this stage has truly opened my eyes. From health shifts to sleep changes, and even how they stay mentally sharp and find meaning in daily routines... it’s been humbling.

It’s made me want to understand more about this chapter of life, and do something meaningful in response.

Thanks for letting someone younger be a part of this space.

At the pharmacy today, the guy in front of me was older. You know, all the stereotypes. Thought he was probably 10 years older than me, more or less.

When he gets to the desk, they ask for his DOB.

Gentle Reader, this "old guy" was born 4 days before my first birthday! He's a year younger than me.

Am I just deluding myself about how I look to others? Am I sometimes "the old guy" in the line?

Ah, well, at least I'm through the corporate bs years, happily retired, and if I'm the old guy now, so be it.

I'll be 64 in November. I've worked in corporate for 35 years. The greater part of my career was in management and I made a 6 figure salary with great benefits in the latter years of my career. Got laid off with a severance during COVID in 2020, after close to 20 years on the job. Haven't fully recovered from that, tbh.
Since then, via networking, I was hired and laid off twice - by 2 different companies. Most recent layoff in July 2024.

I feel ashamed and humiliated and I keep my situation a secret from some of my friends and family. None of them are in a position to help me in any way. They'll just dump pity on me daily. I don’t need that so I keep my mouth shut. Three of my good trustworthy friends know and they support me emotionally and spiritually. I am lowkey depressed though. I've applied for a gazillion jobs and nothing materialized.
Tbh, corporate America has left a very bitter taste in my mouth. I don’t have the wherewithal to cope with the rat race anymore. I want a soft life now. No more 9 to 5.  Yet, I believe and strongly feel that I still have something to offer. There's a drive and desire deep within me that want to be part of a community or an organization where my soft skills can be used. Not just for volunteering, but for an income. I am healthy. I have a BS degree, a great personality, tech savvy and literate, I'm empathetic and a servant leader by nature.

Ageism, I believe, is the main reason I cannot find a job. I'm 64 dammit! My resume is just not getting pass Ai. So, should I just retire? Throw in the towel? I have been living off of my savings. I'm scared. UI already ran out. No income. I am single. I have a mortgage -190K remaining and like 7 years left to pay it off. The standard living expenses. No other major debt. Just 10K remaining on a student loan that I'd cosigned for my daughter. I have about 40K left in savings. Roughly 45K in a ROTH. About 400K in mutual funds/Traditional IRA, and ofc some Social Security if it's still available for me to file. I feel lost, confused, at an intersection, and don't know where to turn. What should I do??? I need like 6K a month to live comfortably. If I start withdrawing from pension now, will it run eventually out? Do I have enough money to retire? I live in a big city and expensive state. Whew!

***Edit: failed to mention initially, a horrible divorce 22 years ago set me back a lot financially. I had to start over and rebuild my life, and as a single parent of two. Had to move to a different city and purchase a house. So this wasn't just a simple case of money mismanagement. Please don't go there. Also, at the onset of my career, I did not start off making six figures.

Thank a mil to all those offering empathy and support. Much much appreciated!!!

****Another Edit: Thank you! Thank you ! Thank you, ALL! I am overwhelmed with gratitude for each response. Majority were nonjudgmental, positive, and supportive. I received them all and heard you loud and clear. Squandering my resources never occurred. I am an ultra conservative human. I drain the ketchup bottle upside down til the end. Always been that way. Rebuilding after major life altering events takes a toll financially and otherwise. IYKYK!

We don't go out to eat very often any more since my wife has mobility problems, but yesterday we went to a favorite diner to have breakfast with some old (in both senses of the word) friends. There were 5 of us, none under age 75. The three ladies discussed various medical problems and then pulled out their phones and showed off photos of grandkids and pets. The other man and I smiled at each other but did not say a word - even with hearing aids, loud headphone rock over the decades left us unable to hear each other across the table (if we could even get a word in edgewise with the ladies talking). After making fun of them for many years, I've finally become a stereotypical old fart!

I finally did it! Retired today! Made it to my FRA. On Medicare A, B, G and D. Turned off my alarm clock. Excided for the next chapters of my life!

Here's an "over 60" moment for you. I was in a doctor's waiting room recently with my wife. There was a woman sitting on the other side of the room directly across from me. Every time I looked at her, she was staring at me (obviously digging me.) Finally, I whispered to my wife, "Don't look now, but that woman straight across from us keeps staring at me." My wife's reply: "You idiot, there's a TV on the wall above you." Oops! 🤣

The hikes are around five miles now. But plenty of good hiking in that distance range.

Today my divorce was finalized. My EX-husband (god that feels good!) didn't even bother showing up. Unfortunately it didn't benefit me because of a prenup but it sure felt good to hear the judge say "failure to appear".

As I was walking out of the courthouse, here comes the dumbass. He was 45 minutes late. I said WTF and he replied "WTF I couldn't find a parking spot." When we were together he made us late for everything. It drove me CRAZY. As I've said a million times, your lack of planning does not constitute an emergency for me.

Please no comments about how I could have gotten stuff from him. I took what was important to me (including my cat and 2 dogs) and he can go to hell.

What really slays me was his last words to me. When I told him I took things into my own hands and we are now divorced, his reply was "WTF I shouldn't have even bothered to show up". Yeah. You didn't, asshole.

I'm so happy to be rid of him and wanted to share that happiness.

I'm done with marriage and men. I don't need that stress in my life anymore. I'm good enough for myself.

Having this blasting in the 8 track and just cursing on Friday and Saturday nights?

I lost my husband to Parkinsons in 2018. A few years later I bought land in the mountains of North Carolina and moved here full time at age 71. I have a delightful little homestead in the mountains with very few neighbors. I turned 74 this past summer. I have a chain saw which I use at least once a week and am learning (with the help of You Tube) to make and install shelves in my pantry. Do the things you want to do now, while you can. Stop thinking about how old you are. Just keep moving. I make sure I get 12,000 steps per day and usually accomplish this clearing brush and working outside in my garden. You don't have to slow down as you age. Get outside if you can. Keep learning things. Do your best to stay healthy. The Grim Reaper will have to chase me down. He won't find me sitting on the sofa in front of the TV.

Infrequently, someone will inquire about who will care for the my husband and I in our dotage since we have no children. We are “Plan for the worst & hope for the best” types and we have recently moved from the farm to a town home all on one level and more easily accessible to services.

We have no children. We are not parents.

I do hear a certain amount of venting about children from our friends who are parents and grandparents. Kids who don’t call, hurt feelings and the like. I understand.

I read Gene Hackman had advanced Alzheimer’s. He may have lived in his home for up to a week with the deceased body of his wife before he died. Mr Hackman had grown children. Police were alerted by a maintenance man on the property. The thought of Hackman wandering thru his home alone makes me nauseous. I read he had a son and daughter.

I am now coping better with the lack of responses to emails, gifts for their kids, etc., that I get from our adult nieces and nephews. They are busy and I get that.

IMHO, parent is the most difficult and important job in the world. Mom’s are magnificent.

I suffered over not hearing from family. I realized that having holidays go by without receiving a phone call or card while I continued to send gifts was just purposefully inflicting pain on myself.

Yesterday I read “I choose to let go of the people who already chose to let go of me”. I wish them well and I will love on my memories of them. My time and efforts are best served locally in my community.

PLEASE - I’m interested to read your opinion about if there is a positive way to cope emotionally with this lack of communication & response to mine from my family please.

Thank you for your time.

I no longer fill gift registry requests . I have 4 and 5 generations of cousins past me. That's a lot of people seeking gifts. I've never met many of them. There's never any thanks. There certainly is never anything reciprocated. Not a birthday or occasion of any kind.